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Mustache Institute is Having Pipe Dreams

Don’t count on the American Mustache Institute for proper reporting techniques. You won’t find it. They invent support from presidential candidates and other lawmakers — no matter whether they give it or not. Their big cause is implementing a $250 tax credit for growing those largely ugly patches of facial hair (No offense to Tom Selleck and others who sort of wear them well or to ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner, who recently sported one, making him look like something of a porn star).

Today they’ve invented the idea that GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul supports their cause. At first we liked their ingenuity. But now? They’re just lying. Most recently they claimed that Rep. Roscoe Bartlett (R-Md.) was support their Stache Act. But it wasn’t true — a spokeswoman had presented papers to a committee and neither the lawmaker nor the chief of staff knew anything about it.

Watch here.

UPDATE: An undisclosed representative of the American Mustache Institute has written to us… “Isn’t lying a tad too far with something as lighthearted yet good looking as our Stache Act endeavors?” To whom it may concern: Lying is lying. You can’t invent a GOP presidential hopeful’s support for something — even jokingly — based on a weird wave of his hand.

UPDATE: The AMI won’t let up. They write, “We’re pretty certain that, to consumers and even Kardashians alike, it’s pretty clear if you watch the video that he has not endorsed it. We believe in America, the American intellect, and people named Betsy. Everything we do is in a lighthearted tone and charitable. We’re not looking to be dishonest in any way. Mustached Americans never lie.” In another email they added, “But……but…….if you thought we were being dishonest, it goes without saying that we owe you and the 3 other Betsy’s out there an apology. That was not the intent in any way.” To whom it may concern: Of course it’s clear from the video that Paul didn’t endorse it. But for you all to continue releasing statements saying he has is false. Whether you’re “looking to be dishonest” is irrelevant when you have been dishonest. To whom it may concern: I wrote back AMI to explain that I don’t think they can declare that mustachioed Americans never lie. They replied, “Easy tiger. Easy. We saw what you added on the bottom of your post. But let’s take a deep breath and realize this is a nice break from the daily doldrums of politicians needlessly bickering with one another and therefore accomplishing next to nothing on the behalf of the American people. Let’s look at the reality that the Stache Act will never become a true piece of legislation, and solely aims to promote discussion about the inequities of Mustached Americans while raising funds for charity.”

UPDATE: AMI refuses to say they have presented falsities regarding Ron Paul’s support of their Stache Act. “We think we’ll have to agree to disagree here. If it were not crystal clear that the entire thing is lighthearted, and that Mr. Paul in no way directly addressed it — and at the same time we were claiming endorsement — then yes, we would owe you, America and Delaware an apology. But alas, it’s pretty clear. We do, however, apologize to you for upsetting you in any way. We like your work and in no way are looking to burn bridges or anger the people who we only seek to amuse.” To whom it may concern: This isn’t about upsetting me. I am not “upset” and we can be friends until the end of time. I do feel strongly, however, that you can’t say a presidential hopeful supports your bill when in fact he doesn’t.

UPDATE: We think the mustache escapades are coming to a close. They write, “A few notes: We have made some subtle changes to the post per your suggestion and because you are named Betsy. Wait until you see our forthcoming [Mitt] Romney video in which you hear his aide say ‘I love the Stache Act.’ Did you know the Lorax also endorsed the Stache Act? Looking forward to seeing you at the March on April 1. And yes, it’s happening. We will be in DC and have the permits to prove it!” To whom it may concern: Thank you.

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