Quotes of the Day

Howiella Kurtz (a.k.a. The Hill‘s Judy Kurtz): “Kevin Spacey joking with vertically challenged photog at “House of Cards” DC premiere. ‘What is that, a nostril shot?’” (With accompanying photograph.)

Fox News reporter: Dance for me, then I’ll give you money 

“Man on the street just “sang” me a Jodeci song – then asked for $1 Me: ‘not without some choregraphy’ – which he then performed  #worth $1.” — FNC Supreme Court Correspondent Shannon Bream.

Ahh…what sweet memories.

“A version of this would happen to me nearly every Sunday when Bloomberg did parades. I was less of an asshat, tho.” — Politico White House Correspondent Glenn Thrush. He links to this story on Breitbart.com in which Talk Radio Network’s Jason Mattera gets accosted by Mayor Bloomberg’s security detail for asking a question on gun control.

Meryl Streep as Hillary Clinton?

“39% of Americans would cast Meryl Streep to play Hillary Clinton in a movie about her life. We’d watch that.” — Vanity Fair.

So cute.

“I love that my dad still mails me clipped articles from newspapers.” — Rebecca Bredholt, managing editor, Vocus Marketing, freelance writer, photographer and scriptwriter.

NPR correspondent misses out on deluxe mac n cheese

“Some of you will understand why I just about cried upon realizing Centro in Des Moines does not serve truffled Mac n cheese after 2 pm.” — NPR’s Michele Norris.

A note to Politico‘s cat-loving Patrick Gavin from NPR: “Behind Cute Face, A Cold-Blooded Killer: Study Finds Cats Kill Billions Of Animals.” Read here.

Politico Playbook publish time: 5:22 a.m.

Watch out! “Just downloaded Vine. I feel hipper already.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Memo to reporters whose names bear a vague resemblance to Bylan Dyers and Chyron Welter: Just because you two didn’t CONFIRM news first does not mean it was not confirmed and confirmed by multiple sources. You two, in actuality, RECONFIRMED news that was already broken. I know it’s difficult when someone else breaks news before you alpha males, but next time, try to deal with it more gracefully.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

Quotes of the Day - the Oprah-Lance Armstrong edition.

From the Dept. of Bragiculture…

“WE BEAT GAWKER BY 25 MIN ON BANGS STORY!” — WaPo‘s Reliable Source on finally getting a story within spitting distance of another gossip outlet. The item concerned first lady Michelle Obama’s new hairstyle, which involves bangs.

The Media Observer

“Favorite line from inaug committee warning abt Metro: ‘You will have to stand in close proximity to several thousand people’” — NYT‘s Washington Deputy Bureau Chief Carl Hulse.

Editor wants Christian Mingle to leave him alone

“Dear Christian Mingle, stop sending me emails.” — Eboné Bell, Managing Editor of Tagg magazine, Hip Hop Cardio Instructor, & Founder of Capital Queer Prom.

Oprah’s masterful interview skills

“Oprah rules. She is REALLY good at this. Just a master interviewer.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. Also: “Lance is the least sympathetic apologizer possible. I feel ZERO empathy with him.”

“Oprah is a hell of a good interviewer.”– CNN’s Jeffrey Toobin.

“This is as much am exercise in journalism as confession. The packages Oprahs guys are dropping in help people who are new to the story.” — NYT‘s David Carr.

“I’m not feeling Lance but I’m loving Oprah. She is a first class interviewer.” — Washingtonian Publisher Cathy Merrill Williams.

“I love Oprahshe just goes straight in! #BOOM” — Essence and theGrio columnist Sophia Nelson.

The Best of… on Oprah & Lance

“Oprah tells crowd to look under their chairs where they discover rotten vegetables to throw at Lance. That interview I would watch.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

“Every asshole should get to do an interview with Oprah.” — New York Daily News‘ Josh Greenman.

“Mike Wallace would have filleted Lance Armstrong like a fish.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

(Fake Oprah Question): “Did you ever have sex with a dead wizard’s body for magical powers?” “Yes” — The Guardian and Salon freelancer Jim Newell during the “yes or no” only portion of the interview.

