MAKING AN ENTRANCE AND AN EXIT: Host of “CBS This Morning” Gayle King walked into the Washington Hilton on Saturday night in an eye-popping kelly green gown by Vicky Tiel. On Friday night, she was spotted leaving the Turkish Embassy residence where The Hill was hosting its pre-WHCD party.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” — A St. Regis employee to guests of Friday night’s TIME-People party at which partygoers, many of whom were White House correspondents, received gift bags so heavy they could give you a hernia. More on the contents later…

Humility is…

“I have been told many times I look like @MatthewPerry. I just saw him at #nerdprom. He is far better looking.” — The Hill’s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

Editor wants WHCD weekend to be more substantive

“It kind of sickens me when you’re here for the White House Correspondents’ Weekend that there are not more substantive discussions.” — Steve Clemons, Editor-at-Large for The Atlantic, who hosted a discussion over the weekend with MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Sen. Joe Manchin (R-WVa.) at the Ritz. The banquet room was packed. Breakfast disappeared too fast. The discussion centered on American military power today. Attendees included BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton, NJ‘s Brian Fung, Yahoo! News‘ Chris Moody, Newsweek-Daily Beast‘s Eli Lake and The Atlantic‘s Jay Lauf.

A plea for help

“Someone catch me up on the last 9 days of news.” — Politico White House Correspondent Byron Tau.

Important Q to Ponder: “In a cab going to the airport but our driver is sleepy so he has the window down – to freeze or get into an accident?” — Oversharing Sherri Shepherd, co-host of ABC’s “The View.”

HuffPost‘s Sam Stein “impressed” with Politico

ThinkProgress‘ Judd Legum: “Politico currently has 54 separate links to stories abt WHCA Dinner on its front page.”

Huffpost‘s Sam Stein: “I’m kind of impressed.”

And in Bob Schieffer, Claire Danes father-daughter news… 

“Someone asked Bob Schieffer if he was Claire Danes’ daddy.” — former White House reporter Myles Miller.

Some buzz on BuzzFeed Party

“CSPAN showing super long line for @BuzzFeed party. A lot of sad faces who can’t get in #buzzfeedbbq” — Washington Examiner‘s Charlie Spiering. And this from Roll Call HOH’s Warren Rojas: “Crowd in #BuzzFeedbbq just let out very self-satisfied collective whoop after @cspan live shot of line @JackRoseinDC #counterwhcd”

Psy or is it more like Sigh?

“Psy just walked by me. I feel somehow cooler. Or at least more relevant.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. Good thing Cillizza didn’t actually try to communicate with Psy.

Starting new pub is stressful

“Rare has oped from Jeb Bush today so big relief we can get the big names when so new. I’m on pins and needles every day.” — Rare Editor-in-Chief Brett Decker. See here. Will Jeb run or won’t he? Who knows, but his last graph sounds rather presidential. He writes, “American greatness comes from the power of individuals – not the government – to create wealth and opportunity through competition, innovation and empowerment. Not only must we pursue reform, we must do a much better job communicating how these reforms protect and promote the genius of America.”

More WHCD fallout…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” – Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

“Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

• “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.

• “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.

• “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

• “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.

• “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.

• “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

CNN’s Paul Begala: From a follower — “Paul, grow some hair, and get a brain!!”

CNN’s Ari Fleischer: From Ari — “So according to Twitter I’m a magical undead gentle greyhound lizard zombie vampire vulcan. Got it.” This stemmed from follower Emily Pranger, who wrote, “Whoa. Ari Shapiro looks undead.” Chris Dlugosz added, “I never realized until now that Ari Shapiro looks liks a magical gentle lizard.” And yet another Emily wrote, “Presidential debate. This Ari Shapiro guy looks like he’s 15 and 97 all at once. Without a doubt a vampire.”

CNN’s David Gergen: “David Gergen looks like a thumb.” — IowaHawk‘s David Burge.

Breitbart.com‘s and CNN Contributor Dana Loesch: From a follower, Selena Hines — “@DLoesch Oh shut up! I’m about sick of you!! Romney has been disrespectful the entire debate! Your probably racist.”

The Daily Caller‘s Matt Lewis: From Lewis — “An angry reader ends an email to me with this: ‘May God have mercy on your soul.’”

MetroWeekly Co-Publisher Sean Bugg had feedback for CNN as a whole. Or else a confessional. He wrote, “CNN just hurts my eyes before I can even get to any sort of judgment about their journalism.” And Barron‘s Washington Editor James McTague agreed, saying, “Small wonder CNN ratings are so low.”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“I gotta say, between Mitt Romney’s gaffes and Kate Middleton’s tits, I’m afraid to leave the house!” — Bill Maher, host of HBO’s “Real Time With Bill Maher.”

