“Smoke was coming out of my phone yesterday.” — NBC “TODAY” Show’s Savannah Guthrie on announcing her engagement to Michael Feldman Monday.

Editor wants to prank house sitter

“Friend stayed @ our house while we were away. Thinking of removing all furniture & taking photos, telling him, ‘You forgot to lock the door!’” — WaPo Book World Editor Ron Charles.

Postcard to DOJ

“Dear DOJ: my email password is “GoScrewYourselves’” — Daily Beast Contributor Justin Green in reaction to news that DOJ secretly obtained phone records of AP reporters and editors.

Important Q to Ponder: “Can’t we just ban talking points altogether? Or would that just confuse everyone?” – NYT‘s Mark Leibovich, who has a book coming out this summer that isn’t worrying anyone (wink wink).

Journo followed strange source rules

“In Belfast, had source who wouldn’t let me call or email. Ever. I had to go to house, but not park o/side. Got to know his wife & kids well.” — Toby Harnden, Washington Bureau Chief of The Sunday Times.

The Fashion Hound

“No one on television has better ties than Brian Williams. (And that’s what really counts.)” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

WORST HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

By HuffPost‘s Jason Linkins

Paranoia Strikes

• “Someone walking n th bldg behind me who asked wt floor I live on last time. If they do it again I’m running down th hall yelling STRANGER!” — Editor of The DC Pundit Javonni Brustow.

• “Have never been this terrified of the sound of an approaching ice cream truck. Got the feeling it’s secretly a black helicopter.” — Justin Green.

Words to live by or casting call for Bad Girls Club?

“I love bad bitches.” — Meghan McCain.

World crumbles as reporter’s TV show is not on and, by far, the strangest news of the day concerning a Politico reporter.

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Trolling criteria

“You might be a troll IF … you are blocking me while also sending me harassing messages.” — Conservative blogger Robert Stacy McCain.

Belching journalist alert

“Headed to @bonapetit’s #VegasUncorked. #belch” – CQ Roll Call’s David Drucker, who will soon work for the Washington Examiner.

Convo Between Two Journos

Politico‘s Ben White: “I’ve been thrown out of DC cabs for even mentioning credits cards so color me skeptical.”

WSJ‘s Victoria McGrane: “It’s why I uber.”

100 percent awkward

“That awkward moment when you’re searching for your iPhone to send an email & then remember it’s pressed to your ear bc you’re on the phone.” — MSNBC’s Touré. The only response he got came in from Meka (a.k.a. @yeswecanraptors) who wrote: “huh!? what type of awkward moment is that?”

The Tweet Heard Around the World

“@MeghanMcCain if it wasn’t for politicians cheating on their wives, you wouldn’t exist.” — David Burge of Iowahawkblog in reaction to Meghan McCain‘s intense disappointment over Mark Sanford‘s congressional win in South Carolina.

And no idea how this got lost yesterday but…

“Let me clarify for you mouthbreathers out there: I don’t hate the South. I love the South. I’m of the South. But South Carolina sucks balls.” — Former Mother Jones Editor Adam Weinstein.

C-SPAN Social Media Specialist forgets earphones — the horror!

“Getting on the metro and realizing you forgot your headphones…why God why?!?!? #firstworldproblems” — C-SPAN’s Jeremy Art.

Book deal: TWT Senior Op-ed writer Emily Miller has a new book out come September called Emily Gets Her Gun about purchasing a gun in D.C. Her publisher: Regnery. Release date: Sept. 3, 2013. Read more on Examiner.com. Miller told FishbowlDC: “I’m nervous about getting this done — five weeks to deadline and the news keeps changing — but I’m also thrilled to be publishing my first book.”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Appalling WHCD aftermath — HuffPost has an intriguing first-person account from the wife of a journalist who attended pre-parties with her husband. The woman, Seema Jilani, maintains cops at the Washington Hilton treated her in a racist manner. The worst of it? A cop, who wouldn’t let her downstairs to obtain keys from her husband, remarked, ”We have to be extra careful with you all after the Boston bombings.” Read the entire piece here.

