When Betsy sent me the link to listen to this week’s episode of “Sadly Lacking Radio” featuring DCRTV’s Dave Hughes as a guest I thought, “This will be fun.” But it’s not fun. And there’s a reason they’re sadly lacking a radio gig and it’s not a lack of options.

The SLR host was excited to have Hughes on because the last interview with him was “big in Australia.” But this show sounds so horrible even a dingo would refuse to eat it.

Nothing makes for a less compelling radio interview topic than a wannabe radio host talking about real radio hosts with someone who makes their living bitching about radio hosts. It’s so meta it’s meta. The worst part: Hughes goes on about his own site being such a high trafficked mecca that it crashed several times this week (that’s right, in the confines of his brain, it crashed).

So if you have an hour to kill, and sticking bamboo slivers under your toenails isn’t an option, but only because you don’t have enough bamboo slivers, give it a listen. But listen at your own risk. After I listened I began to resent the Mayans for being wrong.

Parasite and noted shitty speller “DCRTV Dave,” or Dave Hughes to those of you checking the Megan’s Law registry (I kid. I kid because…he’s kinda scummy), were in for a treat in the “mailbag” today.

“Shirtless in Shirlington” writes, “Hey Dave have you ever or would you ever do DCRTV DAVE TV shirtless like the FBI agent who sent his shirtless pix to the military broad?”

Dave replied, “I did do a shirtless ‘Dave TV’ episode last year, while I was shaving my head. All the “request for sex” notes I got from women (hello Betsy) and men was somewhat overwhelming so I decided to never do that again. Ha ha ha…..”

Here’s a little pro-tip for you, Dave… Read more

On Thursday, we began rolling out the results of our Summer Superlatives and today, you get to meet the rest of the winners. Thanks for voting.

Today’s results kicks off with the Best Dressed category. This cage match was between Politico’s Ken Vogel and Kate Nocerra, WaPo’s Jonathan Capehart, RCP’s Erin McPike, and CNN’s Kate Balduan. This contest wasn’t even close. While we had a feeling Capehart would be the clear winner, he was a very distant second to Kate Balduan! Congrats, Kate. Your prize is a $1 gift card to Fashion Bug!

Moving right along, we asked you to name Washington’s Best Writer. Your choices were The Weekly Standard’s Matt Labash, The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza, NJ’s Major Garrett, NYT’s Mark Leibovich, Ashley Parker and Maureen Dowd, WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty, HuffPost’s Eliot Nelson, and Washingtonian’s Luke Mullins. This one was a close one to call. It was a two-man race between Garrett and Labash, but in the end, Major Garrett came through and was voted the winner. It should be noted that today is Garrett’s birthday.

Which Washington journo is Most In Need of a Salad? We asked you to choose between Politico’s Jonathan Allen and Jonathan Martin, Slate‘s Dave Weigel, HuffPost’s Peter Cherukuri and Jason Linkins, FNC’s Bob Beckel and Bret Baier, and author and former TWTer Rich Miniter. This was another category where it wasn’t even close. The FNC team of Bob Beckel and Bret Baier were the heavy favorites and waddled walked their way to an easy victory.

Next up, we had the category that saw more votes than any other, Sexiest. Your sultry selections were AP‘s Steve Peoples, Atlantic Publisher Justin Smith, Washingtonian‘s Kate Bennett, Real Housewives of D.C.’s sassy stylist Paul Wharton, CNN’s Brianna Keilar, NBC4′s Doug Kammerer and Maynard Institute’s Richard Prince. The winner by a slim, sexy (and consenting) majority was Brianna Keilar.

On the other side of the coin, we have Who is Most In Need of a Makeover? Your choices were CQ Roll Call (the entire publication), The Daily Caller’s Matthew Boyle, TWT’s Stephen Dinan, Publicist Wendy Gordon, DCRTV’s Dave Hughes and Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher. Once again, this was a two-man race between Christopher and Boyle. While Christopher just looks generally disheveled, the overall train wreck that is Matthew Boyle was voted the winner. Congrats, Matt. We hear that Paul Wharton may be available to help turn you into a beautiful swan.

Last, but certainly not least, is the Best On-Air Personality. The heavy-hitters on this list were ABC’s Jake Tapper, The Daily Caller’s Tucker Carlson, MSNBC’s Chuck Todd, CBS’s Bob Schieffer and Nancy Cordes, HuffPost‘s Sam Stein, and WaPo’s Nia-Malika Henderson. At the end of the day, the experience of Schieffer couldn’t keep up with your winner, Jake Tapper!

Congratulations to all of our winners.

Quotes of the Day

Newt gives Chris Matthews a compliment (of sorts)

On MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning, former GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich called Chris Matthews “slightly whacked” and says that’s why he’s kept his show for so long.

