Journo feels guilty about potty time: #1 or #2?

“Just used the bathroom and felt guilty about it. #filiblizzard #RandPaul.” — The Hill‘s Feature Editor Emily Goodin.

Senator’s filibuster alters reporter’s TV watching habits

“I don’t usually turn on C-SPAN for evening entertainment when I get home, but curiosity has gotten the best of me tonight.” — FNC’s Shannon Bream.

Speaking of the filibustering senator…

“Louie Gohmert brings Halls cough drops and a giant ass Kit Kat bar to Rand Paul on the floor.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

Uh oh.

“Could you dorks please stop telling what Rand Paul is eating? Mkay? Thanks.” — Politico‘s Ben White. (We’re not trying to start anything, but did White just call Stanton a dork?)

Incest Desk: “Congrats to my talented wife @BetsyMTP on becoming senior ep at MTP!” — Politico‘s Jonathan Martin pointing to — what a shocker — a story on Politico‘s media blog. Wonder how they got the news!

The Stakeout

“What have I been doing the last two and half hours? Standing outside across the street from Obama’s meeting with some Senate Republicans.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.

Advice…“Most bosses have their ugly sides, and it’s the staffers’ role to hide that from the world.” — Roll Call’s new advice columnist Rebecca Gale tells Capitol Hill aide who works for a “yeller” that he or she should stay quiet about the boss’s temper. Read the whole saga here.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 9 a.m.

Tucker Carlson mocks “losers” on Twitter

“‘I’m not seeking their approval,’ he says of detractors. ‘Why should I care if a bunch of losers on Twitter don’t like it?” — The Daily Caller‘s Tucker Carlson in a story this week by WaPo‘s new faux ombudsman Paul Farhi, who prefaced the above, writing, “In the face of withering criticism of his site’s reporting, Carlson is unbowed.” Farhi focused his largely easygoing story on Carlson and The Daily Caller and did not interview WaPo reporters on their reporting regarding the Sen. Bob Menendez hooker debacle that went down between The Daily Caller and WaPo this week. Read the full story here.

National Review‘s Jonah Goldberg on fatherhood… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

SHOWOFF: “Sunset over the Gulf of Mexico in Boca Grande, FL, 2/28/2013″ — FNC’s Brit Hume.

Conventional wisdom

“So non threat to Woodward is a problem cuz jr reporter might not be able to stand as courageously agst non-threat as Woodward. #truth.” – TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Angry Ass Convo Between Two Journos

The conversation is between The Weekly Standard’s John McCormack and BuzzFeed’s Andrew Kaczynski.

John McCormack: “Politico article on abortion issue includes two quotes–one from Planned Parenthood and one, for balance, from ACLU”

Andrew Kaczynski: “@McCormackJohn Lot of balance in those Weekly Standard Chuck Hagel stories.”

John McCormack: “@BuzzFeedAndrew Well, at least they’re more balanced than Buzzfeed’s articles on gay marriage. Also: We don’t pretend we’re not ideological.”

Menendez: No more hooker q’s for now

“No questions for Menendez about his controversy. Seems he’s reached a point where he can talk about other things.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson on Sen. Bob Menendez (D-N.J.).

Producer is “all screwed up” when walking

“After living in London I never know which way to look for cars. Totally screwed me up.” — FNC Senate Producer Kara Rowland.

A little help from your friends

NYT‘s political correspondent Nick Confessore: “Packing and moving an apartment is like waiting for the Time-Warner guy, in hell, for infinity.”

NYT‘s Washington Bureau Chief David Leonhardt: “@nickconfessore Just wait until you’re simultaneously unpacking and waiting for the Time Warner guy.”

Goofball FLOTUS pool report

“FLOTUS pool report from @jestei ‘I am sorry I am unable to provide you with the lid, as FLOTUS has none. (Stock pots, maybe.)’” — NYT‘s Jonathan Weisman. A “lid” in pool reportese marks the conclusion of a day’s formal events.

Necessary Tweet of the Day

“I’m going to try stovetop smoking salmon tonight. (I decided I needed more alliterative cooking processes.)” — Slate and NYT‘s Farhad Majoo.

Uh oh. “Anyone else ever mean to send a text and send a Tweet instead just by force of habit? Dangerous.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

See who made our FishbowlDC Fan Club Board. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

WISH YOU LIVED HERE? “My view while riding the Bay Trail today.” — Markos Moulitsas, editor of Daily Kos, who lives in Berkeley, Calif. and is a weekly columnist for The Hill.

