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Posts Tagged ‘Matt Labash’

Morning Chatter

Quotes of the DayTo the Right

Breaking bread with terrorists

“At an extravagant penthouse apartment in downtown Chicago, The Daily Caller dined with former terrorists Sunday night.” — The lede to The Daily Caller‘s Jamie Weinstein‘s story on Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson‘s dinner with former Weather Underground terrorists Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn. The Daily Caller posse included Carlson, Weinstein, Big Journalism Founder Andrew Breitbart, a Daily Caller contest winner (a female who, so far, remains anonymous) Carlson’s brother, Buckley, and Weekly Standard senior writer Matt Labash. Read the story here. Carlson also went on WMAL’s “Morning Majority”: “At one point Bernadine compared the United States to Nazi Germany because of course she did! … I am appalled by them, but she is smooth,” he said. Best line: “I’m sure I somehow caught Syphilis from that dinner.” Listen to the full interview here.

A question posed to Breitbart online: “What’s your favorite name you’ve been called on Twitter?” He replied, “‘Fat Reich Wing Fascist Racist Faggot’ is synthesis of the online leftist argument against me. Variations on that theme.”

Loesch to Washington for CPAC

“Looking forward to #CPAC12. This year I vow not to return with the plague.” — CNN Contributor and Big Journalism Editor Dana Loesch.

Red State and CNN’s Erick Erickson goes on a Fox News bender: “I have a fair number of haters across parties. I’m fair and balanced in that regard. Heh.”

Bio of the Day — Stephen Hayes: “I am not the guy who writes for the Daily Standard. So please stop sending me tea party stuff. I follow a variety of issues mostly nuclear or missile related.” (As D.C. journos know, Stephen Hayes writes for that right wing mag more commonly known as The Weekly Standard.)

Scribe is disgusted by coffee

“I don’t drink coffee, never have. I’ve had most of 2 cups in my life, couldn’t finish them & sips of all sorts of doctored versions. #Gross” — Townhall columnist and radio host Derek Hunter. Explaining further, he adds, “Coffee is warm, dirty water that you can’t make taste good. No matter what you add to it, the underlying flavor is warm, dirty water.” On a completely different note, Politico media blogger Dylan Byers tweets a story he wrote on a “Pew survey finds more media bias.” To which Hunter cracks, “Must’ve read your shit.” (Sidenote: Byers was scheduled to go on the Bill Press radio program this morning. He showed up FINALLY, but was extremely tardy. Stay tuned…we’ll inquire and see if he has any decent excuses. UPDATE: Byers overslept. Seriously, VandeHarris let you get Zzzzz’s? UPDATE 2: He had an iced coffee in tow, which means he was late and actually STOPPED for it.)

If Mattera were judge…

“If what this teacher is accused of is true, then he should be hung from his balls.” — Human EventsJason Mattera in regards to the LA teacher who was accused of spoon-feeding his semen to blindfolded students.

A journo’s latest addiction: hot chocolate

“Ok, given the slow trickle of results I think I have a few minutes to get some hot chocolate at 7-11. My latest addiction.” — The Examiner‘s Philip Klein.

 

 

Hitchens Reading List 12.19.20

With the passing of Vanity Fair Contributing Editor Christopher Hitchens came an outpouring of personal stories by journalists about their relationship with their friend, their mentor, their hero and in one case, someone they had met just once. We rounded them up for you here with a poignant line or excerpt.

Portrait by Patrick Ryan.

The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller’s Matt Labash writes for Slate on traveling with Hitchens in Iraq. “After a protracted tussle in which Yacoub demanded Hitchens’ press badges, then after a cooling off in which he gave them back, then after a resumption of hostilities when Hitchens decided he didn’t want his Kuwaiti press badge back as the Kuwaitis were proving themselves the tramplers of liberty, Yacoub screamed that Hitchens would ‘leave Kuwait tonight!’ It’s pretty hard to get kicked out of a war. But Hitchens almost managed.”

David Frum writes about the man he couldn’t resist even after meeting him.

Washington Photographer Patrick Ryan once spent a morning smoking and drinking with the great writer. “He came over to greet me wearing socks and we immediately started talking as though we’d known each other for years.”

