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GQ Puts its Testicles On the Line

In Washington, influence is everything. Then again, in some circles so is being retweeted, so maybe “everything” is a tad overrated. But today GQ takes some allegedly important people to task with a year-end list sure to make some want to hide under the covers. The magazine writers applaud themselves in the process, which is simultaneously nauseating and disappointing as it extracts any brownie points acquired for creating the list in the first place.

Their introduction: “Any magazine can do a year-end list of influential people who have accomplished far more than most of us ever will. But only GQ possesses the iron testicles to count down the twenty-five least significant men and women of 2012—a collection of people so uninspiring that we should round them all up and stick them on an iceberg. Please note that these folks are ranked in no particular order, because all zeros are created equal.” Yes, and that includes the zeros surrounding GQ at the moment and the “L” sign attached to its forehead.

(The above photograph is of bull testicles, but you get the idea.)

But let’s get on with the list

Those on the 25-member list include everyone from Mitt Romney (understandably #1) to George Zimmerman (#6) to first lady Michelle Obama (#7) for trying to get America to be less fat. They encourage her to eat a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice cream. Others on the list: Guy Fieri (#11), former PBS anchor Jim Lehrer (who moderated that presidential debate, remember?),  Keith Olbermann (#12) for f–king up a job at the last place that would hire him: Current TV. There’s no playing favorites on this list. They go after The Daily Caller‘s Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson (#25) for Neil Munro‘s antics in the Rose Garden this summer. “Stop dressing like a Dead Poets Society villain, and maybe people will take you seriously,” they write. Weirdly they put James Brady on the list, praising him for his efforts to curb gun violence, but somehow making him the poster child for unending gun violence in this country. Makes perfect sense, right?

In conclusion: Nix the arrogant introduction. The graphics, however, are exceptional and worth a look, as is the list, a creative way to glance back at the past year.

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