Quotes of the Day

“We’re just starting our second week and we want to hear from you. How’s my driving? Let us know what you like, what you think we need to work on. Email us at thelead@cnn.com.” — CNN’s Jake Tapper.

“We’re showing women bouncing their butts in our viewers’ faces. Can we just stop that?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfield on “The Five” Monday as the network showed endless b-roll of Spring Break women shaking their asses.

Hence the understatement of the week: “Fox News loves their Spring Break b-roll.” — Breitbart and Townhall‘s Lisa de Pasquale.

In other words: Happy Passover!

“Awright haters and @mmfa trolls, you soon have 49 hours to do your worst, since I am going offline for Passover. To the rest I say #Freedom!” — Breitbart.com Editor-in-Chief and in-house counsel Joel Pollack.

Actually, not a Happy Passover

“My mother is breaking my heart by sending all the family photos from the family seder I’m missing. Almost like I’ve been…passed. Over.” — Think Progress‘ Adam Peck.

TV journo tries to avoid overeating 

“If you are trying to maintain your weight don’t fly Emirates. they feed you like every 2 hours… Seriously. I finally just said stop.” — ABC7′s Stephen Tschida, our favorite traveler.

And another can’t sleep

“Wide awake hours before my alarm goes off, can’t fall back asleep. #firstworldproblems.” — Media Matters’ John Whitehouse whose Twitter handle is @existentialfish.

Attention publicists!

“Pro Tip: if you’re a publicist, don’t use ‘Comrade’ as the salutation of an unsolicited email. I won’t keep reading.” — Politico‘s James Hohmann.

Important Question to Ponder

“Why won’t the ‘Unknown’ person blowing up my phone just leave a message? #why” — WaPo and MSNBC’s Jonathan Capehart.

WTF: The Bunny and Eggs Season?

“On CA radio show, Rep. Louie Gohmert confirms his comms director is single. ‘She’s just terrific. Just absolutely terrific.’” – HuffPost‘s Jennifer Bendery. “Gohmert on Easter: ‘Some may call it ‘bunny and eggs’ season. It’s Easter.’”

Reporter blasts Rosenne Barr. Read more

Quotes of the Day

“I hate that bitch.” — Lesley Murphy, the Washington, D.C. political consultant who was sent home last night on ABC’s “The Bachelor” after ultimately deciding not to tell the Bachelor that she was falling in love with him. She was talking about the villainous Tierra LiCausi, an emotional woman who was sent home last night because she couldn’t stop crying and fighting with the other women in competition for Sean Lowe‘s love.

“Living large at 42, Joe.” — Politico Executive Editor Jim VandeHei on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” this morning. His birthday is today. Amazing, he got a rather low-key mention in Politico Playbook, curiously coming in just after Robert Griffin III and USA Today Washington Bureau Chief Susan Page. What the hell, third?

SOTU guest suggestions

“Waiting for a Dem to invite a homeless penguin b/c of climate change and Republican to invite a destitute coal exec b/c of EPA to SOTU.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

Politico Playbook publish time: 7:40 a.m.

NPR freelancer sick of unruly toddlers

“Oh lady who sets her toddlers free in the lobby every day, we may have words.” — NPR freelancer Lizzie O’Leary, who recently opened up to Cosmo mag about her painful bout with endometriosis and why she left CNN — obviously she can’t go on the air on Vicodin. In the story, she mentioned her intellectual prowess. The quote: “I got the amazing chance to be a CNN correspondent, but my body just wasn’t capable of doing that. But it’s also been this very strange gift. For so long, I defined myself as a journalist, and in the time when I’ve been sick, I’ve learned to define myself as a daughter and a sister and a girlfriend and an intellectual.”

Catholic newsflash for the media

“Dear Media — just because a group has ‘Catholic’ in its name does not mean it speaks for Catholics. i.e. Catholics United.” — John Kartch, spokesman to Americans for Tax Reform Prez Grover Norquist.

The Observer

“I believe Maria Cantwell got a new haircut (or at least is styling a little differently) and I like the side bang.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner on the Democratic senator from Washington state.

