Quotes of the Day — The Mindmeld Edition: A melding of everything worthy, weird and otherwise from the past four days.

Journo’s cat sets her alarm clock

“The cat stepped on my iPhone dock alarm clock last night and set it to go off at 7 a.m. Which it did. Which was wonderful. #gah” — WaPo Express‘s Sara Schwartz in a tweet that Politico‘s resident cat lover Patrick Gavin might appreciate. We’re sure Gavin’s cats don’t have tricks like that.

White House scribe details Michelle O’s attire down to thighs

“The top of the first lady’s dress was a bright orange racerback; from mid-torso to mid-thigh it has a green and white jungle-like print; the final piece that fell to the knee was a grayish pattern.” — Politico‘s Jennifer Epstein in a Sunday Pool Report from Hawaii.

Corn on Bachmann on God

“Short version of Bachmann campaign event: God, God, God, God, God, God.” — Mother Jones‘ Washington Bureau Chief David Corn.

Necessary Tweet of the Day

“Here’s to a new year in which cell phone and Twitter users learn the value of an unexpressed thought.” — AP Radio News’ Jon Belmont.

Reporter does what it takes

“This crazy Iowa wind blew the address I need out of hand & across the parking lot. I literally parkoured [sic] over a fence to get it. #nprlife” — NPR White House Correspondent Ari Shapiro.

Journo loses cologne to TSA

“Leaving my new Christmas gift (cologne) in SC because it was .2oz too much. Thanks TSA.” — FBDC’s and The Blaze‘s Eddie Scarry, who explained that the cologne, Cool Water by Davidoff, was a sentimental re-gift from his father.

Not surprisingly, Walsh criticizes an R

“Leslie Stahl admitted that interview was part of a Cantor push to soften and humanize his richly deserved awful image. Ick.” — Salon Editor-at-Large Joan Walsh of Sunday’s “60 Minutes” interview with House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor.

Ahh…the warmth of the holidays

“Nice to see the TSA in ATL not give a hard time to the 3 yo with the toy gun who refused to let it leave his hand.” — RedState.com Editor-in-Chief and CNN Contributor Erick Erickson.

Um, Happy New Year?

“Ooh. Time for another round of my favorite neighborhood game: Fireworks or Gunshot?” — Reason Magazine Associate Editor Peter Suderman.

Words to live by…“Don’t forget: Resolutions are for quitters.” — Capitol File Editor-in-Chief Kate Bennett.

Birth Week: Nibbles Knox, son of AFP‘s Olivier Knox. A note from Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner: “Happy birthday to the famous Nibbles Knox! May this year be filled with all the legos your little heart ever could desire @OKnox” — (quote by and h/t to Shiner. h/t to Politico‘s Mike Allen for the phrase h/t.) HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIBBLES!

Things are getting weird in Iowa

“Local reporter, desperate for people to interview, asks Jeff Zeleny if he’s media or voter. #blending” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel on NYT‘s Zeleny.

“Lady sitting next to me at Atlantic, Iowa, diner, on being a campaign reporter: ‘I think that would be a terrible job.’” — Politico‘s Reid Epstein.

“Went to the lobby to get coffee. When the desk clerk saw my bed head I thought he might offer me medical treatment.” — CBS Political Director John Dickerson.

Funky Convo Between Two Journos

TPM‘s Evan McMorris-Santoro: “Happy Des Moines time new year to the crew @TPM, best support staff a road warrior’s ever had.” HuffPost‘s Elise Foley: “#puke.”

Travel writer starts new year on funereal note

“And…my first day of the year starts w a funeral. Sort of nice, though. #perspective.” — National Geographic Traveler Contributing Editor Carl Hoffman.

A given…“Sorry in advance for all the irresponsible things I’m going to do to 2012.” — HuffPost’s left-wing media reporter Jason Linkins.

Editor salutes his Beagle

“Smartest living being in the house today: Fred the Beagle, who laid his head on the remote during the Jets game and changed the channel.” — Digital First Media Editor-in-Chief and former TBD GM Jim Brady.

Just who is Ben Smith?

“@benpolitico Someone from buzzfeed’s at this Santorum event trying 2 explain who u r to Iowan lady of certain age. She seems mystified alas.” — The Hill‘s Niall Stanage.

