ASPIRING FASHIONISTO: “Spotted in the airport: Man Shawl. Nay, says I. But I’m wearing a tie.” — Logan Dobson, Washington’s own Tim Gunn and a research analyst The Tarrance Group, a Republican polling firm.

The scolder

“A ‘whistleblower’ exposes govt wrongdoing. A ‘criminal’ leaks natl security secrets. Too many reporters confusing the difference lately.” — Brian Walsh, GOP strategist and former spokesman for NRSC. Photoshop credit: Austin Price.

Journo probably shouldn’t share with mom

“I’m sure my mom would tell me this is on ‘no list,’ but planning to do my live shot from roof of truck 2nite.” — Kansas City 41ActionNews reporter Garrett Haake.

Men just don’t do it for her for long

“My brother’s wedding opened this floodgate, but no, I’m nowhere near settling down. Men are just rarely able hold my attention for very long.” — The Daily Beast‘s Meghan McCain.

Traveling journos

“In Brussels – then Strasbourg – for the week learning about European Parliament.” — The Daily Caller‘s Alex Pappas.

“I’m tweeting from the 2013 U.S. Islamic World Forum run by @BrookingsFP here in Doha. #USIslamForum” — The Daily Beast‘s Josh Rogin.

“My American flag Nebraska shirt raised some eyebrows in the hotel gym here in Brussels #uglyamerican” — Washington Examiner‘s Justin Green (selfie at left) who also wrote, “I’m pretty weird in general, but going on 36 hours of no sleep right now and it’s gonna get real.”

MSNBC you listening?

“‘Up With Matt Labash.’ Now there’s a weekend show I’d watch.” — Reuters‘ Jack Shafer.

Editor called out for Minnesota accent

“Just learned I say ‘events’ wrong. Thanks, Minnesota. #ah-vents” –  Sara Schwartz, wire editor, intern coodinator at WaPo Express.

Politico‘s Allen Vs. WaPo‘s Tumulty

“mikeallen Playbook says #wapo made “painful climbdown” on NSA. Disagree. Quoted dox accurately, forced govt to clarify. #winwin #journalism” — WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty.

Something to think twice about doing… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public.” — Rio-based author Paulo Coelho.

“Check out this dog’s two toned tongue – wasn’t easy to get pic of it.” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren.

Breakfast anyone?

“I just spit oatmeal out of my mouth. @Morning_Joe @morningmika @JoeNBC #deadlynecessity” — WaPo and MSNBC Contributor Jonathan Capehart this morning.

Blogger appreciates booze-free outings

“I heart impromptu escapades w/new & old pals that actually don’t leave you hungover.” — Pamela’s Punch blogger Pamela Sorensen. On May 29, she wrote, “At @BOURBONSTEAKDC drinking a G&T bc I freaking need one.”

Journo has advice for ex-Obama aide, journalists

“Time for my meds. Y’all have a good one. All except you, @davidaxelrod. Reflect. Ask yourself how much you’ll sacrifice for bromance.” — Former Reuters political reporter Sam Youngman. And this: “DC journos, break the cycle. Self-importance is an addiction. [NYT's Frank] Bruni’s column today is straight freaking heroin. Put it down. Back away.”

Kurtz clarifies what “no injuries” means

We thought CNN and Daily Download‘s Howard Kurtz was taking a little break from tweeting to smell the roses and breathe after parting ways with The Daily Beast amid a bunch of weird errors? Well, not really. On Saturday he felt some need to promote a WaPo story about a plane crashing into a Herndon apartment building. He wrote, “Incredible story (and picture) of Cessna crashing into a Virginia home and no one hurt. Just missed sleeping child.” Except that there were people hurt — at least two people, in fact. Kurtz corrected himself, writing, “Meant to say no one was killed when Cessna crashed into Virginia home. Three injured. But still a miracle if you look at the pictures.” The story reports that the pilot was seriously injured and that the passenger was treated for minor injuries on the scene. That adds up to two. A photo caption for the story does report that “authorities say” three people suffered minor injuries but the story doesn’t back that up. Scratching our heads on who that third injured person was, but glad that six WaPo reporters were on it.

Journo prefers “clueless” over “stupid”

“Email this morning: ‘You are either clueless or plain stupid.’ I opted for the former.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Uh oh.

“My roommate just wished me good luck as she left our apartment for her boyfriend’s place. Ugh. #death.” — Stacy Lambe, a male freelancer for VH1.