Ingraham dings Deutsch and Dr. Oz

“OMG–Donny Deutsch & Dr Oz talking G Spots on CNN now. Get a room!” — Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham. MSNBC Contributor Donny Deutsch filled in for CNN’s Piers Morgan last night. They also discussed healthy versus unhealthy livers.

Politico Playbook Weirdness

See what happens when Politico‘s Mike Allen takes several days off?

“Did anyone else get a May 17 version of Playbook delivered this morning?” — PBS Newshour’s Christina Bellantoni. WCP‘s Managing Editor Mike Madden quickly replied, “Haven’t gotten it yet at all today. Been pretty screwy for few weeks. I signed up for official version instead of Mikey’s send.”

Bird commits attempted thievery against journo

“Bird just scared the sh*t out of me as it tried to steal my muffin. #AttackCafe” — FBDC and The Blaze‘s Eddie Scarry in an early morning tweet. Eddie later told me, “Seriously, it was like that movie ‘The Birds.’ They’re the tiny harmless ones but I was honestly afraid because they travel in flocks.” He added, “One bird flew onto my muffin (that sounds dirty) and picked at it before I shooed it away. But then several came to gang up on it.” Be safe, Eddie.

From the Peanut Gallery…“Today’s Style section has got to be the dullest the Washington Post has ever produced!!!!” — DCRTV’s Dave Hughes, who is really like family to FBDC.

Guardian features condom q

“@guardianstyle wear a condom or use a condom?” — Jessica Lake. In response, Guardian Style replied,”That’s a very personal question for a grammar microblog, Jessica.”

Journo questions Tina’s news judgement

“Why does Tina Brown think Americans care about the #british royal family as much as she does?” — Barbara Slavin, Washington correspondent for Al-Monitor.com.

And now, a semi-polite request from The Daily Beast columnist and MSNBC Contributor Meghan McCain: “If you are going to excerpt my book without permission – please don’t bastardize the context of my statements. The book is meant to be read.” Her new book: America, You Sexy Bitch.

Highly Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“Perfect park slope lunch: salami, mozzarella, eggplant and peppers sandwich from the pork store and granita from what used to be ozzies.” — The Nation‘s Ben Adler, who spent the bulk of Wednesday pouting about this item on The Nation‘s illustrious Editor-at-Large and MSNBC Host Chris Hayes. The only contender for this feature came from conservative blogger Robert Stacy McCain: “Just woke up from a LONG nap.” Thanks for sharing Stacy!

On Tuesday, we reported on notorious content thief, DCRTV’s dirty bearded Dave Hughes, who didn’t give proper attribution on a story we wrote on Buzzfeed opening a D.C. bureau. It’s impossible to write about Dave without pointing out that he has a piece of dead roadkill residing on his face, but some people have a problem with us talking about it. Like this week’s AnonymASS.

“WOW could you and DCRTV be more petty. How about everyone grows up and acts like adults. And comment on someone’s beard, ghee if he likes then who the fuck are you to call him out about.”

Memo to ASS: As difficult as it is to understand your sloppily written question, we’ll take a crack at it. Here’s the thing, ASS. Hughes is a thief. Plain and simple. Any self-respecting media outlet credits someone for breaking a news story. So the fact that we called him out on NOT doing that hardly makes us petty. As for the beard, how in the world are we not going to mention that thing? It looks like a hunting accident. That beard is what it would look like if someone took a nightmare, threw a bunch of gray hair over it and then hot glue-gunned it to a psycho’s face. Hope you enjoy the Memorial Day weekend.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a reason to write about that bearded weirdo, Dave Hughes, of DCRTV. We brought you the news earlier that Buzzfeed would be opening a DC bureau this summer. It’s been making the rounds. As is standard practice, legitimate media outlets have credited us and linked back to the story. We say legitimate because DCRTV doesn’t mention “FishbowlDC” and failed to link to the piece, but rather to the Buzzfeed homepage. Cute, Dave. Try to be a big boy and give credit where it’s due. Look a little harder for that link next time. Maybe it’s in that dirty beard of yours.

Sources tell FishbowlDC that DCRTV’s Dave Hughes is in financial hot water with his local news website. “He’s losing money in a major way,” our source told us on condition of anonymity. Hughes is telling friends and contacts that he brought in $40,000 last year, but his expenses are $60,000.

In the meantime, Hughes is asking everyone and his second cousin twice removed for funds — in the amount of $1000 a pop in exchange for advertising on his site. So far, most of the people he’s asking are turning him down, despite his bragging about having  a “big rolodex.” Hughes confided that he may have to sell the business as it appears to be about to “fall off the cliff.” He has also said he has had a good 15-year run and now may be the natural time to head off into the sunset.

