The Media Critic

“Tonight I will officially be able to tweet, “Awww, crap. Did Bikram Yoga thru All In with Chris Hayes!” – Brian Beutler

 The Traffic Cop

“If you’re looking to drive anywhere in our great city today, know that many traffic lights on constitution and independence aren’t working.” – Politico’s Jake Sherman

Speaking of Jam Bands

“Want to see a clip of John Fogerty jamming with Clarence Clemons, Jerry Garcia & B Weir?” – Politico’s Jonathan Martin, who linked to a video that we did not click.

The New Guy

“good idea: giving @dcbigjohn the job of catching it when ppl fuck up. bad idea: being the person that fucked up.” – Buzzfeed’s Evan McMorris-Santoro catches heat from Bureau Chief John Stanton.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

1. Enter Ezra the bad Jew. We’re not sure what kind of a Jew Ezra Klein is, but he’s far from traditional. So much so, that it wouldn’t surprise us to learn that he eats shellfish with a side of pork and a glass of milk. For starters, he gives the reporter, Julia Ioffe, a prosciutto sandwich as a peace offering at one of their early meetings. “I have a little spiel I do at this,” he tells her on the way to a speaking engagement at Northern Virgina Community College. And this is the most Yiddish he’ll use in the entire profile. The prosciutto sandwich? Hardly a Jew-y choice, but Ezra has a wonky explanation involving a study that says more judges offer parole once they’ve eaten. So Ez figures she’ll go easier on him if she has some non-kosher food in her stomach. Another non-Jew detail about Ezra: In high school he graduated with a 2.2 GPA (a shameful admission to smart Jews everywhere). Turns out, Ez got into college by the skin of his teeth — University of California-Santa Cruz was the only institution that would let him in. Ioffe described the talk Ezra gave at the community college as reminiscent to a “schticky Bar Mitzvah speech.” What? In our forced vast experience with Bar Mitzvah attendance, there are never “speeches.” Just performances known as “haftorah portions” in which the boy or girl reads from the Torah. We only hope Ezra sang his and that there’s video lurking in his mother’s basement. Finally, Ezra loves Christmas. Whoa! What?

2. Friend-sourcing. For all of Ezzy’s angst about the profile, the sources are painfully tame. The author relies repeatedly on Ezra’s fellow Boybanders for expertise. In a true, believable profile, you get skewered and praised. All your questionable acts arise — his infamous and now defunct Journolist, briefing Senate Democratic Chiefs of Staff about the Supercommittee just days before the Committee announced its failing, and once writing of Tim Russert, “fuck tim russert. fuck him with a spiky acid-tipped dick.”  What, the author of the profile can’t even press him to explain this? The only act she mentions is what he wrote about Russert and then doesn’t bother to ask him about it. No, here we get the usuals — Slate‘s Dave Weigel and Matt Yglesias and TPM‘s Brian Beutler — all his nerdy pals saying typical, boring stuff. Which would be fine, if she found a few people who happen to think he’s pontificates way more than he reports or that he’s more of a Democratic policy advisor than a journalist — and there are plenty of journalists in Washington who share this point of view. But nope, in her profile, they don’t exist. The boys verify that Ezra is wound a little tight — in fact, Weigel rolls through his weird memory of dinner parties and can’t recall a single instance in which he ever saw Ezra drunk. Yawn.

3. Ezra’s angst. By far, the most interesting part of the story comes when the author continuously goes into exquisite detail about the internal angst Ezra feels about having a profile written about him in the first place. Before he agreed to it, he met with the author to discuss what the piece would entail. He wrestles with all of it and doesn’t seem to know what tactic to take with Ioffe. Does he open up? Does he expose his discomfort? Does he lay down the law? Does he compliment her, befriend her, cuss with her, scold her and ultimately invite her to his favorite Chinese haunt to finally at least pretend to let her see the real him? In the end, Ezra does all of the above. But our all-time favorite part of the piece is when Ioffe’s hanging out in the “Wonkpod” of The Washington Post — i.e. the nerdy nerve center for Ezzy’s five-person operation. As she scrutinizes his every move — how he sits, his constantly bouncy knee, how he types — he gets all tight-ass on her and instructs her “sternly” that she’s not to print any of the emails on his screen.