Media writer fully expects CBS to blow him off

“The Erik Wemple Blog has reached out to CBS News for perspective on all of this. We expect absolutely no response.” — The conclusion of WaPo Erik Wemple‘s story on CBS Major Garrett‘s unexpected explosion of “shirty” profanity Monday. Garrett, CBS’s Chief White House Correspondent, hasn’t yet responded to the torrent of eager reporters. But he did say this: “Monday before SOTU is always slow. Pity. I was speaking to @JOSreports. He knows why. I hear S#%* is REALLY hitting the fan in Damascus.”

Important Q to Ponder from the R media: “Is surgical removal of @Toure‘s lips from @BarackObama‘s posterior covered by ObamaCare? #justcurious.” — Newsbuster‘s Ken Shepherd. Touré c0-hosts MSNBC’s “The Cycle.”

Which Washington reporter just went on book leave?

Read more

Quotes of the Day

Understatement: TNR staffer hates to wait

“Fuck me. That took three hours of my life and I still don’t have a press badge.” — The New Republic‘s staff writer Julia Ioffe who spent much of her day getting credentialed for President Obama‘s inauguration.

Writer admits to weepy day

“Spent a lot of time crying earlier today. Then I remembered that time Herman Cain sang the lyrics of amazing grace to the tune of danny boy.” — Freelancer Moe Tkacik.

Asst. managing editor chases tow truck

“There’s just nothing like sprinting after your car, which is being towed, in the rain.” — Katherine Miller, Asst. Managing Editor for Washington Free Beacon. The conclusion: “Don’t worry: I did outrun the tow truck, which chauffeured me to a nearby ATM.”

Deep thoughts on abortion with WaPo’s Gene Weingarten

“It is an early fetus, Ken. Not a kid till it screams on a plane or poops out the diaper leg hole.” — WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten to Newsbusters’ Ken Shepherd and his flatulent-ridden colleague Tim Graham. Shepherd had written to the open liberal Weingarten, “A human fetus, ergo a human being, ergo a human child. But if it helps you sleep at night, continue to lie to yourself about the child-killing nature of abortion.”

New York mag writer says Atlantic shouldn’t whore its brand

“Earnest tweet: Best way to help the great journalists at The Atlantic is to let business side grasp there are limits to whoring their brand.” — New York magazine’s Jonathan Chait, in regards to Scientology “sponsor content” published in The Atlantic.

Which TV journo is recovering from bronchitis; which flak prefers shorter voicemails and a clear phone number? Read more

Quotes of the Day

Dear Fishbowlers: Various things stole our attention this morning, so just for today we’re offering an afternoon version of Morning Chatter. Won’t be a habit.

The “sexy-ass” Michael Tomasky

“@bpshow always good 2 get up early in san fran 2 see the sexy-ass Michael Tomasky on the tube. Bill, have him on more often!!” — Rhonda. Tomasky is a special correspondent for Newsweek/The Daily Beast.

Spotted in D.C…. BuzzFeed publicist Ashley McCollum, who was visited from Manhattan, drinking Jasmine-flavored tea last night at a mysterious tea house off Dupont Circle. We hear she later dined with BuzzFeed‘s Zeke Miller and Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

A word of advice to D.C. flacks

“Tip of day for DC flacks: If subj line of your email simply reads ‘Press Release,’ there is zero chance I am looking at it.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

Um, he’s has what?

“Hint: He’s white and has a penis.” — Metro Weekly political reporter, Justin Snow, reaction to a tweet from National Journal that asks, “Who will replace Jack Lew as Chief of Staff?”

Reporter gets yogurt news from Sen. Chuck Schumer

“Inbox: ‘SCHUMER REVEALS FAGE YOGURT TO BE SERVED AT THE PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURAL CEREMONIES ­ PRESIDENT WILL GET A TASTE OF THE MOHAWK VALLEY’ — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner.

Important Q’s to Ponder: “Do I go to the gym four nights in a row? Am I that serious about losing weight?” — Randy Shulman, co-publisher of Metro Weekly.

A typical Washington scene setter, complete with doughy men who haven’t seen a gym in awhile…Also: see who’s now on the FishbowlDC Fan Club Board…

Read more

Quotes of the Day

Thought Bubble: Ann Romney, you are no Laura Bush

“Honor Laura Bush. She stood up for women & she puts up with the repubs.” — CNN Contributor Hilary Rosen in response to women protesting former first lady Laura Bush being given the Alice Award, for a woman who advances other women.

