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WTF: Nelson Lewis Falls Off the Truth Wagon

Oh, how we’ve longed for this glorious day!  A day when Washington media’s most exquisite creature, Nelson Newis, would again grace our site with his wild lies, social climbing and general WTFuckery. You may remember His Excellency Nelson Lewis as the former FNC staffer and Laura Ingraham Show producer who last year found himself in the clink for impersonating Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga).  Or maybe you remember him as Minister Plenipotentiary for Artistic Endeavors to the Bahamas. No?  Rolling Stone writer?  Ambassador?  As it turns out, most of Nellie’s tales, titles and jobs were nothing more than a wicked web of lies he’d been spinning for years (read the full recap here).

In December 2010 Nelson’s web came toppling down and our little fire pants fled the District to seek treatment for chronic lying at the Menninger Clinic in Texas.  Thinking we’d seen the last of him, you can imagine our delight to learn Lewis had returned to DC when we caught him crashing The Week’s Opinion Awards at W Hotel this past May.  But sadly, it seems that party crashing is the gateway drug to compulsive lying because Lewis fell off the truth wagon and just got caught.

Which brings us to last night at the Dubliner where CBS News’ Christine Delargy and a merry band of boozers were enjoying a post-production libation.   As the story goes, His Excellency approached Delargy & Co.’s table to introduce himself.  Our tipster tells us that everyone except for Christine offered up their names in response to Nelson’s greeting.  But like any good social climber, Lewis didn’t waste the opportunity to catalog a face or title, so he  instead asked Christine her place of employment. When she replied “CBS News,” Lewis let the lies fly.

“I know a lot of people there… Do you know Christine Delargy?  She’s a good friend of mine,” exclaimed Lewis.

Delargy quickly corrected the con man, saying “Um, no she’s not.  Because she is me.”  Then a puzzled Nelson quickly shuffled away from the table and out of sight.  Christine confirmed the bizarre encounter but declined to comment on the matter.  As for us, all we have to say is:  This embeddable music video goes out to you, Nelson.  #neverchange

White House Soup of the Day

Today’s White House Soup of the Day is…

White Chicken Chili.

“You know what, it’s fall, feels like fall, not yet fall but it feels like fall, a good day for chili,” rambled MSNBC “The Daily Rundown” Host Chuck Todd.

Parnes Pays CLICK a Visit

IN WITH THE NEW: Before (left) and after (right). Clearly after is the better choice for the White House Spokesman.

Politico‘s Amie Parnes may have flown the site’s gossip coop. But she paid them a visit today with an item about White House Spokesman Jay Carney‘s new retro glasses.

Sort of feels like Dorothy and Kansas.
(The item isn’t half bad, actually.)

Read here.

(NJ, Politico‘s fierce rival, also made a note of Carney’s new glasses. See here and watch of clip of Carney bantering with the press about his new specs.)

The Hill’s 50 MB: Lessons Learned

We’re all about education here in the Fishbowl.  That’s why rather than trashing The Hill‘s 2011 “50 Most Beautiful List” or making snide remarks about anyone’s god-given appearance, we decided to make it a learning experience.  So we channeled our inner Rachel Zoe and developed a short guide of style tips and tactics while reviewing this year’s roster.

Whether you’re jonesing for a hot, new Facebook profile pic or find yourself striking a pose for next year’s “50 MB,” FishbowlDC’s guide to style will guarantee a glamour shot worthy of a spot on your granny’s fireplace mantle…

Christine Martin: We love pageant hair as much as the next blog but go full “Toddlers and Tiaras” or go home.  What in the Aquanet hell happened here?  A Bump-It as exquisite as Christine’s should be accompanied by tundrels, teasing, extensions and a cubic zirconia banana clip.

Kate Bolduan: This one hurts a little because we like Kate and rarely take issue with her style.  But Derelicte is not a real clothing line.  So we’re not sure why this CNN reporter selected a Zoolander-inspired Jacobim Mugatu Hefty bag jacket for her photo shoot. 

Tim Torres: Ryan Seacrest is not a style star.  Leave the size schmedium button-downs and skinny ties to the E! Network.  They need them more than we do.

 

 

Jacqueline Ferko: Avoid “Designing Women” marathons before your photo shoot.  Or you too could end up looking like the Executive VP of Sugarbaker Designs.

 

Rep. Adam KinzingerPractice your Blue Steel, Ferrari and Le Tigre in the mirror before you get in front of a camera.  Bedroom eyes and constipated face are two very different looks.  And as our girl Tyra would say, “don’t forget to smize.”

