Earlier this month, The Daily Caller’s Executive Editor, David Martosko gave the keynote address to the Independence Institute’s Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm party at the Kiowa Creek Sporting Club in Bennett, Colo. Thank you C-SPAN for airing the comedy show last night. We didn’t realize the network had a whole new comedy division of programming.

Martosko, who was introduced as a “great friend of freedom”, is known for enjoying his frosty bevs (at least in the past, see the rap sheet here) and smoking cigars for breakfast. Combine that with the fact that The Daily Caller is giving guns away to readers and you have the proverbial poster boy for the ATF. He even jokes that the publication is unveiling an LGBT section on their site. Don’t be alarmed. That’s “Lasagna, Guns, Beer and Tobacco.”

Preacher Martosko begins with the obligatory grief porn eulogy to the late Andrew Breitbart. He speaks of an ATF event a few years ago where he and Breitbart were cruising the streets in a van while Breitbart was “howling at the moon.” He says Breitbart had a history of fighting “nameless, faceless bureaucratic nightmares who try and control what we do from behind dark curtains.” I’m sure there is some Illuminati who is always conspiring to keep Martosko and his drunk friends from raising their voices in a car. Way to stick it to the man you rebels!

Martosko spends most of the bloody red meat speech railing against the goddamn nanny state of America. He riles the audience by moving from banning foie gras to eradicating big gulps and salt. While he makes several valid points, he loses me when he starts preaching about health and how being a fat ass is actually a good thing. He asks, “Why worry about being overweight? One hundred years ago, corpulent bodies were the ideal.” He goes on to say that “being fat indicated that you weren’t part of the peasant class.” Two hundred years ago, we thought a lot of things, David. Luckily, we aren’t still burning witches and women and blacks are allowed to vote. Fortunately, many of us have evolved a little beyond the gorilla stage. (You do believe in evolution, don’t you?) Not to mention, is ANYONE looking to Martosko for tips on healthy living? Just imagine, even you could have a Body by Martosko. Of course, we’re still glad the tumor you recently had removed was benign and are sure your surgeon will be happy to hear you’re smoking up a storm for your twice a week cigar column. Because what pub doesn’t need two cigar columns in a week?

He concludes his speech by imploring everyone to go visit The Daily Caller (which he announces is better read than Rolling Stone) and download the iPad app. The rowdy, whooping crowd seems genuinely pleased with the anti-authority lecture they were just given. The entire video is posted below if you think you have the stomach for it. If nothing else, you should watch just to see Martosko’s impression of Homer and Lisa Simpson. We’re a little disappointed that Martosko, a former Glee Club Director, didn’t sing, but his renditions of Homer and Lisa might make up for not belting out an Ethel Merman song this time. By the way, he’s never cared much for Lisa. To him she represents the evil nanny state. The crowd went wild.

We recently featured conservative commentator and bestselling author Michelle Malkin on the site. We regularly highlight how she handles her hate mail. We also recently covered her thoughts on Fox & Friends regarding lefty radio host Bill Press declaring his dislike of the Star-Spangled Banner.

AnonymASS writes in:

Betsy,

Are you serious, or are you talking out of your butt here?  Have you ever actually LISTENED to Michelle Malkin?  Yes, she’s perky, attractive (why would anyone attack her looks??), and articulate, but she’s also in desperate need of  20 additional IQ points.  Malkin is on the same plane as Sarah Palin and Adam West.  If it’s an intelligent conservative woman you seek, try Bay Buchanan.

Dear AnonymASS: I try as much as possible to not talk out of my butt. Thanks for writing and for your indefatigable eloquence.

See a previous letter written to FBDC by this same author back in March after Andrew Breitbart died and I wrote a farewell piece on him. And to answer the author’s question, yes, I took exactly one philosophy class in college.

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Earlier, we brought you the story of the heavenly depiction of Andrew Breitbart. For the bargain price of $4,000, you can hang this trashy piece of grief porn on your wall. However, the more we stared at this freakish rendition of Breitbart, we noticed that he bears a striking resemblance to Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II. You be the judge.