“For the judging media, remember the ‘culture’ that allows for enhancements that help your job (whisky, Adderoll, whisky).” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

“I read his book, I supported LiveStrong- so awful to watch him tonight – he seems mostly sorry he got caught!” — NBC4′s  Doreen Gentzler.

“So Lance’s drug use was real and Manti’s gf was fake. Got it.” — USA Today’s Jackie Kucinich.

“I feel like this is a public therapy session.” — CNN AC360′s Devna Shuka.

“If I’ve learned anything from this Lance Armstrong interview, it’s he’s a high school girl. Stab you in the back without breaking a sweat.” — Social Media Editor for NBC Washington Cheryl Thompson.

“If Lance Armstrong cared about ratings, he would have done interview on 60 Min. Not a cable network nobody watches.” — Alex Conant, U.S. GOP Sen. Marco Rubio‘s press secretary.

“You did not just make a fat joke to Oprah.” — Lizzie O’Leary, whose Twitter bio says simply, “apsiring Hildy Johnson.”

“When does Oprah roll out the wagon of fat?” — ClearChannel‘s Colby Hall. Also: “First clue that I am not on one of my regular viewing channels: seeing ads referencing transvaginal mesh.”

“Fun continuity game: watch water levels in Lance & Oprah water glasses for edit jumping. Straws are an odd touch, too.” — Politico‘s Steve Friess.

Daily Caller reporter takes nasty swipe at CNN’s Piers Morgan...

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Quotes of the Day

Startling Monday headline

“Woman killed by Orange Line train” — story by the Washington Examiner‘s transportation reporter  Kytja Weir.  Read here. Weir reported that a woman jumped in front of an Orange Line train at 11:29 a.m. Monday at the Ballston Metro stop and died.

Speaking of orange…GOP Consultant Roger Stone had a few choice words for CNN’s Roland Martin for rooting for Texas AM aggies: “Roland Martin Dumbfuck–your avi photos shows you wearing ORANGE.”

NYT‘s Leibovich’s book release on the horizon

“Leibo book on DC, This Town, is avail for pre-order (ships 4/23)” — GOP Conulstant Matt Mackowiack. Purchase NYT‘s Mark Leibovich‘s much anticipated Washington culture book here. The book can also be purchased at Amazon for $17.71 for the hardcover or the kindle version for $14.99.  At the Barnes & Noble website, the book also costs $17.71, marked down $from $27.95. At Penguin.com, the hardcover costs $27.95.

Important Q to Ponder: “Is Downtown Abbey the thing with Honey Boo Boo?” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman. And this: “How I feel about Twitter during Downton Abbey = how my non-sports fan friends must feel about Twitter during playoffs.” — Politico‘s Juana Summers.

Anonymous wisdom to FishbowlDC: “Come on, Twitter fights with [Breitbart.com's] Matthew Boyle are like drunkenly walking into a light pole, and then getting pissed off at it for being in your way. Totally fun, but do you really want to give the light pole any relevance?”

Convo Between Two Journos

This morning’s conversation is between The Atlantic‘s Molly Ball and The Atlantic Associate Editor covering business and politics Matt O’Brien.

Molly Ball: “The American people are a bunch of lily-livered wusses who can’t handle a little bit of legislative hardball.” She links to this story on GallupPolitics which says that 77 percent of Americans believe that Washington politics is harmful to the U.S.

Matt O’Brien: “That’s underplaying how destructive it is to hold the debt ceiling hostage.”

Molly Ball: “Aww, so worried about your pwecious widdle economy. Adorable.”

A beloved journalist dies and an insult for TIME‘s Mark Halperin unfolds… Read more

QUOTES of the DAY

Is this war?

“The Breitbart crew’s terrible reporting on Boehner makes a great case for the value of the traditional media that the site hates.” — Politico‘s Alexander Burns.