An excerpt:

“I was not to speak to his family or to his wife. Before I arrived at the Wonkpod, he sent me an e-mail warning me that the Post bigwigs prohibited me from talking to anyone in the newsroom. At one point, he turned around and said, ‘Can you see my screen?’ ‘My e-mails,’ he added sternly, ‘are off the record.’ So were his phone conversations and the names of the people he spoke to throughout the day. He was also worried about revealing the name of an economist at a conservative think tank he considers to be ‘an intense thinker,’ his habit of watching ‘Battlestar Gal- lactica’ in the evenings, as well as his love of Christmas.”

Photograph above by Spencer Heyfron for TNR.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

PRINCE JASPER: “Dana Perino, good to see that Jasper was cleared of those stuffed animal murder charges” — FiveFanPhotoshops, the ultimate fan of FNC’s “The Five”, which photoshops members of “The Five” into all sorts of situations, including Jasper, the beloved dog of host Dana Perino.

HuffPost headline elicits reaction from HuffPost writer

“Nice job with the headlines, HuffPost: ‘Rough Day For Naked Pooping Masturbator’” — HuffPost‘s Christina Wilkie. She links to the story here.

Journo hits new high watching CSPAN 3

“Sign of the times: CSPAN 3 on cable is flickering, dropping. On computer? Working fine, and ahead of TV.” — Yahoo! News‘ Olivier Knox.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer on women in combat: “Women are going to go into combat w/US forces. Since I was sniper in Haganah (Israeli freedom fighters) I’m all for that.”

In defense of Beyoncé

“Are any of the people being OUTRAGED about Beyonce lip-syncing considering this important fact: SHE’S FUCKING BEYONCE?” — The Sunday Times’ outspoken columnist Caitlin Moran.

Furry hats abound in Washington

“It’s finally cold enough to wear the furry hat. I’m sad it’s finally warm enough to wear the furry hat.” — Kelly Ann Collins, marketing strategist.

“The temperature is now lower than the ages of both my children. It’s cold. I’m old.” — WaPo Bookworld’s Ron Charles.

Oh no he didn’t! Nolte insults Cokie

“What’s ET doing on Morning Joe? Oh, that’s Cokie Roberts.” — Breitbart.com Editor John Nolte regarding longtime NPR correspondent Cokie Roberts.

NYT’s communications assistant has an amusing observation and two journos agree Sunday shows ought to go… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Say hello to Benjy Sarlin, who covers politics for Talking Points Memo, where he is readjusting to life after the 2012 election.

His colleague, Evan McMorris-Santoro, says this about Benjy: “Benjy is a Twitter virtuoso. He needs to stop making me look bad by being so good at hashtagery.” But another colleague, Igor Bobic, jokes on Twitter that he’s a “total dick.” (At least we think he’s kidding.)

Previously Benjy reported on national politics for The Daily Beast, where he was Washington correspondent. Born and raised in New York City, he covered city politics for the New York Sun until its untimely death (though, it’s still in shambles with the occasional zombie editorial). To be truthful, we’re still don’t think we’ve gotten to the core of Benjy Sarlin. But we do know a lot of seemingly useless details.  He has an unhealthy attachment to barbecue and Twitter. “Twitter is like my Kryptonite, both the source of my reporting strength and its biggest weakness,” he tells me in an email exchange. “I get annoyed when I see stupid stuff floating around and if you’ve seen something silly pop up in one person’s feed, you’re about to see it everywhere, only worse. It’s fun engaging with people over these little dust ups, but I think I’m irrationally invested.” On the subject of astrology: “I don’t believe in astrology, but I’m willing to be convinced if Nate Silver posts some kind of chart.” Strange hobbies: He insists he is an accomplished juggler. Fine dining: He wants to dine with George Washington (if he could, that is).

Perhaps one of those most interesting things about Benjy is his name and its weird spelling. “My name is almost uniformly misspelled thanks mostly to those dog movies in the 1980s, even by friends and family,” he explains. “‘Benjy’ was the name of my dad’s closest childhood friend, so that’s how I ended up with the particular spelling. My folks are Jewish and you’re not supposed to name someone after a living person, but at the time I was born the original Benjy was in the Hare Krishne and had changed his name to — I believe — Paramananda Das. Since then, he’s left the Hare Krishne and gone back to his old name, so I’m actually not sure if it’s kosher for me to stick with Benjy. Maybe I’ll change my byline to Paramananda Sarlin?”

If you were a carbonated beverage, which would you be? 

I’d like to think of myself as pre-Schumer Four Loko, but I’m really not hardcore enough to justify it. Let’s go with root beer.

How often do you Google yourself? 

Phsaw, I got alerts for that.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to an editor/boss (or vice versa)?

