The Observer

“You have to admit, a Senator Geraldo would NOT be dull.” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren on the prospects of her colleague Geraldo Rivera getting plucked for the New Jersey Senate seat upon the death of Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D).

Speaking of whom…

“Flags around the Capitol complex to be lowered to honor the late-Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ).” — FNC’s Chad Pergram.

Weingarten likes big butts!

“Miss The Hunt? Check it out in photos, including The World’s Most Ginormous Butt.” See the WaPo feature that “humor” columnist Gene Weingarten is promoting here. It’s not that surprising that the “ginormous butt” jumped out at Gene considering his daily fixation on the anal area.

Howard Kurtz writes something funny

“Joe Biden cancels summer press party. Crisis for Beltway journalists. Maybe Holder would invite us over instead? I mean, off the record?” — CNN and Daily Download‘s Howard Kurtz.

Actors and lawmakers: soulmates?

“I never understood why Hollywood was always at odds with DC. There are more liars in Hollywood than in Congress. Veritable soulmates.” — Stephen Rodrick, Men’s Journal, NYT Magazine.

Anonymous email to FishbowlDC: “Washington Times shuttle to stop? Maybe they’re instituting hack service.”

Ron Fournier gets emotional

“Get measured today for tuxedo at my daughter’s wedding. (Sniff.) Would it look weird if I cry during the mid-seam measure?” — National Journal‘s Ron Fournier, when he can tear himself away from MSNBC and spend a little time on Twitter (and yes, we’re being facetious).

Congrats to… Justin Snow, who has been named political editor at Metro Weekly. Previously he was a political reporter at the publication.

Morning Love Note

“While the rest of us speculate and guess, @chucktodd reports. Informed insight on @Morning_Joe now.” — NJ‘s Ron Fournier ass kissing NBC’s Chuck Todd.

 Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public.” — Rio-based author Paulo Coelho.

“Check out this dog’s two toned tongue – wasn’t easy to get pic of it.” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren.

Breakfast anyone?

“I just spit oatmeal out of my mouth. @Morning_Joe @morningmika @JoeNBC #deadlynecessity” — WaPo and MSNBC Contributor Jonathan Capehart this morning.

Blogger appreciates booze-free outings

“I heart impromptu escapades w/new & old pals that actually don’t leave you hungover.” — Pamela’s Punch blogger Pamela Sorensen. On May 29, she wrote, “At @BOURBONSTEAKDC drinking a G&T bc I freaking need one.”

Journo has advice for ex-Obama aide, journalists

“Time for my meds. Y’all have a good one. All except you, @davidaxelrod. Reflect. Ask yourself how much you’ll sacrifice for bromance.” — Former Reuters political reporter Sam Youngman. And this: “DC journos, break the cycle. Self-importance is an addiction. [NYT's Frank] Bruni’s column today is straight freaking heroin. Put it down. Back away.”

Kurtz clarifies what “no injuries” means

We thought CNN and Daily Download‘s Howard Kurtz was taking a little break from tweeting to smell the roses and breathe after parting ways with The Daily Beast amid a bunch of weird errors? Well, not really. On Saturday he felt some need to promote a WaPo story about a plane crashing into a Herndon apartment building. He wrote, “Incredible story (and picture) of Cessna crashing into a Virginia home and no one hurt. Just missed sleeping child.” Except that there were people hurt — at least two people, in fact. Kurtz corrected himself, writing, “Meant to say no one was killed when Cessna crashed into Virginia home. Three injured. But still a miracle if you look at the pictures.” The story reports that the pilot was seriously injured and that the passenger was treated for minor injuries on the scene. That adds up to two. A photo caption for the story does report that “authorities say” three people suffered minor injuries but the story doesn’t back that up. Scratching our heads on who that third injured person was, but glad that six WaPo reporters were on it.

Journo prefers “clueless” over “stupid”

“Email this morning: ‘You are either clueless or plain stupid.’ I opted for the former.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Uh oh.

“My roommate just wished me good luck as she left our apartment for her boyfriend’s place. Ugh. #death.” — Stacy Lambe, a male freelancer for VH1.