A convo between two journos… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

WHOSE SHOES? “Footwear of the fashion forward men of POLITICO Video.” — Politico‘s Christine Delargy.  Hints: The guy in yellow has been known to frequent Pete’s, a pizza eatery in D.C.; his colleague showing off his fancy boat shoes, meanwhile, frequents Peregrine in the Eastern Market neighborhood of Washington. We’ll tell you later. But send your guesses and commentary to fishbowlDC@mediabistro.com or to Betsy@mediabistro.com.

“I’m wearing pajama bottoms, you can’t see it.” — Daily Caller and The Week‘s Matt Lewis, joking (we think) during his appearance on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” this morning.

Burning the midnight oil

“hey @woodhouseb do you think holder should resign? what if ashcroft had investigated MSNBC reporter? you wld have been ok with it? comment?” — BuzzFeed‘s Michael Hastings to Democratic Party Spokesman Brad Woodhouse. Noteworthy: The tweet was sent at 3:25 a.m.

Just in case you think you’re having a bad day…“Not something you see everyday. A plane sticking out the side of an apt building. @ABC7John is live at 4:32am!” — Sara Van Aernum, executive producer of ABC7′s “Good Morning Washington.” The plane ran out of fuel and had to take a pit stop into this Herndon, Va. apartment building. Can you imagine waking up to this sh-t?

Anxiety-ridden TV watcher

“I need a xanax just to watch this thing.” — NPR freelancer Lizzie O’Leary watching yesterday’s Spelling Bee.

Just a normal day at work in Washington

“We are ALL CLEAR !” just received via email at @wusa9 after bomb threat. Broadcasts never interrupted. No evacuations.Thanks @DCPoliceDept” — WUSA9′s Russ Ptacek.

“Weird coincidence. #Tornado drill in #Senate, while #oklahoma has real thing.” — CQ Roll Call Staff Writer Alan Ota.

Reporter wishes she was better versed in car mechanics

“Wish I knew about cars so when mechanic went on ‘If you don’t give me all your money, you will DIE in a fiery mess’ spiel, I could check him.” — NBC Washington Social Media Editor Cheryl Thompson.

From the Dept. of Bragiculture…

“I was only reporter to ride 100k over 3 days w/George W. Bush on mountain bikes w/wounded vets on his ranch last week. 4k words posting soon.” — HuffPost‘s Jon Ward. In case you don’t think he’s the most humble reporter in Washington, he is. Just ask him! continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“News helicopters being told to back off because HWY Patrol can’t hear people crying for help #tornado #oklahoma” — Robin Marsh, news anchor in Oklahoma City.

Fallout: Bring Up Politics at Your Own Risk 

“I’m a douche low-life scumbag jackhole ghoul for noting Coburn already wants offsets to fed aid and Inhofe is climate change denier.” – Politico‘s Glenn Thrush, who got bombarded when he wrote this: “It’s striking that OK’s sens are 1) a federal spending skeptic and 2) global warming denier.” In response to the above, Kristina Ribali, director of new media at Freedom Works remarked: “@GlennThrush I didn’t say you were slamming them, I said you were being an ass. Have some class.” Labor reporter F. Bill McMorris wrote simply, “#douche.”

Did someone speak too soon? 

“Thank God tragedies like this one in OK bring out the highest and best in everyone – politicians, first responders, government, media.” — CNBC and NYT‘s John Harwood.

More media in-fighting…

The Nation‘s Katrina vanden Heuvel: “If GOP going to use IRS ‘scandal’ to demolish government,they may wish to look at need for very same government in Oklahoma tornado disaster.”

National Review Online‘s Jonah Goldberg: “.@KatrinaNation what’s really in poor taste how your point is so pedestrian and lame. Why bother? Jeez.”

The Day After: “It is always the next day when the sun comes up that we learn the extent of the horror.” — Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren.

And a few confessionals…

“Sometimes the disaster voyeurism on Twitter makes me uncomfortable.” — Blake Hounshel, managing editor of Foreign Policy mag.

“I lost some family that meant a lot to me in the AL tornadoes. Think I’ll clock out of coverage for the evening and pick it up in the AM.” — FBDC Contributor and Bill Press‘ producer Peter Ogburn.

“The partisanship in the wake of tragedy stuns me.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

The Preacher

“When you turn your TV off and stop tweeting tonight — stop. Sit in peace. Too many people don’t have that tonight.” — WaPo producer Jeff Simon.

