Armstrong Williams - FishbowlDC

Armstrong Williams Sperms up Holiday Column

Betsy Rothstein — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 10:52:43 +0000

Armstrong Williams, the conservative scion of Fox News’ liberal pundit, Juan Williams, wrote a doozy of a Thanksgiving Day entry for The Hill newspaper’s pundits blog. (Somehow we missed this at the time, and our deepest apologies for that. We can hardly wait for his Christmas column — and please Armstrong, you must write one.) The piece starts out innocent enough, bringing up the “global economic landscape.” Granted, you know this thing is going to be all sorts of crazy as he mentions “chilly winds” and “threadbare garments” that are “fraying.” Later he warns conservatives against losing hope and thinking of themselves as “dry and dusty bones.”

The hilarious headline that The Hill slapped on this beauty? “At Thanksgiving, embracing the winds of change and increasing our faith.”

But paragraph five is where things get really weird. This is when he goes into serious depth about the fate of sperm and the complicated struggle for a life to be born (at least we think that’s what he’s saying.) Note to middle school teachers: Perhaps Armstrong is not your best option if you need a guest lecturer for a sex-ed class.

“A single sperm cell, swimming along a foreign and hostile canal, pushes past the strewn corpses of millions of its fellow sojourners, to finally arrive at the ultimate prize: an unfertilized egg. Upon meeting the egg, a miraculous process ensues. The two cells combine and become instantly productive. They divide and multiply, and, in a matter of mere months, grow out of that singular union a complex and living being composed of hundreds of millions of cells.”

Armstrong concludes with these two final perfectly wacky lines: “Most of us have no memory of the shock and loss we experienced when we were evicted from the warm comfort of the womb to face the glaring sun for the first time. But out of such shock and awe springs life, and for that miracle alone we must give thanks and praise.”

In other words, Happy Thanksgiving!

Read Armstrong’s poetic words here.

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Sunday Show Preview

Christine — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:01:08 +0000

• NBC’s Meet the Press: Former President Bill Clinton, NY Governor David Paterson (D), Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) and Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA)

• CBS’ Face the Nation: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

• ABC’s This Week: Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and a roundtable with WaPo‘s Bob Woodward, NYT‘s Tom Friedman, ABC’s Martha Raddatz and ABC’s and columnist George Will

• Fox News Sunday: Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO), Virginia Gubernatorial candidate Bob McDonnell (R), filmmaker James O’Keefe and a panel with Fox News analysts former White House press secretary Dana Perino, NPR’s Mara Liasson, syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer and NPR’s Juan Williams

• CNN’s State of the Union: Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN) and CNN’s Mary Matalin and James Carville

• CNN’s Reliable Sources with Howard Kurtz:
“The View” and HLN’s Joy Behar, CNN’s Ed Henry, Bloomberg’s Margaret Carlson, WaPo‘s Kathleen Parker, USA Today Live’s Lauren Ashburn

• CNN’s GPS with Fareed Zakaria: Libyan Leader Moammar Gadhafi

• NBC’s The Chris Matthews Show: CNBC’s Trish Regan, Time‘s Richard Stengel, NYT‘s Andrew Ross Sorkin and WaPo‘s Kathleen Parker

• Washington Week with Gwen Ifill and National Journal: LAT‘s Doyle McManus, Time‘s Karen Tumulty, McClatchy News’ Nancy Youssef and Politico‘s John Harris

• Bloomberg’s Political Capital with Al Hunt: Presidential adviser John Podesta

• Washington Watch with Roland Martin: Vice President Joe Biden, Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC) and a panel with WaPo‘s Kevin Merida, syndicated columnist and author Deborah Mathis, American Urban Radio Networks’ April Ryan, Comcast Network Washingtong bureau chief and Philadelphia Tribune columnist Robert Traynham, TWT‘s Armstrong Williams and Interactive one’s Smokey Fontaine

• CNN’s Amanpour: President of Afghanistan Hamid Karzai, U.S. Special Representative Richard Holbrooke, Pakistani Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi, NATO Secretary-General Anders Fogh Rasmussen and President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe

Will update as we learn them.

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Morning Reading List, 10.22.07

Patrick — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 08:55:43 +0000

Good morning Washington.

The White House bids farewell to Josh Deckard.

A NBC release announced, “‘Meet the Press,’ the longest running television show in the world, reached a programming milestone, airing its 3,000th broadcast last Sunday, October 14. In addition, according to Nielsen Media Research data, ‘Meet the Press’ topped the competition on Sunday, winning in all categories across the
country and in Washington D.C.”

Deb Howell’s weekly column. Clark Hoyt’s too.

An ABC release announced, “According to Nielsen Media Research for Sunday October 14, ABC News ‘This Week with George Stephanopoulos’ beat CBS’ ‘Face the Nation’ among Total Viewers for the fifth straight week. This marks the sixth time in seven weeks ‘This Week’ outperformed ‘Face the Nation’ among Total Viewers. ‘This Week’ is also the only Sunday discussion program up year-to-date (4%) among Total Viewers.”

