“I won’t go on Twitter today, I won’t do it.” — MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” Co-host Mika Brzezinski after discussing her new self-revealing book on weight, Obsessed, in which she discusses her own issues and focus on being thin. She’ll appear at Politics & Prose on Thursday at 4 p.m.

Quintessential JMart Tweet: “cong pork” 

“Clyburn, talking Port of Chston, notes that cong pork is gone but — ‘They did not eliminate presidential earmarks’” — Politico Senior Political Reporter Jonathan Martin. And a weekend Q for him to ponder: “Do I have to figure out what Niall Fergie thing is or can I go on w my Saturday?”

A reporter’s Cheerios dilemma

“I’m not completely clear on what General Mills wants me to do when a Cheerios commercial includes the hash #nomnom in the corner. #nomnom!” — Yahoo! News’ Chris Wilson.

Spotted: Matthew Perry en route to D.C.

“Looks like @MatthewPerry on my flight to DC. Wonder if he wants to come on @WMALMornings to talk hockey while in town?” — WMAL and Brietbart‘s Larry O’Connor on Sunday afternoon.

Journo adds romance to life with lateness

“I purposefully cut it close when I have a train to catch. It’s more romantic that way.” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak.

Journo Love (and Hate)

With a job like mine that focuses on the worst (read: right wing) media, I sometimes forget what a national treasure @NPR is. just the best.” — Media Matters fellow Oliver Willis.

Famous last words

“What an eventful week of media news. Let’s try to behave next week, mmkay?” — HuffPost Social Media Editor Ethan Klapper.

Coffee obsessed

“Trying to figure which I like more: my first cup of coffee or my tenth.” — Breitbart editor John Nolte.

A producer’s perfect day

“Seersucker dress…check. Giant hat…check. Rainbows…check. Perfect day for a horse race.” — Fox News Senate producer Kara Rowland.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 8:17 a.m.

Editor resentful of Howard Kurtz

“1 more reason to be angry w Howard Kurtz: Story abt his firing pushed my story abt Natasha Trethewey out of Fri paper” — WaPo Book World’s Ron Charles.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

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Producer encounters weirdo at gym

“Gotta love it when there are 30 open machines at the gym and Creepy Guy has to pick the one right smack next to you.” — Kara Rowland, Fox News Senate Producer.

Best lead of the week? “As it turns out, there may be junk in that trunk.” — from Yahoo! News’ Chris Moody‘s story about a campaign worker charged with cyberstalking women, obtaining nude pictures of them and threatening them if they didn’t send him more naked pictures of themselves. What is this, Weiner: The Next Generation? He’s a former employee of Newt Gingrich‘s presidential campaign who volunteered to dress up as “Ellis the Elephpant,” a character in Callista Gingrich‘s children’s novels. Read the full story here.

Confessional

“I hate when shows do prom episodes. It just reminds me that I never went to one. Yeah, yeah I know they don’t live up to hype.” — Breitbart and Townhall‘s Lisa De Pasquale.

Politico Senior Political Reporter recommends the sausage

“If you’re in dallas and want some real tex bbq ck out @DallasLockhart — run by family of kreuz’s market and has their sausage” — Politico‘s Jonathan Martin. Tks JMart! See u  4 din in Tex. #JMartTweets

Apparently this is a popular spot…“Dinner tonight at Lockhart Smokehouse, in Oak Cliff neighborhood I swear did not exist a decade ago. Dallas one of best food towns in nation.” — ABC News Political Director Rick Klein.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:36 a.m.

Editor seeks Christian guidance for his kids (on Twitter)

“Anybody got a good book recommendation on teaching kids self control, preferably from a Christian perspective?” – RedState Editor and FNC Contributor Erick Erickson.

Anticipatory sequestration travel woes

“Just got an email from Frontier about flight delays because of sequestration…for a flight more than 2 weeks away.” — HuffPost‘s Elise Foley.

Promises Promises

“I’ll try to misspell a couple of words in each piece I write for the Washington Times, just so you know it’s me.” — Chuck Woolery, former “Love Connection” host and now a TWT columnist.

The always amazing Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

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The Media Critic

“Tonight I will officially be able to tweet, “Awww, crap. Did Bikram Yoga thru All In with Chris Hayes!” – Brian Beutler

 The Traffic Cop

“If you’re looking to drive anywhere in our great city today, know that many traffic lights on constitution and independence aren’t working.” – Politico’s Jake Sherman

Speaking of Jam Bands

“Want to see a clip of John Fogerty jamming with Clarence Clemons, Jerry Garcia & B Weir?” – Politico’s Jonathan Martin, who linked to a video that we did not click.

