Miller and M&Ms

At this point, talking about Judy Miller reminds me of a fight I got into in 3rd grade…

With Johnny Knucklehead and I whailing our chubby-fat arms at each other like a ham-fisted windmill, we suddenly starred at each other, fists cocked and loaded, and simultaneously yelled: “I’ll stop punching if you stop punching! I’ll quit hittin’ if you quit hittin’!”

The only thing more funny than that scene is the fact that what we thought we were doing was actual punching.

So, as much as we’d like to stop beating this Judy-horse into the ground, she keeps serving us material. In other words, when she stops punching, we’ll stop punching. And we’re bloodied and bruised on the ground, begging her to quit.

So here’s the latest and greatest Judy tale…far too much insight into Judy Miller than we care for.

Naturally, we’ll pass it on to you.

Judy Miller, talking to Cindy Adams about life in the slammer:

• “I lost 20 pounds.”
  
• “I was never chunky, but now my doctor says I’m too thin. The food was inedible. People liken it to Army food. Please, our soldiers would desert!”
  
• “Everything’s brown or white. Grits, pasta, potatoes, sauce, Cream of Wheat. One dish was s— on a shingle. Sausage with gravy only they forgot the sausage. Brown slop. Once a week, the highlight of my week, we had hot dogs. I never saw so many carbohydrates. I lost weight because I couldn’t eat. I had stomach cramps, diarrhea. I kept throwing up.” She adds: “Because I had money I could buy from the canteen. I literally lived on trail mix and popcorn.”
  
• “Makeup’s forbidden, but jail develops amazing skills. For instance, M&Ms are sold in the canteen. Water the red ones, crush them, make paste with the dye and you get lipstick. Tweeze your eyebrows with a piece of string twirled around. Coloring pencils allowed in one empowerment program got used as eyeliner. In the laundry, there are styrofoam cups. Wet a color pencil, rub it into the styrofoam, break off a small piece and — a mascara brush. Or use your toothbrush, but then you must rinse it out well.”
  
• “The worst is not being allowed any dye. It’s awful. Although people snuck me in a little stain stick, I developed a very wide gray part. And thanks to my beloved paper, God Bless the Times, the whole world now knows I’m 57″

Launch a social media campaign that will build your brand and deliver results in our online Social Media Marketing Boot Camp starting June 7. Speakers include Abigail Cusick (Bravo Digital), Gregory Galant (Sawhorse Media), Alex Leo (Thomson Reuters Digital), Jim Tobin (Ignite Social Media), and many more. Read the reviews.