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National Press Club’s Pub Quiz is a Snooze

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Each month, the National Press Club holds a Pub Quiz - an evening of trivia, food, drink, and prizes – in the Reliable Source’s Truman Lounge for members and guests. What’s not to like, right? Right…FishbowlDC went last night, and here’s how it went down.

6:59pm - Abruptly end call with friend from home so as not to be late to the National Press Club’s Pub Quiz.

7:00 - Immediately regret ending said call.

My first thought is that I’ve come to the wrong gathering. This has to be either a nursing home bingo night or a sober mixer. Nope, it’s Pub Quiz.

7:03 - Introduce myself to the NPC’s Membership Secretary and confirm it’s cool for me to cover. It is, and I immediately stake my claim at a corner seat at the bar overlooking an eager crowd of 40 or so guests.

7:06 - Return to my seat (phone charger strategically placed to save my spot) after stepping away for a minute to two gentleman making my space theirs. Not. Gonna. Happen.

Introduce myself, let them know I was in fact sitting there, and am told they need this spot for their large group that’s soon to arrive. Still…Not. Gonna. Happen.

Membership secretary notices there’s some confusion and offers to pull together another seating area.

Once the new table is set up with chairs, I bid the men farewell and reclaim my corner seat at the bar.

7:10 - The game begins. Take note that it’s five rounds. Five rounds? Gosh, I hope this goes by quickly…I have friends at Bobby Vans I’m trying to meet!

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My corner seat, with said “seat stealers” directly behind.

7:24 - Round two starts and guests are asked ‘What type of cloud produces fog.’ Guests warned that ‘puffy clouds’ will not be accepted. Find myself cringing…

7:31 - Round two is coming to a close as is my second round of Press Club popcorn.

7:40 - In between rounds, my attention shifts to CNN’s Erin Burnett OutFront on the TV directly in front of me, which is covering the missing Malaysia Air Flight 730. So much for Pub Quiz. My attention has clearly been diverted…

7:51 - Someone breaks a glass and I immediately feel at home.

7:58 - Attention redirects to the Pub Quiz when I hear the name Taylor Swift mentioned on the microphone. Apparently one of the answers to a question was Taylor Swift and the host asks an older guest if she knows who the always (and sadly) single pop-country singer is. Zing!

8:10 - Think to self, “Is this almost over? I can’t leave before it is, can I?”

8:46 - Literally watch guest sneeze ALL OVER the bar. Not once, but like five times. Immediately stop breathing and run for the hand-sanitizer at the bar’s entrance.

8:49 - During a break while final points are being tallied, catch a glimpse of “The O’Reilly Factor,” which is covering the New Jersey teen suing her parents for financial support. Remember that this is why I love America.

Prizes for the night are about as thrilling as the actual event. Mini Slinkies for the team in last place. DVDs of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” Copies of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Miranda Lambert, and Taylor Swift CDs. Ohh, and a bottle of Jack Daniels for the winning team.

10 teams competed, including Crimea River (not funny), Crimea & Punishment (also not funny), and Dude, Where’s My Plane (too soon). In the end, Crimea & Punishment won the bottle of Jack, as well as the Willy Wonka DVDs.

9:12 - Depart Pub Quiz. Vow never to come back.

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