Quotes of the Day — State of the Union-Fugitive Edition

SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” – Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

“Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

• “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.

• “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.

• “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

• “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.

• “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.

• “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… Read more

The annual Fashion For Paws benefit is two months away and Joe Guerriero, publisher of Human Events, really wants people to attend. Not for him, but for his wife, who will be primping and prepping the dogs backstage.

“I never do this type of stuff, but as many of you know, my wife Jenn is an avid dog lover and dog trainer,” Guerriero wrote this morning in an email blast to a handful of media types, including FishbowlDC. “Last night she strong-armed me into reaching out to some folks I know in hopes there might be some dog lovers among you.”

Later in the email Guerriero urges recipients and their friends to purchase tickets to the event and explains that until last year, he wasn’t aware “that the show brought out a veritable ‘who’s who’ D.C. crowd.”

Noteworthy names CCd on the email include… Read more

Though he participated in a well-documented Twitter fight back in 2009 with TWT‘s Emily Miller, it appears actor Kevin Spacey has forgotten who she is.

“I don’t know she is,” he said when asked if we could send Miller his regards at the red carpet premier of Netflix’s “House of Cards” last night at the Newseum. FishbowlDC explained that Miller tipped off the FBI about details surrounding the Jack Abramoff scandal, as portrayed in the film “Casino Jack,” starring Spacey himself. “Oh,” Spacey said, sort of recalling who Miller is. “Hi! Sure. I don’t know what you’re asking me,” he said. Then his handlers moved him along.

“House of Cards” tells the story of Francis Underwood, played by Spacey, a congressional Democrat who wheels and deals his way to the top of the political world. Michael Dobbs, the creator, told FishbowlDC that he wrote the story “as a form of therapy” after having worked as the chief of staff to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the late ’80s.

The Washington news corps. plays a heavy, fictional role in the show, which is based on the original 1990s BBC series of the same name. James Foley, one of the show’s directors, said while working on story lines he’d ask himself whether it would be believable if he saw it reported on CNN. If not, he’d ask the lead writer for adjustments to the script. He also said actual on-air talent from CNN make cameos in the show, including… Read more

Quotes of the Day — the Inauguration Edition

PRIORITIES: “Obsessed with Ashley Biden’s shoes.” — BrandlinkDC’s Barbara Martin, among the organizers at the “Artists and Athletes” soireé at DC Coast Monday night.

Young girl voices what she wants from POTUS in next four years

“Um, I want him to take away the guns from other people, because for a girl like me it kind of scares me if I got killed.” — 8-year-old girl at The Dubliner bar this morning on MSNCB’s “Morning Joe.”

Flack melts down about Capitol Hill gridlock

“I’m pretty sure every cross street in DC is blocked. It’s virtually impossible to get back to Capitol Hill. No rhyme or reason.” — NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh just after midnight Tuesday morning. And three minutes later…“Someone explain to me the security decision behind devoting 6 cops to shutting down 7th & M. There is nothing around that area at all.” More: “Understand. I’m all for security. Just seems like complete overkill.” He concludes on a bipartisan note…“To be sure, also remember it taking 3 hrs to go 12 blocks in 2001 for first GWB inauguration wknd. Should leave DC ”

Other complaints…

• “Pro Tip: no matter how bad you think the traffic is in DC..it is 100 times worse than that.” — The Cook Report‘s Amy Walter. A follower snapped at her, saying, “Amy Walter, quit whining; u don’t live in Los Angeles. Take public transporation! [sic]“

• “Another trip to DC where I only used Uber. Simply a brilliant service.” — RedState and CNN’s Erick Erickson.

• “I concur with what @EWErickson just said. I’ve discovered how great uber is in DC, especially considering how shitass the cabs can be here.” — BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray, who recently moved to Washington from Manhattan. Everyone can congratulate Rosie on finding her new apartment — it’s in the Bloomington neighborhood of D.C.