“Because I was wrong at the top of the lungs,” — GOP Pollster and Pundit Dick Morris‘s explanation for why he was canned by Fox News, as told to CNN’s Piers Morgan last night.

Journo Love

“I am always in awe of the gorgeous & talented [PBS Political Director Christina Bellantoni] @cbellantoni, looking ravishing in blue tonight as a co-host of this Congressional dinner.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner. The Washington Press Club Foundation Dinner was held last night. CBS Chief White House Correspondent Major Garrett was the emcee.

“Politico girls wear color.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson, who appeared in the above photograph with her coworkers Rachel Bade (center) and Juana Summers (right) at the Washington Press Club Foundation Dinner.

Ouch!

“Would have been far more fun to have actual polling experts make fun of Dick Morris instead of someone who clearly knows nothing. #thisisCNN” — Media Matters’ Justin Whitehouse, reacting to Morris’ appearance last night on CNN.

And now, a little praise for Piers

“Thanks to @piersmorgan for broadcasting my tweet: ‘If Dick Morris can be fired for being wrong and dumb, that means no pundit is safe.’” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

The roller coaster continues…

“You’re all part of the problem, people tweeting about Dick Morris. Just know that.” — Logan Dobson, research analyst, The Tarrance Group, a GOP polling firm.

“Dick Morris is still an asshole who needs a good solid ass-kicking #CNN” — GOP Consultant and HuffPost and StoneZone blogger Roger Stone.

How often does Gavin Newsom Google himself?

“Never. For me, digging into all the negative stuff out there is just too distracting.” — California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom in a Politico “Answer This” questionnaire by Patrick Gavin in which he also admits that he never skimps in cost on hair gel. Hey, at least he admits it. Read the full interview here.

Politico Playbook publish time: 9:13 a.m.

Wanted: Publisher

“WWR seeks publisher to turn history tweets into a book of colorful presidential stories/facts. Big marketing platform. westwingrpt@gmail.com” — Paul Brandus, author of WestWingReports, columnist, The Week.

Cat defiance

“Cat blatantly peed outside litterbox in front of me. Dislike of emergency litter (dirt) or anger over yesterday’s vet visit?” — Anneke Green, former TWTer who now works for the White House Writers Group.

Conservative Radio Host Laura Ingraham: “Dept. of Who cares? What’s on Michelle Obama’s playlist?” Ingraham was reacting to this feature in People mag.

Speaking of FLOTUS…

“Last week, we picked Napa cabbage in the garden. Now, we’re using it to make kimchi in the kitchen. Make it at home.” — First Lady Michelle Obama.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

West Wing Sophia: Sophia Nelson, columnist for the theGrio.com and Essence, visited the White House last week and snapped a few pictures.

“This stage [is] always available to you if you ever want to finish that Al Green song,” — David Rubenstein, Chairman of the Kennedy Center to President Obama last night at the Kennedy Center Honors. Quote taken from a White House Pool Report by The Hill’s Eric Wasson, who referred to Alec Baldwin as “Alex” Baldwin and corrected himself in the next Pool Report.

German ex-journo predicts punch in the groin

“Today has been an utterly horrible day. I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody punched me in the groin on the way home.” — Klaus Marre, formerly of The Hill and The Daily Caller, in a Facebook update. (We hear he has left journalism and wants to start his own business.)

Travel Bitches

• “The flight to North Dakota, already held up an hour, is being delayed further because “the flight attendant left her manual at the gate and we have to retireve [sic] it.” Sometimes, Delta, you’re better off lying.” — Bloomberg News‘ Alan Bjerga.

• “Attendant on my Delta flight from Boston delays boarding by jetway full of coach passengers to take drink orders, hang coats of 1st class.”  — CNBC and NYT‘s John Harwood.

• “Amtrak WiFi. An utter exercise in frustration. That is all.” — Yahoo! News senior editor for politics and news Beth Fouhy.

Just in case you wanted to know where Jake Tapper was this weekend…

“Reminder to Fort Hood area tweeps: from 11AM to 1PM CST I’ll be signing books at the FORT HOOD EXCHANGE Building 50004, Clear Creek Road.” — ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper. That would be for Tapper’s book Outpost if you haven’t heard of it (but we’re sure you’ve heard about it in a few thousand of Tapper’s tweets as of late).

Confessional

“I delete so many tweets, you people have no idea. I’m the Dr. Kavorkian of inappropriate 140 character utterances.” – BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

“You spew such bullshit…I now know why you are rarely on CNN anymore. Your act is tired.” — ClearChannel‘s Colby Hall to CNN Contributor Roland Martin. (The pair were engaging in a lot of sports trash talk this weekend. We suspect their friendship will survive it.)

Being a real reporter is when this happens

“There’s nothing that makes me feel more like a real reporter than getting kicked out of someplace I’m writing about.” — Mother Jones D.C.-based reporter Stephanie Mencimer.

The Fashion Critic

“Geithner rocking the Ironman watch on all the Sunday shows. I like it.” — Politico congressional reporter and fashion expert Jake Sherman.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

Politico’s Ginger Gibson has a “serious” question and an anonymous tipster reveals a few things about her colleague, Tim Grieve. Also: find out why a NBC News desk assistant was feeling semi-violent over the weekend… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Naturally, Twitter had a field day. Reuters‘ Sam Youngman was thoroughly impressed with the tire salesman. He tweeted, “I have finally decided on my vote for Time’s Man of the Year: The Costco employee who tried to upsell Biden some tires.”

Plenty of others weighed in…. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Not sure what it says that a photo of me bloated with a pillow under my shirt is my most-liked Instagram photo ever.” — Catherine Andrews, Director of Digital Content at Home Front Communications and former Editorial Director at Washingtonian.

Home for the Holidays

“Nothing like grandpa showing his tooth abscess to everyone one of us before dinner.” — Politico Pro web producer Caitlin Emma.

“Mom is regaling the guests w her theory that Bobby Kennedy had Marilyn killed w a poisoned enema to not leave marks. Kill me now.” — Publicist and former ABC “This Week” producer Courtney Cohen.

“Just realized I am stress eating chips & queso as my parents are grilling me about GOP options for 2016. Dinner has taken a nasty turn.” — House Maj. Whip Spokeswoman Erica Elliott. And on Thanksgiving: “When I announced I was going to take a shower to try and exfoliate this spray tan, my family literally cheered. Apparently it’s that bad.”

“I accidentally stumbled into a birds-and-bees conversation with my nephew, which led to me saying, ‘No, it’s not called a ‘virginia.’” — MetroWeekly Co-Publisher Sean Bugg.

“Ugh. Had I watched this Kentucky game in my apartment instead of my mom’s home, there’d be holes in the walls.” — Reuters’ Sam Youngman.

“Thanksgiving at the Ericksons involves 6 dozen eggs, 21 lbs of butter, and now 9 lbs of bacon. 4 cakes, 5 pies, 20 lbs of turkey, & 17 ppl.” — CNN Contributor and RedState’s Erick Erickson.

“Yumm. Here is my obligatory turkey photo.” — Politico’s Ginger Gibson. 

Hagman gave NPR director’s Nana a Texas twang

“Claudine, our director, sez her Egyptian grandmother learned English by watching Dallas. She now has a Texas accent. RIP Larry Hagman.” — NPR’s Scott Simon.

Journos get emotional around Thanksgiving

• “My uncle, God rest his soul, made squirrel and rabbit jerky for us as kids. Miss his smart aleck remarks about other fam during holidays.” — Breitbart.com and CNN Contributor (well, if that’s what they’re calling never appearing these days) Dana Loesch.

• “iPad photo app creators, thank you for hours of family fun. #sincerely” — ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper.

• “Just watched “Love Actually” for the 147th time. Still tear up at the end.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

• “A special thank you to our service men and women for their service and sacrifice. We are thankful for you all. #thanksgiving” — NBC “MTP” Host David Gregory (Just what the troops were waiting for, a shout-out from Gregory.)

• “My uncle just got a call from the hospital and they may have found a kidney donor! So happy for@veerichie‘s daddy! All my love to Toronto!” — ABC7 reporter Jummy Olabanji.

• “I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m thankful Caribou is open this morning.” — NBC Washington’s Matt Glassman.

• “The crash of Jesse Jackson Jr. Is a tragic end to a career that once seemed to have no limit. Very sad for him, his family & constituents.” — President Obama‘s top campaign advisor David Axelrod.

A WH Correspondent gets into holiday spirit

“Vaguely wish the White House had named the turkeys ‘Congress’ and ‘Syphilis’ and then crowdsourced which one gets pardoned.” — Yahoo! News’ White House Correspondent Olivier Knox.

And BuzzFeed‘s Kaczynski gets all grateful and neighborly…

“Yes neighbor loudly playing his bass while families in my apartment building sit down together for dinner, you are an asshole.” — BuzzFeed‘s Andrew Kaczynski on Thanksgiving just before 3 p.m.