Townhall columnist and WMAL’s Derek Hunter writes about the pitfalls of Hitchens’ literal interpretation of everything. Like vodka for instance. Or toads. “Speaking of emails, I remember one that he signed, ‘Wishing you well in this toad-filled season.’ I thought, ‘What the Hell does that mean?’ I Googled it, I asked everyone. I found nothing to explain it. Finally I asked Grover if he knew what it meant, because I didn’t want to ask Hitchens and risk looking stupid. Grover looked up from his desk and said, ‘I don’t know. Maybe he’s just some place with a lot of toads.’”

WaPo syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker wrote about how she “devoured” Hitchens’ writing. Eventually she met him one day in the makeup room of NBC. “To say I was a friend of Hitchens would be an exaggeration, though I did enjoy the pleasure of his company on several occasions. But one needn’t have known a writer to mourn his passing or to feel profound sadness about all the silent days to come. No matter what the topic, I always wanted to know what Hitchens thought about it and, lucky for the world, he seemed always willing to end the suspense.”

Christopher Buckley‘s was fittingly among the first eulogies to emerge on Hitchens in The New Yorker. He starts out, “We were friends for more than thirty years, which is a long time but, now that he is gone, seems not nearly long enough.”

Tick Tock: Jack Abramoff Book Party

Today FishbowlMatt and I take you inside last night’s book party at the Northwest Washington home of Daily Caller Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson and his wife, Susie, for famed ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff. The book: Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America’s Most Notorious Lobbyist. We’ll give you a play-by-play interpretation of what went down — FishbowlDC style. Some of it’s blind quoting, eavesdropping, and prison jokes, for which we make no apologies. Some of it’s petty and juvenile and involves taking advantage of people who have had a few drinks (a la HuffPost‘s Drunken Specialist Sam Stein), for which we also make no apologies. By the way, actor Kevin Spacey and former Washington Mayor Marian Barry both RSVP’d that they’d attend. Neither showed. Who did? Find out after the jump…

Let’s begin.

5:07 p.m. FishbowlMatt texts and wants to know what I’m wearing. I tell him I’m dressing down, that we’re going to a party where there will be an island of misfits and we can wear whatever we want. I assure him my outfit will not incorporate Stephanie Green golf ball-size multi-strand pearl necklaces.

6:40 p.m. We arrive fashionably early Tucker’s house and are greeted by friendly valets.

6:41 p.m. Publicist Janet Donovan arrives by cab with a giant golden handbag.

6:42 p.m. It’s 66 degrees outside. Roaring fire clearly for ambiance. Not function.

6:45 p.m. Tucker is holding court by the fireplace discussing the Politico story about The Daily Caller‘s “growing pains” published earlier in the day. He has a lot of reactions, one of which involves explaining the importance of “pissing up.” All in all, the story didn’t upset him.

6:55 p.m. We go to the more remote bar off the living room where intern Jordan Bloom is dressed in a white shirt and black bow tie and tending bar. Matt writes, “We meet Jordan Bloom, battered intern.”

7 p.m. Daily Caller reporter Matthew Boyle arrives and chats up Tucker about the Politico story. Boyle refuses to talk to any member of the press on the record.

7:10 p.m. We run into communications exec David Bass in a big fat striped suit. The suit has fat blue and white stripes; Bass isn’t plump. We start snapping his picture. He wants a do over, explaining, “I have the same stupid look on my face in every picture. Let me try not to look stupid.”

7:20 p.m. Oh look. It’s The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash. He quickly admires FishbowlMatt’s gray tweed pants and says I’m not allowed to write anything about anything he says or he’ll break both my legs (the first part of this is true). FBDCMatt describes his trousers as a “tweed flannel hybrid.” Labash is clearly impressed.

7:21 p.m. More guests arrive. FishbowlMatt commentary: “There’s a glitterball coming in right now.”

7:22 p.m. Bathroom door locks but doesn’t latch. Not worth taking a chance. (Capitol File Editor-in-Chief Kate Bennett will later say someone walked in on her while she was in the can. She says she was just washing her hands.)

7: 25 p.m. Politico‘s Patrick Gavin and FishbowlMatt begin an in-depth conversation about no-iron shirts. Matt says he’s a “holy hell sweater.” Gavin says he plans to buy a decent wardrobe in the new year. Tonight he has worn a long-sleeved maroon shirt made of waffle material. It’s from the Gap.

