The Daily Caller‘s advice columnist Matt Labash gets scrappy today. He orders a reader named “Barb” who trashes Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson to never read his column again.

It’s not so much another defense of Tucker (as he offered last week) as much as it’s an obvious dislike for Barb. “Why would anyone care about what happens to pit bulls?!?” Barb asks and proceeds to describe the dogs as “beady-eyed beasts.” As an afterthought she adds,  “Tucker Carlson should be fired. The man is a whack job.”

An excerpt: Don’t take this the wrong way, Barb. Because I generally don’t discriminate against readers. Red and yellow,  black and white, they are all precious in His sight. And God knows I have my share of nutloafs in the audience (you know who you are, Mom). But I have to draw the line somewhere. So it might as well be with animal-cruelty-loving, budding- psychopath-serial-killers like you.

Consequently, I forbid you from reading this column in the future.

In a second question from “Nancy Pelosi”, Labash reluctantly ponders House Speaker John Boehner‘s tan. Labash says stop talking about the lawmaker’s “apricot” skin already and start seeing his tears for what they are: the act of a “pimpled tween.”

*More details emerge on Sen. Debbie Stabenow‘s (D-Mich.) divorce in a post by Politico‘s Dave Catanese on his new political blog as acquired from Detroit Free Press which gathered the docs. The news reveals that Stabenow’s hubby payed $150 for a prostitute. Just embarrassing: the prostitute denied the charge.

*The Daily Caller‘s Advice Columnist Matt Labash addresses one of the most vital matters of the day — mail order brides. In a question from a reader, he discusses his “Worn Panties Shrine” (he keeps this strictly for sniffing — he’s no pervert.) He also has choice words for MSNBC’s Ed Schultz, who Labash insinuates is a “crazy person who talks to himself.” Read it all here.

* In a chat on WashingtonPost.com, Slate‘s Emily Yoffe, who writes the “Dear Prudence” advice column, tackles a granddaughter who couldn’t make her grandmother’s funeral because she had to take the LSAT’s. The granddaughter’s mother is, well, pissed. Prudence says it’ll be fine: “Eventually, she will get over this.” And she means Mother not Grandma.

The Weekly Standard, often credited with launching the stardom of Sarah Palin’s, did something unthinkable in right wing world over the weekend:  They took a whack at the former V.P. hopeful, Alaskan Gov. and now TLC reality TV star in their pages. Not that we haven’t seen major hints of the GOP tiring of her with Fox News Contributor Karl Rove’s recent dismissals of her, but the story by Matt Labash loudly and clearly knocks her in ways the magazine rarely has. Even the headline mocks: “R U Lovin’ Sarah’s Alaska?’

The story ridicules Palin for everything from her unsophisticated tweets to her “flippin’” way of talking to dragging the fam onto a “tacky reality show.” Will The Weekly Standard now be part of the “lamestream media,” as Palin puts it?

An excerpt:

Gravitas, it’s safe to say, is the enemy of freedom. And freedom is about motion—being in it, staying in it. On the show, this involves seein’, and doin’, and experiencin’ things that don’t require a “g” on the end of them, such as shootin’, and rock climbin’, and snow machinin’, and clubbin’ halibut over the head (“let me see the club, you look crazy,” says Bristol to her mom when they do the deed on a commercial fishing boat) and media-critiquin’ and BlackBerryin’, which Palin gets caught doing even in the midst of wilderness adventures.

Described in detail are other reality shows airing alongside “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” such as “Ton of Love” and “The Man With Half a Body.” Read after the jump…

Read more

What disturbs The Daily Caller‘s resident bold and sometimes dirty advice columnist Matt Labash? Today that’d be a photograph of Oprah and her best friend, Gayle, fly fishing on the Merced River in Yosemite National Park.

So much for him landing on her couch in the show’s final season.

Labash, who also writes for The Weekly Standard, writes, “Good God in Heaven, is nothing sacred? I saw the same picture on Field & Stream’s Fly Talk blog. And not since they made us watch a slide show of partial-birth abortions at my Operation Rescue Father’s Day picnic have I been so disturbed by an image.”

Why so disturbed? He says it’s not because he doesn’t want to see Oprah enjoy herself on the water. Read more and see the allegedly damaging picture here. (Above is Oprah in her fly fishing outfit. It’s not the picture that has Labash broiling.)

QUOTES of the DAY

ABC’s Klein has touch of midterm madness

“Midterm delusions. Could swear I just saw Alvin Greene on the metro. Thought I saw Lee Fisher this morning.” — ABC’s Rick Klein on Wednesday on Twitter. Then adds, “And now a legit crazy person ranting about who knows what on metro. Not a candidate for office, to my knowledge.”

What does she really think?

“We have a lot of female candidates this year and most of them are terrifying.” — Comedian Chelsea Handler on E!’s “Chelsea Lately” Wednesday night.

A reporter’s wish

“Wish @mikeallen would pen a “Story Behind the Story” about The Day Politico Went Without Email.” — Politico‘s Patrick Gavin in a Wednesday tweet. E-mail was down at Politico all afternoon.

Weigel gets a little help from Joan Baez

“Joan Baez’s ability to make every song flat and sleep-inducing is quite extraordinary.” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel in a Wednesday tweet.