Double take — The Atlantic Wire has the scoop today on a weird split screen interview from Phoenix at the site of the Jodi Arias murder trial.  There’s CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield interviewing HLN’s Nancy Grace on the increasingly gruesome Cleveland kidnapping story. The story insists the networks are trying to make it seem like the reporters are on opposite sides of the globe despite being in the same parking lot. Hey, haven’t we seen those trucks someplace before? If you’re a complete idiot, not to worry. Atlantic Wire points out similar background scenes in excruciating detail. Have a look here.

Meghan McCain at odds with father’s views — The Daily Caller has a piece today on Meghan McCain‘s obvious disappointment with Rep.-elect Mark Sanford‘s win last night. They point out that her father, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), donated to her campaign and that he doesn’t believe that sex is the only criteria for a politician’s ability to serve in Congress. See the story here.

Hmmm what could they possibly be insinuating? This morning Gawker has a blunt story on the unquestionably close relationship between CNN’s Howard Kurtz and Daily Download Editor-in-Chief Lauren Ashburn. They wonder about her having her own office at The Daily Beast, which raised office eyebrows. They crack on the cornball videos produced by Kurtz and Ashburn that have run on the Daily Download. Sam Biddle writes, “Many of the episodes look like they’re filmed in a janitorial closet—perhaps inside the Beast’s digs. It sure looks cozy in there, and we hear the duo were ‘inseparable’ around various DC social and political functions, too.” He concludes, “Heard anything else? Let us know.” Read the full story here.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“DC ON ALERT: Outside White House, Pennsylvania Ave again closed to pedestrians.” — NBC News’ Peter Alexander with accompanying photograph. 

CAUTIOUS CORRESPONDENTS: “I don’t want to overly speculate because as you know early reports are often wrong, we could be way off base but clearly they are saying this was an explosive device, an improvised explosive advice, in other words, a bomb.” — CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “We’ve been careful all afternoon, did not jump to conclusions.” — FNC’s Bret Baier.

Did someone say conclusions? “I’m getting suspicious with everyone telling me not to ‘jump to conclusions.’ I hadn’t, but now I’m beginning to …” — Conservative Commentator Ann Coulter.

Journo finds new ritual in wake of tragedy

“New weird post-tragedy ritual: I click ‘like’ on the ‘we’re ok’ Facebook status of friends who might not have been…” — Yahoo! News’ Olivier Knox.

It’s a go. “Supposed to board a flight from New Orleans to Boston in 10 minutes. TSA and gate agent both still telling me it’s a go.” — Digital First Media Thunderdome’s Adrienne LaFrance, who also writes for WaPo and Nieman Lab.

Award-winning “too soon” quote: “I’m going to speculate the bomb was planted by cable TV talking heads.” — David Burge, Iowahawkblog.

Why he looked at gruesome Boston pictures: “I looked at the photos because apparently I just have to know how awful the world can be sometimes.” — Dave Stroup, Digital Director, Aneesh Chopra for Virginia Lt. Gov.

Coping, communicating: “Hispanic kid who work at Don Juan’s takeout counter translating reports of Boston Marathon explosion to non English speakers at table.” — InTheseTimes labor journo Mike Elk.

Mistakes bound to happen…“Post also reported 10 more dead than Boston PD are confirming.” — Seth Mnookin.

Don’t blame Boston scribes: “Boston is a hell of a news town. Great reporters doing what they do. All the wild speculation and rumors, not coming from hometowners.” — AP‘s Matt Apuzzo, who works on the Washington D.C.-based investigative team.

On Capitol Hill: “Mood extremely tense on Capitol Hill. Police evacuating grounds as precaution after Boston marathon bombing.” — Stephen Barton, Policy and Outreach Assistant at Mayors Against Illegal Guns.

Reporter on the ground: “Fine. Reporting. I was 10 feet from explosion. Shaken up. But not a scratch. Worst thing I ever saw.” — Boston Globe reporter David Abel.

The Media Critics

“Seriously, @FoxNews? Best you can do is birther sheriff Joe Arapaio to discuss security? Really? #boston” — Politico‘s Steve Friess.