7:30 p.m. I place a half-full wine glass on a stack of Jack Abramoff books for a moment and an undisclosed reporter says, “He was in prison for three years and tried not to get rimmed and look what you’re doing with a wine glass on the Abramoff books.”

7:33 p.m. An undisclosed reporter asks, “Who is that fat guy on the couch? I mean, he’s ‘stop-on-the-street’ fat. Isn’t he?”

7:34 p.m.: NYT‘s Mark Leibovich chats with partygoers. He says the book’s slowly coming along but that he must get back to regular newspaper writing soon. Guests tell him they can’t wait to read his book.

7:35 p.m. The living room speeches begin. Tucker says (in part): “I think Jack is a genuinely nice person. I don’t trust anyone who hasn’t been humiliated in public.” He mentions being on “Dancing With the Stars.”

7:37 p.m. Jack: “I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart,” he tells a packed room of guests. “This is my first book and may be my last if no one reads it.” He explains that his publicist Janet “is working me to the ground. I had 17 interviews today. I don’t have a tail and horns.” He says his wife, Pam, doesn’t read newspapers or watch TV. He also says she kept removing herself from the book until he explained that he had to explain where their children came from. Jack on prison life: “It’s a horrific place.” Jack on the kindness of others: “I’m not sure we deserve it, but I hope we keep meriting your friendship.” He recounts being on FNC’s Sean Hannity‘s program last week. He told Hannity he was going to appear on MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell‘s show. Hannity tried to talk him out of it, telling him it was a waste of time. Jack appeared on O’Donnell’s “Last Word” anyhow and grew frightened as he spotted Michael Moore. He thought to himself, ‘We better hide.’ Soon he hears Moore inquiring, “Where’s Jack?” Moore approached and said, “God bless you. Keep up the great work. It’s fantastic.” Jack’s reaction: “Am I dreaming?” He calls the evening at Carlson’s home “the finest night of our lives in the last eight years. This tops them all.”

8:30 p.m. (roughly): A guest is ready to leave. He remarks, “I think I’ve done my time here, so to speak.” Reporters in the vicinity laugh.

Find out which reporter with a liberal agenda crashed the party…

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The FishbowlDC Interview With The Daily Caller’s Senior Editor Jamie Weinstein

Say hello to The Daily Caller‘s Senior Editor Jamie Weinstein. You might have caught him on FNC’s “Red Eye,” where he appears approximately every two weeks. He lives in Chinatown but prefers cabs to the Range Rover he rarely drives. A brief duck theme emerges in his interview. Completely unintentional, he claims: “My duck phone ring is because someone changed it as a joke and I decided to keep it.” Weinstein grew up in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. but wasn’t a beach bum. “I didn’t go to the beach very much,” he says. “Just because it’s there. It’s just like in D.C., you have all the monuments but you don’t really go to see them.” He arrived to The Daily Caller after finishing grad school at the London School of Economics, where he earned a degree in the History of International Relations. Out of the blue, he explains, they were looking for a deputy editor. He jumped in with both feet. In June he switched roles from Deputy Editor to Senior Editor. In his former role he worked with the daily stream of newsroom copy. In his new one, he makes TV appearances, writes long form and does more video interviews. If he has his druthers he’d follow in the footsteps of his mentor and boss, Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson. “I like what Tucker has done as a career as a writer and on television,” he says. “If I was lucky to have a small part of what Tucker has been able to do, I would be happy.” Career aspirations aside, the weirdest thing about Weinstein may be his penchant for eating tomatoes – he can’t get enough of them. Speaking of who he might like to throw a tomato at, we asked him who is the TV personality he can’t bear to watch. Weinstein names MSNBC’s Ed Schultz. “He might be the worst broadcaster on television ever,” he says. “It’s amazing he has come this far. One, he is clearly not a smart person. Secondly, his voice has a tone that people don’t want to listen to for long periods of time.” Referring to his “Lean Forward” ad, he adds, “I don’t think America needs two shows of Ed Schultz.”

If you were a carbonated beverage which would you be? Bling H20 (sparkling, of course)

How often do you Google yourself? Easier to say how often I don’t Google myself.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to an editor (or vice versa)? I try not to speak to my fellow editors.