If you are looking for a funky way to remember conservative media guru Andrew Breitbart, then boy do I have the gift for you. Artist David Bugnon has created this… um… interesting print of the late Breitbart. He seems to be decked out in some sort of medieval dragon-slaying suit of armor floating on a cloud (presumably from heaven.)

A description from the site where you can buy this masterpiece says:

“Andrew would happily fight people, organizations and governments with tooth, fang and claw if he sensed any anti-American BS. David Bugnon’s piece captures Breitbart’s essence as a contrarian: confident and geared-up.”

I’m not sure that Breitbart ever “geared-up” to look like a stand-in for the community theater production of “Spamalot.” The fact is, this isn’t my kind of artwork, but some maniac might want to hang this on the wall of their trailer next to their “Velvet-Elvis” painting. However, I may have some bad news. To buy one of these, will set you back $3,999.95! You can buy smaller versions of the print, but the cheapest you can purchase is a pack of five postcards for $9.95.

Hanging on to any shred of good taste: priceless.

The good folks over at Mediaite sure had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. And by fantastic, we mean they stuck their heads in a meat grinder and pressed the on button. No, no, that’s not exactly true. What they actually did was engage in warfare with The Daily Beast columnist and MSNBC Contributor Meghan McCain over whether she’s an overbearing bully who brings problems upon her victimy self or whether she’s just a buxom girl-next-door type who has listened to Madonna’s “Express Yourself” one too many times. They recapped and recapped and recapped. And they imploded on one another. Does a certain workplace need to retreat to the woods for some trust exercises led by the well-coiffed Dan Abrams?

Let’s recap, shall we?

Thursday May 24, 2012: Meghan appears on MSNBC’s Al Sharpton‘s program and maligns both conservative commentator Michelle Malkin and the late Andrew Breitbart. She says they “exacerbate people’s fears.” Breitbart is dead, but don’t let that detract from the importance of her point.

That same day, Mediaite‘s sharp-tongued Frances Martel writes a recap of the program, specifically pointing to the inappropriateness of McCain conjuring up the deceased Breitbart at a time like this.

Friday May 25, 2012: Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman, labeled as the site’s resident conservative, insists McCain is no victim. Rothman details all the Republicans McCain has publicly slashed: Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren for bringing Lindsay Lohan to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich, wife, Callista, and another GOP hopeful Rick Santorum to name a few.

Mediaite’s Frances Martel and Noah Rothman

At this point Mediaite‘s resident liberal and White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher takes to Twitter to defend Meghan, calling Noah’s piece “garbage.” Abrams chimes in, “Is it sadistic that I kind of love that @mediaite’s @tommyxtopher is taking on @mediaite’s @noah_c_rothman on twitter?” (Coming up: Abrams will report on his own apparently hilarious tweet.)

Saturday May 26, 2012: This was a big day. Meghan publishes a column in the Beast at 4:45 a.m. entitled “Cut it out Internet Bullies!” in which she emotes about the Republican Party treating her “like a freak.” The column was in response to her appearance on Sharpton’s show and details the many piercing insults she received which included “fat pig” and a suggestion that she kill herself with a cocktail of pills and booze.

By far the grandest part of the day arrives at 7:29 p.m. because that’s when Abrams of Dan Abrams’ Mediaite (oh, please don’t get mad at me for writing that!) decided to get all up in McCain’s well-moisturized face and tell her what’s what. Abrams, also well moisturized, was irate that McCain dared to refer to Mediaite as “Dan Abrams’ Mediaite” in her “Bullies” column. Whoa! How insulting. He insists anyone who’s anyone knows he doesn’t do jack for the site on a daily basis. In fact, his uninvolvement is palpable: “It’s well known that I do not edit the site,” he wrote, explaining that it’s insulting to his writers on his site to suggest as much. To exact revenge for her daring to give him ownership of his own site (that he owns), he said he purposely demeaned her by calling her “John McCain’s daughter Meghan.” Daughter of a Senator. Former Presidential hopeful. Tortured Vietnam vet. The horror. With Memorial Day coming up, this was, to say the least, touching. Abrams also provided a roundup of what happened so people reading this saga for the 5000th time could understand what was happening.