“When network news is good, its great. Brian Williams on NC right now is great stuff. Matt Lauer doing a standup from outside Mass General.” — Politico‘s Jake Sherman.

Just the Facts

“#Boston police officer tells me bombs were packed with small metal objects meant to maim–nails, zippers, blades.” — ABC’s Terry Moran.

“Was interesting to watch nearly everyone in my Twitter feed automatically assume the New York Post was lying today.” — BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray.

Journalists emote on Boston tragedy… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Brad Blynier, one of the owners of the War Shore Oyster Company, the company that’s harvesting the exclusive oyster for the restaurant, describes the oyster as “farm raised, premium cocktail-sized and has a robust brininess with a clean, mild and sweet finish.”

Based on the oyster’s characteristics, we’ve come up with naming suggestions but feel free to come up with your own (write us at Betsy@mediabistro.com,  fishbowldc@mediabistro.com or use our Anonymous Tips button):

The Badass Oyster: Do we even need to name the journalist who comes to work with a chain tied to his waste? That’d be BuzzFeed D.C. Bureau Chief John Stanton. The Meghan: For Meghan McCain, a tart oyster served naked of its shell; The Rose Garden: after The Daily Caller‘s Neil Munro, an oyster served live and will never shut up. The Burger Oyster: it’s cocktail-sized, after all, and has former TIME scribe and professional partygoer Tim Burger written all over it. To spice things up, we have The Rosie: sweet, tart and can cuss like a sailor for BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray (and we mean nothing by the tart, only that it’s a flavor that might be present in an oyster.). The Bob Schieffer, farm raised, but still clean and sweet– an undeniable D.C. institution. The Hardball Oyster: All robust and briny things should be named after MSNBC host Chris Matthews, shouldn’t they? The Pothead Oyster: all laid back and smooth, HuffPost‘s Sam Stein. The Howeeza: after mild, sweet Judy Kurtz from The Hill. The Ezzy: serious and wonky with a touch of lemon and an aroma of fresh figs for WaPo‘s favorite “f–k you” blogger Ezra Klein. The Weingarten: a little sour-aftertaste for D.C.’s ultimate curmudgeon, WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten. The Luke: for MSNBC’s Luke Russert, a very meaty oyster;  “Shorty” the Jake Sherman oyster. The Stealth Spunkster: she’s everywhere and nowhere all at once after Hollywood on the Potomac‘s Janet Donovan; and The Lady: the always well-mannered and comedy-laced Neda Semnani from Roll Call‘s HOH. The Angry Oyster: Can you guess? That’d be Tim Grieve, who just gave Politico the middle finger and bolted to National Journal. The Fresh Mouthed Oyster: Politico‘s own salty tweeter Ben White, who likes to share his crappy hotel experiences. Hey, maybe this time the Jefferson Hotel will actually hold a reservation for him or the W will give him a room that doesn’t place the bathroom in the foyer. The Potty Mouthed Oyster: Mike Elk, a brusque, sharp-flavored oyster for the labor journo who swears more than any other. The Shooter: Who else? After the gun activist journalist herself, Emily Miller of TWT. And finally, we offer The Boyle: for you-know-who, the always all blown up Matthew Boyle of Breitbart News.

Do not stop reading. We’re not kidding. Here’s the fun part… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Not everyone thought it was such a good idea. Meghan McCain took to Twitter to confront Kaczynski. She tweeted, “you’re gonna live to regret underestimating me.” Uh oh. Could this be a possible smack down brewing over McCain’s upcoming TV show on new cable channel, Pivot?

Well, not exactly. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Last night supposed MSNBC Contributor and The Daily Beast/Newsweek Columnist Meghan McCain announced some pretty big news that she had some big news to announce.

Big news being announced tomorrow… stay tuned.

— Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) March 26, 2013

She soon realized that curiosity was rampant and wanted to dispel a few possibilities that include McCain announcing her run for mayor of New York (presumably against Anthony Weiner), former Veep Dick Cheney being her father and more.

Just to curb this, my big news – I’m not engaged or pregnant, and I really wouldn’t hold my breath on those two happening any time soon.

— Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) March 27, 2013

Crossing our fingers that this is all worth the angst.