Father’s Day wishes (well, sort of)

“Happy father’s day — or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law’s day.” — Writer and human rights lawyer Ronan Farrow. Farrow is Special Adviser to the Sec. of State for Global Youth Issues. He is the only biological child of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow.

Q: Which NYT columnist follows singer/actress Katy Perry? A: David Brooks

Convo Between Two Journos

Slate‘s Matt Yglesias: “Admittedly, I found Wawa amazing when I first went. Then again I was high as a kite at the time.” InTheseTimes Magazine Labor Writer Mike Elk: “Things we both agree on.”

News You Can Use

“PSA for congressional reporters: If you forget your license, your federally issued press ID will get you thru airport security.” — USA Today‘s Susan Davis.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day: Nail Polish Alert

“A perfect summer shade thanks to @caroljoynt and @CHANEL” — Bloomberg reporter and photog Stephanie Green. (Although we must admit, the shade is pretty.)

The Appointed Media Critic

“Is there ANYTHING more painful to watch on cable TV than the 2-3 minutes transition between @BashirLive and @DylanRatigan?!” — Newsbusters’ Ken Shepherd.

Liberal analyst: Obama heckler should be stripped of press pass

“Resorting to race-baiting or pitting groups of human beings against one another is not journalism worthy of a White House press pass.” — MSNBC Analyst Karen Finney writes on The Daily Caller‘s Neil Munro‘s “Incivility” for The Hill.

Quotes of the Day

Journo wants CNN’s Piers Morgan deported

“Can someone set up a kickstarter to fund deportation of Piers Morgan and the rest of these #jubilee fools drooling over an aging despot?” — Roll Call‘s John Stanton, who previously said he’d rather smoke bath salts with Jeffrey Dahmer than watch the Queen’s Jubilee.

Charges pressed

“I have pressed charges against Tim Scott’s COS Nick Muzin for simple assault & Honeywell PR guy Rob Ferris for false imprisonment.” — Mike Elk of InTheseTimes Magazine. Last Thursday he alleges he was grabbed by Muzin and locked in a room against his will by Honeywell’s Ferris, who did not return a phone call to FBDC on the matter. Elk continued, “The charges will be forwarded to the U.S. Attorney’s office who will decide whether or not to prosecute. I was hesitant to press charges cuz I didn’t want to seem like a crybaby, but precedent of intimidating reporters in Capitol is scary.”

Never a dull moment

“Met a man who legally changed his name to Jehovah Jesus. Had a lot to say about the CIA, Supreme Court Justice Souter, etc.” — CJ Ciaramella, a reporter at Free Beacon.

Democratic operative lashes out at WaPo‘s Rubin

“Unpaid Romney spokesperson Jennifer Rubin also has thoughts on the media. #classy.” — the always thoughtful DNC New Media Outreach Director Greg Greene. He links to this. As you can see, reaching out as usual. Thanks Greg!

Quote taken out of context

“@samyoungman isn’t a wedgie in order?” — FNC’s Ed Henry to Reuter‘s Sam Youngman.

Thanks for the memories!

“Perhaps worst spelling gaffe I can remember, @BashirLive, was when @msnbc gave Niger Innis two ‘G’s in his first name.” — Newsbuster‘s Ken Shepherd.

Journo grants permission to torture him

“If I ever happen to catch a single second of Lifetime TV’s”Dance Moms,” you have permission to waterboard me” — NRA News’ Cameron Gray in an apparent moment of shame about the popular dance show on the women’s network.

Ouch!

“Well, progress is overrated, I’ll just get back to work…work that I am paid less for than a man. #PayCheckFairness” — Erikka Knuti, Democratic strategist who works at Ogilvy.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day: Hat Attack

“I vow to wear hats more often in an effort to bring them back into fashion.” — Greenwire‘s Jessica Estepa.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

Quotes of the Day

Reuters‘ Shafer confronts intern issue

“Most interns shd pay to intern.” — Reuters‘ media writer Jack Shafer, who engaged in a battle with New York Observer‘s Foster Kamer (previous Village Voice sh-thead, still a sh-thead) on Twitter yesterday. Shafer: “Most interns are whiny, needy little shits like you, who require endless babysitting.” Kamer: “Jack Shafer: The … abusive stepfather I never had nor asked for, who is not my stepfather.” Shafer: “See you at hospice.” Shafer: “If unpaid internships are so horrible, why is there so much competition for them? Because the experience is valuable.” Kamer: “I’ll remind you of that as your sole visitor while you otherwise die alone…Reliable Sources on endless loop.” Shafer: “Promise?”