PEJ Talk Show Index for Oct. 7-12 shows, “The debut of Fred Thompson as a GOP debater helped make last week the second-biggest week of the year in the talk show universe for the 2008 presidential campaign. But so did a talk brouhaha over a more tangential topic involving the debate.”

Herald Sun reports, “Speaking at News Corp’s annual meeting of stockholders in New York, Mr. Murdoch, said the global media giant’s proven track record spoke for itself. ‘Revenues have grown an average of 14 percent a year over the past five years and operating income is up 14 percent a year on average over the past four years,’ he said.”

Food Service Monthly has started a blog! Check it out.

PBC announced that “White House Chronicle” now airs on the Washington-Baltimore area’s three major PBS affiliates: WHUT-TV, Channel 32, WETA-TV, Channel 26, and WMPT-TV, Channel 22. Also, XM Satellite Radio will air “White House Chronicle” on P.O.T.U.S. â€™08 (Channel 130) every Saturday, beginning Oct. 12.

New York Times reports, “Media companies are often criticized for not taking enough risks in choosing television shows, authors, movies and musicians. But when it comes to technology start-ups, their appetite for risk appears to be on the rise.”

InternetNews.com reports, “Leading Internet and media companies teamed up … to set ground rules for dealing with copyright infringement in videos uploaded to user-generated content Web sites — and demanding stronger efforts on the part of content hosts.”

Reuters reports, “U.S. communications regulators cited conservative commentator Armstrong Williams on Thursday for violating a ban on ‘payola’ in promoting the Bush administration’s education plan.”

USA Today reports, “Google’s third-quarter revenue jumped 57%, but a hiring binge and product speculation left Wall Street wondering what the search giant wasn’t revealing.”

A reader tells us that NBC4 anchor Wendy Rieger. said her weekly Going Green reports on NBC4 (Tuesdays at 5:00pm) and has been picked up on by New York folks and “mandated that all NBC affiliates show her reports or take up the cause on their own. Even Brian Williams started his own Going Green segment on Nightly News, mainly from what Wendy started here. Way to go!”

Rieger is also hosting a gay-youth assistance fundraiser, SMYAL, on November 4. Click here for more details.

AP reports, “To test claims by users that Comcast Corp. was blocking some forms of file-sharing traffic, The Associated Press went to the Bible. An AP reporter attempted to download, using file-sharing program BitTorrent, a copy of the King James Bible from two computers in the Philadelphia and San Francisco areas, both of which were connected to the Internet through Comcast cable modems. We picked the Bible for the test because it’s not protected by copyright and the file is a convenient size. In two out of three tries, the transfer was blocked.” Also, the AP reports, “Comcast Corp. actively interferes with attempts by some of its high- speed Internet subscribers to share files online, a move that runs counter to the tradition of treating all types of Net traffic equally.”

From Wonkette: “Flipping though an advanced copy of Gonzo: The Life of Hunter S. Thompson, one item popped off the page. Apparently, Thompson used to date Sally Quinn of The Washington Post: ‘He was always pumping me,’ she says of the late journalist’s thirst for Washington gossip.”

Find out why his Extreme-ness calls Campaigns & Elections Magazine’s Walter Alarkon “The Best Political Reporter Today.”

Roll Call is holding an Adjournment Contest! “Guess, to the minute, the exact date and time that the second chamber of Congress will adjourn sine die for the first session of the 110th Congress. The person who comes closest to the actual time wins. If there is a tie, Roll Call will hold a drawing to determine the winner.” The winner gets a $500 gift certificate to Fogo de ChÃ£o. Email your entry to contest@rollcall.com by 5 p.m. Oct. 26.

CQ wants to know what you think about CQPolitics.

A reader writes in, “perhaps Facebook is more trouble than it’s worth — it’s just another vehicle for self-important journos who are more about capped teeth than reporting…”

Politico’s Ken Vogel reports, “Colbert ‘run’ risks breaking law”

Lloyd Grove interviews Donnie Deutsch for Portfolio.com, “and gets the adman and CNBC host to address the Ann Coulter interview, his show as a vehicle to pick up women, future marriage and the Fox Business Network.”

A reader writes in: “It would be great if Stu Rothenberg started speaking in the third person. George is getting upset!”

The Hollywood Reporter reports, “Comedy Central is getting more of Jon Stewart. The network said late Thursday that it has signed an extension with the ‘Daily Show’ host that will keep him around until at least 2010. Stewart’s contract would have expired at the end of 2008.”

Mixed Media reports, “Tony Snow, the Fox News host-turned White House spokesman-turned unemployed guy, has signed on to be the keynote speaker at this year’s American Magazine Conference. Larry Hackett, managing editor of People, will conduct a Q&A with him. The conversation will be on the record — a good thing, since an attempt three years ago to keep Bill Clinton’s AMC remarks from leaving the room was contemptuously ignored by journalists in attendance. A spokeswoman for the Magazine Publishers of America declined to say if Snow — who left his job as White House spokesman saying he needed to make more money would be paid for the appearance.”