My first day as an intern out of college, my only task was to set up a device to record a phone interview between an editor and Joe Wilson. I blew it and the whole thing was lost. To the editor it was probably the most minor daily annoyance, but to me I had just screwed up the only real world task I’d ever been assigned about as badly as possible. I was all nerves for a week after that.

Who is your favorite working journalist and why? 

Present TPM company excluded (and really, they are the best), I’m a big fan of Molly Ball at The Atlantic. It’s hard to find good campaign reporting that has a broad national scope but also involves talking to actual voters and she’s amazing at tying the two together. Voters have interesting things to say, really!

Do you have a favorite word? 

“Gluttony” is an incredible feat of English language. Say it out loud — gluttony. It sounds exactly like what it means. Aliens could land tomorrow and understand “gluttony” the first time they heard it.

Who would you rather have dinner with – CNN’s Candy Crowley, ABC’s Martha Raddatz or Fox News’ Megyn Kelly? Tell us why.

Funny enough, I was on the same plane as Candy Crowley on the way back from the final presidential debate last month. We had a coffee while we waited to board and she could not be nicer. I’d just spent the last week talking to Republicans in Florida who were incensed over her mid-debate Benghazi fact check and passed on a couple of choice quotes. I was extremely impressed with the way she handled both the debate itself and the backlash afterwards. She took the complaints against her seriously enough to defend her performance but she had enough perspective to not make herself the story and enough wisdom to know everyone would just move on to the next outrage in a few days time. Which is a long way of saying that I’d be glad to get dinner.

Much more on Benjy after the jump…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Someone wrote me an email and said they thought the Secret Service was going to intervene.” — Politico‘s Mike Allen early this morning on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”

By Far, Funniest Reaction of the Night

“Mitt shot his whole wad in the first debate.” — D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton. Whoa, Eleanor, HUH?! WaPo‘s Mike DeBonis tried to come to her defense, saying, “To defend Eleanor Norton a bit, she’s an aficionado of antique muzzle loading firearms. I hope.”

Sweet and Sour Reaction to Candy

“Candy Crowley holding the reins tight tonight…no shenanigans in her house.” — NBC’s and E!’s Ryan Seacrest.

“Best & worst moment of debate was Candy correcting Romney – she was right, but I’m not sure she should have inserted herself in that way.” — Roll Call‘s Emily Pierce.

“Righties already trying to make this about the Qs and moderator.” — Politico‘s SENIOR political reporter Jonathan Martin in what may be his first understandable tweet in awhile. Congrats JMart!

“I’m terribly disappointed in Candy. I defended her today, and I was wrong.” — Houston Chronicle political blogger and Newsbusters’ Kathleen McKinley.

“Ok Candy, you better facilitate, not follow-up!” — Conservative blogger Matt Mackowiack.

“Candy Crowley proved why these media fact checkers are toxic liars.” — Breitbart.com’s John Nolte.

“(I worked with Candy Crowley at CNN and think she’s terrific)” — CBS News investigative journo Sharyl Attkisson.

“A lot of anger on the Twitters at Crowley for challenging Mitt. You see, that isn’t supposed to happen.” — WaPo lefty blogger Greg Sargent.

“I must say that if you aren’t drinking some Jack Daniels during this debate you really are missing something.” — Roll Call Columnist and Political Analyst Stuart Rothenberg.

“Who won the debate tonight? Candy Crowley. She knew her facts and made sure she pointed them out to her opponents. She’s got my vote.” — Author Jonathan Krohn.

Debate Recap: Top Quotes

“If Sec. Clinton is responsible for the security failure in Benghazi, who is responsible for 8 days of of b.s.about what happened that day?” — FNC’s Brit Hume.

“As a woman voter, I feel very wanted tonight!” — ABC talk show host Katie Couric.

“OMG. Panelist on FOX News just said ‘BULLSHIT!’” — ABC7′s Mike Conneen.

“I was filing during that Libya exchange, but holy living fuck.” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

“Candy Crowley halts Romney in his tracks, calling him out live in real time on an incorrect Libya statement.” — NYT‘s Ashley Parker.

“I’m excitable – but politics is about emotion as well as reason. My view is Obama halted Mitt’s momentum in its tracks.” — The Daily Beast‘s Andrew Sullivan.

“Watching the @politicolive show again on dc newschannell 8. Forget how fun it was to watch, albeit kind of a train wreck.” — QGA and longtime Senate flack Jim Manley.