We’re told that Hughes made up the $20,000 last year by dipping into his savings and using credit cards. What’s more — and this is pretty foolish — Hughes has not filed to trademark DCRTV. You’d think in all this time he would have thought to do this. Then again, the process requires immense patience, roughly $400 and when it expires you have to repay and refile.

The Big Denial

Hughes denies that his site is in any financial trouble and says he has never told anyone that the site might close. He’s careful in his wording. He also claims that he has never asked anyone for “a loan” which of course doesn’t mean that he has never asked anyone for funds or to purchase advertising in the amount of $1000 from his site. See his comment (i.e. the novella) he sent after the jump. We wish him the best of luck picking up the pieces.

Read more

Quotes of the Day

Journo finds horse shit in WaPo

“Jim Newell, this could win a ‘reverse Pulitzer’ for shittiest article of 2012.” — The Guardian‘s Richard Adams to the ex-Gawker Political Editor. Adams linked to a WaPo story by ex-Style Editor turned campaign trail writer Ned Martel about Ann Romney and her deep love of horses. Romney is strangely into dressage…which is, er, horse ballet.

Rush’s bro stirs the pot

“At some point, conservatives better realize how organized the left is & how determined they are to silence our side. We ignore at our peril.” — Lawyer and syndicated columnist David Limbaugh, who will likely talk to you on the record providing you’re a conservative journalist.

Journo discusses blowjob workshop

“And then the term ‘blowjob workshop’ came up. Apparently one was covered by a journo here. Huzzah!” — WaPo Express‘s Clinton Yates, who previously tweeted about “fisting.” We have no words for this one.

Emily issues a special warning!

“Warning: the season finale of #Bachelor airs now and I will watch and tweet even though US Weekly spoiled the end.” — TWT‘s Senior Opinion Editor Emily Miller.

Journo Clusterf&%k!

FNC’s Ed Henry: “Wait WHAT??: After answering Q on Afghan, Santorum said: “I’m the only person in this race that has any experience as commander in chief”. BuzzFeed’s Zeke Miller: “Erin McPike reports Santorum said ‘TO BE’ commander in chief. RCP’s Erin McPike: “Ed Henry, we listened to it several times – it was ‘to be.’ That was my mistake.”

Perplexing…

“I don’t understand people who exercise at the gym wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt, or boots for that matter.” — Don Irvine.

Classic Dave Hughes: The Thief

“CNN lifts commentator Roland Martin’s suspension after homophobic Tweet during Super Bowl” — DCRTV’s Dave Hughes acting like he broke the news that CNN has lifted Roland Martin‘s suspension. Watch out, D.C. scribes. Traditional attribution rules apparently don’t apply to him.

Journo sets goals for himself. Are they elusive?

“Goal: Someday, I will have ‘people’ who file expenses for me. I’ll also have children, who will make expenses for me.” — Military Times‘ Dan Lamothe.

Journos conjure up stupid questions for Carney

“Jay, was Bo’s run across the South Lawn yesterday an official event or a political one?#thingsthatwontgetasked” — NBC News’s Shawna Thomas. “Who paid for the pooper scooper and plastic baggies?!?!” — Politico‘s Jennifer Epstein.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“I’m at Blue Duck Tavern (Washington, DC) 4sq.com/zmFC8p” — Washington Life‘s Executive Editor Michael Clements.

The intrepid Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

We couldn’t resist watching the latest in “DaveTV”, the online TV show that DCRTV’s Dave Hughes produces from his rape dungeon home office. It’s a case study in an unstable maniac who thinks that anyone gives a rat’s ass what he has to say about the media, or anything else for that matter. His knowledge is thin. He’s notorious for blatantly swiping content from any and every Washington media outlet (except for Washingtonian‘s Carol Joynt since he’s her acting ass kisser publicist). His laugh will give you nightmares. His beard looks like someone ran over a squirrel and stapled it to his face. But, there was something oddly familiar about that look. Then, it struck us! Hughes is The Lorax from the Dr. Seuss books and film.

DCRTV’s Dave Hughes posted a Happy Birthday message to himself yesterday over on his website. It’s a sure sign that you have a fulfilled life full of meaningful relationships when you have to remind everyone that it’s your birthday. Since Mike Allen didn’t tell us about it in Playbook, we missed it. So, Happy Belated Birthday, Dave. So, here are our Top 3 Birthday Wishes for you..

1 – We hope that you get another glowing profile like this one from Washingtonian. We can only hope that WaPo will get around to including you in their weekend section. If not, GQ may come calling for tips on how to maintain a “Squirrelly and Discolored Metal Beard.”

2 – That someone gives you a huge gift box with a bow on top that is filled with new sources and story ideas so that you don’t have to go regurgitate other people’s content without giving them credit.

3 – That someone buys you a mall gift card so you can replace those filthy looking military fatigues that you have on all the time.

Just in case you missed his birthday wishes to himself, Dave continues the celebration today.