• “Dupont Circle on Inauguration Weekend=everything I hate. SO MANY BROS, GET ME OUTTA HERE.” — National Journal political reporter Elahe Izadi. Hmmm…so many bros?

• “Took nearly half an hour to hail a cab. Happy inauguration!” — Greenwire‘s Jessica Estepa.

• “Heading home. DC streets closed 5 hours earlier that supposed to. #gridlock #inaug2013 (@ In An Uber w/ 3 others)” — Poshbrood travel blogger Elizabeth Thorp.

• “You really, really want to avoid driving w/in several blocks of WH right now. Street closures taking place. 18th St near gridlock.” — Roll Call‘s Steven Dennis.

On Michelle Obama’s new bangs: “I think the bangs are fantastic.” — Vogue‘s Andre Leon Talley, on “Morning Joe” this morning in a flamboyant black fur coat.

Washington Watch and CNN’s Roland Martin on Inauguration morning.

Actress Ashley Judd strikes a pose last night in the kitchen of Atlantic Publisher David Bradley, where she hung out for a good while, chatting up HuffPost‘s Howard Fineman, Bloomberg‘s Margaret Carlson and a swell of fine, crusty Washington D.C. men with varying amounts of ear hair. (More on the swanky Downton Bradley party later…)

TV journo marvels over empty Metro car

“Its very quiet INSIDE Capitol & amazingly Metro train car I was in was empty, completely empty. 4 years ago it was packed.” — NBC’s Kelly O’Donnell at 6:08 a.m.

Journo hopes to survive inauguration sans illness

“Last week, I thought #inauguration would be a race between me and my iPhone battery. Instead, it’s a race against my own immune system.” — WaPo‘s Maura Judkis.

How to Make it All About Me?

“I’m at Capitol South Metro Station (Washington D.C., DC)” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch at 6:19 a.m.

Important Question to Ponder: “It’s okay to take DayQuil with a vodka martini right?” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak.

D.C. Celebrity Watching: “Been playing ‘I know that celebrity from that scene in that movie where he looks [adjective here] but what is his name?!’ all night. Tired.” — The Hill‘s Alexandra Jaffe.

“President was sworn in today. Mon is the ceremonial event and speech. I elected to skip the party & hoopla and not attend Mon’s event.” — Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah).

ABC “The View’s” Sherri Shepherd needs help

“Ashley pooped in Jeffrey’s bed, peed on Jeffrey’s carpet, chews his socks. If you come back & help me @cesarmillan, I’ll make you dinner :O)” — Sherri Shepherd, our new favorite Twitter obsession. Only Sherri can bring “poop” and “dinner” together into one sentence.

Party banter and — gasp — an insult for Kerry Washington.

Read more

Quotes of the Day

STEIN’s NEW DAWG: “Meet the newest addition to my family.” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein, following in the footsteps (we hope) of Fox News’ Dana Purina (or Perino) and her beloved Jasper.

Romance at the Kucinich household

“Mmm. I could get used to this…breakfast in bed served by my perfect husband Dennis Kucinich. Something to be said about our new schedule!” — Elizabeth Kucinich on her ex-congressman hubby.

Paul Wharton drenches himself in cashmere

“It’s freezing outside… Looks like ill be in cashmere all weekend long and I love it!!!” Hey boo! Sending u love! Bundle up!” — Real Housewives of DC star Paul Wharton to his boo,  food and restaurant blogger BJ Coleman.

A backup plan for Chuck Hagel

“Howard Kurtz, if Hagel loses he can be the anchor for Gore Jazeera.. perfect fit.” — WaPo‘s right-wing blogger Jennifer Rubin. President Obama has nominated ex-Sen. Chuck Hagel to be Sec. of Defense.

Huh?

“Deadly flu season set to be moderate to severe.” — WTOP on the flu season, which is expected to be “deadly” unless it’s moderate….or severe.