“The town hall debate format makes me feel bad about the human condition, like that “What Would You Do” hidden camera show. #sighbinder” — Digital media exec Kenny Day.

“Bottom line: Obama was far more aggressive this time, these 2 men don’t like each other and this race is still a toss-up.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

“No one puts baby in a binder.” — National Journal‘s Chris Frates.

“Ok, goodnight everyone. tucking myself into my binder for some shuteye.” — AtlanticWire Senior Writer Jen Doll.

“Chris Matthews is wetting his pants in joy, gibbering like a meth freak on laughing gas.” — Conservative blogger and former TWTer Robert Stacy McCain.

“Bottom bottom line: Obama shows up big timme and wins. Is it enough to reverse the polarities?” — HuffPost‘s Howard Fineman.

“MSNBC fawning. Fox News fuming. A pox on both your houses.” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak.

“Love switching channels. MSNBC says clr Obama win, CNN, eh, slight Obama edge. Fox still talking about Benghazi.” — NYT‘s Jonathan Weisman.

“Did Van Jones just call Mitt Romney a ‘DOUCHE’ on CNN – @CNNSituationRoom? Wow, didn’t think that was permitted.” — former Eric Cantor Spokesman Brad Dayspring, who now works as senior adviser to the YG Action Fund.

Greta sees hot pink and blue

“Yes, it is true…both wives in a hot pink (or at least on my monitor it looks like hot pink but faces can be bluish on my tv monitor)” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren.

Important Q to Ponder: “Do I have time to make pierogies before this debate? Yes, yes I do!” — The Washington Examiner‘s Nikki Schwab.

Something else to Ponder: “How, in a country as powerful and dynamic as ours, could bindersfullofwomen.com not already be taken?” — WSJ‘s Neil King.

The Observer

“You keep it crazy, Bobby Jindal.” — Ronan Farrow, son of Mia and Woody Allen, reacting to post debate interviews from Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal. Farrow is a writer, human rights lawyer and formerly Sec. of State Hillary Clinton‘s Special Adviser for Global Youth issues.

And another journo eats chicken…

“Chicken in pot, my debate night tradition. Thanks, Herbert Hoover!” — blogger and pundit Craig Crawford. Anonymous writes in, “That’s a sweet tradition, but his shicken looks like a dog’s dinner.”

Good rap quote from whitest guy in Washington

“Mystikal: That’s right my meat and potatoes come from my lyrical label I throw my rhymes for No Limit like Jeff George throw for the Raiders” — NBC’s Luke Russert.

Ouch!

“Joe Scarborough will suck-up to a guest, then trash-talk them 24 hours later. Tells you all you need to know…#MSNBCfail” — The Daily Caller TV Reporter Jeff Poor.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

CNN Producer for Piers Morgan Tonight Brad Parks: “Passing time between live shots at the CNN Grill photo booth.”

Mrs. Ralph Reed to Convention Security: Lighten up!

“When I lived in Iran growing up & we were under martial law…security was not as bad as it is at the @GOPconvention!!! Geez…lighten up!!” — Jo Anne Reed, wife of Ralph Reed.

Taxicab Confessions: Tampa 

“My cabbie in Tampa is singing along to ‘Do That To Me One More Time’ while we sit in traffic. Kinda awkward.” — The Hill‘s Howeesha Kurtz, a.k.a. Judy Kurtz.

Uh oh. Is HuffPost‘s Arthur Delaney okay? “I’m drunk and lonely.” — HuffPost‘s Arthur Delaney. Labor journo for InTheseTimes.com Mike Elk replied, “Call me maybe?” HuffPost‘s Amanda Terkel apparently borrowed stole Delaney’s gadget and tweeted the following:  “At a wings place in a Ramada, next to a strip club. Take that, fancy parties.”

Journo gives lip to TODAY Show

“Shut up Today Show.” — The Hill‘s Alexandra Jaffe to the TODAY Show. On Monday, TODAY ran a segment on mirror fasts. This means, as they explain it, “foregoing looking at yourself in the mirror for a week, a month, even a year.”

Reporter Starstruck by NBC’s David Gregory

“Just walked by @davidgregory. #StarStruck Saw that dude on TV yesterday morning.#GOP2012” — D.C. Correspondent for MedPageToday.com David Pittman, who clearly needs to have his head examined. Psst….Pittman, Gregory is not a celebrity. MedPage Today provides medical news for clinician. Is there a clinician in the house?