Howard Fineman’s rant against ESPN, Luke Russert

HuffPost and MSNBC’s Howard Fineman, usually a mild-mannered Washington journalist, went on quite a tirade last night against what he believes to be the shoddy reporting of ESPN and the apparent stupidity of NBC’s Luke Russert. 1. 9:25 p.m. “Luke Russert u have no idea what you are talking about.” 2. 9:43 p.m. “Luke Russert nobody cares about ice hockey, and I say that as an alum of hockey-mad Colgate. Frozen Four gets two back page columns in NYT.” 3. 9:45 p.m. “ESPN announcers continuing to make excuses for lame Florida and trash Louisville. Also they keep misusing the word ‘disinterested.’” His rant went on after midnight. 4. 12:16 a.m. “I’m sorry. The lackadaisical, grudging ESPN coverage of Louisville’s dismantling of Florida was infuriating, at least to me.”

NYT Bureau Chief praises D.C. area Sichuan

“I remain pleasantly surprised by Sichuan quality in DC burbs.” — David Leonhardt, Washington Bureau Chief for the NYT.  Last night Leonhardt was discussing the Asian cuisine with Reuters finance blogger Felix Salmon, who wrote, “Sushi Yasuda. And NY’s Szechuan chefs move around a lot.” And added, “I went to Lan Sheng today, spectacular. And Hot Kitchen is still amazing too. Not sure if GS is a chain.” (By the way, both Sichuan and Szechuan are acceptable spellings of the word, so neither journalist got it wrong.)

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

Frustrated reporter after the jump…

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Quotes of the Day

Is it BuzzFeed or is it HuffPost Hill

HuffPost Hill does its best impersonation of BuzzFeed with this email subject line: “HUFFPOST HILL – 25 Photos Of John Boehner Trying To Keep His Conference Together... And Kittens” (The afternoon newsletter has neither inside, so it’s all just a spiteful tease.)

On the Serenity Prayer…

“I hear that serenity prayer was said with typical Boehner grumble. Slight smile. He’s a devout Roman Catholic. Dark sense of humor.” — NationalReviewOnline‘s Washington Editor Robert Costa.

Uh oh. 

“On my way home via @Uber_DC. Am so grateful a service like this exists – would pay anything for the independent reviews and safety.” — Anna Sproul-Latimer, a Washington-D.C.-based literary agent. Clearly Anna hasn’t heard the news.

A complaint about flack emails

“Flack emails I will not read begin with ‘Hey XXX…’” — Daniel Newhauser, House leadership reporter for Roll Call.

NBC’s Chuck Todd gets questionable haircut?

“Did @chucktodd tell his barber ‘give me the Moe Howard‘?” — AP‘s Jon Resnick. Resnick’s joke involved Todd’s hair on Thursday, but it’s got legs. Could also refer to substitute hosts for “The Daily Rundown.” Today it’s WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. We’ve asked Resnick for clarification on the matter.

The Observer

“Emerging buzzphrase of Dem Senate presser: ‘political gyrations’” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

How to Make it All About Me: “As someone who’s worked in digital journalism for a while, this NYT effort on an avalanche is inspirational.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. We’re not sure why he felt the need to qualify his statement. We get it! You’re an expert!

In defense of journalists covering tough stories

“Many people express hate for journalists covering tragic stories in their neighborhoods. Honestly, we hate being there, too.” — WTOP’s Neal Augenstein.

Fox News producer needs parka for hearing room

“Senate Foreign Relations hearing room is ridiculously cold. So glad I brought my big North Face parka.” — FNC Senate producer Kara Rowland.

Reaction to Pareene’s Hack List

“Good God, what will Alex be like when he gets old? His list is gripping reading, though, exactly the way Fox News itself is.” –The Daily Beast and CNN Contributor David Frum on Alex Pareene‘s annual Hack List for Salon.com.

Uh oh.

“As of now I have bought zero Christmas presents. Talk about smelling the panic.” — Touré, co-host of MSNBC’s “The Cycle”.