The weekend’s most uplifting headline: “Retired firefighter, dog named Pumpkin credited for saving Bowie woman.” — WaPo.

Kurt Loder, Patrick Kennedy, and marijuana laws

“Oxycontin enthusiast Patrick Kennedy opposes marijuana legalization.” — Ex-MTV VJ Kurt Loder, a columnist for Reason magazine.

Is this a prank phone call? 

“Pizza Hut just called about our order. They’re out of pepperoni. Really. Did every single house in Washington order pizza for this game?” — CNBC’s Eamon Javers, who then asked, “Is your refrigerator running?” (Joking…)

Sunday complaints

“Meet the Press is ideological advocacy journalism. It’s fine, do your thing, but be honest about it.” — Seth Michaels, writer for the Working America website.

“Any rational person that watches George @GStephanopoulos interview a GOP official and then a Democratic official will see his bias. #phony” — Ex-Mitt Romney aide Richard Grenell, who does spots on media criticism for Fox News.

Radio journalist finds relief from hacking cough and BuzzFeed’s Bureau Chief has a stern warning for Washington State lawmakers… Read more

By Betsy Rothstein and Eddie Scarry

We asked Washington journalists to tell us something they want or something they want to happen in 2013. There’s a few New York-based political scribes sprinkled in here. Here’s what they told us.

CBS Chief White House Correspondent Major Garrett: “I want political courage and skill commensurate with that demonstrated by our armed forces and diplomats in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and other places of peril since 9/11.”

The Daily Caller‘s Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson: “I’d like to catch more trout. And I plan to.”

The Weekly Standard‘ Matt Labash: “I’m hoping this is the year in which  the internet finally craters. It’s had a good run, but nobody ever shuts it off.  So after all this relentless exposure – after everyone having their say, then saying a lot  more – we now get sick of people in minutes that used to take us years to get sick of otherwise. Which is why I’m pulling for less connectedness, and more solitude. Less digital. More analog. More wondering what people think, instead of knowing, then being disappointed. Less concern about trending topics. More concern with staying unconcerned about what everybody else is concerned about. Also, I think 2013 is going to be the Year of Joey Lawrence. He’s due. And with the internet disappearing, we’re going to need something/someone to fill the void. To teach us how to live again. To show us the old ways.”

WJLA’s Rebecca Cooper: “My wish list for 2013: 1) Jayne Sandman’s body WITHOUT Jayne Sandman’s workout schedule; 2) Pamela Sorensen’s social schedule WITHOUT Pamela Sorensen’s late night hours; 3) Dana Bash and Susanna Quinn’s Super Mom abilities WITHOUT Dana Bash and Susanna Quinn’s early morning wakeup calls; And – the thing I would most like in 2013: 4) to see my friends who cover politics without having to go to New Hampshire or Iowa in winter or Tampa or Charlotte in August to see them.”

Raptor Strategies’ David Bass:  “Shock and awe.”

FishbowlDC and Current TV’s Full Court Press Co-host Peter Ogburn:  ”Peace, love and harmony finally coming to the nation’s capital. Also, I’d like to see a fistfight between Tim Grieve and David Martosko.”

FishbowlDC and The Blaze‘ Eddie Scarry: “I’d like Politico to be the first news organization to genetically engineer a reporter with a Blackberry for genitals. Makes anonymous sourcing of political operatives that much easier.”

Queen Levine (a.k.a. radio correspondent Mark Levine): “In 2013, I’d like to see mediabistro get just a few basic facts right. Jon Stewart has proven you can be snarky and a journalist. (If you want to just make shit up, that’s fine too, but then you gotta know you’re doing it and be funny. Like the Onion. Good luck in 2013! And let me know if you need help understanding any of the hard words above. Like ‘journalist.’” (We suspect Levine’s snappy answer is in response to the drama queen’s appearance on our year-end list. He never misses a chance to brag about himself. Long live the queen!)