Questions to Ponder: “When ratings show people tuning out of politics at record levels, why do cable channels think 24-7 convention coverage is a good idea?” — Salon‘s David Sirota. And from Columbia J School’s Emily Bell: “Given there are a lot of journalists covering the #RNC who is actually producing interesting coverage? (serious question)”

Convo Between Actor Rob Lowe and CNN’s Piers Morgan

Lowe: “What does it mean, if anything, that the Fox News crawl is so much slower than CNN?”

Morgan: “Means we’re quicker, smarter.”

Ouch! “Hey @JoeNBC: Any time you want to man up and take control of your own show would be nice. #Coward” — Breitbart.com editor John Nolte, showing that it’s not just the MSM that gets whacked by the conservative media outlet.

HuffPost Howard Fineman‘s admission: “I rarely if ever get in shouting matches on TV but did on @hardball_chris just now with former GOP chm Steele about the Romney welfare ad.”

How to Win Friends and Influence People at the RNC: “Convention Coverage Rule #2115: Condescend to other reporters by not admitting to having read ‘their take’ from last night.” — Politico‘s Patrick Gavin.

How to irk Politico‘s Ben White: “Whiny Tweets complaining about too many journalists covering too little news in Tampa are not wrong, they are just boring.” He later added, “How do Floridians and other swing-staters tolerate all these political ads? I’d throw my TV out the window.”

Boybander Revelations…“Thing I learned today: Reince Priebus reads the sarcastic things you write about him.” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel. And from TPM‘s Brian Beutler: “I wish politicians really would speak in dog whistles so I’d be incapable of hearing their garbage.”

Public Admiration Society: “Great line from @RonBrownstein: ‘Very patriotic convention — the floor is red, the seats are blue, and the delegates are white.’” — The New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza quoting National Journal‘s Ron Brownstein.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“ENGAGED! My beautiful bride to be @augstums, and me, in Aspen.” — Todd Harris, media consultant and GOP political strategist.

The Observer: Did Rich Lowry have a manicure?

“Anyone else disturbed by Rich Lowry’s nails? You think they’re always that done or did he just gussy them up for #MeetThePress?” — Miss Spot.

Self-appointed media critics

“That was the interview? Well, at least Breaking Bad is on tonight.” — WSJ‘s Neil King.

“Takeaway from 60 Minutes interview: Romney and Ryan have a clear rapport with one another. Romney less antsy than during other interviews.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

“The 60 Minutes interview with Romney/Ryan: Bromancing the White House.” — Syndicated op-ed columnist and Editor-in-Chief of Soapblox Tina Dupuy.

“One major problem is that Paul Ryan speaks so f—ing fast, tough to transcribe.” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein.

“Just For Men has apparently perfected robotic hair color#Watching60MinutesAds #PiningforTivodelay” — TPM‘s Evan McMorris-Santoro.

Coming to his rescue…

“Haha, @RichLowry totally nailed @maddow on her answer. Don’t know why she pretends to be an innocent bystander in politics.” — WMAL Exec. Producer Heather Smith.

But wait, not so fast…

“If Rachel Maddow broke Rich Lowry’s nose right now, that would be the best thing NBC has aired in months.” — Chuck Sudo, a Chicago viewer.

Mom’s verbiage makes editor uncomfortable

“My mother is referring to her flip-flops as ‘thongs.’ This makes me uncomfortable.” — HuffPost Deputy Editor Erin Ruberry.

Journo gets drunk

“Haven’t had this much to drink in a long time. My brain feels fuzzy and that feeling is awesome.” — WaPo page designer Tim Wong.

And another is on his way…

“Vacation cocktail #1″ — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

Hungover Boybander sure loves his band mates

“I’m hungover in coffee shop so you’ll have to Google the links but@ezraklein & @daveweigel wrote excellent pieces on politics of Ryan pick.” — Wired.com’s Spencer Ackerman.

A date to remember

“Me and my baby boo @THERealLyndaDC enjoying a hot date@FSWashington with each other!” — Paul Wharton Style’s Paul Wharton and ex-Real Housewives of Washington star Lynda Erkletian.

Romney VP news added work for journos

“I know I said I was sleeping in today but how abt a lil Romney veep pick special w/ @wolfblitzer instead?” — CNN’s Brianna Keilar.

Reporter’s aunt was confused

“One of my liberal aunts went to a Ryan town hall last year. Left there wanting Ryan as Obama’s VP.” — The Weekly Standard‘s John McCormack.