Emotions on high: A Variety of Calls for Prayer

• “Terrifying photo of tornado damage nyti.ms/10R5Ly2 May the dead rest in peace. May survivors get help to heal and rebuild.” – Conor Friedersdorf, staff writer for The Atlantic.

“Worst part about Oklahoma news is you know it’s going to get worse. And that’s just heartbreaking. #PrayForOklahoma” — Rory Cooper, communications director to House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor.

• “The sad news from Oklahoma keeps rolling in. Everyone at TheDC is thinking of the folks affected, & will keep you in our thoughts & prayers.” — The Daily Caller.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in Oklahoma tonight. #okc” — Newt Gingrich.

Uh oh.

“CIA source says Fox News scandal the ’4th Shoe’; says it goes much deeper; says WH also sitting on “something” that has top aides terrified.” — Drudge Report and TWT Columnist Joseph Curl.

GOP Spox Prediction: 60 Minutes to land first Obama interview

“White House/Obama scandal tsunami is growing. Odds that the White House offers Steve Kroft the first POTUS interview?” — NRSC Strategist/Spokesman Brad Dayspring in an unfortunate display of using a weather analogy on the wrong day.

Rubin Vs. Shuster

“Watching lefty media meltdown re Obama media spying is like a kid finding out Babe Ruth was a drunk. Sorry to disillusion but long overdue.” — WaPo‘s
“Right Turn” blogger Jennifer Rubin.

Shuster guts Rubin like a fish…“When it comes to RWNJ’s, including @JRubinBlogger, who are mentally ill + psychotic, best to ignore them.” — Lefty radio host David Shuster. “[Jennifer Rubin] proves again she is a habitual liar. And, asking @CNN to cut the mic of somebody responding to her lies? Psychotic.”

Bureau Chief takes firm stance on exposed pits

“Phew, getting people blind drunk in bars in order to get them to tell you things isn’t in DOJ’s list of treasonous acts that reporters do.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton. And this from a few days ago, but we couldn’t resist it: “I’m a firm believer that sleeves are mandatory for dudes in a restaurant situation. Nobody wants your pits exposed near their food.”

Watch out, ladies, your purses are germier than you think

“Not the dinner hour yet so if you carry a purse tune in at 4. Report shows more germs on your purse than a toilet. News4 @nbcwashington.” — Jim Handly, anchor, NBC Washington.

See more Morning Chatter…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

In Siegel’s 2012 book, which releases in paperback on May 14, she mentions journalists by name including HuffPost‘s Sam Stein, WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza,  then-Politico‘s Ben Smith and “Tara” from Page Six — i.e. Tara Palmeri, formerly of the Washington Examiner and currently of the New York Post. Also mentioned: Brianna, possibly CNN’s Brianna Keilar.

Smith wasn’t aware of his presence in the book. “I was not!” he wrote. “But glad my immortality is assured.” When told that he was mentioned in a semi-racy novel, Stein asked, “Did my story on Ms. Greenley make the front page of Huffpost?”

Sadly, no. Smith was identified as the reporter who broke the fictitious news of the novel’s main character, Olivia Greenley, going to work as Georgia Gov. and Presidential hopeful Landon Taylor. Interestingly, Greenley has an affair with the very married candidate, as does the star in ABC’s “Scandal” — also named Olivia as in Olivia Pope. Politico also gets a shout-out: “Sure, her mom didn’t know what Politico was, but her colleagues did. Ben Smith was reporting on her. Sam Stein and Chris Cillizza, too.”

Later in the book… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

MAKING AN ENTRANCE AND AN EXIT: Host of “CBS This Morning” Gayle King walked into the Washington Hilton on Saturday night in an eye-popping kelly green gown by Vicky Tiel. On Friday night, she was spotted leaving the Turkish Embassy residence where The Hill was hosting its pre-WHCD party.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” — A St. Regis employee to guests of Friday night’s TIME-People party at which partygoers, many of whom were White House correspondents, received gift bags so heavy they could give you a hernia. More on the contents later…

Humility is…

“I have been told many times I look like @MatthewPerry. I just saw him at #nerdprom. He is far better looking.” — The Hill’s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

Editor wants WHCD weekend to be more substantive

“It kind of sickens me when you’re here for the White House Correspondents’ Weekend that there are not more substantive discussions.” — Steve Clemons, Editor-at-Large for The Atlantic, who hosted a discussion over the weekend with MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Sen. Joe Manchin (R-WVa.) at the Ritz. The banquet room was packed. Breakfast disappeared too fast. The discussion centered on American military power today. Attendees included BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton, NJ‘s Brian Fung, Yahoo! News‘ Chris Moody, Newsweek-Daily Beast‘s Eli Lake and The Atlantic‘s Jay Lauf.

