Hey friends, are you still alive? Is anyone left in this god-forsaken city? Do people even read the Internet the day before Thanksgiving?
You don’t have to answer, we’re too busy listening to that Chris Gaines album and drinking whiskey (an old North Carolina Thanksgiving tradition) to care much, anyhoo. But hey, how about a little polly-poll, cuz, you know, those posts write themselves.
Vote on which turkey pardon headline you like best! And feel free to suggest your own if ya got one.