Who is your favorite working journalist and why? I’ll give you three: Matt Labash, Michael Lewis and Christopher Hitchens. I never miss anything they write.

Do you have a favorite word? No (that’s my favorite word).

What word or phrase do you overuse? the

Who would you rather have dinner with –  MSNBC’s Chris Matthews or FNC’s Chris Wallace? It depends. If I’m tired, I would say Chris Matthews — I wouldn’t have to do any talking. Otherwise, Chris Wallace.

You are ordered to go on a road trip to an undisclosed location. You can go with White House Spokesman Jay Carney or Bo, the President’s Portuguese Water Dog. No ones feelings will be hurt. Who do you take? Bo — he’s closer to the president. He more likely knows President Obama’s innermost secrets and was probably privy to some of his most uncensored comments. If I get a few drinks in him, I am sure he will spill it all. Plus, I prefer Portuguese Water dogs to lapdogs.

What’s the name of your cell phone ring? Duck (and this is not a joke).

It’s 3 a.m. and you get up to use the bathroom or get a drink of water. Do you check your BlackBerry? No, but only because I don’t have a BlackBerry. But I do check my iPhone — want to see if any great Nigerian investment offers have come in.

What swear word do you use most often? Ah, shucks [He assures me he does swear, but doesn't have a favorite.]

If you weren’t a journalist what would you be? The guy who comes up with ideas for reality TV shows.

You’ve just been told the big news: You get to have your own Sunday morning talk show. Who will be on your roundtable? (Pick four journalists or pundits types.) Charlie Manson, Pat Buchanan, Charles Barkley and Jackie Mason.

When you pig out what do you eat? I have a strange habit. I eat tomatoes often at every meal. I eat tomatoes with vinegar on it, oftentimes multiple orders. This has been going on almost the entirety of my life. My dad used to have it when I was younger, occasionally. For some reason I eat it all the time.

When did you last cry and why? When John Bolton decided against running for president. Ten years after 9/11, I felt al-Qaida had scored its first victory.

Who is your mentor? [Daily Caller Editor-in-Chief] Tucker Carlson. He will actually take time out of his day to give you advice on almost any issue that arises professionally or not. He’s a great model of what journalists of his stature in D.C. should wish to emulate insofar as when you meet him he makes [you] feel like you’re the most important person in the world.

Find out about Weinstein’s purple velvet jacket after the jump…

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Summer Superlatives Class of 2011 Winners

With the help of our friends from the Florida Election Board, we’ve tallied up the votes for FishbowlDC’s Summer Superlatives competition and are now ready to announce the Class of 2011 winners.  To earn their titles and Fishbowl fame, each of these honorees won more votes  in their respective categories than any other nominee.  Without further ado, the first four winners:

With over 1,000 votes cast, Best Sense of Humor turned out to be the most competitive of our twelve categories.  Roll Call‘s Neda Semnani and Politico‘s Julie Mason battled for the first place spot throughout the day.  But it’s when the sun set and his opponents were catching their ZZZZs that Matt Labash launched his surprise attack and ultimately won FishbowlDC glory with a whopping 46.63% of the vote for Best Sense of Humor.

Michael Steel from Speaker John Boehner‘s office seemed like the clear winner of 2011′s Best Capitol Hill Press Secretary until Rockefeller’s Vince Morris‘s campaign began picking up steam late Tuesday afternoon.  The race remained tight for several hours but in the end Steel took Morris and the win with 39.8% of the vote.

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer waltzed, sambaed, and silver foxtrotted right over the competition and into the winner’s circle for Best On-Air Personality with 44.75% of the vote.  And 39.16% of the vote earned Politico’s Jim VandeHei the title of Most Cutthroat journalist in Washington with the win over his colleague Mike Allen who snagged 25.1%.

Congrats to Labash, Steel, Blitzer and VandeHei!  Next four winners will be announced shortly.

Labash Contemplates Becoming a Lesbian

You never quite know where Matt Labash‘s advice column in The Daily Caller is going to take you.

Today he examines the benefits of being a man — you get to hate Oprah and Sec. of State Hillary Clinton to name a few upsides — and you get to sleep with women. In fact, he likes the idea so much that he says if he was a woman he’d want to sleep with women, too. We think he just might want to send out a card like the one pictured here to all his friends.

