A real HuffPost headline: “This kitten is unstoppable at ping pong”

Looks like Wolf’s nickname is sticking

“Sen. Ayotte called Wolf Blitzer “Blitz” on @AC360 just now.” — Former Herman Cain spokeswoman Ellen Carmichael. As everyone can recall, it was Cain who first slipped up and called CNN’s Wolf Blitzer “Blitz.”

Journo witnesses real life in-flight episode of Intervention

“This girl strung out on something just turned my entire flight experience into an episode of Intervention.” — Politico Pro producer Caitlin Emma, en route to D.C. from Boston. She continued, “They let this girl board the plane even though she was so high she was incapacitated! Crazy. Made it to DC though!”

Phillipe Cousteau: Engaged. The D.C. bachelor (and son of Jacque) is reportedly off the market. So far the bride-to-be is a mystery, with Facebook observers referring to her as “mermaid” and “lucky lady.”

Reporters complain of ugly nude protestors

“Dear naked protestors, please take lessons from PETA and at least make us want to stare at your naked hot protestor super models.” — CNN Contributor and RedState‘s Erick Erickson in reference to a nude AIDS activists who showed up to House Speaker John Boehner’s office Tuesday. Yes they were arrested. Yes, the cameras kept rolling. See pictures here.

At least PETA hires hotties when it has nude protests. — FBDC and TheBlaze‘s Eddie Scarry.

A quick memo… from Fake Jim VandeHei to National Journal Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier, who is stepping down and becoming a national correspondent: “Ron Fournier, some of us write AND edit.” Taking a more glass half full approach, former Politico reporter and current White House correspondent for The Hill Amie Parnes sails in with this: “Ron Fournier, writing is so much better than editing. welcome back!”

A note from a congressional reporter turned fashion critic… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Not sure what it says that a photo of me bloated with a pillow under my shirt is my most-liked Instagram photo ever.” — Catherine Andrews, Director of Digital Content at Home Front Communications and former Editorial Director at Washingtonian.

Home for the Holidays

“Nothing like grandpa showing his tooth abscess to everyone one of us before dinner.” — Politico Pro web producer Caitlin Emma.

“Mom is regaling the guests w her theory that Bobby Kennedy had Marilyn killed w a poisoned enema to not leave marks. Kill me now.” — Publicist and former ABC “This Week” producer Courtney Cohen.

“Just realized I am stress eating chips & queso as my parents are grilling me about GOP options for 2016. Dinner has taken a nasty turn.” — House Maj. Whip Spokeswoman Erica Elliott. And on Thanksgiving: “When I announced I was going to take a shower to try and exfoliate this spray tan, my family literally cheered. Apparently it’s that bad.”

“I accidentally stumbled into a birds-and-bees conversation with my nephew, which led to me saying, ‘No, it’s not called a ‘virginia.’” — MetroWeekly Co-Publisher Sean Bugg.

“Ugh. Had I watched this Kentucky game in my apartment instead of my mom’s home, there’d be holes in the walls.” — Reuters’ Sam Youngman.

“Thanksgiving at the Ericksons involves 6 dozen eggs, 21 lbs of butter, and now 9 lbs of bacon. 4 cakes, 5 pies, 20 lbs of turkey, & 17 ppl.” — CNN Contributor and RedState’s Erick Erickson.

“Yumm. Here is my obligatory turkey photo.” — Politico’s Ginger Gibson. 

Hagman gave NPR director’s Nana a Texas twang

“Claudine, our director, sez her Egyptian grandmother learned English by watching Dallas. She now has a Texas accent. RIP Larry Hagman.” — NPR’s Scott Simon.

Journos get emotional around Thanksgiving

• “My uncle, God rest his soul, made squirrel and rabbit jerky for us as kids. Miss his smart aleck remarks about other fam during holidays.” — Breitbart.com and CNN Contributor (well, if that’s what they’re calling never appearing these days) Dana Loesch.

• “iPad photo app creators, thank you for hours of family fun. #sincerely” — ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper.