The New Guy

“good idea: giving @dcbigjohn the job of catching it when ppl fuck up. bad idea: being the person that fucked up.” – Buzzfeed’s Evan McMorris-Santoro catches heat from Bureau Chief John Stanton.

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Journo feels guilty about potty time: #1 or #2?

“Just used the bathroom and felt guilty about it. #filiblizzard #RandPaul.” — The Hill‘s Feature Editor Emily Goodin.

Senator’s filibuster alters reporter’s TV watching habits

“I don’t usually turn on C-SPAN for evening entertainment when I get home, but curiosity has gotten the best of me tonight.” — FNC’s Shannon Bream.

Speaking of the filibustering senator…

“Louie Gohmert brings Halls cough drops and a giant ass Kit Kat bar to Rand Paul on the floor.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

Uh oh.

“Could you dorks please stop telling what Rand Paul is eating? Mkay? Thanks.” — Politico‘s Ben White. (We’re not trying to start anything, but did White just call Stanton a dork?)

Incest Desk: “Congrats to my talented wife @BetsyMTP on becoming senior ep at MTP!” — Politico‘s Jonathan Martin pointing to — what a shocker — a story on Politico‘s media blog. Wonder how they got the news!

The Stakeout

“What have I been doing the last two and half hours? Standing outside across the street from Obama’s meeting with some Senate Republicans.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.

Advice…“Most bosses have their ugly sides, and it’s the staffers’ role to hide that from the world.” — Roll Call’s new advice columnist Rebecca Gale tells Capitol Hill aide who works for a “yeller” that he or she should stay quiet about the boss’s temper. Read the whole saga here.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 9 a.m.

Tucker Carlson mocks “losers” on Twitter

“‘I’m not seeking their approval,’ he says of detractors. ‘Why should I care if a bunch of losers on Twitter don’t like it?” — The Daily Caller‘s Tucker Carlson in a story this week by WaPo‘s new faux ombudsman Paul Farhi, who prefaced the above, writing, “In the face of withering criticism of his site’s reporting, Carlson is unbowed.” Farhi focused his largely easygoing story on Carlson and The Daily Caller and did not interview WaPo reporters on their reporting regarding the Sen. Bob Menendez hooker debacle that went down between The Daily Caller and WaPo this week. Read the full story here.

National Review‘s Jonah Goldberg on fatherhood… continued…

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For example, JMart sent this tweet on Tuesday morning: “LaCivita cites dislike 4 “mandates” RT @LVozzella: Cuccinelli backed failed bid to ease ultrasound-before-abortion law goo.gl/yK5Ng.” We particularly enjoy the substitution of numerals for words. It’s a trademark for young high-school students JMart. Another calling card is to use slang and shorthand when he doesn’t even need to. Just write the word, “for.” Why make it look like you are writing in binary code?

It only gets worse. continued…

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Slogan for ’90 Harkin campaign I was privileged to work on was Courage of His Convictions. Right then, right now. He was a mentor to many.

— David Plouffe (@davidplouffe) January 26, 2013

President Obama‘s outgoing strategist and advisor David Plouffe recently made his smashing debut on Twitter. So far, 10 tweets and thousands of immediate followers. But among those tweets, he manages to do what Washington does well, which is to inject yourself into a big news story. In this case, the story was Sen. Tom Harkin‘s (D-Iowa) announcement to retire. It’s not nearly as grotesque as others sound when they do it.

Plouffe does admit he is in need of “serious detox” from his former job. This morning he writes, “1st day post WH. Minor ice closes/delays schools. First instinct is to think if announcements on the level. Need serious detox.”

The former advisor has just 35 followers and 8,515 followers. Which journalists are among the handpicked 35? They include NYT‘s Nate Silver, Washington Bureau Chief David Leonhardt, National Political Correspondent Jeff Zeleny, Politico‘s Jonathan Martin (this could get interesting with Martin’s teenage girl tweeting style), CBS Political Director John Dickerson, NBC “MTP” host David Gregory, WSJ tech columnist Walt Mossberg, WaPo‘s Capital Weather Gang, and NBC Political Director Chuck Todd.