Paul Wharton misses chance to stuff himself

“Y did I refuse to take a plate of Thanksgiving Food from my cousin’s house?! Now I want turkey and stuffing & all I have is Salad! WTF!?” — Real Housewives of D.C. Stylist Paul Wharton.

Baier Vomit

“Good morning! Happy Black Friday. Are you shopping today? My wife, Amy, says she might try – I’ll be with our boys far away from the mall!” — FNC’s Bret Baier.

Ambien Adventures

“If you take Ambien and forget to stop and go to sleep, it actually makes you stay more awake. Kinda crazy, eh? 730A & I’m still up.” — Elizabeth Lauten (a.k.a. DCGOPGirl and CNN iReporter) on the day after Thanksgiving.

Important Q to Ponder: “Possibly stupid cooking question: Can I use whiskey bourbon (Crown) in a savory recipe that calls for bourbon?” — Conservative writer and blogger Lisa De Pasquale.

One Bureau Chief has stroke of good luck and another warns journos about sobriety checkpoint…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

While at the Democratic convention, Roll Call HOH‘s Neda Semani live-tweeted former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist‘s speech. The governor suddenly became a very high ranking figure. “It kept correcting Crist to ‘Christ,’ which I didn’t realize until after,” Semani told FBDC.

Politico‘s Ben White has had his own issues with spelling software. “Not for nothing but my spell check wants to change ‘Stephanopoulos’ to ‘postmenopausal,’” he tweeted last month.

Jen Bendery at HuffPost has also felt the sting of auto correct. “I usually catch auto-correct mistakes before hitting send,” she said, “but one thing that is super annoying (and happens all the time) is when I hurriedly write ‘seriously’ and ‘aerioauky’ fills in.” Bendery said she wasn’t sure if aerioauky is a word. (We’ve consulted an American dictionary and confirmed it is not.)

And on and on it goes. Below is a compilation (undoubtedly an incomplete one) of the trials and tribulations journalists have had with auto correct:

Slate‘s Dave Weigel told us no matter how many times he types in his “favorite phrase,” his phone always adjusts it to say “I don’t give a shot.”

Last year WaPo‘s Tim Craig sent out a tweet that was supposed to be about D.C. compensating fire department workers. It ended in a much messier tweet (emphasis ours): “Also, couldn’t argument be made 24 hours shits would be cheaper for city,” Craig wrote. “Big fires last hours, so more OT would be paid if 12 hour shifts?”

Over the weekend, Fox News’ White House Correspondent Ed Henry tweeted, “Adventures in Auto-correct: ‘We made a pistol at Shake Shack’ — um ‘pit stop’!”

Last month Reuter‘s Sam Youngman tweeted, “Today’s traveling tune: ‘Home Sweet Home’ by Mötley Crüe.” The dots above the “o” and “u” are called umlauts. AP‘s Henry Jackson tweeted at Youngman that he was “impressed” by them.. “Not me. Auto correct knows how to party,” said Youngman. Jackson replied, “I always suspected auto correct had a hard-rock streak in him/her.”

Goodie two shoes Tim Wong, who works on WaPo‘s mobile design team, said he proofreads his messages and hasn’t had any auto correct mishaps. “I learned to never depend on spell check in J-school,” he said. Wong added, however, that auto correct is “probably one of the cardinal enemies of the Twitter hashtag.”

SiriusXM/P.O.T.U.S Radio’s Julie Mason has also faced down the curse of the correction function. “I constantly ask others to ‘wait a sex,’” she said. “I had a colleague once whose byline, via auto correct, became ‘John Maggot.’”

And in a pool report last month, Yahoo! News‘ Oliver Knox noted that David Plouffe‘s last name “generates all manner of oddball auto correct suggestions.” In the Firefox web browser, suggested replacements for “plouffe” are “souffle” and “pouffe.”

Freelance video journalist Markette Smith told us she “always” has problems with auto correct. In the past she sent texts meant for her husband to her boss twice. Thankfully it was “nothing too damaging.”

Avid conservative tweeter Kevin Eder wrote last month, “I don’t even know why I bother tweeting from my phone. It never, ever ends well. #typos #errors #fail”

BuzzFeed‘s Andrew Kaczynski tweeted in September that he “often get[s] in trouble” typing “it’s” verses “its” thanks to auto correct.