ME ME ME ME ME

“@danielabrams: dan abrams” — Mediaite founder Dan Abrams. To which Weigel replied simply, “#fail.” (To Abrams we give Tigi’s Bed Head line of conditioner called Self Absorbed for his lux locks.)

Is he SERIOUS?

“Is it New Years Eve 2011 or New Years Eve 2012? I get confused every year.” — Cheoff Geoff Tracy, husband to CBS Chief White House Correspondent Norah O’Donnell.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“If you’re tracking, tonight’s Santorum Sweater Vest Color is navy blue. Or black. On CNN live now.” — Digital Producer for CNN Erin Burnett‘s “Out Front” Mark Joyella.

Today FishbowlMatt and I take you inside last night’s book party at the Northwest Washington home of Daily Caller Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson and his wife, Susie, for famed ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff. The book: Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America’s Most Notorious Lobbyist. We’ll give you a play-by-play interpretation of what went down — FishbowlDC style. Some of it’s blind quoting, eavesdropping, and prison jokes, for which we make no apologies. Some of it’s petty and juvenile and involves taking advantage of people who have had a few drinks (a la HuffPost‘s Drunken Specialist Sam Stein), for which we also make no apologies. By the way, actor Kevin Spacey and former Washington Mayor Marian Barry both RSVP’d that they’d attend. Neither showed. Who did? Find out after the jump…

Let’s begin.

5:07 p.m. FishbowlMatt texts and wants to know what I’m wearing. I tell him I’m dressing down, that we’re going to a party where there will be an island of misfits and we can wear whatever we want. I assure him my outfit will not incorporate Stephanie Green golf ball-size multi-strand pearl necklaces.

6:40 p.m. We arrive fashionably early Tucker’s house and are greeted by friendly valets.

6:41 p.m. Publicist Janet Donovan arrives by cab with a giant golden handbag.

6:42 p.m. It’s 66 degrees outside. Roaring fire clearly for ambiance. Not function.

6:45 p.m. Tucker is holding court by the fireplace discussing the Politico story about The Daily Caller‘s “growing pains” published earlier in the day. He has a lot of reactions, one of which involves explaining the importance of “pissing up.” All in all, the story didn’t upset him.

6:55 p.m. We go to the more remote bar off the living room where intern Jordan Bloom is dressed in a white shirt and black bow tie and tending bar. Matt writes, “We meet Jordan Bloom, battered intern.”

7 p.m. Daily Caller reporter Matthew Boyle arrives and chats up Tucker about the Politico story. Boyle refuses to talk to any member of the press on the record.

7:10 p.m. We run into communications exec David Bass in a big fat striped suit. The suit has fat blue and white stripes; Bass isn’t plump. We start snapping his picture. He wants a do over, explaining, “I have the same stupid look on my face in every picture. Let me try not to look stupid.”

7:20 p.m. Oh look. It’s The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash. He quickly admires FishbowlMatt’s gray tweed pants and says I’m not allowed to write anything about anything he says or he’ll break both my legs (the first part of this is true). FBDCMatt describes his trousers as a “tweed flannel hybrid.” Labash is clearly impressed.

7:21 p.m. More guests arrive. FishbowlMatt commentary: “There’s a glitterball coming in right now.”

7:22 p.m. Bathroom door locks but doesn’t latch. Not worth taking a chance. (Capitol File Editor-in-Chief Kate Bennett will later say someone walked in on her while she was in the can. She says she was just washing her hands.)

7: 25 p.m. Politico‘s Patrick Gavin and FishbowlMatt begin an in-depth conversation about no-iron shirts. Matt says he’s a “holy hell sweater.” Gavin says he plans to buy a decent wardrobe in the new year. Tonight he has worn a long-sleeved maroon shirt made of waffle material. It’s from the Gap.

7:30 p.m. I place a half-full wine glass on a stack of Jack Abramoff books for a moment and an undisclosed reporter says, “He was in prison for three years and tried not to get rimmed and look what you’re doing with a wine glass on the Abramoff books.”

7:33 p.m. An undisclosed reporter asks, “Who is that fat guy on the couch? I mean, he’s ‘stop-on-the-street’ fat. Isn’t he?”

7:34 p.m.: NYT‘s Mark Leibovich chats with partygoers. He says the book’s slowly coming along but that he must get back to regular newspaper writing soon. Guests tell him they can’t wait to read his book.

7:35 p.m. The living room speeches begin. Tucker says (in part): “I think Jack is a genuinely nice person. I don’t trust anyone who hasn’t been humiliated in public.” He mentions being on “Dancing With the Stars.”

