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Posts Tagged ‘Greg Gutfeld’

Morning Chatter

Quotes of the Day — State of the Union-Fugitive Edition

SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother JonesNick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

  • “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.
  • “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.
  • “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.
  • “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.
  • “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.
  • “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… Read more

Morning Chatter

Quotes of the Day - the Oprah-Lance Armstrong edition.

From the Dept. of Bragiculture…

“WE BEAT GAWKER BY 25 MIN ON BANGS STORY!” — WaPo‘s Reliable Source on finally getting a story within spitting distance of another gossip outlet. The item concerned first lady Michelle Obama’s new hairstyle, which involves bangs.

The Media Observer

“Favorite line from inaug committee warning abt Metro: ‘You will have to stand in close proximity to several thousand people’” — NYT‘s Washington Deputy Bureau Chief Carl Hulse.

Editor wants Christian Mingle to leave him alone

“Dear Christian Mingle, stop sending me emails.” — Eboné Bell, Managing Editor of Tagg magazine, Hip Hop Cardio Instructor, & Founder of Capital Queer Prom.

Oprah’s masterful interview skills

“Oprah rules. She is REALLY good at this. Just a master interviewer.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. Also: “Lance is the least sympathetic apologizer possible. I feel ZERO empathy with him.”

“Oprah is a hell of a good interviewer.”– CNN’s Jeffrey Toobin.

“This is as much am exercise in journalism as confession. The packages Oprahs guys are dropping in help people who are new to the story.” — NYT‘s David Carr.

“I’m not feeling Lance but I’m loving Oprah. She is a first class interviewer.” — Washingtonian Publisher Cathy Merrill Williams.

“I love Oprahshe just goes straight in! #BOOM” — Essence and theGrio columnist Sophia Nelson.

The Best of… on Oprah & Lance

“Oprah tells crowd to look under their chairs where they discover rotten vegetables to throw at Lance. That interview I would watch.” — ReutersSam Youngman.

“Every asshole should get to do an interview with Oprah.” — New York Daily NewsJosh Greenman.

“Mike Wallace would have filleted Lance Armstrong like a fish.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

(Fake Oprah Question): “Did you ever have sex with a dead wizard’s body for magical powers?” “Yes” — The Guardian and Salon freelancer Jim Newell during the “yes or no” only portion of the interview.

“For the judging media, remember the ‘culture’ that allows for enhancements that help your job (whisky, Adderoll, whisky).” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

“I read his book, I supported LiveStrong- so awful to watch him tonight – he seems mostly sorry he got caught!” — NBC4′s  Doreen Gentzler.

“So Lance’s drug use was real and Manti’s gf was fake. Got it.” — USA Today’s Jackie Kucinich.

“I feel like this is a public therapy session.” — CNN AC360′s Devna Shuka.

“If I’ve learned anything from this Lance Armstrong interview, it’s he’s a high school girl. Stab you in the back without breaking a sweat.” — Social Media Editor for NBC Washington Cheryl Thompson.

“If Lance Armstrong cared about ratings, he would have done interview on 60 Min. Not a cable network nobody watches.” — Alex Conant, U.S. GOP Sen. Marco Rubio‘s press secretary.

“You did not just make a fat joke to Oprah.” — Lizzie O’Leary, whose Twitter bio says simply, “apsiring Hildy Johnson.”

“When does Oprah roll out the wagon of fat?” — ClearChannel‘s Colby Hall. Also: “First clue that I am not on one of my regular viewing channels: seeing ads referencing transvaginal mesh.”

“Fun continuity game: watch water levels in Lance & Oprah water glasses for edit jumping. Straws are an odd touch, too.” — Politico‘s Steve Friess.

Daily Caller reporter takes nasty swipe at CNN’s Piers Morgan...

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Separated at Birth: Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld

Strangely enough, when Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld smiles, he looks just like Sen. Roy Blunt, the junior Republican senator from Missouri. Stay focused on their mouths. Gutfeld may also have a strain of Alfred E. Newman in him. Have a look.

What’s Dana Tweeting?