Our favorite comes from WaPo‘s Erik Wemple. He experienced a particularly awkward screw-up while corresponding with an executive at Allbritton Communications (his employer at the time). The executive had asked Wemple to do something. “I was happy to comply with the request and was in a rush, so I wrote ‘NP.’ That is, short for “no problem.” But auto-correct rendered it as ‘NO,’” Wemple said. Needless to say, he had to smooth things over.

On the other hand, there’s the ever cautious ABC 7 daytime anchor Steve Chenevey. To avoid mishaps, he has done what many may eventually do — he turned off his work phone’s auto-correct feature. Safe and sound.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Congratulations to…MSNBC’s Willie Geist for being hired for the 9 a.m. hour of The TODAY Show. He will no longer do the Way Too Early program but will continue to have a presence on Morning Joe. The NYT broke the news.

Did the Holocaust happen?

“Well, the historical reality of the Holocaust is a complicated subject. If you’re a lunatic.” — The Atlantic‘s Jeffrey Goldberg on CNN Piers Morgan‘s interview with Iranian President Ahmadinejad in which Piers questions the foreign leader about the Holocaust. Ahmadienjad quickly grows annoyed by the premise of the question.

And an interview tip for Piers…

“Would be hilarious if Piers asked Ahmadinejad a true odd ball, like: ‘Don’t B.S. me here, what was your favorite season of Real Housewives?’” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein.

Convo Between Two Media Types

CNN Contributor Ari Fleischer: “In DC, he doesn’t call congressmen. In NY, he doesn’t meet w many foreign leaders. What DOES President Obama do??”

WaPo‘s The Right Turn blogger Jennifer Rubin: “Golf, golf, the View, golf.”

Important Q to Ponder: “What do you call a Full House reunion without the Olsen twins? (Whatev it’s called, John Stamos still looks hot it it!)” — Cheryl Thompson, Social Media Editor for NBC Washington.

Ouch! Journo insults senator 

“How is it possible that Harry Reid can be such a fierce flamethrower and still be so boring?” — BuzzFeed‘s McKay Coppins.

From the Trail…

“Just pulled into the Cincinnatian Hotel. Wonder what city we’re in?” — NYT’s Mark Leibovich, who was obviously in Tallahassee on Monday.

Girl Power on Campaign Trail

“Of the nine print reporters on the road covering Mitt Romney today, only one, Zeke Miller, is a guy.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.

And right on cue, speak of the devil…

“THERE AREN’T ENOUGH WOMEN IN POLITICS!” — MSNBC Contributor and The Daily Beast Columnist Meghan McCain.

The Daily Download‘s Lauren Ashburn asks, “Hmm. What wld happ if the State dept guy who wrote this F-U memo to a reporter was a woman?” Unfortunately she doesn’t go on to tell us more and instead gives a basic aggregate. Come on Lauren, write the story!

News of the absurd.

“Overheard on sidewalk, from elderly woman with British accent: ‘What does “DC” stand for?’ #almostasbadasaskingwhatUKstandsfor” — Ariana Pekary, radio producer for The Bob Edwards Show.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“He’ll be insufferable now.” — MSNBC “Morning Joe” Contributor Mike Barnicle reacting to TIME‘s Mark Halperin role in “Game Change” winning four Emmys last night. Halperin wrote the 2010 book that later became a movie with New York magazine’s John Heilemann.

Luke says Dad is among the ghosts

“.@brainsalsa Great shot. He’s there with the ghosts Bruce mentions.” — NBC’s Luke Russert, in reference to a picture from a Bruce Springsteen concert. After Salsa wrote and told him he’s in the front row of a Springsteen concert and misses Luke’s dad “a ton,” Luke tells his new acquaintance that Tim Russert is among the ghosts. Um, creepy?

Arianna says buon giorno to HuffPost Italy 

“Arrived in Rome for the launch of L’Huffington Post Italia.” — AOL-HuffPost Editor-in-Chief Arianna Huffington.

Important Q’s to Ponder: “Why am I sitting in traffic in LA at 7:30 on a Saturday? Don’t people have somewhere to be already?” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.

Scribe notices peculiar blend of hotel guests

“Interesting vibe in my hotel. 3 conventions going on: funeral directors, financial planners, Rwandans” — WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty.

Dowd dismisses Stuart Stevens

“You get the sense that the strategist considers himself cooler than the candidate, that he’s too hip to walk through fire for Mitt and that he lacks confidence that Romney could be a better campaigner. He treats Mitt like a cardboard cutout, never asking him to risk anything or pushing him to be big, bold and inspirational.” — NYT Columnist Maureen Dowd in reference to Mitt Romney‘s Campaign Strategist Stuart Stevens in her Sunday column.