Congratulations. (A little…)

“Happy anniversary to my 2nd favorite morning show.” — Chris Licht, former executive producer for MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” Licht now produces CBS This Morning.

Speaking of “Morning Joe” shout-outs…

“So people watch Morning Joe just so they don’t miss it when Mika finally snaps and stabs him, right?” — host of NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell me…” Peter Sagal.

Twitter growing pains

“I’d like to go back to school and do my PhD thesis on how bad Twitter sucks.” — Politico‘s Ben White, who has been getting some push back on Twitter this week from the likes of Guardian‘s super serious Glenn Greenwald among other “whores.”

Convo Between Two Journos

This morning’s conversation is between WaPo national political reporter Philip Rucker and Monocle and Slate’s Sasha Issenberg. Sasha is referring to WaPo’s Jennifer Rubin, who has been accused of being in the tank for Mitt Romney.

Philip Rucker: Romney aides Rhoades, Gitcho, Beeson & Chen got Aug bonuses from $25,000-$37,500

Sasha Issenberg: How much did @JRubinBlogger get?

Question to Ponder: “Do political reporters do serious journalism in election season or just report gaffes?” — InTheseTimes.com labor journo Mike Elk.

Did someone say serious journalism?

“Happy Daze: Remember when Paris Hilton and Charlie Sheen dominated the news cycle? Sigh.” — Baron’s D.C. Editor James McTague.

Muckraking at its finest. Aren’t smartphones great?

“Reception for Paul Ryan on House floor a lot more tempered down since last week’s visit. Mob to talk to him not as large.” — NBC’s Luke Russert.

“Hoyer crosses House floor to shake hands with #Paulryan. Nice moment.” — Politico’s Jonathan Allen.

“Steny Hoyer just crossed house floor to shake Paul Ryan’s hand.” — Politico‘s Shermanator Jake Sherman.

Skirmish.

“What will I ever do now? Dave Weigel blocked me so I’ll never see him crying about people being mean to Obama again!! OH NOES!!” — RBPundit. To which Slate‘s Dave Weigel replied, “You’re not entitled to waste my time and Twitter feed. That’s all.”

Journo gets hives

“Ew I just got hives for the first time. And on my arm. What in the world, this is so not cool.” — Elizabeth Lauten, a.k.a. “DCGOPGirl,” who video blogged for  CNN during the summer conventions.

FishbowlDC Fan Club

1. President: WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten

2. VP of internal shady clubhouse activities: The Daily Caller‘s Executive Director David Martosko

3. Head cheerleader: WaPo‘s Ezra Klein

4. Treasure and national fundraiser: The Daily Caller‘s Matthew Boyle

5. Enthusiastic new member: HuffPost‘s Andrea Stone

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Nations Triathlon done in 3:08 (Olympic). Now, about that milkshake…” — Politico‘s Patrick Gavin, who completed Sunday’s triathlon. Our own Peter Ogburn also finished the race. His time was six minutes ahead of Gavin’s.

Journo declares she’s not pregnant!

“Tornado has passed. Thank the Lord. I am headed to grocery store. I am nesting (did I just say that). I’ll explain later. NO not Preggers!” — Essence and theGrio columnist Sophia Nelson.

Editor gets socked in face by dog

“Playing with Fergus just now, he punched me in the face. Lesson: Great Danes have a hell of a right cross. Also, #shiner.” — New York magazine’s National Affairs Editor John Heilemann.

Reading between the lines

“Whenever a newspaper announces a major redesign sell its stock short. Redesign is the last refuge of a desperate management.” — Barron‘s Washington Editor James McTague.

The “optics” of Mitt and Ann on MTP

“I am sorry, but this thing about Ann Romney joining Mitt on MTP is just plain weird.” — The optics are horrible- makes him look weak.” — Quinn & Gillespie’s Jim Manley, a former longtime Democratic Senate aide. “Wasn’t it just ystd that Ann Romney was refusing to answer tough political questions? I hope to god mtp won’t let her get away with that.” A follower agreed, asking,”Why can’t the chickenshit go on MTP by himself to actually answer some substantive policy questions? Uses Ann for protection.” MTP Executive Producer Betsy Fischer Martin tried to make it sound all nicey nice, and replied directly to Manley: “We had a long sitdown with Mitt solo this morning. Mrs. Romney joined for a short convo Friday on the Bus! Glad they did it.”

Pundit faces disappointing donut issue at airport

“Seriously, who eats cold donuts? It’s 5:21 am! I can’t stand cold donuts. Don’t know why donut joints at airports don’t have microwaves.” — CNN Contributor Roland Martin over the weekend.

And other traveling journos see glass half empty

“They forced me to check my bag. I assume they’ll lose it. I don’t really need those clothes anyway.” — The Washington Examiner‘s David Freddoso.

“That brief moment of disappointment when you step off the moving walkway and you’re slow again.” – The Takeaway‘s Washington radio correspondent Todd Zwillich.

Homeward Bound

“I miss my kids so much that I can’t wait till I hear them whine.#thatwontlast” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack after two weeks of convention coverage.

VandeHei on Maher

“Politico’s VandeHei claims Dems just as big liars as Repubs–classic Politico–and Maher and Katrina call bullshit.” — The Nation‘s Greg Mitchell in reference to Politico Exec. Editor Jim VandeHei’s Friday evening appearance on HBO’s “Real Time With Bill Maher.”

The Birthday Boy

“Yeah, so I’m 25 years old today. Weird. I feel old.” — The Daily Caller‘s Matthew Boyle on Sunday. Happy Birthday Boyle!

Boybander refers to self as “libtard”

“Typical of libtard MSM to expect Team Romney to be able to explain their guy’s pre-existing conditions plan before bragging about it on TV.” — Slate‘s economics writer Matt Yglesias in a moment of liberal irony.

A new ridiculous Twitter vocabulary word from JMART

“So how many more sports bars will chicago send obama to tween now and elex day? Thinking 1x per wk.” — Politico‘s Senior Political Reporter Jonathan Martin whose apparently tween a rock and hard place when it comes to writing on Twitter.

A long and stormy night complete with sewage

• “On Adams Mill Road during storm, water, presumably sewage, was shooting into the air from under a displaced manhole cover labeled ‘sewer.’” — National Journal Senate reporter Dan Friedman. A storm blew through D.C. Saturday afternoon, leaving many without electricity.
• “Effing bloody hell. I’ve been through earthquakes forest fires urban riots. #Enough w these#incompetence-driven disasters #OrganizingNow” — Chronicle of Higher Education and author Amy Alexander.
• “CRAZY WEATHER:Traffic signs, cones blown across Rt. 110. HEAVY downpours. STRONG winds.” — TV reporter Mike Conneen.

 Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“The AIR CONDITIONED porta-potty at the CNN Grill #rnc2012” -- BuzzFeed‘s John Stanton. Really, double sinks?

If fat jokes offend you, don’t read this.

“Oh my god you guys, the FATTEST PERSON WE HAVE EVER SEEN just walked onto the stage. Ha ha ha! 10:36 — Did you see him walk on stage? Waddle waddle waddle, whee! 10:38 — Chris Christie’s parents were the poorest people who have ever lived. Mom took 64 buses to work, and made no money, ever… 10:40 — When is he going to smash an ice cream cone in some joe’s face on the boardwalk? 10:41 — Liquified ham sandwiches are being sent up his butt via a reverse-enema, every three seconds. This could backfire quite literally!” — Jim Newell for Wonkette. See the full live blog for evening.

Other Christie commentary…

“People are talking about Christie not mentioning Romney like it was an oversight. Pretty sure these speeches are written in advance.” — The Atlantic‘s Molly Ball.

“SPOTTED: @DanaBashCNN on the massive screen onstage beside Chris Christie.” — ABC’s Jonathan Karl. We’re pretty sure this isn’t a fat joke.

“Hoping that by speech’s end, Christie will have taken off his suit coat, dress shirt and tie, revealing only a sauced stained wife beater.” — Clear Channel’s Colby Hall, who can’t resist.

“I would say I love this speech, but I guess I just respect it.” — Reasons‘ Peter Suderman mocking Christie for saying he prefers respect to love.

The Complainers: “Whatever is being projected on the screen behind Gov. Chris Christie is vertigo-inducing.” — Marketplace’s David Gura. And Ezzy on acid: “Feel like the blue mist swirling behind Chris Christie is about to coalesce into a Genie.” — WaPo‘s Ezra Klein.

Reporters drool over N.C. Gov. Nikki Haley

“Ooo. I like Nikki Haley’s necklace a lot.” — HuffPost‘s Amanda Terkel. Terkel also gushes, “Nikki Haley’s suit is fantastic too.” And our own Eddie Scarry has an unusual “How Can I Make This About Me” moment last night, writing, “I remember seeing Gov. Nikki Haley come speak to auditorium at my school when she was a candidate. Maybe 15 people showed up.”

As compassionate as it gets.

“Reasons NOT to stay at the office during evening newscasts. The cleaning crew vacuums without any clue that they’re disrupting work.” — the ever compassionate conservative Tim Graham of Media Research Center last night at 7:19 p.m. Graham occasionally tweets (or toots) about passing gas.

Meanwhile, journos, others melt for Ann Romney.

“Only flaw of this speech: We may have nominated the wrong Romney.” — National Review‘s Jim Geraghty.

“Wow, Ann is looking gorgeous.” — Heritage Foundry writer Lachlan Markay.

“Honestly, Ann Romney looks stunning.” — Eddie Scarry. (Eddie, are you okay?)

“Now some ground rules ya’ll this is a nice lady, and she has MS. No mean jokes or Ima have to wreck you on Twitter.” — Sophia Nelson, a columnist who writes for USA Today, Essence and theGrio.com.

“There’s something sort of Hollywood about Ann Romney.” — LAT‘s David Horsey.

“Democrats are watching Ann Romney and slowly dying inside. Heh heh heh.” — Breitbart.com editor John Nolte.

“I find it very refreshing to hear from a prez candidate’s wife who isn’t badmouthing her hubby publicly all the time.” — Conservative author Michelle Malkin.

“Ann Romney tonight: gracious, intelligent, kind, firm, truthful, incisive. A home run. Juan Williams — what an embarrassment for FOX.” — Americans for Prosperity Prez Tim Phillips.

“Ann Romney will play huge. Ameica [sic] loves her.” — Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham, who meant to write “America.”

“Ann Romney delivers the best speech of the night so far.” — WaPo‘s Jonathan Capehart.

The Anti-Ann Dissenters

“Am I the only one who thinks Ann Romney is a little too cheerful talking about all these sad people?” — HuffPost‘s Christina Wilkie.

“Dude this speech by Ann Romney is kinda creepy…” — InTheseTimes.com Labor journo Mike Elk.

“Ann Romney is so polished that I am actually afraid of her.” — Colby Hall.

“Nancy Reagan red. What a fashion shocker.” — Baron‘s James McTague.

“I believe Ann Romney’s outfit is Sudafed red.” — HuffPost‘s Elise Foley.

And another thing, boogers?

“This host is arguably the least funny human I’ve met. He’s telling booger jokes. BOOGER JOKES.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton on a comedy show at the GOP National Convention. Stanton also observed National Journal‘s funnyman Matt Cooper doing standup: “Matt Cooper now telling Chris Christie jokes. Cause they’re both fat. And no I’m not joking.”

Journo endures snoring neighbor

“Dispatch from Clearwater: I am awake at this hour because I can actually hear the snoring from the room next door to me. #paperthinwalls” — TPM‘s Erin McPike at 3:16 a.m.

Meanwhile, another scribe is knee deep in chicken fingers

“Admire reporters who are on trail full-time & don’t keel over. 2 days in, I’m a pile of chicken finger baskets & Coke cans.” — HotAir’s Mary Katharine Ham.

File this under life’s little F.U.’s

“I should have more followers than Luke Russert.” — Comedian Joe Mande. The tally: Mande has 43, 489; Russert clobbers him at 105,988.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry Contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

The Donald heaps praise on CBS’ Bob Schieffer

“Bob Schieffer of Face The Nation is doing well in the ratings— I like him because he treated me very fairly.” — Donald Trump.

Sandusky…Ohio?

“It’s sad, when I hear the President is heading to Sandusky, the first thing I think of is Jerry not Ohio.” — Mediaite‘s Dan Abrams.

Speaking of half-naked…

“Shirtless man standing on his porch with his hands at his hips staring at press bus as we pull into Sandusky.” — Buzzfeed‘s Zeke Miller.

Journo rattled by heat related odors

“I don’t mind my BO, it’s the blender on liquefy mixture of everyone else’s stench I could do without.” — Anonymous D.C. journalist.

Journo returns to civilization with amnesia

“After nine days overseas without news, I cannot remember who the GOP contender is. Newt Romney?” – Baron‘s James McTague.

On Writing…

“…And, as it is, the more I write, the less I want to talk. I now understand the love affair between writers and reclusiveness.” — NYT‘s Charles Blow.