UPDATE: Here’s the news from McCain’s feed: “I am SO EXCITED to announce my first series ‘Raising McCain’ will premiere this summer on Participant’s new cable network PIVOT!!!” Our reaction: !!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Meghan McCain

“Chris Geidner and I are so cool now!” McCain tweeted Monday. “Apparently I once blocked him, but now we’re besties!” Included in the tweet was a photo of the two after she spoke in support of same-sex marriage at an event in D.C.

While speaking with McCain, Geidner says he casually slipped in the fact that she had blocked him on Twiter. “I told her something along the lines of, ‘I’ll be honest, you had blocked me a long time ago when we got in some Twitter fight over something,” Geidner told FishbowlDC.

“Neither of us remember the situation, but we were younger then,” he said. “I’m sure I said something intemperate and, as Meghan said, she was more sensitive back then. We’re both grown ups now (allegedly), so we made up and, as Meghan tweeted, it’s all good.”

A true coming of age story.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

1. Do you feel sorry for the Reuters Deputy Social Media dude, Matthew Keys, who could serve up to 25 years in the slammer?

No. Lay down with dogs, get up with fleas…carrying indictments. The First Amendment is a “you can’t be punished for your opinions” card, not a “get out of jail free” card.

2. Which conservative journalist is most impressive right now and why?

Tim Carney at the Washington Examiner. He’s more of a Libertarian, but he calls out everyone for their ties to lobbyists, not just one side or the other. In other words, he’s intellectually honest, which is all too rare in the Fourth Estate these days.

3. With Hasslebeck leaving The View, who ought to replace her? Meghan McCain has been mentioned.

I just threw up in my mouth. I’ve heard MSNBC’s S.E. Cupp and author and columnist Jedidiah Bila had also been suggested and had the same reaction. It won’t happen, but I’d like someone with real experience in politics on there, someone like Fox News’ Dana Perino, whose opinion is informed, not a mile wide and an inch deep. Or maybe, if they want to stick with people from outside politics, like actresses Patricia Heaton or Stacey Dash. But I suspect we’ll get someone like Jane Fonda.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

DOG IN SUITCASE: “Packing my things for a short vacation.” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein with the accompanying photograph.

Words to live by

“I’ve certainly been to Ikea. Just don’t recall a meatballs department.” — CNN’s Jake Tapper.

Whistling while she works

“Dear neighbors: your fears are correct: I am recording a whistling demo. If you had not locked your wifi this might have been avoided.” — WaPo humor blogger and columnist Alexandra Petri.

Journo sees glass half full

“Much as I have to complain about younger journalists, at least they didn’t grow up with this super-distorted idolatry of Woodward/Bernstein” — Media Matters’ Oliver Willis.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 8:08 a.m.

Quote Taken out of Context

“Just so long as cows don’t start showing up in my horse meat meat balls.” — WSJ‘s Neil King.

Meghan McCain tries to avoid foot fetishist

“There’s a foot fetishist on twitter whose bio says my feet are one of his two favorites ever. So basically I’m done with the internet today.” — MSNBC Contributor and Daily Beast Columnist Meghan McCain.

Weigel says no Judd

“We focus too much on Ashley Judd and not enough on the 300 million odd other Americans who will also never be senators.” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

Ugly convo between two journos. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Glenn, you once fake vomited on your show in response to an PSA I did, I would like to talk to you about this. Call me,” McCain tweeted to conservative radio host Glenn Beck. She was referring to a radio segment Beck did where he made gagging noises while watching a skin cancer video PSA McCain participated in nearly two years ago.

“Laura, you once publicly said some things about me that really hurt me,” McCain then tweeted to Laura Ingraham, also a conservative radio host. “It’s taken me a long time to get here, but I would really like to talk to you in person. Call me.” Here, McCain is referring to the time Ingraham called McCain “plus-sized.” This happened in 2009.

Even the skin on Lil’ Kim’s nose isn’t this thin.

And as if there was any doubt McCain’s tweets have always been a freak show… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

The MSNBC Contributor, Daily Beast columnist and daughter of Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) announced to the Twitterverse, “Random people always want to drink beer with me – and I with them.”

