Jon Stewart: “Frequently when we’re away on vacation we hear of distressing news… so when I came back to work today, I was so excited to look under my pillow and see what the news fairy had left me and I was kinda disappointed to find a golf club and some broken glass, and this two idiots…” And so the clip begins.

Also, “Daily Show” correspondent Aasif Mandvi on his invitation to the State Department lunch, not dinner. “I got to meet Kal Penn… again.”

And did you know Jason Jones was there? “I don’t need invitations, I’m a white guy with a tux and a hot blonde wife,” the “Daily Show” correspondent ribbed.

There’s even a special appearance by new senior news correspondent Edward R. Brokaw-Amanpour.

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