• “Just watched “Love Actually” for the 147th time. Still tear up at the end.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

• “A special thank you to our service men and women for their service and sacrifice. We are thankful for you all. #thanksgiving” — NBC “MTP” Host David Gregory (Just what the troops were waiting for, a shout-out from Gregory.)

• “My uncle just got a call from the hospital and they may have found a kidney donor! So happy for@veerichie‘s daddy! All my love to Toronto!” — ABC7 reporter Jummy Olabanji.

• “I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m thankful Caribou is open this morning.” — NBC Washington’s Matt Glassman.

• “The crash of Jesse Jackson Jr. Is a tragic end to a career that once seemed to have no limit. Very sad for him, his family & constituents.” — President Obama‘s top campaign advisor David Axelrod.

A WH Correspondent gets into holiday spirit

“Vaguely wish the White House had named the turkeys ‘Congress’ and ‘Syphilis’ and then crowdsourced which one gets pardoned.” — Yahoo! News’ White House Correspondent Olivier Knox.

And BuzzFeed‘s Kaczynski gets all grateful and neighborly…

“Yes neighbor loudly playing his bass while families in my apartment building sit down together for dinner, you are an asshole.” — BuzzFeed‘s Andrew Kaczynski on Thanksgiving just before 3 p.m.

Paul Wharton misses chance to stuff himself

“Y did I refuse to take a plate of Thanksgiving Food from my cousin’s house?! Now I want turkey and stuffing & all I have is Salad! WTF!?” — Real Housewives of D.C. Stylist Paul Wharton.

Baier Vomit

“Good morning! Happy Black Friday. Are you shopping today? My wife, Amy, says she might try – I’ll be with our boys far away from the mall!” — FNC’s Bret Baier.

Ambien Adventures

“If you take Ambien and forget to stop and go to sleep, it actually makes you stay more awake. Kinda crazy, eh? 730A & I’m still up.” — Elizabeth Lauten (a.k.a. DCGOPGirl and CNN iReporter) on the day after Thanksgiving.

Important Q to Ponder: “Possibly stupid cooking question: Can I use whiskey bourbon (Crown) in a savory recipe that calls for bourbon?” — Conservative writer and blogger Lisa De Pasquale.

One Bureau Chief has stroke of good luck and another warns journos about sobriety checkpoint…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“600 sheep must have died to make that fleece.” — FNC “The Five’s” Greg Gutfeld regarding New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s pullover. Gutfeld recently received a sexist award from the Women’s Media Center for referring to Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as “Frizzilla.” We think this proves that he’s as much anti-fat people as he is against women with bad hairdos.

Politico producer looking for ding dongs

“Anyone got a box of Hostess Ding Dongs that they’re looking to get rid of?” — Politico‘s Caitlin Emma.

Convo Between Two Journos

Bloomberg Business Insider‘s Joshua Green: “U a dope who paid $500 for Twinkies thinking they were going extinct? DM me for a trend piece.” HuffPost‘s Sam Stein:” I did (is this how u use dm?)”

Question NEVER to ponder: “Is it a law of Chapstick buying that you will lose your chapstick within 7 seconds of buying it? Or is that just me?” – U.S. News & World Report‘s Jason Koebler. Pssst Jason…it’s just you!

Is Sherri Shepherd leaving The View?

“Need to ask for a job application @HomeGoods – as much merchandise as I moved its only fitting I go back and help clean up!” — ABC “The View’s” Sherri Shepherd.

Quote Taken Out of Context

“@TheFix Your bottle of Sex Panther cologne has just been Amazon-ed.” — Politico‘s White House Correspondent Glenn Thrush to WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Journo tries to lure journos to event via Petraeous

“Gen. Petraeus is coming to ‘Politics and Pints’ tonight. Are you? (Ok, he isn’t. But you still should.)” — WaPo‘s Cillizza, trying hard to get people to attend his Politics and Pints trivia night at the Cap Lounge.

Following the mistress: a pointless practice?