Enthusiasm is…

“Cannot succinctly explain the adrenaline rush and stress of producing four hours of breaking news coverage. Or maybe I can: Awesome. #CNN” — Jeff Simon, Assoc. Producer for “State of the Union” With Candy Crowley. We don’t want to worry about Simon too much, but later on in the weekend, he added, “Entering delirium. I feel like I was deep in REM and someone called me and asked me to explain quantum mechanics. Need to snap out of it.”

Uh oh.

“And now I hear I am selling iPADS. My account has been hacked. What do I do about this? Anybody?” — Washington Examiner‘s Mark Tapscott.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Were they trying to antagonize? Take a look.

Daily Caller: “Obama might have lost a vote in Ohio.” They linked to this, a story by Justin Green that was a mere 93 words and packed with basics and a quote from the Akron Beacon Journal.

HuffPost political reporter Sabrina Siddiqui: “Show some class.”

TPM‘s Brian Beutler: “And perhaps some side boob.”

Mother Jones‘ soon-to-be full-time Washington-based Social Media guru and National Security Correspondent Adam Weinstein remarked, “You don’t have to be a loyal opposition. You don’t even have to be respectful. But can you at least be humane? @DailyCaller”

And the DNC’s mouthy Social Media coordinator Greg Greene weighed in, saying, “They could do worse. They could send Neil Munro to cover the funeral.”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“First @CNN liveshot of the day at #scotus . This is the scene in front of the 44 marble steps.” — CNN Legal Analyst Jeffrey Toobin.

Boybander says ‘vagina’

“6-3 that transvaginal ultrasounds are NBD#otherSCOTUSpredictions” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler in an apparent attempt to be cute on the day of the heightened Supreme Court healthcare ruling. One reader thought it was in “bad taste.” But considering we did an entire feature called “Vagina Journalism” we’re not here to judge.

‘Wish me luck!’

The Atlantic‘s editorial meetings may be about to get a bit livelier. Atlantic Magazine Editor Scott Stossel remarked on Twitter this week, “My son (5) has, unaccountably, started gleefully yelling ‘Wish Me Luck!’ every time he breaks wind. Whole family now adopting the practice.” Our suggestion: Anyone who runs into Stossel today should say the phrase … repeatedly.

Understatement of the Day

“Probably more traffic today than in SB’s first 5 years, combined. So grateful; a little scared. #teamlyle #dontcrash” — SCOTUSblog.

Journo braces for bad hair day

“I have a contingency plan for nearly everything today, but not a power outage at my apartment. Are you ready for my good hair day, SCOTUS?” — Rebecca Berg, NYT political reporting fellow.

Politico publicist has a bad day

“Horrible end to a bad day. #RIPStella” — Politico‘s Olivia Petersen on Wednesday. (Might that have had something to do with Politico‘s suspended bad boy Joseph Williams appearing on The Bill Press Show seemingly without the pub’s knowledge or approval?)

Speaking of Williams…“One thing’s for sure,” noted lefty Bill Press on this morning’s radio show. “The right wing blogs are out to take Joe Williams down or me down or anybody down who gives any indication that they are liberal. Of course they don’t have to guess about me, man. I put it out there everyday.”

HuffPost‘s Jon Ward wonders why NYT’s homepage forgot today’s ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court

Most of Ward’s comments were directed to NYT’s Jim Roberts, Asst. Managing Editor of the NYT, just before 7 a.m. At the time, Roberts was telling followers about a newly created Chinese-language site by the NYT. He never responded to Ward. At 8 a.m. he directed NYT readers to this story on the Supreme Court ruling. At 9 a.m. there was still no indication of the Supreme Court ruling on NYT’s homepage minus a small print blurb at the bottom.

1. “Nothing on NYT front page about #healthcare ruling?” 2. “idk, seems like there should be something: a recap, a rehash, etc. im sure there’s still lotta people tuning in for first time.” 3. “As my old editor used to say, even if you’ve written a story before, there were people who didn’t read it, so write it again.”

Want a friend in London? Forget the dog

“Odd conversation o.t. day: Woman to her dog: ‘You really don’t give a shit about me, do you?’” — Sarah Lyall, a London-based NYT correspondent.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Today we have a plea to any of you beer drinkers out there to help teach TPM‘s Brian Beutler how to shotgun a beer. According to Beutler, more of a third-tier Boybander in Washington, you poke a hole in the side of the can and THEN you open the tab and drink it like a Sprite. Next: watch the foam dribble down your chest and stomach from that mysterious hole you were supposed to drink from in the first place.