Mandi Critchfield: Don’t schmutz up the pretty with goofy poses and emo clothes. We get it.  You’re an individual…just like everyone else who shops at Hot Topic. But that doesn’t make it okay to sport Star Wars tee shirts and pose like a model for Lens Crafters.

Rep. Hansen Clarke:  Dish out the dough for Invisalign or embrace your brace face.  Never…and by never, we mean never-ever try to hide your chompers with a close-mouthed smile.  It’s creepy and can lead to a terrible case of pedosmile.  The only thing worse than a metal grill is a pedosmile. #neverforget

* Special thanks to the 50 MBers who helped us illustrate these rules.  We’re laughing with you, not at you so please don’t take it personally.  And remember, you’re on the list and we’re not. Congrats on your beauty!  To see The Hill’s full list of honorees, click here.

Salahi Slaughters Gay Zebra, Drops Track in Miami

It’s official. I’m breaking one of my New Year’s resolutions and writing about Washington’s biggest waste of flesh, the Salahis.  Just when I thought the fame-whoring White trash House crashers had finally burnt through the last of their celebrity, Michaele goes and makes an even bigger ass of herself on Miami’s NBC affiliate this morning.

Alas, she’s back in the media and this time she’s a singer.  But we must admit, the below video of  her debut performance of “Bump It” is not only ridiculous, it’s kind of hilarious.  Partly because Michaele looks like a low-rent Dina Lohan who slaughtered a helpless, gay zebra to make her dress… But mainly because of the “In Living Color” Fly Girl rejects and elfin rapper who help her break it down. Happy Friday.

View more videos at: http://nbcmiami.com.

Charlie Cook: Fat Harry Potter?

Ba ha! Charlie Cook made an unexpected appearance on NBC’s Tonight Show last night. The editor of Cook’s Political Report was featured in Jay Leno‘s segment “Too Fat to Look Like Harry Potter.”  Check it out below.

WTOP Wants to Know About Your Dumb Accidents

Accidents can be hilarious, especially the kind that don’t kill you.

Take at-home accidents like cutting your face while trying to fluff up your hair, slamming your nose in a freezer door, falling down stairs or almost losing an eye after dropping a pen near a storage bin.

What are your best at-home accidents? WTOP wants to know. In fact, they want you to tell your story on WTOP’s Facebook page or to tweet WTOP with the hashtag #WTOPdumb.

Read more here. In the meantime, if any of you journos feel moved and want to share your accidents with us, write us at FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com or to FishbowlBetsy@gmail.com. We promise not to laugh.

Osama or Usama?

A annoyed Anonymous Tipster writes in:

Why is FOX now saying it is “Usama” when before has stated “Osama”? Which is it really? USAma gives him USA at the beginning of his name – or – Osama is just one letter away from Obama. Is that why? C’MON FOX!!!!

Though Fox seems to be the only news source that uses this particular spelling, it is also the spelling preferred by United States intelligence agencies. The FBI’s “Most Wanted List,” now updated to reflect bin Laden’s death, has the name spelled “Usama.” The CIA’s website also spells bin Laden’s name with a “U.”

So tipster, while “Usama” may in fact put “USA” at the front of his name, Fox seems to be going along with U.S. intelligence on the spelling.

Last Call: Yellin Hearts Ke$ha, TheAtlantic.com Shuffles Staffers

Je$$ica Yellin?: If Jessica Yellin wasn’t CNN’s national political correspondent, she’d be either a Fortune 500 CEO or the host of Solid Gold.  At least that’s what she tells National Journal in an interview for Hotline today.  Other interesting snippets: She jams out to Ke$ha and a superior once told her, “We have a problem with your hair. It blows in the wind.”  Read the full interview with a NJ password or free trial here.

Shuffle at TheAtlantic.comJosh Green, who currently writes for both the magazine and website, will direct his attention to blogging for the Politics channel for the next 20 months.  Conor Friedersdorf, who worked for Andrew Sullivan at the Daily Dish, is not moving with his boss to the Daily Beast.  Instead he’ll join Garance Franke-Ruta and Josh Green in Politics.  Lastly, TheAtlantic.com picked Spencer Kornhaber from AOL’s Patch.com.  He’ll join Eleanor Barkhorn on the Culture channel as an associate editor.  Full memo from Bob Cohn after the jump.

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Happy Birthday to the Most Interesting Man in the World!

The dude in the Dos Equis ad campaign has nothing on this birthday boy… Can you guess his identity from the super studly prom picture below?

Here’s a hint: after a brief hiatus, he recently returned to journalism to take a gig at the new National Journal. Answer after the jump.

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