In the abstract… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“That’s nice that they brought Ed Schultz out this morning,” a reader wrote in.

World’s most boring assignment

“I’m at the @PressClubDC to cover the @USEnergyAssn’s Electric Power panels.” — SNLEnergy Transmission reporter Corbin Hiar. Hiar doesn’t work for NBC’s “Saturday Night Live.” Rather, he works for SNL Financial: “SNL Financial was originally founded as ‘S&L Securities’ in New Jersey in 1987 with an initial focus on the savings and loan industry,” the website explains. “But state law would not permit the incorporation of a non-bank with ‘S&L’ in the official company name.” So they replaced the “&” with an “N” to create “SNL.”

Self-appointed media critic takes swipe at WaPo

“WaPo says:’storm has the potential to produce shovelable snow accumulations but also has the potential to skirt us to the south’ shovelable?” — Kathy Jentz, Editor of Washington Gardener.

Ahh, memories

“Algeria was my life for about three months last year; wrote my 40-page LSE dissertation on political mobilization & regime stability there.” — FNC Senate Producer Kara Rowland.

WTF: Posting a blog? 

“WASHINGTON-Philip Tegeler, executive director of the Policy & Race Research Action Council (PRRAC), today posted a Huffington Post blog on a new transportation policy from the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) that may inadvertently cause a negative impact on residents of urban, low-income communities.” — The first graph of a release from the Policy & Race Research Action Council, which apparently doesn’t know what a blog is.

A real HuffPost headline: “Disturbing horsemeat burgers prompt investigation”

Newsflash: We’re selling the home!

“Dad told me they’re moving out of my childhood home in a TEXT MESSAGE today. Said it was payback for years of not returning his calls.” — Politico Live Producer Christine Delargy.

FNC’s Baier responds to follower who calls him an idiot

“Sorry to lose you -hope u come back” — FNC anchor Bret Baier to a follower who remarked, “Just watched SR and what a stupid segmt on NRA. U and panel are idiots.” Bye.”

Bon Voyage Reid Wilson

“See ya, USA. Back in three months. Will arrive in AKL in 13 hours.” — National Journal‘s “The Hotline” Editor-in-Chief Reid Wilson. AKL is Auckland Airport in New Zealand, where Wilson has taken off to for three months with his wife. The plan for Wilson to take a three-month leave has been in the works for awhile; everyone knew it would take place at the conclusion of the 2012 election cycle. Managing Editor Quinn McCord and Steve Shepard are in charge until Reid’s April return. With limited communication, you’d think he’d stay off the grid, right? Wrong. Colleagues and friends can track his every thought by reading this blog.  For starters, Reid has a humongous fear of flying. “There were times when I wondered if I’d follow thru with this New Zealand trip. About to board LAX-AKL flight, so thrilled I didn’t wuss out,” he writes.

Quote Taken Out of Context

“The way I do my thing is strange. I just inject myself into your veins.” — MSNBC Contributor and Daily Beast Columnist Meghan McCain.

Fake dead girlfriend jokes at a glance…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

She took to Twitter to tell the world, “I have more beanies, vans and issues with authority than most sixteen year old skater kids.”

Yeah, she’s ready to have a “Chickie Run” out at the edge of town or a knife fight at the Griffith Observatory. Those are references to “Rebel Without a Cause” for the uninitiated.

As for the “beanies” part of her tweet… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Last night on Twitter, McCain tweeted, “Um, John Boehner told Harry Reid to go fuck himself outside the Oval Office. Yeah, it’s totally my generation that’s screwing everything up.”  OK, fine. That’s her opinion and, no matter how foul-mouthed she is, she’s entitled to it.

But she wasn’t quite done.

Later she tweeted, “And yes, I hold a different standard for how people behave holding office, in the White House and in congress [sic] than I do myself on the road.”

What caused this second tweet? It might have been Buzzfeed’s Andrew Kaczynski who pointed out to her that, “You wrote a book for mass production with the title ‘America You Sexy Bitch’ and you’re hitting Boehner for saying ‘fuck.’”

Meghan, always unwilling to back up her stupidity, responded with… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.