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PRINCE JASPER: “Dana Perino, good to see that Jasper was cleared of those stuffed animal murder charges” — FiveFanPhotoshops, the ultimate fan of FNC’s “The Five”, which photoshops members of “The Five” into all sorts of situations, including Jasper, the beloved dog of host Dana Perino.

HuffPost headline elicits reaction from HuffPost writer

“Nice job with the headlines, HuffPost: ‘Rough Day For Naked Pooping Masturbator’” — HuffPost‘s Christina Wilkie. She links to the story here.

Journo hits new high watching CSPAN 3

“Sign of the times: CSPAN 3 on cable is flickering, dropping. On computer? Working fine, and ahead of TV.” — Yahoo! News‘ Olivier Knox.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer on women in combat: “Women are going to go into combat w/US forces. Since I was sniper in Haganah (Israeli freedom fighters) I’m all for that.”

In defense of Beyoncé

“Are any of the people being OUTRAGED about Beyonce lip-syncing considering this important fact: SHE’S FUCKING BEYONCE?” — The Sunday Times’ outspoken columnist Caitlin Moran.

Furry hats abound in Washington

“It’s finally cold enough to wear the furry hat. I’m sad it’s finally warm enough to wear the furry hat.” — Kelly Ann Collins, marketing strategist.

“The temperature is now lower than the ages of both my children. It’s cold. I’m old.” — WaPo Bookworld’s Ron Charles.

Oh no he didn’t! Nolte insults Cokie

“What’s ET doing on Morning Joe? Oh, that’s Cokie Roberts.” — Breitbart.com Editor John Nolte regarding longtime NPR correspondent Cokie Roberts.

NYT’s communications assistant has an amusing observation and two journos agree Sunday shows ought to go… continued…

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Justin Green

So far so good. Intoxicated in a quote, intoxicated in the headline. It’s an interesting word and lures you into the story. So what’s the big deal? continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Politico‘s Jonathan Martin had a tough night last night. After all, he had something happen that only happens at second-grade talent shows. In short, his kazoo stopped working and he lost a trivia contest.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Maybe he’s seen the light and got hooked on phonics? Has he reformed? Well, not entirely. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“This here is a Christopher Hitchens Christmas ornament.” — The Hill’s Daniel Strauss. 

Questionable footwear

“Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse’s shoes — not what a senator typically wears to work.” — HuffPost‘s Ethan Klapper.

Journo’s react to laziness accusation: NYT‘s Carl Hulse comes up with perfect response

“Laziness in political reporting is becoming an epidemic.” — Josh Holmes.

• “I’d like to know what he means but wld take 2 much time.” — NYT‘s Carl Hulse.

• “I totally agree. I mean, I haven’t checked, but totally true.” — Politico‘s Josh Gerstein.

Journo wants legal help with parking ticket

“I need a constitutional law attorney to help me with a parking ticket, pro bono. Any volunteers?” — Politico White House reporter Byron Tau.

 ABC reporter bashes CNN

“CNN’s headline that Obama/GOP are ‘running out of time’ on fiscal cliff is the reason people don’t watch CNN.” — ABC News’ Matt Negrin.

Quote Taken Out of Context

“I’m just bummed Kei$ha couldn’t make the afterparty.” — Politico‘s Dave Catanese.

Hey Touré: WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?

“@Toure since you’re RTing me how about UNBLOCKING me so I can FOLLOW YOU.” — FBDC and TheBlaze‘s Eddie Scarry.

Bosom Buddies

“First reported by @JakeSherman the #GOP has sent a new cliff offer back to the WH.” — NBC’s Luke Russert. Luke’s bff is Politico congressional reporter Jake Sherman.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day (although we’re absurdly glad he did it)

“~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<”)))><~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<”))><~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~” — Politico‘s Dylan Byers.

See what has a cartoonist in a twist… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“The networks are all driving me crazy to do television shows—“a ratings machine”—but because of Apprentice have been loyal to NBC.” — Former never had a shot in hell presidential hopeful Donald Trump.

Journo meets her twin: Rachel Maddow (And no, we’re not referring to MSNBC’s Chris Hayes)

“Never met Maddow until now. We kind of look alike. My intro: ‘Are you my long lost sister?’ Her: ‘Glad we both got the memo.’ Maddow, heading into West Wing, said she was here for a ‘hippie cabal.’ Asked if I was coming. NO, DAMN IT, I WASN’T INVITED.” — HuffPost‘s Jennifer Bendery.