Watch here.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Current TV was a bastion of ridicule yesterday as former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.) was acquitted on charges of campaign finance abuse. What’s his next step, a seat alongside fellow cheating liberal louse Eliot Spitzer? Better yet, how about a talk show trio of Spitzer, Edwards and ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-Hotdogville)?

Journalists in the Beltway and beyond couldn’t resist suggesting that Current TV give Edwards a spin.

Edwards Current TV Joke #1

“Someone get John Edwards a Current TV show stat.” — TPM‘s Evan McMorris-Santoro.

Edwards Current TV Joke #2

“Does John Edwards have a show on Current TV yet?” — Stefan Becket, who covers national politics for Correctnicity.com in York, Pa.

Edwards Current TV Joke #3

“Been off all week. What’s this I hear about John Edwards getting a show on Current?” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

We reached out to Current TV to ask if the network would ever consider hiring Edwards. “Not happening!” said a spokesperson.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Question to Ponder: “How many dumb people are going to think that President Obama is actually gay now?” — HuffPost‘s Ethan Klapper.

Quote Taken Out of Context

“And then @RadioBabe called me an asswipe. #nprlife” — NPR Elections Producer Arnie Seipel. Before that, he said, “Being serenaded on a Friday afternoon by @RadioBabe singing Patsy Cline’s Crazy.” Radio Babe is NPR Correspondent Andrea Seabrook.

Writer wonders about ‘prissy’ Cranbrook

“Why do prep schools have such so often have such prissy names? ‘Cranbrook?’” — Tucson Sentinel Technorati writer Jimmy Zuma, referring to the Michigan prep school Mitt Romney attended and site of the haircut incident.

A Boybander’s Emotional Admission

“Running is the only healthy thing I genuinely love to do but more and more my body’s telling me I shouldn’t. Having a hard time dealing.” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

Self-appointed Media Critic

“Why do I get the impression that news magazines would put *anything* on their covers to sell 5 extra copies?” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“Just spotted in Santa Monica: car with Hawaii plate ALOHA. Car with most desired Hawaii license plate belongs in Hawaii.” — MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell with this stellar announcement you won’t likely see anywhere else in the next decade.

Journo sees connection to Prez’s fundraiser

“Obama fundraiser in NYC Monday — special guest Ricky Martin — is sold out, organizer says. Gee. Wonder why?” — Politico‘s Glenn Thrush.

Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Overheard at the airport…

“Heard at DCA ‘will the owner of a loose chihuahua please return to the security checkpoint.’” — VP, Bureau Chief, NBC News Washington Bureau Antoine Sanfuentes. We can only hope the pooch was wearing this getup.

A writer and porn

“I bet porn consumption drops a lot during the #superbowl” — Washington freelancer and resident National Press Club troublemaker and crusader Sam Husseini (Husseini, who works for the Institute for Public Accuracy and blogs for washingtonstakeout.com, was briefly suspended from the club late last year for posing questions perceived to be inappropriate at a presser.)

Twitter Shame

“There needs to be a word for when you tweet something you think is really hilarious and nobody retweets it.” — CNN’s Lizzie O’Leary.

Roger gets racy regarding Newt

“Does Newt know how to give good press or what?” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

Editor makes predictions on Madonna’s nipples

“SuperBowl prediction. Madonna shows both nipples. She’s too competitive too let Janet Jackson beat her at her own game.” — Washington Life Exec. Editor Michael Clements.

The Media Critic

“CNN has is now broadcasting a live count of votes. It’s as exciting as it sounds.” — Reason Mag and TWT movie reviewer Peter Suderman.

Journos give Newt crap for a change

“Topics Newt needs to avoid to preserve the sanity illusion: himself, mitt, janitors, the moon, ‘historian’” — WaPo‘s “Right Turn” blogger Jennifer Rubin. An observation on Newt…“Anyone else notice how much time Newt seems to have to read the papers?” — PBS’s Gwen Ifill.

A warning from The Guardian‘s Ana Marie Cox: “I better warn folks that I may not be able to experience this event ironically. Large groups of people sincerely singing can get to me.” (She attended a Rick Santorum campaign event in which attendees were saving seats with Bibles. Note her accompanying photograph.)

Journo Love

“[Bret Baier] does a great job responding to his Twitter critics, even gave them a voice on the air. Bet a lotta anchors blow ‘em off.” — Politico‘s Dave Catanese.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“Passionate reactions to Komen segment on Reliable. Regardless of your view, of course the underlying issue in the flap is abortion.” — The Daily Beast’s Washington Bureau Chief and CNN “Reliable Sources” host Howard Kurtz. Really. The underlying flap is abortion?