Namedropping Hitchens

Andrew Ferguson proudly name drops the late Christopher Hitchens in this fascinating essay in Commentary Magazine in which he contemplates those who name dropped and wept for the writer upon his death. He also explores whether Hitchens would have enjoyed a hit-piece obit. The last graph: “It’s maybe not the best fate for a man who once might have hoped that his ideas would be taken seriously, but it’s the fate Hitchens chose. At least that’s my theory. And I knew the man for more than a quarter of a century. Did I mention that?”

Question of the hour: “What do you get your wife for Valentine’s Day when she’s due to deliver your baby the day before?” — Newsbusters’ Ken Shepherd.

Mourning Soul Train’s Don Cornelius

“I never could get my Afro to work right, but I am among the legion who wanted a turn on that Soul Train line. #DonCornelius RIP” — PBS’s Gwen Ifill.

A sign of what’s to come…Former Poynter blogger extraordinaire Jim Romenesko shows up Poynter by breaking news of TBD’s Andrew Beaujon joining Poynter as a media writer before Poynter. @romenesko: “9 days after I broke the news!”MT @Poynter: “It’s official: Andrew Beaujon will join Poynter later this month as a media writer.”

Is this journo high?

“Telling moment: I was spilling coffee on my pants during an interview today while Facebook was raising $5 billion.” — NPR’s Scott Simon, who lost us at “pants.”

And finally, how does Jonah really feel about Trump?

“Folks I will criticize Trump even if he endorses ME. He’s an ass-clown of world-historical proportions.” — National Review Online’s Jonah Goldberg.

Quotes of the Day

CNBC’s Eamon Javers gets swallowed by Kermit the Frog background:”Rehearsing for tonight’s #cnbcdebate in front of the biggest dang green screen I’ve ever seen.”

Editor gets pounded by mall doc on weight

“Christ, even the eye doctor at the mall is telling me to get more exercise. STICK TO THE EYES, DOC” — Gawker Political Editor Jim Newell. We’re not going to even ask why you’re eye doctor is at the mall.

Chelsea Handler on the Welsh Rugby player who woke up gay after a freak gym incident: “I love how he wakes up and he has to become a hairdresser. Like there’s no other job for a gay man. Like you could become an interior designer. You could become a Republican senator. There are many, many options.”

Journo questions Hardball host’s verbal skills

“Does it annoy you, @grovernorquist, that it’s pathologically impossible for @hardball_chris to pronounce your name correctly? #hardball” — Newsbusters’ Ken Shepherd.

Pre-Presidential debate trash talking

“Romney’s the only remotely sane one, & he’s the guy who drove 500 miles with his dog on the roof of the car.” — WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten.

WCP employees lash out at fire alarm

“Once again, @wcp fire alarm defeated simply by people yelling at it. Now just hope there isn’t actually a fire.” — WCP Managing Editor Mike Madden.

Boybander loses marbles over Chili’s Too

“Chili’s Too is truly a sad, pale imitation of Chili’s. I want my baby back ribs!!!” –  Think Progress blogger Matt Yglesias. Correction: We confused Yglesias for his friend Spencer Ackerman and have taken out the banana wisecrack. RELAX SARA LIBBY.

Ambinder wants Eddie’s gig

“I am available to host the Oscars.” — NJ‘s Marc Ambinder after comedian Eddie Murphy drops out.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“DILEMMA: I want to eat this chewy granola bar, but it has a picture of a Jonas Brother on it.” — Roll Call Editor Ryan Beckwith. Then, inexplicably, the granola bar Twitter handle confronts him. “@quakerchewy: @ryanbeckwith We can assure you, it’s delicious. Which flavor are you snackin’ on, Ryan?” And he responds, “PB & Jonas.” Beckwith should be banned from ever conversing with a granola bar during work hours. If he wants to stay up late into the night chatting away with quakerchewy so be it. But it should be frowned upon.