Capitol Police come to the rescue of a cell phone

“Phone just fell and slid into a member’s personal storage closet. Big thanks to the five Capitol Police who came to rescue it.” — Lauren French, Politico Pro tax reporter.

Dan Froomkin tweets like a 12-year-old

“If u cn give info 2 the press w/no intent of it going 2 enemy & b found guilty of aiding the enemy… that’s scary.”  — HuffPost‘s Dan Froomkin, who has been taking tweeting lessons from Politico‘s Jonathan Martin. Read this 5 times. He links 2 this.

Important Q’s to Ponder: “Didn’t Anna Wintour and Rod Blagojevich get there [sic] hair from same play doh factory?” — Breitbart.com‘s Dana Loesch. And this: What are anna wintour’s qualifications to be uk ambassador other than her accent? (which is very good.)” — ABC News reporter Matt Negrin.

Tapper on Beck’s show to discuss — are you crazy, what else? — The OutPost

“Here I am on @glennbeck’s show today talking about The Outpost.” — ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper. His next appearance: Sesame Street, followed by Snapped.  bit.ly/TMEVDE

Smart ass!

“How about ‘up?’ That’s a direction.” — HuffPost‘s Jeff Young in a moment of dripping sarcasm. He was reacting to this from NBC News: “NASA needs stronger direction to lead in space, report finds.”

Cliffhanger: Journo weighs reconciliation with ex

“After a year apart the ex wants to reconcile. He has definitely changed. #sohaveI #surprisingdecision” — MetroWeekly‘s Randy Shulman. He continued, “Sometimes the only correct answer is no. #doingsomethingformyselfforonce.” And finally: “Have agreed to have dinner and hear him out at least.” Hey Randy, let us know what happens! Now we’re invested.

Senator questions armored cars at pumpkin festivals

“Spending must be cut for #fiscalcliff when gov pays for armored vehicles to guard rural pumpkin festivals. All in my DHS report out tmrw.” — Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.).

Hess on fence on nipple-related act

“Is projectile ejaculating frosting from your nipples a feminist act? Katy Perry says no but I’m still on the fence.” — Slate blogger Amanda Hess. She links to this story that she wrote headlined: “Enough with the feminism police.”

Find out what’s making Steve Buttry all nostalgic… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

With the election now less than two weeks ago, journos are limping to the finish line of Election Day. Their heads are spinning wildly from the back and forth travel, changing news cycle and fatigue. Maybe THAT’S the reason Politico’s SENIOR Political Reporter Jonathan Martin has a Twitter feed that reads like an ancient Egyptian riddle. We never know what the hell he’s trying to tell us.

Youth-targeted obama ad on dc fm radio includes narrator saying “come on, man!” and 2 refs to mitt having 2 harvard degrees

— jmartpolitico (@jmartpolitico) October 21, 2012

Luckily, we speak JMart-ese. We’ll translate… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

But on Monday night comedian and actor Pauly Shore attended the presidential debate Monday night in Boca Raton, Fla. with a credential issued by Politico. Everyone gets a credential. It has your photo, name and organization. His said Paul Shore, POLITICO.

Spies tell us…

UPDATE: Politico‘s Sara Olson writes, “Hey Betsy – Pauly Shore was not and is not working for POLITICO. Thanks! Sara” So we asked her what we did her boss: So then why was he credentialed as though he is working there?

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Someone wrote me an email and said they thought the Secret Service was going to intervene.” — Politico‘s Mike Allen early this morning on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”

By Far, Funniest Reaction of the Night

“Mitt shot his whole wad in the first debate.” — D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton. Whoa, Eleanor, HUH?! WaPo‘s Mike DeBonis tried to come to her defense, saying, “To defend Eleanor Norton a bit, she’s an aficionado of antique muzzle loading firearms. I hope.”

Sweet and Sour Reaction to Candy

“Candy Crowley holding the reins tight tonight…no shenanigans in her house.” — NBC’s and E!’s Ryan Seacrest.

“Best & worst moment of debate was Candy correcting Romney – she was right, but I’m not sure she should have inserted herself in that way.” — Roll Call‘s Emily Pierce.

“Righties already trying to make this about the Qs and moderator.” — Politico‘s SENIOR political reporter Jonathan Martin in what may be his first understandable tweet in awhile. Congrats JMart!

“I’m terribly disappointed in Candy. I defended her today, and I was wrong.” — Houston Chronicle political blogger and Newsbusters’ Kathleen McKinley.