Bloomberg reports, “Dean Singleton’s MediaNews Group Inc., the largest closely held U.S. newspaper publisher, plans to triple sales from its Internet sites by 2012.”

B&C reports, “The Federal Communications Commission issued its first fines for a station airing Armstrong Williams’ Department of Education-paid-for plugs for its ‘No Child Left Behind’ initiative. Station-owner Sinclair Broadcast Group doesn’t plan to pay the fine and said it will take the commission to court.”

To clarify, Major Garrett is currently the Chief Congressional Correspondent for FNC, but he was on the trail for the 2004 Presidential race and the 2006 mid-term elections.. he is not new to the campaign trail and has experience on the road covering the beat in previous elections.

Check out Mixed Media’s critique of Newsweek’s new design.

Mark your calendars! The Washington Blogger November Meetup is Wednesday, November 14, 2007 at 7:00 PM at RFD. Click here for full details.

Michael Getler, the PBS Ombudsman, writes, “Frontline, the outstanding (my opinion as well as that of many others) documentary series marked the beginning of its 25th season this week with another look into the often-closed world in which Vice-President Dick Cheney operates. The hour-long debut on Tuesday evening, Oct. 16, was titled ‘Cheney’s Law.’ It was produced by Michael Kirk, who could reasonably be labeled Minister of the Interior for his efforts, over the past six years, in turning out ten Frontline programs that, in one way or another, probed those activities of the Bush administrationâ€”whether one agrees with them or notâ€”that have largely developed and been carried on out of public view.”

E&P reports, “Although Washington Post Radio was dropped last month after an unsuccessful 18-month run, the paper is still dealing with the fallout. A Newspaper Guild complaint that newsroom staffers had to perform extra work on the broadcast outlet has sparked a National Labor Relations Board hearing set for next week.”

National Journal’s William Powers writes, “Some good news about the media has actually been making headlines. When was the last time that happened? 1974? The bombshell is ProPublica, a brand-new investigative journalism outfit to be launched in January by one of the most respected figures in the newspaper business, longtime Wall Street Journal Managing Editor Paul Steiger.”

This week’s TV Q&A from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Rob Owen “responds to questions about ads on WPXI, Jerry Seinfeld’s ‘Bee Movie’ minisodes on NBC and HBO’s ‘Five Days.’”

A release announced, “Inspired by Lions For Lambs (starring Robert Redford, Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise), MGM and YOUTUBE have extended the opportunity to submit videos to Youtube in order to win $25,000 for a charity of the winner’s choice. Participants have until October 24th to submit a 90 second video explaining thoughts on key issues and causes in today’s world.” For more info, click here.

Jobs

Thompson Publishing Group is looking for an Editor/Writer.

The Cecil Whig is looking for a Web-savvy copy editor.

The Virginian-Pilot is looking for a Business Reporter.

Jamestown Foundation is looking for a Publications Coordinator.

The Frederick News Post is looking for a Copy Editor.

FDCH is looking for an In-House News Transcriber.

The Associated Press is looking for a Satellite Coordinator.

Migration Policy Institute is looking for a Director of Communications.

Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System is looking for a Technical Editor.

The Advisory Board Company is looking for an entry level writer.

Exchange Monitor Publications, Inc. is looking for Reporters.

The Current Newspapers is looking for a full-time reporter.

The Associated Press is looking for a Systems Engineer

National Public Radio is looking for a Supervising Senior Producer, Weekend Edition, Sunday and an Assistant Editor, Digital Media News.

Hat Tips: DCRTV, TVNewser, IWantMedia, Romenesko, MediaBistro, JournalismJobs, JournalismNext

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Separated At Birth: John Yang

Patrick — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 14:54:48 +0000

NBC’s John Yang is this week’s Separated at Birth.

According to MyHeritage.com’s nifty face recognition database:

Yang…

(Photo Credit)

…looks like, Eminem?

Aretha Franklin?

And, Alicia Keys?

Did you miss our earlier Separateds? Or just want to see them again? Check out Armstrong Williams, Howard Kurtz, Tony Kornheiser, John Harris, Len Downie, David Corn, Bob Woodward, Jeff Zeleny, John McCaslin, John Hendren, Lesley Lopez, Elizabeth Shogren, Norah O’Donnell, Chris Matthews, Tim Russert, Brit Hume, Wolf Blitzer and David Gregory

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Separated At Birth: Armstrong Williams

Patrick — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 13:55:47 +0000

Armstrong Williams is this week’s Separated at Birth.

According to MyHeritage.com’s nifty face recognition database:

Williams…

(AP Photo)

…looks like, Spike Lee?

Harry Truman?

And, thanks to a reader’s keen eye, Bob Barr?

(Photo Credit)

Did you miss our earlier Separateds? Or just want to see them again? Check out Howard Kurtz, Tony Kornheiser, John Harris, Len Downie, David Corn, Bob Woodward, Jeff Zeleny, John McCaslin, John Hendren, Lesley Lopez, Elizabeth Shogren, Norah O’Donnell, Chris Matthews, Tim Russert, Brit Hume, Wolf Blitzer and David Gregory

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.