The Reliable Source pays some lip-service to their very own stalker today…”Vince.”
Vince apparently not only loves Amy and Roxanne, but he also meticulously tracks their (excessive?) use of exclamation points. They reprint his holiday greeting in full:
For Roxanne and Amy, here’s my wish to you,
That in 2006 may all your sources be true!
May your columns be spicy, delightful and bold,
With news of celebs no matter how old.
Who’s had the nip, tuck or facelift,
And what spouses are facing a rift!!!
So as you two dream of scandals galore,
Of Scooter, of Cheney, who knows what’s in store????
So farewell to Joe Wilson and Valerie, the Kidman sightings (glad they’re done?),
And the exploits of older-by-the-minute Bush twins having so much fun!
So Roxanne and Amy, bring all your readers the juiciest news,
And forget those bluenoses who act like Scrooge.
And never forget the point, oh, the exclamation!
It just makes everything the BIGGEST sensation!!!!!
We at Fishbowl rave with jealousy…wishing that we had our own stalkers…and wishing they’d pen us a holiday poem. Hell, we’d even settle for a haiku. (You heard right, Tapper…)