Every so often, we like to check in with Dana Perino of Fox News to see what she’s sharing with the world. Most of the time, Dana is tweeting about her son dog, Jasper.

Let’s just get right to it, shall we? Here’s one of the most bizarre pictures of the dog that Dana has EVER tweeted with the caption, “He must have realized what ‘getting tutored by the vet on Tuesday’ really means.” I can honestly say that I have no idea what she’s trying to say. Did she mean neutered? Does she think Jasper really knows? Why did she show us yet another a doggie-porn-crotch-shot of her canine?

It only gets weirder… Read more

Morning Chatter

Quotes of the Day

“600 sheep must have died to make that fleece.” — FNC “The Five’s” Greg Gutfeld regarding New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s pullover. Gutfeld recently received a sexist award from the Women’s Media Center for referring to Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as “Frizzilla.” We think this proves that he’s as much anti-fat people as he is against women with bad hairdos.

Politico producer looking for ding dongs

“Anyone got a box of Hostess Ding Dongs that they’re looking to get rid of?” — Politico‘s Caitlin Emma.

Convo Between Two Journos

Bloomberg Business Insider‘s Joshua Green: “U a dope who paid $500 for Twinkies thinking they were going extinct? DM me for a trend piece.” HuffPost‘s Sam Stein:” I did (is this how u use dm?)”

Question NEVER to ponder: “Is it a law of Chapstick buying that you will lose your chapstick within 7 seconds of buying it? Or is that just me?” – U.S. News & World Report‘s Jason Koebler. Pssst Jason…it’s just you!

Is Sherri Shepherd leaving The View?

“Need to ask for a job application @HomeGoods – as much merchandise as I moved its only fitting I go back and help clean up!” — ABC “The View’s” Sherri Shepherd.

Quote Taken Out of Context

“@TheFix Your bottle of Sex Panther cologne has just been Amazon-ed.” — Politico‘s White House Correspondent Glenn Thrush to WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Journo tries to lure journos to event via Petraeous

“Gen. Petraeus is coming to ‘Politics and Pints’ tonight. Are you? (Ok, he isn’t. But you still should.)” — WaPo‘s Cillizza, trying hard to get people to attend his Politics and Pints trivia night at the Cap Lounge.

Following the mistress: a pointless practice?

“I fail to see the journalistic benefit in following Paula Broadwell wherever she goes.” — Mother Jones blogger Adam Serwer.

Journo wonders about journo posture

“Standing desk types: How do you square with laptop use? Standing up, but laptop means bad posture, head angle.” — Politico‘s Patrick Gavin.

Obama and Boehner: Black and Tan

“Obama and Boehner are working on their new budget compromise, a Black & Tan.”  — Conservative Commentator and author Ann Coulter.

Journo becomes his father and Trump offers yet another useless opinion…
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D.C. Journos Win Awards for Alleged Sexism

Not all awards are meant for resumés.

Some Washington journalists are among those getting recognized for being sexist in their political coverage. Name It. Change It., a non-partisan project of She Should RunWomen’s Media Center, and Political Parity that aims to combat what they call “widespread” sexism in the media, began publicly informing winners this morning on Twitter.

Among the award winners: HuffPost Social Media Editor Ethan Klapper for an allegedly sexist slideshow; HuffPost Style fashion writers Lauren Rothman and Christina Wilkie for what the organization deems as sexist fashion reporting; and FNC “The Five’s” Greg Gutfeld and Kimberly Guilfoyle for referring to Florida Democratic Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as “frizzilla.” Guilfoyle remarked, “I gave up perms a long time ago.”

We reached out to HuffPost for reaction. Klapper had no comment and referred me to HuffPost Publicist Rhoades Alderson. The others did not immediately respond to our request. UPDATE: See a comment from Alderson after the jump…

Name It. Change It. gave HuffPost their Award For Creating Sexist Standards For Women in PoliticsRead more

Project Fishbowl: FNC’s Dana Perino & Jasper

Welcome to our relatively new feature, “Project Fishbowl”, in which we take photographs and anything else we find worthy of analyzing and put it through severe scrutiny. Kind of like TV’s “Project Runway”, but with a fishy twist. Today we have Fox News “The Five” host Dana Perino with her beloved dog, Jasper, who sometimes poses in what look to be pornographic poses. Today she tones it down a little. As an FYI: Sometimes we invite guests to appear on Project Fishbowl. Today is no exception.