A lawsuit in the making? He wants DC’s Jim Treacher to stop gazing and to stay the hell away from him. Read why here.

SS Exit Polls Show Three Close Races

Early exit polls from day one of our Summer Superlatives contest indicate only one thing: these races are too close to call tonight.  With three sets of rock-solid competitors and a slew of die-hard supporters, FishbowlDC glory is still anyone’s for the taking.

To spice up the competition, we’ve hidden the real-time results of each race (8pm).  But don’t let that dissuade you from casting a vote or campaigning for your favorite candidate.  Each poll will remain open for 24 hours from the time it went live today and final results will be revealed in a very special post honoring the winners next week. Until then, here’s your 10pm exit poll snapshot.

Best Sense of Humor:  Julie Mason must have spent the evening shaking hands and kissing babies because Team Mason has managed to pull ahead Semnani and Labash.

Julie Mason: 32.06% of the vote.

Neda Semnani: 31.76% of the vote.

Matt Labash: 28.09% of the vote.

Gene Weingarten: 3.39% of the vote.

Biggest Self-Promoter: Mackowiak and Bardella have pimped themselves into one fierce competition.

Matt Mackowiak: 36.91%

Kurt Bardella: 33.77%

Howard Kurtz: 19.6%

Carol Joynt: 9.69%

Best Capitol Hill Press Secretary:  Boehner’s Michael Steel, who began losing his daylong lead to Morris and Elshami this afternoon,  has managed to pull ahead tonight.

Michael Steel: 44.39%

Vince Morris: 28.7%

Nadeam Elshami: 23.53%

Charles Chamberlayne: 3.39%

Summer Superlatives: Best Sense of Humor

Voting is now open for the first category of FishbowlDC’s Summer Superlatives 2011: Best Sense of Humor.  With the help of a secret panel of past winners and avid FishbowlDC readers, we narrowed nominations down to four finalists whose witty tweets, status updates and columns never fail to bring the hilarity.

Voting for each category will be open for 24 hours.  But there’s a catch.   At 8pm every evening, the results of the day’s three polls will be hidden.  Think of the cutoff as early exit polling.  Just because your pick is leading the pack all day, doesn’t mean they’re safe.  After the sun goes down, it’s anybody’s title for the taking.  We’ll announce all the winners on Monday.

So rally your supporters, bus in voters, and campaign like you read about because Summer Superlatives 2011 is officially underway with Politico’s Julie Mason, The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller’s Matt Labash, Roll Call’s Neda Semnani and WaPo’s Gene Weingarten for Best Sense of Humor.

So What’s in Your Satan Sandwich?

After Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) described the debt bill as a “Satan Sandwich” we wondered what Washington journos (and the husband of one) would put in their own satanic sandwiches. No, it’s not a pick-up line but say it enough times and it starts to sound like one. Some reporters claimed their brains were fried from the debt deal and couldn’t think up a clever response. Others shot back quick, clear and strange replies. We don’t even want to contemplate the deeper meaning behind the fact that Mediaite‘s Tommy Christopher has his own “dry rub.”

NYT Carl Hulse: “Mine would have to be stuffed with brussels sprouts. It is practically the only food I wont eat. Probably covered in some sort of nasty vinegar.”

The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash: “Satan Sandwich Ingredients: Bottom piece of bread: Monica Cruz; Top piece of bread: Penelope Cruz; Lunch meat: Me; Toppings:  marshmallow fluff, apple butter, and taramasalata. Just to make sure we all stick together. You can also sprinkle some tax cuts for the rich on there  – the Cruz sisters are very wealthy. We will use the spoils to buy ourselves more sticky sandwich spreads. Or perhaps something hotter and spicier. Like  pico de gallo with Red Savino habaneros – which burn our searching tongues like the fires of hell, where Tea Partiers dance, their faces painted red with with the blood of freshly slaughtered Democratic babies. (Is Barney Frank going to eat that pickle?)”

Anonymous reporter: “Steamed Brauchli.” As in WaPo Executive Editor Marcus Brauchli.

Politico White House reporter Julie Mason: “Mortadella, fingernails and a centipede. I will eat it watching the first season of ‘The Bachelor.’”