Monday May 28, 2012: By no means was the long weekend over. On Monday night at 7:26 p.m. we were treated to yet another roundup from Christopher, who challenged his boss, — um, Abrams? — by once again defending McCain. Headline: “McCain is not a ‘bully’ who ‘looks for fights.’” He also touches on Breitbart and declares that he’s 100 percent certain that if he was alive he would not have responded to McCain by calling her a “fat, clueless, whore.” We’re 100 percent certain Breitbart would’ve liked that line. Christopher’s piece takes on fairytale tones as he declares the young maiden McCain a “beautiful young woman” and calls that a “fact.” If nothing else in all this is clear, it’s this: Christopher will defend McCain to his dying day. Think sword fights and armor. Cannons. Buckets of PETA blood. Whatever it takes. Christopher, who likes to personalize his pieces, remarked that McCain’s body issues strike personal chords within him.  He doesn’t say what — and yes, are we dying to know, does it remind him of his once gangrene-laden liver? — but he says it’s especially personal to him.

“What makes this especially personal for me, though, and one of the reasons I’ve admired Meg since long before we became friends, is that the kind of attacks that Meg has had to endure also promote ideas about body image that are tangibly harmful to girls and young women. Meg’s defiance in the face of these assaults strikes a blow for them, and the example she sets is more valuable than any 10 cable news talking heads.”

And this concludes Mediaite‘s Memorial Day 2012. Now how about those trust exercises?

What is being done to care for the four children of conservative media mogul Andrew Breitbart?

During a memorial service for Breitbart in Washington last night, it was announced that a fund has been set up for this purpose.

Donations can be mailed to: Breitbart Children’s Trust, 149 S. Barrington Ave, #735, Los Angeles, CA 90049.

NationalReviewOnline‘s Jonah Goldberg announced it here.

With the recent passing of conservative media mogul Andrew Breitbart, the parent company has announced his replacements. Politico first reported the news this morning at the crack of dawn.

Breitbart News Network, LLC, which oversees Breitbart.com, reported today that the company’s Board of Directors has appointed Stephen Bannon (pictured at right) as Executive Chairman and Laurence Solov as Chief Executive Officer/President, effectively immediately.

Breitbart, the company’s founder, held these positions at the time of his unexpected passing on March 1st. Other positions: Joel Pollack will be Editor-in-Chief; Alexander Marlow will be Managing Editor and Ben Shapiro will be Editor-at-Large.

And they’re all impressively schooled. Bannon: Masters degrees from Georgetown and Harvard; Solov: Phi Beta Kappa, Stanford; Pollack: Harvard undergrad and graduate school; Marlow: UCLA-Berkley; Shapiro: Harvard Law School.

“Andrew and I were like brothers our whole lives and have been business partners since 2007,” said Solov.  “Steve was a great friend of Andrew’s and has been there the last several years helping us build Breitbart News.  Andrew possessed a very specific vision of what he wanted the company to become. Steve and I share that vision, which we will pursue relentlessly.”

Bannon is a former Naval Officer, serving aboard a destroyer with the Pacific Fleet and as a Special Assistant to the Chief of Naval Operations. He is also a former M&A investment banker at Goldman Sachs and a film writer/director. Bannon was most recently the Chairman/CEO of IMI Exchange.

Quotes of the Day

Whoa! Yglesias does what?!

“Additionally, he enjoys eating his own waste products and is said to have lost his virginity to his own father.” — Slate‘s Matt Yglesias tweets the sentence and provides a link to his Wikipedia page in what has been immense blowback to his gloating of Andrew Breitbart‘s death.

Travel woes

“Early morning flight to NYC meant 2 things. Exhaustion and stuck on the shuttle runway for 45 mins behind a big Trump airplane. #letsGo” — CNN Commentator and SKDKnickerbocker’s Hilary Rosen.

Are you there PETA? It’s me, Stossel

“I was awakened this morning by my cat when she threw up a hairball ON MY FACE. Someone get PETA over here before I do something I regret.” — Scott Stossel, Dep. Managing Editor, Atlantic Magazine, in a relatively recent tweet.