A plea for help

“Someone catch me up on the last 9 days of news.” — Politico White House Correspondent Byron Tau.

Important Q to Ponder: “In a cab going to the airport but our driver is sleepy so he has the window down – to freeze or get into an accident?” — Oversharing Sherri Shepherd, co-host of ABC’s “The View.”

HuffPost‘s Sam Stein “impressed” with Politico

ThinkProgress‘ Judd Legum: “Politico currently has 54 separate links to stories abt WHCA Dinner on its front page.”

Huffpost‘s Sam Stein: “I’m kind of impressed.”

And in Bob Schieffer, Claire Danes father-daughter news… 

“Someone asked Bob Schieffer if he was Claire Danes’ daddy.” — former White House reporter Myles Miller.

Some buzz on BuzzFeed Party

“CSPAN showing super long line for @BuzzFeed party. A lot of sad faces who can’t get in #buzzfeedbbq” — Washington Examiner‘s Charlie Spiering. And this from Roll Call HOH’s Warren Rojas: “Crowd in #BuzzFeedbbq just let out very self-satisfied collective whoop after @cspan live shot of line @JackRoseinDC #counterwhcd”

Psy or is it more like Sigh?

“Psy just walked by me. I feel somehow cooler. Or at least more relevant.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. Good thing Cillizza didn’t actually try to communicate with Psy.

Starting new pub is stressful

“Rare has oped from Jeb Bush today so big relief we can get the big names when so new. I’m on pins and needles every day.” — Rare Editor-in-Chief Brett Decker. See here. Will Jeb run or won’t he? Who knows, but his last graph sounds rather presidential. He writes, “American greatness comes from the power of individuals – not the government – to create wealth and opportunity through competition, innovation and empowerment. Not only must we pursue reform, we must do a much better job communicating how these reforms protect and promote the genius of America.”

More WHCD fallout…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“You can’t study for this,” said SKDknickerbocker’s Doug Thornell, who played on the Hotline Insiders team. “I actually think I’m really good at [trivia].” His brother showed up, as did his parents, who assured FishbowlDC that he was a very smart boy growing up. (See the Thornell fam pictured below.)

In a stunning victory, Rep. Tom Davis (R-Va.), clearly the most impressive player in the room last night, and his team came in second place. The journalists, who in the first four rounds, didn’t seem like they were faring so well, shot back up to win. They included WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza, who made a funny Weiner joke, and Paul Kane, The Cook Report’s Amy Walter, Roll Call‘s Shira Toeplitz, and NYT‘s Carl Hulse.

Which member of Congress had a unit of measure named after him? Cillizza’s guess: former Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.). The room broke into hysterics. Another hard question: How many calories does a fried stick of butter contain? This was what Mitt Romney ate during the campaign at a fair. The answer shocked everyone: It’s only 400 calories.

All the journalists walked home with Genius Trophies after earning an astounding 285 points. The Hotline Insiders team wasn’t far behind with 260, and the Members Only team came in third with 173 points.

The Hotline’s Editor-in-Chief Reid Wilson played Alex Trebek along with Quinn McCord, who wrote the evening’s incredibly tough questions. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Reflection on WHCD’s past

“You know you are old if you can remember when the White House Correspondents Dinner was just a dinner in a hotel basement.” — WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty.

A polite and impolite view of Politico‘s Leibo piece

“Not a reflexive @politico hater by any means but the Allen/Vandehei piece on @MarkLeibovich sure bears out his thesis of DC’s awfulness.” — The Hill‘s Associate Editor Niall Stanage. Then there’s Michael Cohen, a columnist for The Guardian, who wasn’t so kind. He wrote, “Dear Washington DC: This article is kind of the reason people don’t like you.” Read the Politico piece here.