A convo between two journos… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Ladies, if you want to work that’s fine,” he wrote in a follow-up story on RedState in which he stated in elaborate detail that he and his wife have had their struggles. “If your position in life makes it advantageous for you to be the primary bread winner, that’s fine. But your individual circumstances and mine should not hide the fact that there is an ideal and optimal family arrangement whether we in our own lives can meet it.”

Maybe the best line of the piece: “Many feminist and emo lefties have their panties in a wad over my statements in the past 24 hours about families.”

As rabid feminists and lefties twisted themselves (and maybe their panties too, who knows?) into knots over his stance, female peers swooped in to both save him and scold him. “Dear @EWErickson,” began Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham, who often hosts FNC programs. “You are polluting your own feed w/ the nasty retweets. You empower them. Rise above!”

FNC’s Greta Van Susteren, who once called then-FNC Contributor and now FNC “Fox & Friends” host Tucker Carlson “a pig” with “no judgment” for running a Daily Caller story on Mike Tyson‘s crude womb-shifting thoughts on Sarah Palin, took a more direct approach. “Have these men lost their minds?” she wrote in a Thursday blog post in which she also wondered (to herself and thousands of her boisterous followers), “And these are my colleagues??!! Oh brother… maybe I need to have a little chat with them. Next thing they will have a segment to discuss eliminating women’s right to vote?”

When Erickson creates controversy he goes big, like last week when he cracked on President Obama not being aware of the Oklahoma tornado. He continued to dig a hole (please, no offense to feminists, it’s just an expression) for himself Thursday by writing, “In many, many animal species, the male and female of the species play complementary roles, with the male dominant in strength and protection and the female dominant in nurture. It’s the female who tames the male beast. One notable exception is the lion, where the male lion looks flashy but behaves mostly like a lazy beta-male MSNBC producer.”

Male journalists on the left also had wisdom. “When accused of sexism, make sure to use the phrase ‘panties in a wad’ in your defense,” wrote Salon‘s D.C. -based Alex Seitz-Wald on Twitter. To which Mother Jones‘ David Corn remarked, “Is it sexist to assume they wear panties?” Not to be excluded from those most likely to advise Erickson, Media Matters’ John Whitehouse wrote, “So Erickson wants to use his sexism as an opportunity to push his radio show? Ask Rush how that story ends.”

Just in case you think Erickson’s sexist… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Forbes

The bio describes Van Susteren as “the longest serving cable news anchor on TV and the most-watched woman on cable news.” It continues, however, to note that “plunging ratings have sparked rumors that the anchor might lose her prime time slot.”

Other newswomen included on the list: Huffington Post Editor-in-Chief Arianna Huffington (56), NYT Executive Editor Jill Abramson (19) and CBS anchor Diane Sawyer (73).

On her Gretawire blog… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“News helicopters being told to back off because HWY Patrol can’t hear people crying for help #tornado #oklahoma” — Robin Marsh, news anchor in Oklahoma City.

Fallout: Bring Up Politics at Your Own Risk 

“I’m a douche low-life scumbag jackhole ghoul for noting Coburn already wants offsets to fed aid and Inhofe is climate change denier.” – Politico‘s Glenn Thrush, who got bombarded when he wrote this: “It’s striking that OK’s sens are 1) a federal spending skeptic and 2) global warming denier.” In response to the above, Kristina Ribali, director of new media at Freedom Works remarked: “@GlennThrush I didn’t say you were slamming them, I said you were being an ass. Have some class.” Labor reporter F. Bill McMorris wrote simply, “#douche.”

Did someone speak too soon? 

“Thank God tragedies like this one in OK bring out the highest and best in everyone – politicians, first responders, government, media.” — CNBC and NYT‘s John Harwood.

More media in-fighting…

The Nation‘s Katrina vanden Heuvel: “If GOP going to use IRS ‘scandal’ to demolish government,they may wish to look at need for very same government in Oklahoma tornado disaster.”

National Review Online‘s Jonah Goldberg: “.@KatrinaNation what’s really in poor taste how your point is so pedestrian and lame. Why bother? Jeez.”

The Day After: “It is always the next day when the sun comes up that we learn the extent of the horror.” — Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren.