NPR journos weigh in on good writing

Michele Norris: “A well-written sentence has a certain cadence much like a tight musical score.” Southern U.S. Bureau Chief Russell Lewis: “Once you finish your story, read it out loud.”

Rep. Frank gets busted for breaking House Floor rules

“Rep. Frank (D-MA) had words taken down. Comments will be stricken from Congressional Record; can’t speak for remainder of day.” — Ric Anderson, U.S. House Press Gallery staffer. He explains that Frank “characterized Rep. Hensarling’s statements as ‘the most hypocritical and dishonest statement I have heard in this House.’”

Follower insults TWT reporter

“@KerryPicket sucks to be a biotch and work for WTimes. #OldSchool” — #pUNkBoyInSF to TWT‘s Kerry Picket, who retweeted the news. This comes on the heels of actor Alec Baldwin, who remarked on his hatred for TWT on Super Tuesday.

Editor notices disturbing bumper sticker

“Just saw an awesome bumper sticker, ‘I’ll pay for your contraception if you pay for my ammo.’ Deal?” — Townhall.com News Editor and writer Katie Pavlich.

Meanwhile, a Convo Between Two Journos

Today’s conversation is between ABC Entertainment Reporter Sheila Marikar and ABC News Political Director Amy Walter.

Marikar: “How do y’all feel about ‘meanwhile’ as a transition?”

Walter: “It’s a crutch that I lean on A LOT.”

Current TV’s David Shuster and the late Andrew Breitbart fought regularly on virtually every public platform there is. Even FBDC played host to a bitching match between the two in late February. Shuster called Breitbart “crazy.” Breitbart accused Shuster of lying and, even worse, bad reporting.

But on Saturday, the bad blood between them seemed to vanish as Shuster paid tribute to Breitbart on his radio show “Take Action News.” (We can’t help but imagine Breitbart ranting even at this. The pair rarely agreed on much of anything.) For nearly 15 minutes Shuster recounted the feisty, yet symbiotic, relationship he had with Breitbart. He said they related warmly off the air.

“He and I had our clashes, over the years,” Shuster said. “As much as I was sometimes so frustrated with Andrew, he had an incredible knack for attracting attention and bringing attention to his causes and to his beliefs.”

Shuster then played a clip from talk radio host Bill Press‘ show, in which Shuster had a heated exchange with Breitbart over the integrity (or lack thereof) of Breitbart’s media tactics.

“We also had some pretty amazing conversations off the air,” Shuster said after he played the clip. “Off the air, Andrew Breitbart and I talked about our families. We talked about members of our own family who were sick. He could not have been more supportive on those issues and kind and generous.”

Shuster said he is mourning Breitbart’s death and described him as “a hell of a guy.”

If you follow Slate’s Matt Yglesias on Twitter, you have seen his relentless tweets about his new book, “The Rent is Too Damn High.” It’s an e-book available online. As soon as it hit Amazon yesterday, Yglesias found himself facing the wrath of the legacy of Andrew Breitbart. On Thursday of last week, when Breitbart passed away, Yglesias tweeted “”Conventions around dead people are ridiculous. The world outlook is slightly improved with @AndrewBrietbart dead.” There was an uproar over his comments, but the anger seemed to cool off as we started a new week. But, not so fast. HuffPost reports that reviewers are leaving scathing reviews of the book. Here are some of our favorite quotes:

- Same ol’ same ol’. Please for the love of your god, get some new material.

- The world outlook is slightly improved with giving this book 1 star.

- If you purchase this book, you’ll be putting money in the pocked of a ghoul who revels in the deaths of people he disagrees with politically. Of course, if this is your intention, you’re no better than he.

- I’m sure Matty meant well, but unless you want to read a frustrated, confused teenager’s journal about his latent homosexuality, I’d go ahead and skip this drivel.

- None of Matt Yglesias’ opponents would be glad if he died.

- Andrew Breitbart passed away leaving a wife and 4 small children. You said “The world outlook is slightly improved with @AndrewBrietbart [sic] dead.”
Very nicely done. I’m sure Andrew’s wife and kids are consoled by your concern.

So it seems that even in death, Breitbart still throws a mean punch… Read more