“I fail to see the journalistic benefit in following Paula Broadwell wherever she goes.” — Mother Jones blogger Adam Serwer.

Journo wonders about journo posture

“Standing desk types: How do you square with laptop use? Standing up, but laptop means bad posture, head angle.” — Politico‘s Patrick Gavin.

Obama and Boehner: Black and Tan

“Obama and Boehner are working on their new budget compromise, a Black & Tan.”  — Conservative Commentator and author Ann Coulter.

Journo becomes his father and Trump offers yet another useless opinion…
continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Reporter calls for an American leader

“America needs a leader so badly. Right now, she doesn’t have one.” — The Daily Caller‘s incredibly patriotic reporter Matthew Boyle. Can a reporter ever just be a reporter? Since when is Boyle an op-ed columnist?

From the Dept. of Bragiculture…“Got to make a call on Air Force One today, connected by an operator. The little things in life.” — The Hill‘s White House Correspondent Amie Parnes in a comical humblebrag. Oh, is that where she is?

On a serious note…

“Our @ABC correspondents @LamaHasan @JeffreyKofman are in North Africa this morning as crisis heats up. Good luck-stay safe.” — ABC News Prez Ben Sherwood.

Run Caitlin run!

“Just ran from Arlington to the base of the Capitol. I feel like Forrest Gump.” — Politico Pro Web Producer Caitlin Emma.

The Media Critic

“How do people who have hard jobs watch cable news when they come home at night? I just watched a minute of Hannity and want a nap.” — Former Mediaite writer Frances Martel.

The Media Critic II

“Watching cable news tonight (first time in 8-9 months). After 20 mins, click (sound of remote turning off).” — Paul Brandus, an independent White House correspondent who writes West Wing Report.

Harsh: Journo should’ve been aborted?

“Oddest email response to my column criticizing media reax to Romney on Egypt? Man says my mom should have aborted me for supporting Obama.” — Washington Examiner op-ed writer Philip Klein.

From the reporter’s chair: “Things you see at 9pm votes: Sen Baucus in a tux #Senate” — NBC News Senate producer Libby Leist.

Production supervisor’s dog gets hysterical over TV ding

“The ‘ding’ in the new Google Chrome commercial is driving my dog hysterically bonkers. He is growling at the TV. #mydoghatesyou.” — Doug Zimmerman, production supervisor for Environment & Energy TV’s web programming.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

U.S. Senator just wants to tweet in peace

“Quit complaining abt my Twitter shorthand I know how to spell But Twitter limit is 120 characters” – Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley. (It’s actually 140 characters, senator, but we’ll let you off the hook.)

Bummer

“Looks like im bumped by Clinton on msnbc.” – lover of all things Fishbowl, WaPo‘s Ezra Klein. And we were so looking forward to it.

Distaste for Creed somehow matches distaste for James O’Keefe

“In prank journalism, Art Levine is to James O’Keefe what “Exile on Main Street” is to the Creed reunion album: http://bit.ly/fYVlMD” – Foreign Policy‘s Charles Homans.

Intern worships Oprah

“Seriously Arizona, you are my Oprah.” – Daily Caller intern Caitlin Emma. For those not following the NCAA college basketball tournament, the University of Arizona beat Duke, the top team in the country, and sent them packing.

And while we’re on the subject of the Daily Caller

“Leaving Florida with two dozen tattooed, sun-burned, drunk people. D.C., here I come.” – Caller reporter Mike Riggs, who spent the week in his home state. Welcome back.

And while we’re on the subject of returning to D.C.

Betsy Rothstein returns to the Fishbowl on Monday and this is my last day doing the morning quotes (and since the tweets out of D.C. weren’t so great yesterday), I’m giving myself a quote:

“Will we be able to say the word ‘winning’ ever again? Cause that was like an actual word once that I occasionally used” – FishbowlDC’s Alec Jacobs, referring of course to Charlie Sheen.

Still not sure why this was so funny…but it was

“Can’t believe lobsterfest is over.” – Fox News contributor and former press secretary for President George W. Bush, Dana Perino.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.