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day II

“LOL and ZOMG are the only two expressions you need to know to report or understand campaign coverage.” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler in an observation that could truly, easily be ignored.

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“Next question: ‘If Venusians came to earth and promised us eternal youth in exchange for some sex slaves, would you be cool with that?’ – Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

“Considering breaking my heterosexual engagement.” — Slate‘s Matthew Ygelsias in response AP breaking news Monday that Washington state has enough votes to legalize gay marriage.

“At what point will the audience be unable to stop itself from cheering? Maybe during the Bambi’s-mother-dying section…” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

“Hoping Newt berates the media for holding so many debates tonight. I could totally get on board with that.” — WaPo’s Democratic Strategist and blogger Ezra Klein. We were torn between that quote and this one: “Looking forward to watching the show my Tivo assures me is beginning on NBC at 9pm ET: Fear Factor. So Mitt Romney’s going to eat a bug?” Ezzy is so funny!

“I read a ton of conservatives, but not Drudge.” — MSNBC’s Chris Hayes.

“Think I’m still drunk. This is gonna be an interesting day at the Pentagon.” — Wired.com‘s Spencer Ackerman.

Note to Readers: We’re going to occasionally try out themes in this space. If you have one you’d like to see, tell me about it at Betsy@mediabistro.com or FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

The travel agent

“Perry dropping out to spend more time with his Niggerhead Ranch.” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

Journo has vivid imagination

“I would just about empty my bank account for someone to yell ‘GET OFF THE STAGE, HIPPIE’ during this pre-debate rundown #fits” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

Obesity alert

“Sure, I’ll eat these free cookies at the debate file. Haven’t eaten enough down here. #obesity” — RealClearPolitics‘ Scott Conroy.

Warming up the audience

“What you are missing at home: Press file is watching feed of what I would describe as a crowd fluffer: ‘ARE YOU EXCITED TO BE HERE??’” — Yahoo! News‘s Holly Bailey.

Holding out until bitter end

“The field is set. There is one last chance to avoid a Romney nomination. I won’t fall in line until all other choices are exhausted.” — BigGov’s and CNN Contributor Dana Loesch.

Question to ponder…

“Newt wanted an ‘open’ marriage. Did that also include an ‘open’ extramarital affair?” — Mother Jones‘ Washington Bureau Chief and MSNBC Contributor David Corn.

Howeesha’s unusual proposal

“I’ve decided DC needs a ‘Rent a Mom’ service for when you’re sick. I’d pay top dollar for some pillow fluffing and soup right about now.” — The Hill‘s Howlma (a.k.a. Judy Kurtz).

Reporter set to retire?

“Stephen Colbert used a story of mine for his latest Super PAC ad. Well, now I can retire.” — Yahoo! News‘s Chris Moody.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“‘Gently heated yoga.’ What does that mean?” — Elahe Izadi, a race and class reporter for DCentric, an NPR Project Argo blog on WAMU 88.5. We have no explanation for the dense tweet. (But shhh…she is a former TBDer.)

Gingrich’s daughters: Something suddenly came up?

“Gingrich’s two daughters were set to do all morning shows to respond to Marianne interview. Now, they cancelled; per @bnurretoday” – NBC Chief Political Correspondent Chuck Todd.

The Ass Kisser

“It will take incredible guts and self possession for Newt to do well tonight” — Political Commentator Dick Morris. He added, “Imagine doing this with your ex wife coming on one hour after the debate to blow you to hell!”

Disrespectful or inventive?

“What would I serve for #cnndebate if I didn’t have to work? No question I would start with a Mitt Martini since he doesn’t drink. Add olives.” — CNN Commentator Donna Brazile.

Such pettiness…

“Is John King going to make those annoying ‘um’ sounds during each candidate’s answer again?” — TPM Assistant Editor Igor Bobic. To which NJ‘s Ethan Klapper reached skyward and replied, “Oh God.”

Question of the hour

“Who are all these women who willingly sleep with Newt Gingrich and how can we help raise their self-esteem? #ewwww” — Kenny Rufino, Creative Director, Crown Publishing.

Convo Between Two Journos

“After all Rick Perry‘s gaffes to date, how can we be sure he won’t mistakenly show up? #CNNdebate” — NYT‘s Frank Bruni. To which NJ Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier wrote, “You made NJ newsroom lol.”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.