Number of Weiner jokes made National Journal‘s Political Pursuit game last night at the Newseum: At least 2. One was made by an unknown member of the audience; the other by WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza, who was on the winning team of journliasts that included WaPo‘s Paul Kane, NYT‘s Carl Hulse, Roll Call‘s Shira Toeplitz and The Cook Report’s Amy Walter. More on the event later…

And now a note from our Spiritual Counselor Sophia Nelson, of theGrio.com and Essence: “We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. Protect your spirit. Feed your spirit. Guard your spirit. Bless your spirit.”

If you can’t beat ‘em, leave the country

“Out of the city and country for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Totally unplanned. Tears of unbridled joy. Alhamdullilah.” — Washington freelancer Sam Knight, who writes for Salon and Washington Monthly.

NPR has rep to uphold

“*sigh* If I had a nickel for every time I’ve thought this… ” –NPR’s Audie Cornish, host of “All Things Considered” in response to this: “@GeeDee215: okay. i’mma stop. This is NPR, etc.”

Yeah, riiiight: “It’s definitely smaller this year.” — SKDknickerbocker’s Doug Thornell on this year’s Garden Brunch hosted by Tammy Haddad, SKD’s Hilary Rosen and others.

AnonymASS Tipster of the Week: “Hey Peter Ogburn. While you humiliate some person who no one knows, same question can be asked of you: who the hell are you? Or who should care about the mostly puerile things you write? Advice? Find something else to do with your life.” Dear ASS: He is Peter Ogburn, THAT’s who. Who are you? Oh, right, the person who is too cowardly to attach your name to your note.

Journo Love

“Follow by the far the funniest @politico: @LucyConstance.” — Politico‘s Alexander Burns.

And finally, a morning Bible lesson from FNC’s Brit Hume‘s wife, Kim Hume: “A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones. Proverbs 14:30 (NKJV)”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Neda Semnani

Nope. Just working her ass off.

“You know how journalism is today,” she told FishbowlDC when we asked what was going on. “Its all a bit of a hustle, get the stories reported, written and published.”

More and more often reporters are working full-time one place and serving as contributors elsewhere (as I do here at FBDC while working at The Blaze). In many cases, they juggle between publications or they contract with a cable news outlet to serve as on-air commentators.

“It is definitely a challenge to write everyday for my job, freelance and do my own stuff,” Semnani said, “but I feel like I’m still making my bones in this business and this is all trial by fire. If this schedule is what it takes to do it, then that’s just the way it is right now.” continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Today, we should all give thanks for C-SPAN.

— Ezra Klein (@ezraklein) March 7, 2013

Political blogger Jonathan Bernstein remarked on C-SPAN founder Brian Lamb being a personal hero of sorts: “Yes: Thank you to Brian Lamb, Hero of the Republic.”

If you haven’t taken a moment to tweet thnx to @cspan today, do it. Coming up on 34th anniv. 1st broadcast: Mar 19 1979!

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) March 6, 2013

Journalists can get all up in arms defending C-SPAN.

If you’re watching #PaulNighter & wondering why we can’t see Paul while others speak: Senate controls the cameras, not C-SPAN. Strict rules.

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) March 7, 2013

The fan club is a big tent: C-SPAN “rules!” remarks WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza, and another journalist expresses unwavering trust in the channel. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” – Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

“Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

• “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.

• “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.

• “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

• “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.

• “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.

• “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Oyster Artichoke. And we do hope it tastes better than it looks because you couldn’t pay us to touch this stuff.

“I was expecting more on Fat Tuesday,” said substitute host, WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. “I don’t know, Gumbo?”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Howiella Kurtz (a.k.a. The Hill‘s Judy Kurtz): “Kevin Spacey joking with vertically challenged photog at “House of Cards” DC premiere. ‘What is that, a nostril shot?’” (With accompanying photograph.)

Fox News reporter: Dance for me, then I’ll give you money 

“Man on the street just “sang” me a Jodeci song – then asked for $1 Me: ‘not without some choregraphy’ – which he then performed  #worth $1.” — FNC Supreme Court Correspondent Shannon Bream.

Ahh…what sweet memories.

“A version of this would happen to me nearly every Sunday when Bloomberg did parades. I was less of an asshat, tho.” — Politico White House Correspondent Glenn Thrush. He links to this story on Breitbart.com in which Talk Radio Network’s Jason Mattera gets accosted by Mayor Bloomberg’s security detail for asking a question on gun control.

Meryl Streep as Hillary Clinton?

“39% of Americans would cast Meryl Streep to play Hillary Clinton in a movie about her life. We’d watch that.” — Vanity Fair.

So cute.