Bullsh%t Journalism

“Joe Williams is coming on the show today to tell his side of the story” — Liz Wahl, an anchor at Russia TV. The network brought the ex-Politico White House Correspondent on their network at 5 p.m. Thursday to rehash his “inartful” (as he put it) comments on Mitt Romney not being at ease around white people. They asked him to address the “dick” remarks he made regarding Romney and his wife. The network, however, didn’t bother to ask for “his side of the story” as it never reported to viewers that Williams pled guilty to assaulting his ex-wife in May and remains on probation until November.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“To live my life in a kind of metaphorical fishbowl, it’s pretty challenging, yeah.” — Madonna on NBC’s “Rock Center” last night.

A Question to Ponder…“So isn’t castrating a dog worse than tying a it to your roof for a couple of hours? #askingforafriend” — BuzzFeed Political Editor Ben Smith.

Uh oh! Tschida’s pooch takes a leak in the house

“pup pees in house. supposed to praise profusely when he goes outside. so pick him up say LOVE YOU smother him with kisses. get weird looks.” — ABC7 reporter Stephen Tschida.

Deep Thoughts With Lachlan Markay

“It’s so cute when people complain about how dysfunctional DC is then insist on giving it more power.” — Heritage Foundation’s Lachlan Markay.

CNN reporter endures DC DMV

“Covering presidential politics, White House, global issues – cakewalk compared to dealing with DC DMV.” — CNN’s Jessica Yellin.

Politico‘s Roger Simon: Resident Tough Guy

“Wife just killed a centipede. Thank God for wives.” — Roger Simon.

USA Today travel writer deals with dopey cab driver; BuzzFeed reporter chokes on a pretzel

“Oh cab driver, that’s my arm u just slammed your trunk door on. Hope this is not an indication of what’s to come on this trip #travelfail” — Nancy Trejos.

“Started to choke slightly on a pretzel, tried to wash down with diet coke, spilled diet coke over hair, shirt, pants.” — BuzzFeed’s Rosie Gray.

Washington reacts to Dick Clark’s death

• “Dick Clark’s fabulous makeup artist is now available.” –  James McTague, Washington Editor of Barron’s.

• “I move we cancel New Year’s Eve this year.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

• “He made us feel as young and vibrant and optimistic as he was.” — President Obama.

• “Condolences to the family of Dick Clark. We join them in mourning his passing, & will never forget his achievements in entertainment & music.” — Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio).

• “#DickClark taught me & so many others to dance to the beat of the music. God bless his teenage spirit. Every Saturday morning after cartoons.” — Democratic pundit Donna Brazile.

• “America’s oldest teenager has died. Dick Clark passed away at age 82. The phrase ‘good beat- easy to dance to’ keeps running through my head.” — NPR’s Michele Norris.

Journo Hate

“You see, Smith will have his staff go on and on about elevators and a dog named Seamus–but not a dog named Dinner.” — Breitbart.com’s John Nolte in a story claiming that BuzzFeed‘s Smith shills for Obama — i.e. he’ll cover the Mitt Romney dog on a roof flap, but not Obama growing up eating dog, as reported by The Daily Caller.

“Now officially hate the jaunty NPR ‘Hey there, Ari’ reporter intro. My friend H called this sort of thing ‘hearty hack.’ I blame @kairyssdal” — The Daily Caller‘s Mickey Kaus referring to NPR White House Correspondent Ari Shapiro.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Sounding off

“White House mouth-piece Carney is perpetually late, in utter contempt of press corps. Does he think pissing us off helps Obama?” — Washington Editor, Barron’s, James McTague referring to White House Press Sec. Jay Carney.

Eavesdrop Cafe

“Dear dude that’s grunting in the gallery. Stop. Seriously. It’s creepy as hell.” — Roll Call‘s John Stanton.

The new Ben Smith tweets stuff like this: “So people apparently thought Lil Kim died.” See here. He also wrote to WaPo‘s Exec. Dir. of Digital News Katharine Zaleski: “@kzaleski Kind of love that the WaPo is is now the one aggregating @buzzfeed.”

Journo gets shouted at in Quiet Car

“Having an @Amtrak conductor shout the rules of the #QuietCar to us like a drill sergeant is a little ironic, don’t you think?” — NJ’s Ethan Klapper.

Um, a Thesaurus Mr. Speaker?

“If John Boehner says “kick the can down the road” one more time, I’m going to gouge my ears out with my pen. Open a THESAURUS!” — TWT Senior Editor of the Opinion Page Emily Miller.

A warm bipartisan welcome back

“@DanaBashCNN back in the stomping grounds of the Rotunda. Busts a cap in @GOPLeader her first morning reporting after new baby. Shapow” — Sen. Jay Rockefeller‘s Communication’s Director Vince Morris.

“So nice to see @DanaBashCNN back on the beat! Welcome back!” — House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor‘s flack Brad Dayspring.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.