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Mediaite’s Family Circus

The good folks over at Mediaite sure had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. And by fantastic, we mean they stuck their heads in a meat grinder and pressed the on button. No, no, that’s not exactly true. What they actually did was engage in warfare with The Daily Beast columnist and MSNBC Contributor Meghan McCain over whether she’s an overbearing bully who brings problems upon her victimy self or whether she’s just a buxom girl-next-door type who has listened to Madonna’s “Express Yourself” one too many times. They recapped and recapped and recapped. And they imploded on one another. Does a certain workplace need to retreat to the woods for some trust exercises led by the well-coiffed Dan Abrams?

Let’s recap, shall we?

Thursday May 24, 2012: Meghan appears on MSNBC’s Al Sharpton‘s program and maligns both conservative commentator Michelle Malkin and the late Andrew Breitbart. She says they “exacerbate people’s fears.” Breitbart is dead, but don’t let that detract from the importance of her point.

That same day, Mediaite‘s sharp-tongued Frances Martel writes a recap of the program, specifically pointing to the inappropriateness of McCain conjuring up the deceased Breitbart at a time like this.

Friday May 25, 2012: Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman, labeled as the site’s resident conservative, insists McCain is no victim. Rothman details all the Republicans McCain has publicly slashed: Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren for bringing Lindsay Lohan to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich, wife, Callista, and another GOP hopeful Rick Santorum to name a few.

Mediaite’s Frances Martel and Noah Rothman

At this point Mediaite‘s resident liberal and White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher takes to Twitter to defend Meghan, calling Noah’s piece “garbage.” Abrams chimes in, “Is it sadistic that I kind of love that @mediaite’s @tommyxtopher is taking on @mediaite’s @noah_c_rothman on twitter?” (Coming up: Abrams will report on his own apparently hilarious tweet.)

Saturday May 26, 2012: This was a big day. Meghan publishes a column in the Beast at 4:45 a.m. entitled “Cut it out Internet Bullies!” in which she emotes about the Republican Party treating her “like a freak.” The column was in response to her appearance on Sharpton’s show and details the many piercing insults she received which included “fat pig” and a suggestion that she kill herself with a cocktail of pills and booze.

By far the grandest part of the day arrives at 7:29 p.m. because that’s when Abrams of Dan Abrams’ Mediaite (oh, please don’t get mad at me for writing that!) decided to get all up in McCain’s well-moisturized face and tell her what’s what. Abrams, also well moisturized, was irate that McCain dared to refer to Mediaite as “Dan Abrams’ Mediaite” in her “Bullies” column. Whoa! How insulting. He insists anyone who’s anyone knows he doesn’t do jack for the site on a daily basis. In fact, his uninvolvement is palpable: “It’s well known that I do not edit the site,” he wrote, explaining that it’s insulting to his writers on his site to suggest as much. To exact revenge for her daring to give him ownership of his own site (that he owns), he said he purposely demeaned her by calling her “John McCain’s daughter Meghan.” Daughter of a Senator. Former Presidential hopeful. Tortured Vietnam vet. The horror. With Memorial Day coming up, this was, to say the least, touching. Abrams also provided a roundup of what happened so people reading this saga for the 5000th time could understand what was happening.

Monday May 28, 2012: By no means was the long weekend over. On Monday night at 7:26 p.m. we were treated to yet another roundup from Christopher, who challenged his boss, — um, Abrams? — by once again defending McCain. Headline: “McCain is not a ‘bully’ who ‘looks for fights.’” He also touches on Breitbart and declares that he’s 100 percent certain that if he was alive he would not have responded to McCain by calling her a “fat, clueless, whore.” We’re 100 percent certain Breitbart would’ve liked that line. Christopher’s piece takes on fairytale tones as he declares the young maiden McCain a “beautiful young woman” and calls that a “fact.” If nothing else in all this is clear, it’s this: Christopher will defend McCain to his dying day. Think sword fights and armor. Cannons. Buckets of PETA blood. Whatever it takes. Christopher, who likes to personalize his pieces, remarked that McCain’s body issues strike personal chords within him.  He doesn’t say what — and yes, are we dying to know, does it remind him of his once gangrene-laden liver? — but he says it’s especially personal to him.

“What makes this especially personal for me, though, and one of the reasons I’ve admired Meg since long before we became friends, is that the kind of attacks that Meg has had to endure also promote ideas about body image that are tangibly harmful to girls and young women. Meg’s defiance in the face of these assaults strikes a blow for them, and the example she sets is more valuable than any 10 cable news talking heads.”

And this concludes Mediaite‘s Memorial Day 2012. Now how about those trust exercises?

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