“I love that my dad still mails me clipped articles from newspapers.” — Rebecca Bredholt, managing editor, Vocus Marketing, freelance writer, photographer and scriptwriter.

NPR correspondent misses out on deluxe mac n cheese

“Some of you will understand why I just about cried upon realizing Centro in Des Moines does not serve truffled Mac n cheese after 2 pm.” — NPR’s Michele Norris.

A note to Politico‘s cat-loving Patrick Gavin from NPR: “Behind Cute Face, A Cold-Blooded Killer: Study Finds Cats Kill Billions Of Animals.” Read here.

Politico Playbook publish time: 5:22 a.m.

Watch out! “Just downloaded Vine. I feel hipper already.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Memo to reporters whose names bear a vague resemblance to Bylan Dyers and Chyron Welter: Just because you two didn’t CONFIRM news first does not mean it was not confirmed and confirmed by multiple sources. You two, in actuality, RECONFIRMED news that was already broken. I know it’s difficult when someone else breaks news before you alpha males, but next time, try to deal with it more gracefully.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

From the Dept. of Bragiculture…

“WE BEAT GAWKER BY 25 MIN ON BANGS STORY!” — WaPo‘s Reliable Source on finally getting a story within spitting distance of another gossip outlet. The item concerned first lady Michelle Obama’s new hairstyle, which involves bangs.

The Media Observer

“Favorite line from inaug committee warning abt Metro: ‘You will have to stand in close proximity to several thousand people’” — NYT‘s Washington Deputy Bureau Chief Carl Hulse.

Editor wants Christian Mingle to leave him alone

“Dear Christian Mingle, stop sending me emails.” — Eboné Bell, Managing Editor of Tagg magazine, Hip Hop Cardio Instructor, & Founder of Capital Queer Prom.

Oprah’s masterful interview skills

“Oprah rules. She is REALLY good at this. Just a master interviewer.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. Also: “Lance is the least sympathetic apologizer possible. I feel ZERO empathy with him.”

“Oprah is a hell of a good interviewer.”– CNN’s Jeffrey Toobin.

“This is as much am exercise in journalism as confession. The packages Oprahs guys are dropping in help people who are new to the story.” — NYT‘s David Carr.

“I’m not feeling Lance but I’m loving Oprah. She is a first class interviewer.” — Washingtonian Publisher Cathy Merrill Williams.

“I love Oprahshe just goes straight in! #BOOM” — Essence and theGrio columnist Sophia Nelson.

The Best of… on Oprah & Lance

“Oprah tells crowd to look under their chairs where they discover rotten vegetables to throw at Lance. That interview I would watch.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

“Every asshole should get to do an interview with Oprah.” — New York Daily News‘ Josh Greenman.

“Mike Wallace would have filleted Lance Armstrong like a fish.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

(Fake Oprah Question): “Did you ever have sex with a dead wizard’s body for magical powers?” “Yes” — The Guardian and Salon freelancer Jim Newell during the “yes or no” only portion of the interview.

“For the judging media, remember the ‘culture’ that allows for enhancements that help your job (whisky, Adderoll, whisky).” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

“I read his book, I supported LiveStrong- so awful to watch him tonight – he seems mostly sorry he got caught!” — NBC4′s  Doreen Gentzler.

“So Lance’s drug use was real and Manti’s gf was fake. Got it.” — USA Today’s Jackie Kucinich.

“I feel like this is a public therapy session.” — CNN AC360′s Devna Shuka.

“If I’ve learned anything from this Lance Armstrong interview, it’s he’s a high school girl. Stab you in the back without breaking a sweat.” — Social Media Editor for NBC Washington Cheryl Thompson.

“If Lance Armstrong cared about ratings, he would have done interview on 60 Min. Not a cable network nobody watches.” — Alex Conant, U.S. GOP Sen. Marco Rubio‘s press secretary.

“You did not just make a fat joke to Oprah.” — Lizzie O’Leary, whose Twitter bio says simply, “apsiring Hildy Johnson.”

“When does Oprah roll out the wagon of fat?” — ClearChannel‘s Colby Hall. Also: “First clue that I am not on one of my regular viewing channels: seeing ads referencing transvaginal mesh.”

“Fun continuity game: watch water levels in Lance & Oprah water glasses for edit jumping. Straws are an odd touch, too.” — Politico‘s Steve Friess.

Daily Caller reporter takes nasty swipe at CNN’s Piers Morgan...

continued…

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