7:37 p.m. Jack: “I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart,” he tells a packed room of guests. “This is my first book and may be my last if no one reads it.” He explains that his publicist Janet “is working me to the ground. I had 17 interviews today. I don’t have a tail and horns.” He says his wife, Pam, doesn’t read newspapers or watch TV. He also says she kept removing herself from the book until he explained that he had to explain where their children came from. Jack on prison life: “It’s a horrific place.” Jack on the kindness of others: “I’m not sure we deserve it, but I hope we keep meriting your friendship.” He recounts being on FNC’s Sean Hannity‘s program last week. He told Hannity he was going to appear on MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell‘s show. Hannity tried to talk him out of it, telling him it was a waste of time. Jack appeared on O’Donnell’s “Last Word” anyhow and grew frightened as he spotted Michael Moore. He thought to himself, ‘We better hide.’ Soon he hears Moore inquiring, “Where’s Jack?” Moore approached and said, “God bless you. Keep up the great work. It’s fantastic.” Jack’s reaction: “Am I dreaming?” He calls the evening at Carlson’s home “the finest night of our lives in the last eight years. This tops them all.”

8:30 p.m. (roughly): A guest is ready to leave. He remarks, “I think I’ve done my time here, so to speak.” Reporters in the vicinity laugh.

Find out which reporter with a liberal agenda crashed the party…

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You know you’re one hell of a flack when a flock of journos bust their midday beat to break bread in your honor.  And such is the case of Kelley McCormick,  former partner at Qorvis Communications and Reese Witherspoon lookalike.  McCormick and her new role as Gibraltar Associates COO were toasted yesterday at a swanky lunch hosted by “Meet the Press” EP Betsy Fischer and the one and only Tammy Haddad.

Nearly 40 guests mingled over champagne before sitting down to a three-course wine luncheon of split pea soup with creme fraiche, bacon-garnished crab cake and tasty dessert.  Both Fischer and Haddad shared kind words about their friend before Gibraltar CEO Eric Bovim raised a glass to McCormick, gushing “I can’t imagine doing this without her.”

Attendees of the fancy-pants lunch fete included Politico’s Mike Allen, NBC White House producer Alicia Jennings, WaPo’s Amy Argetsinger, Examiner’s Nikki Schwab, The Hill’s Kate Oczypok, DC’s Karen Sommer Shalett, Janet Donovan, Cap File’s Kate Bennett and Sarah Schaffer, Huffington Post’s Christina Wilkie, Kiki Ryan, Bloomberg’s Ha Chan, Tracy Sefl, Washingtonian’s Sophie Gilbert, Washington Life‘s Michael Clements, Emily Lenzner, Poshbrood’s Elizabeth Thorp, Twitter’s Adam Sharp, WBJ‘s Jen Nycz-Conner and SELF‘s Marc Adleman.  Congrats to Kelley!

L to R: Betsy Fischer, Mike Allen, Kate Bennett, Halle Mayes, Tammy Haddad, Marc Adelman, Kelley McCormick.

*All photos courtesy of Haddad Media.

QUOTES of the DAY

Cream-filled Blankley

The Fashion Critic

“Tony Blankley‘s suit hurts my eyes.” — The Daily Caller‘s TV writer Jeff Poor in a Sunday tweet on the Executive Veep of Edelman public relations. See Blankley’s creamy Sunday TV ensemble above from his appearance on CNN’s “Reliable Sources” program.

The prognosticator

“Suspect POTUS’s opening statement will go something like this: ‘At least I tried.’” — The Hill‘s White House Correspondent Sam Youngman in a Sunday tweet.

Kate inquires about Kate’s waist

“Who’s got the over/under on Kate Middleton‘s waist size?” — Capitol File Magazine Editor Kate Bennett in a weekend tweet.

Journo love

“David Gregory is on his game this morning. Hard-hitting interviews with both Secretary Geithner and @timpawlenty. #meetthepress” — Huffpost Front Page Editor Chris Gentilviso in a Sunday tweet.

Joan Walsh admits lack of Twitter self-discipline

“OK, I have to stay off Twitter today to write. I have to. I wish they’d lock my account for 48 hours…bye!” — Salon’s Editor-at-Large Joan Walsh in a weekend tweet. Walsh is a regular on MSNBC’s “Hardball.”