Reporters get shaft on Romney plane

“In the 2 hours the press was off Romney plane in SD, a new curtain has been installed to separate the reporters from the staff section.” — NBC News’ Garrett Haake.

Ana Marie unveils her weekend plans

“Boyfriend has mysterious journey planned for bday: ‘wear comfortable clothes, bring toiletries, and something nice for later.’” — The Guardian‘s Ana Marie Cox.

Speaking of the weekend…

“Rihanna, thanks for being the song in my head. Cheers to the freakin’ weekend… I drink to that, yeahh yeahhh.” — Politico Publicist Olivia Petersen.

Preacher Sophia gets prayed up  

“Boy do I have a whole LOT to say-God is doing some stuff in and for me. It’s kinda scary, crazy, wonderful. When I get back 2 VA will share!” — Essence and theGrio.com columnist Sophia Nelson.

Self-appointed media critic

“This MTP roundtable is really good. @JoeNBC vs.Bay Buchanan is exquisite.” — Politico Capitol Hill reporter Jake Sherman temporarily parts with his Phish obsession to watch MTP.

Noteworthy: AP‘s Kasie Hunt appeared on the Fox News Sunday panel for the first time this weekend.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“You can’t hear me. Isn’t that convenient?” — MSNBC’s Chris Matthews Wednesday night during an interview in which he snapped at Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer on immigration policy. Brewer said she couldn’t hear him and questions were translated through a third party. Needless to say, something was lost in translation.

Yoohoo Robert Allbritton, you listening?

“I’m not a TV person. They don’t give me a fancy wardrobe budget, I’m a real American.” — Politico Executive Editor Jim VandeHei on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” Wednesday morning. During the segment, Mika and Joe ragged on him for his black New Balance sneakers. Above is how he responded.

Yahoo! News‘s Washington Bureau Chief David Chalian on the joke that got him canned Wednesday: “I am profoundly sorry for making an inappropriate and thoughtless joke.”

Wisdom is…

“People say dumb stuff constantly. Do you read Twitter???” — BuzzFeed Political Editor Ben Smith.

Vandalized?

“Rising GOP star Mia Love’s #Wikipedia page vandalized overnight with racist and sexist slurs fxn.ws/OsaMsm” — Fox News. Was the page stabbed?

GOP Convention Security Vs. The Media

“I swear to god they change the security check points every hour to fuck with the reporters.” — Salon‘s Irin Carmon.

In a moment of sister solidarity…

“I want to know WHO the sister SECRET SERVICE AGENT is who is assigned to @PaulRyanVPshe has a cute BOB! FIERCE! Do it girl! #sistersupport” — Sophia Nelson, columnist for USA Today, Essence and theGrio.com.

As well as true admiration…

“@GOPconvention security guy just told me he’s hit the beach in Clearwater every day this week#RNC2012 #imdoingthisallwrong” — Roll Call HOH’s Warren Rojas.

Gov. Christie noshes on the media

“I understand that folks in the media have nothing better to do but to do that stuff they want to see controversy I understand that because these conventions have become per packaged shows and you all want have something different to talk about.” — New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie in a Wednesday night interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan on the floor of the Republican National Convention on the extreme critiques of his speech from the night before.

John Harwood needs lifetime supply of Rolaids

“How spell relief? Fixing audio prob, finishing convo floor live shot 1 sec before delegates start nat’l anthem. #nickoftime #rolaidsmoment” — CNBC and NYT’s John Harwood. In December of 2011, he had another R-o-l-a-i-d-s moment when he wrote, “Nothing spells relief like being late for a school concert — to find you are just in time for your kid’s performance.”

Gwen’s pen explodes

“When u watch my @NewsHour intvu w @marcorubio tonite, know an ink pen exploded all over minutes before cameras rolled. #glamor” — PBS’s Gwen Ifill.

Ryan Speech Fallout

“Oh fuck Ryan listens to Zeppelin too, oh fuck how did he turn out like this?” — InTheseTimes labor journo Mike Elk.

Reporter admits spoiled ways

“I’m so spoiled riding in motorcades with the roads closed, I’m now sitting in traffic not understanding why the police don’t clear the way.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.

Star Sighting: Sissy Spacek

“In other news, pool reporter spotted actress Sissy Spacek standing outside Obama’s campaign office in Charlottesville today.” – HuffPost‘s Jennifer Bendery.