Editor regrets eating all that junk food; and see who made this week’s FishbowlDC Fan Club Board… Read more

In the second season finale of ABC’s political drama “Scandal,” the president, having just been the victim of an attempted assassination, is in critical condition. Sally Langston, the V.P., becomes the nation’s first female president. (And she’s a complete wacko, privately referring to one Supreme Court justices as “gay-loving” and “baby-killing.”)

Hey, this sounds like something the real-life news media would dive right into, publishing stories round the clock.

Not so in Scandal, the episodes of which almost always feature some kind of angle relating to journalists. In this episode, however, there’s hardly a word about how reporters are treating such an historic occasion.

But if such a thing were to happen in real life, here are hypothetical headlines the public could expect from D.C.’s news organization… Read more

Quotes of the Day

SEAT WITH A VIEW: “Fantastic morning window view on Amtrak to DC.” — Callie Schweitzer, Director of Marketing and Projects for Vox Media, former Deputy Publisher of TPM.

DECADENT DINING: “What a glorious way to wake up: a doughnut muffin. Yes, you read that correctly.” — Nevin Martell, food writer author of Looking for Calvin and Hobbes.

Journo begs world to write him

“You’re all sitting on media news and you don’t even know it. Email me: dbyers@callmemaybe.com” — Politico‘s Dylan Byers who was having a slow day Monday? We may or may not have made up the last part of his email address. We didn’t know Politico allowed funky email addresses as the topic is not in the ethics manual.

Glenn Beck cares for dying dog

“Up tonight again with victor. I fear he is reaching his last days. Our family will be rocked. He is the best dog and a member of the family.” — Glenn Beck at 4:24 a.m.

Real Headline from HuffPost: “These pills will make you defecate real gold”

Are spokesmen allowed to have personal opinions?

“Just my personal opinion but shame on the @AP for digging into the Arizona lottery winner’s life. He should have a right to anonymity. — NRSC Spokesman and Drakkar Noir-loving Brian Walsh.

Oprah Van Susteren never stops

“BLOG (I had the night off .. but I still want to know what you thought about tonight’s show!)” — FNC Greta Van Susteren.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day… Read more

Quotes of the Day

“600 sheep must have died to make that fleece.” — FNC “The Five’s” Greg Gutfeld regarding New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s pullover. Gutfeld recently received a sexist award from the Women’s Media Center for referring to Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as “Frizzilla.” We think this proves that he’s as much anti-fat people as he is against women with bad hairdos.

Politico producer looking for ding dongs

“Anyone got a box of Hostess Ding Dongs that they’re looking to get rid of?” — Politico‘s Caitlin Emma.

Convo Between Two Journos

Bloomberg Business Insider‘s Joshua Green: “U a dope who paid $500 for Twinkies thinking they were going extinct? DM me for a trend piece.” HuffPost‘s Sam Stein:” I did (is this how u use dm?)”

Question NEVER to ponder: “Is it a law of Chapstick buying that you will lose your chapstick within 7 seconds of buying it? Or is that just me?” – U.S. News & World Report‘s Jason Koebler. Pssst Jason…it’s just you!

Is Sherri Shepherd leaving The View?

“Need to ask for a job application @HomeGoods – as much merchandise as I moved its only fitting I go back and help clean up!” — ABC “The View’s” Sherri Shepherd.

Quote Taken Out of Context

“@TheFix Your bottle of Sex Panther cologne has just been Amazon-ed.” — Politico‘s White House Correspondent Glenn Thrush to WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Journo tries to lure journos to event via Petraeous

“Gen. Petraeus is coming to ‘Politics and Pints’ tonight. Are you? (Ok, he isn’t. But you still should.)” — WaPo‘s Cillizza, trying hard to get people to attend his Politics and Pints trivia night at the Cap Lounge.

Following the mistress: a pointless practice?

“I fail to see the journalistic benefit in following Paula Broadwell wherever she goes.” — Mother Jones blogger Adam Serwer.