And a few confessionals…

“Sometimes the disaster voyeurism on Twitter makes me uncomfortable.” — Blake Hounshel, managing editor of Foreign Policy mag.

“I lost some family that meant a lot to me in the AL tornadoes. Think I’ll clock out of coverage for the evening and pick it up in the AM.” — FBDC Contributor and Bill Press‘ producer Peter Ogburn.

“The partisanship in the wake of tragedy stuns me.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

The Preacher

“When you turn your TV off and stop tweeting tonight — stop. Sit in peace. Too many people don’t have that tonight.” — WaPo producer Jeff Simon.

Emotions on high: A Variety of Calls for Prayer

• “Terrifying photo of tornado damage nyti.ms/10R5Ly2 May the dead rest in peace. May survivors get help to heal and rebuild.” – Conor Friedersdorf, staff writer for The Atlantic.

“Worst part about Oklahoma news is you know it’s going to get worse. And that’s just heartbreaking. #PrayForOklahoma” — Rory Cooper, communications director to House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor.

• “The sad news from Oklahoma keeps rolling in. Everyone at TheDC is thinking of the folks affected, & will keep you in our thoughts & prayers.” — The Daily Caller.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in Oklahoma tonight. #okc” — Newt Gingrich.

Uh oh.

“CIA source says Fox News scandal the ’4th Shoe’; says it goes much deeper; says WH also sitting on “something” that has top aides terrified.” — Drudge Report and TWT Columnist Joseph Curl.

GOP Spox Prediction: 60 Minutes to land first Obama interview

“White House/Obama scandal tsunami is growing. Odds that the White House offers Steve Kroft the first POTUS interview?” — NRSC Strategist/Spokesman Brad Dayspring in an unfortunate display of using a weather analogy on the wrong day.

Rubin Vs. Shuster

“Watching lefty media meltdown re Obama media spying is like a kid finding out Babe Ruth was a drunk. Sorry to disillusion but long overdue.” — WaPo‘s
“Right Turn” blogger Jennifer Rubin.

Shuster guts Rubin like a fish…“When it comes to RWNJ’s, including @JRubinBlogger, who are mentally ill + psychotic, best to ignore them.” — Lefty radio host David Shuster. “[Jennifer Rubin] proves again she is a habitual liar. And, asking @CNN to cut the mic of somebody responding to her lies? Psychotic.”

Bureau Chief takes firm stance on exposed pits

“Phew, getting people blind drunk in bars in order to get them to tell you things isn’t in DOJ’s list of treasonous acts that reporters do.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton. And this from a few days ago, but we couldn’t resist it: “I’m a firm believer that sleeves are mandatory for dudes in a restaurant situation. Nobody wants your pits exposed near their food.”

Watch out, ladies, your purses are germier than you think

“Not the dinner hour yet so if you carry a purse tune in at 4. Report shows more germs on your purse than a toilet. News4 @nbcwashington.” — Jim Handly, anchor, NBC Washington.

See more Morning Chatter…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Hmm which to choose?” — ABC’s Martha Raddatz with accompanying photograph.

Reader explains “tricks” scribes use to avoid crediting others

On Friday, WaPo‘s Paul Farhi wrote a story on Politico pulling a video that featured Sen. Min. Leader Mitch McConnell‘s (R-Ky.) COS blowing them love kisses. Turns out may that be against Senate rules, as reported by Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner. So we wrote about Farhi’s failure to adequately cite Shiner and her story.

An Anonymous reader writes in…“Farhi’s failure to credit Roll Call: He use two of the oldest tricks in the book for skating past the explicit crediting of others: Don’t mention at top, but then mention the name of the news breaking organization without crediting them but attributing some small detail to their reporting. Fig leaf covered! The second dodge is when one your “friends” (your editor) tells you, “Farhi, you got beat on something!) Like the immaculate conception, if you hear it from someone else, then it is no longer breaking news!”

Important Question to Ponder: “Does Gray’s Anatomy have to be so bloody?” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren.

The Observer

“Well, that was a new one: person in our row at Star Trek got up periodically throughout movie to do lunges in aisle.” — Anna Sproul-Latimer, literary agent.