McCain deeply offended by Labash

“I found Matt Labash‘s statement to be one of the MOST SEXIST things I have ever read. But I do hope you’ll do a DC stop.” — The Daily Beast and Dirty, Sexy, Politics author Meghan McCain in a Wednesday tweet. Matt Labash is a writer for The Weekly Standard and an advice columnist for The Daily Caller. What did Labash say to Politico that set her off? Read here.

Dinner with Helen at Mama Ayesha’s

“Wonderful dinner tonight w/my old boss Helen Thomas. Great group of former & current White House reporters here tonight at Mama Ayesha’s.” — New York Daily News White House Correspondent Ken Bazinet in a Wednesday night tweet.

Priorities

“I have a serious political story to write on deadline, but distracted by the sad breakup of Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively and Penn Badgley.”– Human Events senior editor Emily Miller on Wednesday on Twitter.

Slate‘s Dave Weigel wouldn’t attend a Meghan McCain book party. He says he’s not on the D.C. cocktail circuit (although, funny, we’ve seen him there a few times. But we’ll presume he means high society cocktails). He says reporters/pundits who are concerned with news are not concerned with The Daily Beast‘s McCain or her book, Dirty, Sexy Politics.

Politico publishes a piece by Patrick Gavin this afternoon (complete with Weigel’s remarks) assessing why McCain hasn’t endeared herself to D.C. media and why McCain, with all the grace of a rhinoceros, skipped D.C. on her cross-country book tour. In the story, a McCain spokeswoman insists the young author stuck to national outlets because few members of the D.C. media expressed interest in interviewing McCain.

But lack of interest amongst D.C. media isn’t necessarily true. Washington Examiner‘s Nikki Schwab, who’s still bristling after McCain blocked her on Twitter, says, “Yep, I’d go!” This, even after sniffing over Twitter this afternoon, “I’m still blocked.” It’s unclear whether or not The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash would attend. But he does appreciate the budding author’s cleavage-bearing Twitter pictures (clearly she hasn’t yet blocked him. But more importantly, she hasn’t had a chance to. Labash, the unabashed Twitter hater isn’t officially on Twitter). Even the author, Gavin, said he’d go. “Sure!” he replied when asked if he’d attend, even as his story makes the case for why McCain might rightly avoid D.C.

Read the story here.

The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash has a story that will be among this year’s Best American Essays. His story is ‘A Rake’s Progress’ published in The Weekly Standard in September 2009.

The piece is a profile on former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry. The subhead: “Marion Barry bares (almost) all.”

An excerpt:

“Mr. Barry wants to start early,” Natalie informs. “He wants you to come to church with him tomorrow.” “Great,” I say. “What time does church start?”"Eleven A.M.,” she says. “Okay. And what time should I meet him before church?” I ask.”Eleven-thirty,” she responds with complete seriousness.

Labash joins the ranks of other authors whose stories made the list: David Sedaris and Ian McEwan (to name a few).

See the full list here.

Try to picture Labash in this lovely sunflower
patch with Julia Roberts.

The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash has an insider’s view of how to become a political journalistic guru.

Does it involve sexual favors?

“For me it did,” replies Labash in his advice column today. “But everyone’s path is different.”

Most advice on Labash’s list is not terribly serious, but some offers unintentional wisdom. Read slowly and in between the lines.

• Write what you know.

• If you’re a kind, generous person who strives to find the best in people and to overlook their faults, get out of journalism. You’ll die here.

His biggest truth lies tucked just before an admission that he’s not really a journalistic guru. “You will have to figure out how actually get there on your own.” (As fate would have it, Labash claims to hate anyone who likes Eat, Pray, Love, but he has essentially summed up the purpose of author, Elizabeth Gilbert’s book. Come on Labash – Italy, India and Indonesia are calling you, except for maybe that part where you write, “I live off the land, and eat what I kill.”)

Read the full item here.

The writer formerly known as Matt Labash. This is LaCupp.

The Daily Caller has an unusual phenomenon going on – that columnist Matt Labash is actually also the female columnist S.E. Cupp.

There’s even this spectacular photograph that blends them into one frightening looking sort of sex pot man/woman to prove it. Labash/Cupp is calling itself LaCupp. “No, I’m not completely done with the hormone regimen,” Labash writes.

Read his (er, her) heartfelt admission here.

There’s a certain j’ne sais quoi about Dave “Mudcat” Saunders that MSNBC host Rachel Maddow can’t get enough of in the span of just one show, or, for that matter, this lifetime.

On her program Wednesday night, Maddow repeatedly and effusively expressed respect and admiration for Mudcat, formerly an adviser to former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.). The praise was reminiscent of that line in “As Good as it Gets” when Jack Nicholson‘s character tells Helen Hunt‘s character, “You make me want to be a better man.” (That last word, of course, doesn’t apply to Maddow.)

At the start of the interview:
Maddow: You are one of my favorite people to talk to about everything. You make me think I’m wrong alllll the time.
Mudcat: Well, we go back a long ways.

At the close of the interview:
Maddow: I could talk to you all night.
Mudcat: Great to see you, Rachel (which in southern Mudcat-speak sounds like Ruh-ay-chull).

Mudcat, a Democratic adviser, is well-known in D.C. media circles – even and especially right-leaning media. Earlier this year he was spotted amusing guests at a book party for The Weekly Standard/Daily Caller‘s Matt Labash at the home of Daily Caller Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson.