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Posts Tagged ‘John Hardwood’

Vanden Heuvel and Harwood Talk Dick

Last night, Stephen Colbert welcomed the “Available Panel” on his show. But truth be told, it would have been better had they been unavailable. The host’s odd collection of newsies in town  included CNBC’s John Hardwood, The Nation‘s Katrina vanden Heuvel and – whoa! – singer David Cassidy.

Colbert immediately turned to Harwood for thoughts on the Florida primary and who will win. Harwood said he’s “in an open marriage with my political predictions right now.” Maybe in my lifetime, reporters will learn that it’s almost NEVER wise to go on comedy shows and try to be funny. First of all, thanks for bringing us to the cutting edge of 10-day-old-humor, John. Secondly, what does that even mean? It’s a shoddy attempt at a cheap laugh and the joke doesn’t even make sense.

Sensing the air of hilarity around her, Vanden Heuvel tries to wedge in some laughs. When asked about Newt’s chances in the primary, she said, “The Republican party has been screwing this country for too long. It’s not just Newt Gingrich. It’s basically just screw and shaft.” Even a comedian as seasoned as Colbert was taken aback. “A screw AND a shaft,” he exclaimed. “So, it’s double teaming the American people.” Even vanden Heuval then looked perplexed by her own avalanche of dick metaphors.

Believe it or not, the most restrained guest was David Cassidy. When talking about the amount of money Mitt has raised for his Presidential campaign, he lets us know that he’s a capitalist. Vanden Heuvel remarked, “I’m glad I didn’t know that you were that kind of capitalist when I kissed your poster on my wall.”

To get the full effect, the entire video is below. Just try not to make out with your computer when Cassidy comes on, Katrina.

 

 

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Morning Chatter

Quotes of the Day

Live From New Hampshire: C-SPAN’s Steve Scully interviews Politico’s Jonathan Martin on the road.

A word on Bachmann’s eyelashes…

Michelle Bachmann eyelashes keep getting longer and thicker! Perhaps she’s jockeying to be the next spokeswoman for Latisse?” — freelance video journalist Liz Glover. During recent debates, Bachmann’s eyelashes came up for discussion repeatedly in online chatter.

WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza: “WaPo spellcheck doesn’t have ‘electability’ in it. Enraging.”

A journo makes excuses

“Sorry for the lack of tweets this morning. I was either working on a story or shopping for doggy sunglasses.” — ReutersSam Youngman.

Confessional

DavidShuster you were pretty good last night on Current and I normally hate you.” — Avid watcher of D.C. journos and FBDC reader Larry Kelly.

Writer finds a new insult to love

“My favorite new insult to yell at people is ‘go shit in the ocean’ – they are absolutely completely bewildered by that phrase.” — Labor Journo Mike Elk.

Buttry buys beer

“Harris Teeter auto checkout machine asked me to show clerk ID for buying beer, then asked if I qualified for senior discount. No.” — JRC Community Engagement Director Steve Buttry, who formerly engaged the community for TBD.

CNBC and NYT‘s John Hardwood assesses Santorum Vs. Romney: “Santorum is Romney’s superior in projecting authenticity and passion, but very much his inferior in looking like a president.”

Paultards, Michelletards

“I don’t care if you like or dislike @RonPaul…the use of ‘Paultards’ to describe Paul supporters is offensive.” — The Daily Caller‘s new sensation Michelle Fields. (We’re thinking she might not like “Michelletards” for members of her fan club either.)

A campaign note from Candy…

“Home repacking and rethinking. Remember when I said never knew a candidate who ‘reassessed’ a campaign and didn’t quit? Delete.” — CNN’s Candy Crowley.

Journo preps for weekend of filthy TV marathons

“So glad I came home to an episode of ‘Dance Moms’ #StartingTheWeekendOutRight – #JerseyShore later!” — The Washington Examiner‘s Yeas & Nays writer Nikki Schwab.

WH reporters get tongue-in-cheek suggestion

“WH today suggested reporters to visit Cap Hill and see if any members are around or not: ergo: Congress in recess.” — CBS White House radio reporter Mark Knoller.