Betsy: Adorable Jasper sound asleep after breastfeeding.

Peter: This is a really sweet pic of Dana and Greg Gutfeld.

Eddie: The curl in her lips
The ice in her stair
The innocent children better beware
She’s like a spider waiting
for the kill
Look out for
Cruella De Vil

Piranhamous: It’s often said that “men are dogs.” In this case, every heterosexual man, and even some gay ones, wishes that were true. For a few minutes, anyway.

Deep Sea Dweller: “Hi. My name is Dana. I’m 40 years old, love long walks on the beach, dogs, and nights in curled up on the couch. I’m looking for someone to switch spots with my cute pup.”

The Daily Caller‘s TV writer Jeff Poor:  It looks like a pose that’s like one of those maternal magazine celebrity covers with Jessica Simpson, Snooki and their respective children that haunt you at the grocery store checkout line. At least it didn’t cross this threshold (see disgusting picture after jump…)

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What’s Dana Tweeting? The Sandy Edition

By now, we’ve seen the destruction that Superstorm Sandy bombed onto the East Coast Monday evening. Hopefully, you all prepared and stocked up on batteries, non-perishable items and such. We know that FNC’s Dana Perino‘s dog, Jasper, certainly banked some sleep. We know this because Dana tweeting out a picture of him cat-napping before the storm hit.

In fact, she kept us in the loop on the dog’s happenings all throughout the storm… Read more

Cy-Fi: Greg Gutfeld Confesses to Hangover On Live TV

Where we watch MSNBC’s The Cycle and Fox News’ The Five so you don’t have to…

After a brief stay in Washington on Tuesday to celebrate the upcoming release of his new book, The Five‘s Greg Gutfeld returned to New York City yesterday. On the show, he confessed to having too much fun in D.C.

While discussing congressional hearings regarding last month’s attack on a U.S. embassy in Libya, Gutfeld said the Obama administration is “spinning more tails than a tuxedo factory.”

After a short but awkward silence, Gutfeld graded his joke a “B.”

“That was okay,” co-host Dana Perino said. “And that’s being generous,” bleated other co-host Bob Beckel.

Gutfeld explained the lackluster joke. “I was off yesterday. I have a little bit of a hangover,” he said. Viewers across the country might have thought this in itself was a joke. But during an interview with FishbowlDC on Tuesday, Gutfeld said at one point he was “drawing a blank” because he had previously had “four wines.”

That interview took place at 7:30 p.m.

Boob Expert Shows up to Gutfeld Book Party

Walking into the Breitbart Embassy last night was sort of what one imagines walking into Michael Jackson‘s old home: Stationed in the living room was an ice cream stand with the Good Humor man. Outside was a petting zoo with ducks, bunnies, an alpaca and a tiny horse. And walking around the whole house was Nancy Leonard, an accordionist dressed in traditional Swiss clothing, who prides herself on being able to walk and play music at the same time.

“Do you know what the difference between an accordionist and an entertainer is?” Leonard asked FishbowlDC. “An entertainer can walk and play. Most accordionists have to sit and read the music.”

Leonard is a former breast implant specialist for the FDA. “I helped all kinds of people,” she said. “I helped men, women, transvestites… anybody.”

Also roaming around the zoo was former Sen. Fred Thompson (R-Tenn.).

The Embassy was hosting a party for FNC The Five‘s Greg Gutfeld who has a book coming out next month. Gutfeld’s book, The Joy of Hate, is dedicated to the late Andrew Breitbart. It’s a commentary on the knee-jerk reaction people have to cry foul at anything and everything. Gutfeld said young and old people as well as “people that are not young or old” should read the book.

Party invitations inexplicably featured an old ’90s TV screenshot of Gutfeld from when he worked for Men’s Health. In the photograph, a buff Gutfeld is in a tank top and has a high-top haircut. “How dare you,” he said when we brought it up.

More Gutfeld and pictures…

Read more

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