S.E. Cupp finds perfect hamburger

“Found out the @innoutburger by LAX opens at 10:30 am. Plenty of time to grab a double-double animal style before my flight. #Worththetrip” — MSNBC’s S.E. Cupp.

Journo blows off steam

“Getting some aggression out at the driving range….” — Fox News Senate Producer Kara Rowland.

And another tries to recreate his heart attack

“Where is my ambulance? I think this is the widow maker – jk” — Mediaite White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher.

Producer looks to Trumps for finer things in life

“Got fabulous @IvankaTrump shoes this wk & delicious wine from @trumpwinery last wk. They sure make some good stuff. @realDonaldTrump” — WMAL Executive Producer Heather Smith.

Guiding Sophia’s Light

“New Golden Rule 21st Century style: I will do To you before you can do it to me! I will burn you before you can break me. I ain’t no punk.” — Essence and theGrio‘s Sophia Nelson.

See more Morning Chatter…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

(A sprinkling of things we think you ought to know)

AP-DOJ conflict doesn’t matter to Media Matters– Media Matters for America, the progressive watchdog dedicated to discrediting conservative media, has no coverage of the Associated Press-Justice Department fiasco that blew up Monday night.

A search of MMFA‘s website for “Associated Press,” “AP” and “Gary Pruitt” produce no results related to the conflict, in which the Justice Department secretly seized phone records of some of AP’s staffers. Pruit is the AP‘s president. He called the ordeal “a serious interference with AP’s constitutional rights to gather and report the news.”

Republicans in Congress, the conservative media and even mainstream media have all jumped on the story, calling it an example of government overreach. While MMFA is an openly progressive non-profit, the organization generally peddles along with the news cycle, posting stories and sending out email blasts that either rebut the conservative side or provide more context meant to render the story a wash.

We’ve requested comment from MMFA‘s Sr. Director of Communications Jess Levin.

On the other end of things, conservative media watcher NewsBusters, has covered the story.

Greta wonders if you ever feel like a caged feline– FNC’s Greta Van Susteren asked the rambunctious readers of her Gretawire blog this morning, “Do you ever feel like this baby tiger?” In her blog post was a video of what actually looks like a vicious tiger sitting in a glass cage, snarling directly at the camera. “Do you know someone else who currently feels like this baby tiger?” her post continues. One reader replied in the comments section: “Do not call, do not text me first thing in the morning before my first cup of coffee LOL…REALLY!” News reports as of late have Van Susteren possibly moving out of her 10 p.m. time slot.

How to NOT make it about me– ABC’s Robin Roberts, co-anchor of Good Morning America, had a well-publicized battle with breast cancer and subsequent bone marrow transplant over the last few years. GMA seemed to run story after story about her recovery. Even so, Roberts didn’t pounce on the opportunity to make actress Angelina Jolie‘s double mastectomy about herself at all. “Terrific Tuesday at GMA,” she tweeted this morning. “We will discuss Angelina Jolie’s decision to have a double mastectomy. She wrote a moving OP-ED in the NY Times.” And that was it.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

On his CNN media news program “Reliable Sources,” Kurtz offered his side of the story on what led to the mea culpa in the first place: Deadline pressure and his own lack of due diligence were to blame for his erroneous report last week that NBA player Jason Collins, who had just come out as gay, didn’t disclose that Collins his prior engagement to a woman. Collins had, in fact, been open about the engagement, mentioning it in a column for Sports Illustrated.

On Friday we questioned whether Kurtz would cover his own ass by covering his own ass on the show. He did. And for the occasion, CNN brought in NPR’s David Folkenflik and Politico‘s Dylan Byers to probe him.

There was plenty of in-house love for Kurtz. In a separate segment on the show, attorney Lisa Bloom was on to discuss coverage of the Jodi Arias case. Before offering her legal analysis, she said she would take a second to “go off script.” She praised Kurtz for “raising the bar” for journalistic accountability (while rattling off her own media resume).

“Kudos to Howard Kurtz,” tweeted Kurtz’s CNN colleague Piers Morgan. “He took his Jason Collins-clanger on the chin today like a Mike Tyson right hook.”

The compliments also poured in from elsewhere. FNC anchor Greta Van Susteren wrote on her Gretawire blog that everyone should “stop slapping Howie Kurtz.”