Journo wonders about journo posture

“Standing desk types: How do you square with laptop use? Standing up, but laptop means bad posture, head angle.” — Politico‘s Patrick Gavin.

Obama and Boehner: Black and Tan

“Obama and Boehner are working on their new budget compromise, a Black & Tan.”  — Conservative Commentator and author Ann Coulter.

Journo becomes his father and Trump offers yet another useless opinion…
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Quotes of the Day

“I’m glad my four-star general got a four-star penis. That’s what I like. … I LOVE a good scandal. Ooooooh!!” – Comedian Loni Love on E!’s “Chelsea Lately” show last night.

Uh oh. Howard Kurtz: Shirtless?

“Feeling out of the loop for not having any shirtless photos of myself. Maybe that’s the new business card.” — CNN and Newsweek/The Daily Beast‘s Sexy Beast Howard Kurtz.

Gay activist hopes for dirty pics

“You know that in all those tens of thousands of emails that there have to be some pictures….there has to be.” — GOProud Co-founder Jimmy LaSalvia.

Actress weighs in on Petraeus scandal

“Petraeus thing getting weirder. How about the unstable sister and the judge? Still, it’s a crying shame. Many lives in ruins. — Bette Midler.

Meghan reinvents herself and the GOP

“I decided I will now refer to myself and others like me as ‘modern republicans’ not ‘moderate’. I think it’s a better description. #evolve” — MSNBC and The Daily Beast‘s Meghan McCain.

Important Question to Ponder: “WTF is your job as a flak if you literally refuse to talk to reporters? What an embarrassment.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

Sighting: Jada Pinkett Smith

“Spotted in Senate subways: Jada Pinkett Smith.” — Bloomberg Senate Leadership reporter Kate Hunter.

WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza becomes the Scolder-in-Chief

“Rove twitpic with Paul Broadwell is from JUNE. Come on people.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Sen. Kerry breaks promise to press

“Sen. John Kerry promised reporters he’d come out to the mics to talk after closed Benghazi briefing, then gives us the slip. Sneaky.” — Fox News’ Kara Rowland.

A journo has something good to say about Amtrak for a change, a GOP operative is going to flip out during his commute any day now and NBC MTP’s Betsy Fischer Martin has an observation about military marriages …

Read more

Quotes of the Day

D.C. book shop takes pride in Petraeus mistress video

“Kind of weird that the video circulating in most news reports of Paula Broadwell is of her reading from her Petraeus bio at our store.” — Politics & Prose.

Petraeus scandal fatigue

“*Yawn* Call me when they find pantless photos.” — Washington freelancer Sam Knight.

TV exchange turns Cillizza into toddler

On Monday afternoon WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza appeared on NBC Chief Foreign Correspondent Andrea Mitchell‘s MSNBC program.

Mitchell: “I’m not sure if that was Grover Norquist or Grover from Sesame Street.”

Cillizza: “Ahhh, poopyhead!” (Cillizza is referencing Norquist’s assertion that President Obama portrayed Mitt Romney as a “poopyhead.”)

Mitchell: (What appeared to be authentic laughter)

Reporter proposes new online law

“Tweeting a link to the 2nd or later page of a story should be punishable by death.” — HuffPost health care reporter Jeff Young.

Journo warns against bullshit spam

“Here’s a warning: stay away from opening anything from Zoosk, some bullshit social network thing, that will spam everybody you’ve ever known.” — Michael Wolff, contributing editor to Vanity Fair.

Sting is so dreamy

“To me, Sting is one of the hottest men ever to live.” — former Herman Cain Spokeswoman Ellen Carmichael.

Does General Petraeus sex scandal story have, ahem, long legs?

“I must say, Julian, that your notion of this story not having long legs is chalk full of raw irony.” — Fill-in host Michael Eric Dyson to Democratic strategist Julian Epstein, who appeared on MSNBC Monday afternoon and said he didn’t think the scandal had long legs (wink wink!).

Find out which journo’s husband snorts when he snores and which Politico journo is showing off his girlfriend’s pesto…. Read more