Huckabee now ‘wallows’ in the media

“Oh it’s true, I’ve fallen from the high perch of politics and now I wallow in the mum of the media, but I still know as a country we can do better.” — Fox News host Mike Huckabee rips not one but two of his careers in a speech last night at the GOP Convention.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Not exactly health food

“The kids are winners of a contest to create “original lunchtime recipes that are healthy affordable and tasty. Guess my grilled cheese with bacon, chocolate morsels and mini-marshmallows didn’t stand a chance.”  – CBS’s Mark Knoller, tweeting about the Kids’ “State Dinner” at the WH that will feature healthy food creations from students.

Brothers from Another Mother?

“Cab driver naming “great politicians:” Marion Berry (sic) and Bill Clinton #onlyinDC” – Politico’s Ginger Gibson

Who’s Your Daddy?

“Random kid in the supermarket line just turned to me and said, “Are you my daddy?” – Politico’s Byron Tau

Fashion is her Passion

“Can we take a 20-sec. TO to talk about the female Dem Sen fuchsia jacket trend?” – Roll Call’s Meredith Shiner, who posted this pic of a BRIGHT Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO)

Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Journo shares his squid: “This is the best crispy squid/calamari I’ve ever had.” — WaPo designer Tim Wong.

Late-night *&^%$# WH Pool Report

“Your pooler is delighted to report that the arrival was entirely uneventful. After a nighttime approach that reminded your pooler just how *&^%$# privileged he is to have this job, Marine One touched down on the South Lawn at about 9:04 pm Clustered journos got a quick wave as President Obama walked into the residence, trailed by the usual gang (Carney, Plouffe, etc)… (‘*&^%$#’ is pronounced ‘golldurn’)” — Yahoo! News‘ Olivier Knox.

No fruit for Zeke?

“I just don’t understand, Zeke Miller, next to me on the plane says ‘I don’t eat fruit.’ But it’s so delicious.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson on Buzzfeed‘s Zeke Miller.

From the Dept. of Insanity

“Let’s face it. We’re all a little bored with the Olympics. So at 1015 tonight switch over to Fox News & see me on @gretawire’s show.” — Bloomberg TV Contributor Neil Barofsky, whose name on account of this tweet should be Barfsky.

Skittle overload

“I have that feeling I’ve eaten too many Skittles on a long car trip — about this campaign.” — NYT‘s Mark Leibovich.

Newsflash: GOP Victory Chair and possible Lt. Gov candidate Pete Snyder is officially a Fox Contributor as of this week. He says  ”I feel like I just got drafted by the New York Yankees.”

Travel encounters…

“Child in line won’t stop staring. Maybe she’s blinded by my beauty. Maybe she’s terrified by the job I did putting on mascara in the dark.” — Erica Elliott, Comm Director for House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.).

Journo marvels over new cab

“Just hopped in a cab, and it is literally brand new. I’m his first ride. What are the odds? Not used to good non-Uber forms of DC transport.” — Politico apparently very high James Hohmann.

Ahh…memories

“Last party at an aquarium I attended ended when an employee micturated on the penguins #tampa” — NJ‘s Jim O’Sullivan. The definition of micturate is: urinate.

Obama makes sock joke to press

“As press looked on, Pres Obama mock-boasted ‘No holes the my socks. My grandmother would be proud.’” — CBS White House radio reporter Mark Knoller. AFP‘s Stephen Collinson further explains the moment in a White House Pool Report: “When he was done, he stopped to get his shoes and sat down on the edge of the mat right in front of the pool to put his shoes on in a rather unusual photo op. CBS’s Peter Maer commented  ‘very presidential Sir.’” And Obama responded above.

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Quotes Of The Day

“Twitter is really becoming a zoo of rude, selfish people.” — FNC’s Greg Gutfield to his colleague Rick Leventhal.

Journo braves Air India Airport Lounge

“Some Russians just showed up at the Air India lounge: one mullet, two neon wife-beaters and a huge cloud of eau de something.” — Former D.C. journo for The Hill Peter Savodnik, now a freelance writer based in New York.

Necessary Tweet of the Day

“Had a very realistic, nightmarish dream.” — Greenwire‘s Jessica Estepa.

Congresswoman never had heart attack?