“Ok Candy, you better facilitate, not follow-up!” — Conservative blogger Matt Mackowiack.

“Candy Crowley proved why these media fact checkers are toxic liars.” — Breitbart.com’s John Nolte.

“(I worked with Candy Crowley at CNN and think she’s terrific)” — CBS News investigative journo Sharyl Attkisson.

“A lot of anger on the Twitters at Crowley for challenging Mitt. You see, that isn’t supposed to happen.” — WaPo lefty blogger Greg Sargent.

“I must say that if you aren’t drinking some Jack Daniels during this debate you really are missing something.” — Roll Call Columnist and Political Analyst Stuart Rothenberg.

“Who won the debate tonight? Candy Crowley. She knew her facts and made sure she pointed them out to her opponents. She’s got my vote.” — Author Jonathan Krohn.

Debate Recap: Top Quotes

“If Sec. Clinton is responsible for the security failure in Benghazi, who is responsible for 8 days of of b.s.about what happened that day?” — FNC’s Brit Hume.

“As a woman voter, I feel very wanted tonight!” — ABC talk show host Katie Couric.

“OMG. Panelist on FOX News just said ‘BULLSHIT!’” — ABC7′s Mike Conneen.

“I was filing during that Libya exchange, but holy living fuck.” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

“Candy Crowley halts Romney in his tracks, calling him out live in real time on an incorrect Libya statement.” — NYT‘s Ashley Parker.

“I’m excitable – but politics is about emotion as well as reason. My view is Obama halted Mitt’s momentum in its tracks.” — The Daily Beast‘s Andrew Sullivan.

“Watching the @politicolive show again on dc newschannell 8. Forget how fun it was to watch, albeit kind of a train wreck.” — QGA and longtime Senate flack Jim Manley.

“The town hall debate format makes me feel bad about the human condition, like that “What Would You Do” hidden camera show. #sighbinder” — Digital media exec Kenny Day.

“Bottom line: Obama was far more aggressive this time, these 2 men don’t like each other and this race is still a toss-up.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

“No one puts baby in a binder.” — National Journal‘s Chris Frates.

“Ok, goodnight everyone. tucking myself into my binder for some shuteye.” — AtlanticWire Senior Writer Jen Doll.

“Chris Matthews is wetting his pants in joy, gibbering like a meth freak on laughing gas.” — Conservative blogger and former TWTer Robert Stacy McCain.

“Bottom bottom line: Obama shows up big timme and wins. Is it enough to reverse the polarities?” — HuffPost‘s Howard Fineman.

“MSNBC fawning. Fox News fuming. A pox on both your houses.” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak.

“Love switching channels. MSNBC says clr Obama win, CNN, eh, slight Obama edge. Fox still talking about Benghazi.” — NYT‘s Jonathan Weisman.

“Did Van Jones just call Mitt Romney a ‘DOUCHE’ on CNN – @CNNSituationRoom? Wow, didn’t think that was permitted.” — former Eric Cantor Spokesman Brad Dayspring, who now works as senior adviser to the YG Action Fund.

Greta sees hot pink and blue

“Yes, it is true…both wives in a hot pink (or at least on my monitor it looks like hot pink but faces can be bluish on my tv monitor)” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren.

Important Q to Ponder: “Do I have time to make pierogies before this debate? Yes, yes I do!” — The Washington Examiner‘s Nikki Schwab.

Something else to Ponder: “How, in a country as powerful and dynamic as ours, could bindersfullofwomen.com not already be taken?” — WSJ‘s Neil King.

The Observer

“You keep it crazy, Bobby Jindal.” — Ronan Farrow, son of Mia and Woody Allen, reacting to post debate interviews from Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal. Farrow is a writer, human rights lawyer and formerly Sec. of State Hillary Clinton‘s Special Adviser for Global Youth issues.

And another journo eats chicken…

“Chicken in pot, my debate night tradition. Thanks, Herbert Hoover!” — blogger and pundit Craig Crawford. Anonymous writes in, “That’s a sweet tradition, but his shicken looks like a dog’s dinner.”

Good rap quote from whitest guy in Washington

“Mystikal: That’s right my meat and potatoes come from my lyrical label I throw my rhymes for No Limit like Jeff George throw for the Raiders” — NBC’s Luke Russert.

Ouch!

“Joe Scarborough will suck-up to a guest, then trash-talk them 24 hours later. Tells you all you need to know…#MSNBCfail” — The Daily Caller TV Reporter Jeff Poor.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.