Current TV’s David Shuster: “In 2013, I want the baby Kera and I are having to come out healthy and happy and to possess a little more tact and patience than me — In other words, be like his/her mother.”

The Hill’s Managing Editor Bob Cusack: After about a year in the works, I finished a new screenplay this month (It’s not about politics). I hope to sell it in 2013. I also want to see Barney Frank get on Twitter in the new year.

Tommy Christopher, Mediaite White House Correspondent: “Besides fetch? In 2013 I really want a federal assault weapons ban (including semiautomatic handguns) with Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s NFA grandfather clause, and a federal firearms registry with a psychological fitness test, to happen.”

The Daily Caller‘s Jeff Poor: “Just off the top of my head, I’d like to see…1) Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher go away — go back to selling men’s suits or something 2) Political journalists to stop acting enamored with Robert Griffin, III and Bryce Harper as if they’re life-long Washington, DC sports fans 3) Media Matters’ Eric Boehlert to find Jesus or some other form of organized religion of his choosing and have a little love in his heart 4) Someone to remind me why BuzzFeed Politics exists.”

SiriusXM’s Julie Mason: “In 2013, Gov. Rick Perry needs his own talk show, a la Huckaboom (but sassier). There must be world recognition of the massive journalistic skills of Josh Rogin, Josh Lederman, Andrew Harnik and Meredith Shiner. We should also pause, as a nation, to admire Suzanne Malveaux‘s new, longer hairstyle. Because that shit is awesome. Also, my favorite shows need to quit the nine-month hiatus between seasons. That is really annoying.”

WaPo‘s Jennifer Rubin: “Real entitlement reform. Gumming up the Obamacare works. Republicans champion immigration reform.”

WJLA’s Steve Chenevey: “Can we extend the telecommuting concept to journalism? I’m all for home studios in 2013. Would love to get PR pitches more than a day in advance. And the freedom to critique viewers on their choice of outfit for the day. Not that I would ever do that, but overly opinionated viewers never seem to surprise me.”

See more wishes… Read more

What’s next, a bus ad like Carrie Bradshaw?

The Washington Times’ Senior Op-ed writer and former aide to ex-Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) Emily Miller is now pictured on newspaper boxes around town in a new ad campaign that began last week. This one was spotted in swanky Georgetown. As you can see, the box is empty, so maybe the advertising campaign is working. One question: Why no picture of her handgun?

“I saw it for the first time walking down the street in my neighborhood and stopped dead in my tracks from the shock,” Miller told FishbowlDC when asked about it. “It was definitely my Carrie Bradshaw moment, though she was half dressed on a bus, but still, it’s cool. The best part about the cards is it sends a signal to the gun grabbers on the City Council that I’m tracking their every move!”

See a close-up after the jump… Read more

Quotes of the Day — The Gratitude Edition

Happy Thanksgiving fishies. We’ve gathered some of our favorites this morning for your reading pleasure. We’ll see you back here next week unless WaPo‘s Ezra Klein grows a mustache, Politico‘s Ben White gets in another fight with a hotel desk clerk, Mother Jones Washington Bureau Chief David Corn goes bald or something else unseemly happens.

Elderly woman grabs journo’s thigh

Important Question to Ponder: “In the age of smartphones, why are there still people yelling out their cars windows asking me for directions?” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

Ode to ex-boyfriends

“Dear all ex-boyfriends: WHY COULDN’T YOU FUCKING TURDS BE HERE GETTING KILLED BY STRAY CRANES RIGHT NOW.” — Daskrap.com‘s Moe Tkacik.

Important Question to Ponder II: “Pundit friends is it kosher to ask TV chauffeurs to roll down the windows & blast biggie smalls on their way to TV hits?” — InTheseTimes labor journo Mike Elk in an Al Jazeera ordered Lincoln Town Car.