Roll Call feature writer Emily Heil: “I’m pretty sure someone otherworldly has to be behind the G-man sub at Mangialardo and Son’s over on Pennsylvania Avenue. It’s got like five kinds of meat and this bread that they bake fresh daily–possibly in the fires of hell. I dream of it sometimes.”

The Hill‘s White House Correspondent Sam Youngman: “Any sandwich with hair.”

Qorvis’ partner and former TWT Editor Sam Dealey: “[NRSC Spokesman] Brian Walsh’s dog Rudy, American cheese product, and a side of Freedom Fries. Pretty much what I was served on my United Airlines flight today from San Antonio.”

Geoff Tracy (hubby to CBS’s Chief White House Correspondent Norah O’Donnell): “Catchy albeit scary name. Spicy hot perhaps.”

The Hill‘s Alex Bolton: Extra-strength Cholula sauce.

HuffPost-AOL Spokesman Mario Ruiz: “A public option, sliced by fear, w a heaping of revisionism.”

NJ Spokeswoman Taylor West: “Parking tickets. I’ve had to eat far too many of those recently. Oh, and sauerkraut. Because whenever I hear about the smell of brimstone, that’s what I imagine it smells like.”

Publicist Janet Donovan: “A Big Mac smothered in raw onions.”

WaPo‘s Aaron Blake: “Olives, brussels sprouts, Limburger cheese and Vegemite. Also, fire.”

Mediaite White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher: “Oh, that’s easy. Cold Capicola (pronounced “GabbaGHOUL”), fresh mozzarella, a good Genoa salami, prosciutto, imported ham, mayo, and pesto on a saloio roll. Hot chunks of filet mignon, my own dry rub, salt, pepper, sauteed for two minutes, with mozzarella and mayo on a fresh sub roll. For dessert, lots of nitro in the ambulance.”

Conservative writer who helped found The Daily Caller Derek Hunter: “Liverwurst with cream cheese, Dijon mustard and some bacon thrown in to make you think it might not suck, on pumpernickel with a side of having to eat it with Nancy Pelosi. If you’re going to be forced to eat a Satan Sandwich it’s safe to assume you’d be eating it in your own personal Hell.”

Labor journalist Mike Elk: “Right now I am on vacation in San Francisco and they sell all these ‘incredible edibles’ at these medical clinics. Put some of those edibles in a Satan sandwich, you can make any sandwich a really good time. Go to a reggae concert after eating that Satan sandwich and you’ll have a real gooooood time. I mean real good.”

The Daily Caller‘s Matthew Boyle: “Fresh cape cod haddock battered with beer from The Daily Caller kegerator. I’d drizzle The DC beer-battered haddock with hot sauce. What would make it “Satanic” is how I’d get the hot sauce – I’d steal it from whoever in our office happened to have some.” (People actually bring hot sauce to the office?)

CBS White House radio reporter Mark Knoller: “What else. Deviled eggs.”

HuffPost Hill writer Eliot Nelson: “Tempeh, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, sprouts, chipotle mayo and worthless T-Notes.”

Human EventsTony Lee: “Lol– honey ham, deviled eggs, ABSOLUTELY NO CHEESE. Let’s say on Rye Bread, slightly burnt.”

Unnecessary Answer of the Lineup: “Um, deviled ham, goat cheese and arugula? Eh, but that’s not very good. This would all be a lot funnier if the deal had been referred to as ‘Satan’s Taco.’ That I could work with.” — MetroWeekly‘s C0-Publisher Sean Bugg (Oh, Bugg, we joke. We love your answer. Who else would say “deviled ham?”)

Morning Message: Why Matt Labash Still Thinks Twitter is a Waste of His Time and Yours

By this point The Weekly Standard/The Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash gets the lure of Twitter. The more people pass your stories along, the more your work gets read. And what kind of vain writer doesn’t want others reading his words?

Still, Twitter is dead to him. And it looks like that’s how it’s going to remain.

In his advice column this week, Labash writes “Why Twitter is killing America.” He tells a reader asking about Social Media to present her boss with two lists — historical figures who’ve made The Atlantic‘s “Top 100 Figures in American History.” They include Ralph Waldo Emerson and Jonas Salk. And then show those with top Twitter billing. They include Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. Labash advises, “Instruct your boss to compare and contrast the names on those two lists, then to go kill himself. But before he does, ask him to give you a raise, just for having to endure his mediocrity.”

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