Betty Ford Jokes: Too soon?

“Personally, I think the revelation that @stephenfhayes offered Betty Ford a Maker’s Mark should be trending on twitter.” — National Review Online‘s Jonah Goldberg in a weekend tweet after news of Betty Ford’s death broke. The Weekly Standard‘s Stephen Hayes remarked on Twitter previously, “It was at the 1996 GOP convention, shortly before Pres Ford spoke. I offered her Maker’s Mark. #idiot”

Media consultant prefers drugs to airport monotony

“This is brain. This is your brain on drugs. This is your brain after six hours waiting at an airport. I prefer drugs.” — Digital media consultant for JRC and former TBD GM Jim Brady in a weekend tweet.

Capitol File‘s Kate Bennett, husband, Cab, and their daughter.

A smattering of journos showed up to Tackle Box last night at its new Cleveland Park location. They offered a sampling off the newly expanded seafood menu.

Local VIPs such as Carlos Gray (Mayor Vincent Gray‘s son), WUSA 9′s Andrea Roane, NBC 4′s John Schriffen, Capitol File Magazine Editor-In-Chief Kate Bennett, KStreetKate’s Kate Michael and Luxxery Med Spa Celebrity Plastic Surgeon Dr. Ayman Hakki made a toast to owner Jonathan Umbel‘s second seafood shack.

Others in the crowd: David Bass, President and CEO of Raptor Strategies, his wife, and former Washington Examiner gossip columnist Karen Feld and, as one guest put it, her “overly medicated dog.”

From L To R: Steven Weber, Andrea Bowen, Rachel Leigh Cook, Wilder Valderrama, Robin Bronk, CQ Press First Street’s President John Jenkins and Gloria Reuben

The White Van

Valderrama was ready for his closeup.

Last night journalists were confronted with a couple of things at CQ Press’ First Street launch party at Art and Soul. First off: The stars were late. This left a dense pack of photographers, reporters and event handlers full of anticipation on the edges of a shrunken red carpet for a good while. Secondly: When the Creative Coalition showed up to the restaurant in a nondescript white van about an hour after they were due to arrive, eager fans rushed the van in a quest for autographs. This jangled the already frayed nerves of handlers who snapped and rolled their eyes at the autograph seekers and caused the red carpet procession to be more of a scrambling chaotic frenzy than it already is.

“Each one is worse than the next,” remarked Steven Weber, an actor dispatched by the Creative Coalition to red carpet events like these. He was talking about the red carpet portion of the evening only. Some might know him from NBC’s “Wings” or ABC’s “Brothers & Sisters.” Regardless, he looks familiar and people were chattering about how nice he is.

Valderrama was seen talking quietly and patiently with journalists in attendance. Despite the harried handlers, he methodically signed a slew of autographs on his way inside.

The purpose of the evening was to launch CQ Press First Street, which is owned by Sage, a worldwide publishing house, not The Economist Group. First Street aims to be a one-stop shop for journalists, lawyers and Joe Q. Public to navigate Washington’s lobbying industry. They’ve 30 employees with more hires on the way. So far AP has signed on, but Jenkins is staying silent on who else is. He doesn’t want the competition getting wind of internal info. The cost is $3,750 per year with discounts and scholarships to those who need them. “It’ll open up the transparency and help us better understand what lobbyists are doing,” Jenkins told FishbowlDC, mentioning those scholarships. “We understand journalists would love to have this and money is tight.”

Jenkins says the best part of First Street is that journalists will be able to do in a “millisecond” what would ordinarily take a week of research.

Weber, meanwhile, used his star power to praise CQ Press’ First Street, saying it’s going to be “invaluable.” He said, “It’s going to be a great way to find out who’s paying who off. It’ll be a good tool, a good way to ensure there’s disclosure.”

Once everyone barreled inside, the rest of the evening went off smoothly with speeches, booze flowing, big fried cheese balls and delicious miniature cupcakes with bright Pepto pink frosting for dessert. Journos mixed and mingled and dissected who all the stars were and in what movies or TV shows they’ve appeared. There was also chatter about Rep. Aaron Schock‘s (R-Ill.) shocking abfest on the cover of Men’s Health.

Find out who was there and see more photographs after the jump…

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QUOTES of the DAY

Congrats to Wolf

“Today marks exactly 21 years for me at #CNN — have loved every minute.” — CNN’s Wolf Blitzer in a Sunday tweet.