“Former Rep. Diane Watson is moderating the AKA #boule2012 town hall. Contrary to reports in March, she said she didn’t suffer a heart attack.” — CNN and Washington Watch’s Roland Martin over the weekend. Every pub from the LAT to the Sacramento Bee reported news of her heart attack and recovery from the health issue. The LAT appeared to hear the news straight from the horse’s mouth. She told a reporter in a telephone interview, “I’m feeling good. I just came from my doctor, and there is no damage to the heart.” She added that doctors were monitoring her for possible blood clot problems.Watson retired from Congress in 2011.

Baier Vomit: Twitter Help Desk

FNC’s Bret Baier: Retweet RT @rosmy100us @BretBaier @OMemmieG WHAT IS THE MEANING OF RT? SORRY FOR MY IGNORANCE.

Travel Complaint Desk…

Politico’s Ginger Gibson, who was traveling today, faced what she dubbed were “ridiculous” delays at the Delta and United gates of Reagan National Airport.

1. Starting today’s outing with the longest TSA line I’ve ever seen at DCA. Totally ridiculous. What is going on??? 2. Glad I came to the airport early to get food. Too bad I won’t actually be able to eat now. 3. Well, at least the woman who was rudely yelling at the airline employees to tag her bag is now way behind me in line. #karma. 4. Well, at least the woman who was rudely yelling at the airline employees to tag her bag is now way behind me in line. #karma 5. Once on board, Gibson had more complaints. “Ugh. A two and a half hour flight with no onboard wifi or television. How did people fly cross country before inflight wifi?”

For ABC “Bachelorette” watchers… funniest comment came from Dr. Jill Biden (fake account) who remarked, “Jef had to leave Emily’s family because he was late for a rumble with the Greasers.”

Spotted: Current TV’s David Shuster dining al fresco with a woman Friday night at Levante’s, a Mediterranean restaurant off Dupont Circle. She was believed to be attractive and thin with long hair (I’ve implored Eddie to get more details next time).

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

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Punditry warning: “Reminder to be wary of punditry. NBC/WSJ pollster Peter Hart: data shows ‘it’s been a good month electorally’ for Obama.” — NYT and CNBC’s John Harwood.

The Observer

“I love how random people just want to tell me what they think about politics all the time.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.

Pulitzer Prize winner’s dog takes a dump

“My dog just had the biggest poop of her career.” — WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten. Unfortunately he didn’t offer any pictorial evidence.

Griping journo

“Fer Chrissakes. Are we going to work through every single member of Congress and ask whether they’re attending conventions?” — WaPo‘s left-leaning blogger Greg Sargent.

Convo Between Two Journos

Isn’t this cute? This morning’s conversation is between Politico‘s Dylan Byers (an expert, just ask him) and The Washington Examiners‘ Gossip Girl Jenny Rogers. Listen up journos. There’s lots to glean here. Not really, we just wanted to use that word.

Byers: This Huffington Post piece lifted all the relevant info from a Buzzfeed piece and provided no new reporting.

Rogers: Dylan, how is Huffpo different from any news organization that aggregates? Not trying to pick a fight, just wanting your opinion.

Byers: Jenny, Sure, most sites that aggregate either push the story forward w/ new reporting, or aggregate to incentivize clickthroughs.

Rogers: Dylan, I find most “new reporting” or “added value” or whatever is usually pretty flimsy. I think most news sites are guilty here.

Byers: Jenny, certainly they are not the only offenders.

Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

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But seriously…congratulations to the happy couple, photog Jay Westcott and video producer Madeline Marshall, on POLITICO’s first wedding proposal, a publicist wrote us. In Politico humor, they have officially WON THE AFTERNOON. And if you don’t believe us, you’ll see it proclaimed in Politico Playbook in the morning just after 5 a.m. if a certain author keeps to his regular schedule. Here, we’ll give him a head start.

SHOT: The couple has been together for two years. Jay was a guest speaker in the Madeline’s photography business class at Corcoran College of Art + Design, where she earned her BFA in photojournalism. CHASER: This afternoon she thought they were prepping for a video shoot.

The first blip we noticed about the engagement came from Politico livestream superstar Ginger Gibson who cracked the news on Twitter,  saying, “Well, that was a break from the normal day, there was just a proposal in the middle of the POLITICO newsroom.” To which CNN’s Lizzie O’Leary quickly asked, “What?! Who?!”

To the happy couple: We hope VandeHarris lets you take off for your honeymoon. And Jay, please don’t contemplate reading Marco Rubio books on your honeymoon like  a certain colleague (cough, cough Jonathan Martin). On a positive note, we do hope you’ll let Mike Allen officiate the nuptials.

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