“Not one of us is perfect.  We all make mistakes,” Van Susteren wrote. At the start of the year, Kurtz had to offer a separate apology for wrongly attributing a quote to Van Susteren about then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

At TVNewser, our sister site, Gail Shister wrote after the apology that she hopes CNN head Jeff Zucker will continue to support Kurtz.

On the other side of the fence… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Late Thursday afternoon — STOP THE PRESSES — Kassel, clearly assigned to the Butt Patrol beat, wrote us an “urgent” email requesting information about whether our own Eddie Scarry‘s  planned to cover “big butts” at the upcoming White House Correspondents’ Dinner. There is no plan for Eddie to do that. But Kassel, being the ace reporter that he is, anticipated (good reporters do this by the way, they anticipate things BEFORE they MIGHT, MAYBE but HAVEN’T happened yet) that Eddie might have big butts on the brain. So here’s what he wrote (we’ve put it in bold):

Hi Betsy,

Hi Will,

I’m a staff writer at The New York Observer, and I’m writing an article about Eddie Scarry and the Washington correspondents dinner on Saturday. Specifically, I’m wondering if he plans to be taking any pictures of women’s butts again (I’m reaching to him as well). I’m wondering if you consider his prior coverage professional behavior, and if so, how you justify it. Why is appropriate for a media site to ridicule lumpy butts? Wose idea was it?

If you’d like to call, my number’s (609) 658-2650. As soon as possible is best, as we’d like to get this story up tomorrow morning.

Best,

Matt Kassel

He quickly followed up with this:

Actually, I don’t have Eddie’s email. Would you mind sending it my way?

First off, a quick note to Matty’s editor: Do you know that you have someone working for you who sends out emails as sloppy as this one? For starters, my name is Betsy, not Will. And why is Matt sending a note to us both? Could it possibly be because the “Will” he meant this for is Will Sommer, who writes for Washington City Paper, who is also outraged by the occasional “big butt” photograph we have run? These two are so dumb they might as well dress up in Hazmat suits and crash into each other just for fun.

Moving on. Let’s address the typos. This is — by far — my favorite sentence of Matty’s: “Wose idea was it?” Really, Matty, “Wose?” Please tell me where you went to J-School because I’d like to go there too!

Just for the hell of it, here’s some context since you’re clearly not adept at searching our website. Three years ago was the first time FBDC ever mentioned a big butt. It happened to be Kim Kardashian’s. She was attending the White House Correspondents’ Dinner as the date of Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren. One night at a party, the hot topic of conversation was Kardashian’s derriere. So we wrote about it. Van Susteren became incensed with our coverage, we had a spirited back and forth and Van Susteren apologized. She had no idea that Kardashian’s behind was actually a common conversation piece or that her big break was a sex tape. (At this point, I’ll refer you to an 11-picture slideshow of Kardashian’s butt on HuffPost here.) From there on out, it became a mild joke and we’d occasionally throw big butts into photo spreads.

And now, let’s address your dumbass questions one by one. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Is that good or bad?

Politico, The Hill and Yahoo! News are all opting not to bring high-wattage Hollywood celebs to this year’s dinner, as had become the norm in recent years. FNC’s Greta Van Susteren, who in the past brought actress Lindsay Lohan and reality TV star Kim Kardashian as guests, is sitting the event out this time. As usual, The Daily Caller‘s Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson won’t attend and will head out of town.

Politico Playbook reported Tuesday morning that an attorney for the WHCA is threatening legal action against a Los Angeles-based marketing firm for using the dinner as a promotional tie for one of its “gift” products. Then there’s Ed Henry, FNC’s Chief White House Correspondent and President of the WHCA, who said last week that he was reworking the event to be less celebrity-centric and more about the scholarships it offers to aspiring journalists.

So what are the expectations for this year’s dinner which takes place Saturday? With a renewed focus on the scholarships and a distinctive step away from the glitz, are people more or less excited? Answer our Fish Poll. We’ll post the results soon.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Where we check in with Oprah Van Susteren and her rambunctious fans.