Bureau Chief defends Christmas

“I get it’s hip to hate on Christmas. but that’s like hating grandmas. I mean, grandma has some crazy ass ideas, but she’s STILL GRANDMA.” — BuzzFeed Bureau Chief John Stanton.

A journo’s dark thoughts: He wants to scare the presidential pardoned turkey

“Shouldn’t the president maintain at least a little suspense with the turkey pardon and enter the room with a large knife or neck wringer?” — WSJ‘s Neil King. Nice idea, Neil!

Fake Jim V. weighs in on military sex scandal

“Really having a hard time separating Gen. John Allen and @jonallendc today,” writes Politico‘s Seung Min Kim. To which Fake Jim VandeHei responds: “Hint: The General is the one getting laid.”

Necessary Tweet of the Day: Pre-Thanksgiving fatness 

“Put on my suit and saw how ungodly fat I’ve gotten. Took a Xanax so now I don’t care so much.” — MetroWeekly co-publisher Sean Bugg.

How to Make it All About Me… See if you can guess who is being all self-centered right before Thanksgiving. Plus, a convo between two journos…

Read more

Quotes of the Day

BIRTHDAY GIRL: “Bom dia Rio. Thanks sun for coming out today on my birthday eve.” — USA Today travel writer Nancy Trejos.

Ouch!

“Maybe if Holly Petraeus spent a little less time at the CPFB…….” — Free Beacon‘s Michael Goldfarb.

Right-wing writer concedes one nice thing about Obama

“The one — ONE — thing I agree with Barack Obama on is that Homeland is the best show on TV.” — TWT senior ppinion writer Emily Miller.

From a very nerdy Dept. of Bragiculture…

“Cool moment. Ran into Sen. Leahy just now at DCA. We talked about Phish. He said his son knows Trey. He’s a Dead guy but loves Phish, too.” — National Review Online‘s Robert Costa.

Reporter makes desperate plea for coffee

“One million preteen kids just boarded my metro car. Save me. #havenothadenufcoffeeforthis” — WSJ bank reg reporter Victoria McGrane.

The Ass Kisser

“Very interesting piece here by @DylanBiers.” — Commentary‘s John Podhoretz. (Last week the pair was bickering until PodWhore realized Byers wasn’t actually insulting him. Now they’re in love. )

Scribe says other woman’s hubby is alleged douchebag

“You’re a pretentious douchebag if Dear Abby isn’t good enough for your problems and you have to seek out the NY Times ‘Ethicist’ columnist.” — The Daily Caller TV writer Jeff Poor. (The Ethicist received a letter frighteningly similar to the situation swirling around Paula Broadwell, alleged mistress to General David Petraeus.)

And this from a facetious Politico reporter… “Dear Ethicist: I work in an information security-related field but am considering writing explicit and career-destroying emails. Help me?” — Politico‘s Alexander Burns.

The Complimenter

“The 2013 Calendar sent out to all its print subscribers reminds me of what an amazing photographer team @washingtonpost has on its rolls.” — WSJ‘s Raju Narisetti, formerly of WaPo.

NPR’s Andy Carvin works on final edit of his book in Istanbul, a publicist weighs in on latest sex scandal to rock D.C., a CNN Contributor has a problem with his hip flexor and two straight journos have a gay convo… Read more

Washington D.C. Chief of Police Cathy Lanier has lashed out at TWT Senior Op-ed writer Emily Miller for insisting that she picks good-news crime stats to hide the crime spike in Washington.

“First of all any reporter who doesn’t understand UCR by now and reports that way, I’m sorry, they just shouldn’t be a reporter,” Lanier told WTOP.

So Miller did what you’d expect — she wrote about it, saying, “the police chief attacked me viciously.” Miller told FishbowlDC, “I fully understand the difference between UCR and DC crime stats. If Chief Lanier saw something incorrect in our paper,  I think she’d ask for a correction. She did not. Instead she attacked my professionalism and intelligence on WTOP!”