A journo’s food of the Gods

“Why do I ever eat anything other than avocado sprinkled with salt and wrapped in tortilla?” — The Atlantic‘s Alexis Madrigal in a Monday tweet.

Chef Geoff reacts to being on FBDC’s ‘Incest Desk’

“Not even sure what it means to make the @FishbowlDC ‘Incest Desk’” — Chef Geoff Tracy in a Monday tweet. We told him it’s a high honor.

Scribe spots mouse in Senate dining room

“Mouse was running around Dirksen Senate dining room. Guy stomped on it and killed it. Everyone was so grossed out.” — HuffPost Senior Political Reporter Amanda Terkel in a Monday tweet showing that Politico‘s Roslyn newsroom isn’t the only place that attracts mice.

Straight men can wear tight clothes too, reader says

“…Why can’t the man dress nicely in slim-fitting clothes and show off his body without being called gay? Plus, I’ve seen a ton of gay men who can’t dress for shit. Stop thinking that anytime someone wears a nice outfit that they’re gay.” — An FBDC reader with the handle @gaypornfanatic in response to our story on Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Ill.) appearing ripped on the cover of Men’s Health. Another reader, JeffreyM, says: “Single guy, no mention of a ‘personal life’, a ridiculous amount of time spent on his body, and some strangely anti-gay attitudes all add up to the House’s next Mark Foley or Larry Craig.” Finally, Capitol File‘s Editor-in-Chief Kate Bennett responds to the Schock story with this: “Um, can we talk about Rep. Aaron Shock‘s body for a minute?”

Quick convo between two journos on blind items

Washington Examiner Yeas & Nays intern Eddie Scarry: “Can someone tell me what the point of gossip ‘blind items’ is? Never understood.”

TWT‘s Emily Miller: “Blind items rock. You avoid perfect sourcing. Plus it’s a fun game for the readers to guess.”

Who wore these fab earrings to the TIME-People party last night?

Find out after the jump…

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QUOTES of the DAY

Capitol File Editor-in-Chief Kate Bennett‘s latest Twitter avatar. She says she puts it up only when she’s in “party mode.” It’s from her going away bash in Vegas.

Actor Jason Biggs in a pensive pose for FishbowlDC at a Creative Coalition/Lani Hay/Elle dinner inside the Ritz last night. Biggs has joined the Creative Coaltion entourage of actors hanging out Washington this week for the WHCD.

Well that’s unfortunate

“Wow my new Hill press pass makes me look like a serial killer.” — Bloomberg TV‘s Lizzie O’Leary in a Thursday tweet.

Anonymous quote from a Washington journalist Thursday: “You assume anyone else cares about me and my crappy life!”

Mistaken lyrics

“National anthem performer at Nats Park just said ‘gallantly dreaming’ instead of ‘streaming.’ #FAIL” — Digital media expert and former TBD GM Jim Brady in a Thursday tweet.

Dirty politics

“One of the participants has already tried to bribe me. Staying strong! #njpoliticalpursuit” — NJ “The Hotline’s” Executive Editor Reid Wilson in a Thursday tweet regarding NJ’s Political Pursuit trivia event at the Newseum Thursday night.

Juke Kartel at the Ritz last night. L to R: Dale Winters, Toby Rand and Tommy Kende.

Band member insists on seeing Obama’s birth certificate

“Love 2hrs sleep…en route LAX – Wash D.C. I’ve asked to see Obama’s birth certificate in person.” — Juke Kartel’s lead singer Toby Rand in an obviously jokester Thursday tweet. The LA-based singer and the rest of the band performed at Lani Hay‘s private party Thursday night. Band mate Dale Winters remarked on Twitter, “In Washington D.C. for weekend playing for the WHCA. Weird what things bring being a guitar player!”

And just when we thought MSNBC would go unchallenged in the post-dinner party competition this year, Capitol File emerges with an invitation to their 6th annual After Party.  Niche Media Chairman Jason Binn, Cap File EIC Kate Bennett and Publisher Sarah Schaffer have partnered up with The Creative Coalition and Bing for a festive fete at the Ronald Reagan Building from 10 PM – 2 AM.  The soiree is by invitation only but there’s good news for those who didn’t receive an invite: guests are permitted to bring a “plus one.” Start buttering up your invited friends now and you too could party the night away with Cap File next Saturday.