There’s never a dull moment at Gretawire, the blog of FNC anchor Greta Van Susteren where her wily and dedicated fans let loose on whatever is on their minds. The last time we checked in on the bunch, they were acting strange, sweetly musing about FNC White House Correspondent Ed Henry‘s trip to Israel in March. On Monday they were back to their old shenanigans in an open-ended post by Van Susteren, which, as of this writing, has 1,500 comments.

Liberals Make Them Throw Up At Dinner.

“I just had dinner with several liberals (not by choice, but by obligation), who were talking about how we need to learn to ‘forgive murderers’ and also attempting to raise toasts to ‘understanding Sunni Muslims.’ Later in the evening they were slamming “rednecks” and gun owners. So much for understanding. Needless to say, I WON’T be invited back. I threw up a little on the entree’ after that bit of info. And what made it even worse, the food wasn’t even good. So much for obligations.”– 2soon2bforgot10

They Have Predictions About Vice President Joe Biden’s Political Aspirations.

“He’ll be running for POTUS in a few years. Unreal.”– 3ButterflyKisses

“He’ll never get the nomination.”– SydneyJane2 continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Wemple was ultimately Editor-in-Chief of TBD, a publication that was about as popular as Salon‘s Joan Walsh at a Daily Caller pool party with Dominican hookers or Dave Weigel in a Speedo (guess we have summer on the brain). It’s a shame he’s not prouder of the experience, even if it did fail. As Albert Einstein once said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” Joan Collins also has wisdom: “Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you someone who has never achieved much.”

Here’s what Wemple tucked into his piece complimenting all the ways in which POLITICO, Politico or politico has succeeded in getting the word out. Pretty soon the media blogger may need stickies to put all over himself just to piece together what he ate for breakfast or his past at the “Allbritton entity.”

2) Embrace of television: Politico took grew up in the offices of Allbritton Communications Co., the Rosslyn shop that also houses WJLA-TV (ABC 7) and NewsChannel8. (Disclosure: I previously worked for a now-closed Allbritton entity that shall not be named here). That means it germinated among television cameras, a culture that it has ridden to prominence.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

In which we check in with Gretawire to see what Oprah Van Susteren is chatting about and what her boisterous fan club is saying back

When Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren blogs, her tight-knit community of readers react with haste and enthusiasm, no matter what the topic. She asks for “light comedy” movie recommendations, she gets 356 comments with suggestions. She asks what her readers think of “grumpy cat,” they answer with 53 all-too-pensive thoughts. She says she hates to see Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasslebeck leave “The View,” and 100+ “I hate The View” comments arrive.

Perhaps the best posts, however, are the “open thread” posts, wherein Van Susteren let’s her fans go all willy-nilly and shoot off on whatever strikes their fancy. This morning, Van Susteren published such a post and within 30 minutes there were more than 100 comments. Here’s a sampling of what’s on their minds, spelling and grammar unchanged:

STDs

“According to the CDC, sexually transmitted disease has reached epidemic scale. You thought a hangover was bad.”– Belletide

Royalty

“WE DO NEED A GAY KING.”– UTKR

Potential awards

“in the future we could also have a hollywood series called Gang bangers, with Golden Globes being given out for the best shooter, best hoe, most drug used, the money generated could take care of the elderly in the hood.”– Old MP Sergeant continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

And then who comes vaulting out of the Twitter peanut gallery and ruins it for us? continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Having just suffered a serious head injury from an attempted assassination, the fictional President Fitzgerald Grant is ready to divorce his very pregnant wife Mellie so that he can finally be with his side piece Olivia Pope without feeling guilty. As in real life, this would be political suicide, but Grant is ready to go through with it.

Mellie and Cyrus Beene, Grant’s chief of staff, are both animals in politics who don’t want to lose their places in the White House. So, Beene tells Mellie that if she has “one last trick” up her sleeve to change Grant’s mind, it is the time to use it.

What does Mellie do? With four weeks left in her pregnancy, she walks into the doctor’s office with a smile on her face and has a medically induced labor, apparently without an epidural, as she can be seen at the end of the episode screaming and looking sweatier than former Democratic Rep. David Wu in a costume shop. Grant rushes to Mellie’s side to hold her hand and help her through the process.

Here’s how it would happen in real life… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.