SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” – Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

“Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

• “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.

• “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.

• “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

• “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.

• “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.

• “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… continued…

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“I’m glad my four-star general got a four-star penis. That’s what I like. … I LOVE a good scandal. Ooooooh!!” – Comedian Loni Love on E!’s “Chelsea Lately” show last night.

Uh oh. Howard Kurtz: Shirtless?

“Feeling out of the loop for not having any shirtless photos of myself. Maybe that’s the new business card.” — CNN and Newsweek/The Daily Beast‘s Sexy Beast Howard Kurtz.

Gay activist hopes for dirty pics

“You know that in all those tens of thousands of emails that there have to be some pictures….there has to be.” — GOProud Co-founder Jimmy LaSalvia.

Actress weighs in on Petraeus scandal

“Petraeus thing getting weirder. How about the unstable sister and the judge? Still, it’s a crying shame. Many lives in ruins. — Bette Midler.

Meghan reinvents herself and the GOP

“I decided I will now refer to myself and others like me as ‘modern republicans’ not ‘moderate’. I think it’s a better description. #evolve” — MSNBC and The Daily Beast‘s Meghan McCain.

Important Question to Ponder: “WTF is your job as a flak if you literally refuse to talk to reporters? What an embarrassment.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

Sighting: Jada Pinkett Smith

“Spotted in Senate subways: Jada Pinkett Smith.” — Bloomberg Senate Leadership reporter Kate Hunter.

WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza becomes the Scolder-in-Chief

“Rove twitpic with Paul Broadwell is from JUNE. Come on people.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Sen. Kerry breaks promise to press

“Sen. John Kerry promised reporters he’d come out to the mics to talk after closed Benghazi briefing, then gives us the slip. Sneaky.” — Fox News’ Kara Rowland.

A journo has something good to say about Amtrak for a change, a GOP operative is going to flip out during his commute any day now and NBC MTP’s Betsy Fischer Martin has an observation about military marriages …

continued…

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BOSOM BUDDIES: If they do nothing else, conventions bond people together in unfathomable ways. The Daily Caller Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson poses with FishbowlDC’s Peter Ogburn, also producer of The Bill Press Show. This makes up for all the times Carlson told Ogburn to go f&%k himself.

A follower to Howard Stern: “Thank you for not tweeting about politics!!!” Howard Stern: “I’ll stick to fart jokes.”

A question to end all questions: ‘How are you?’

“I then headed down the hall for a brief separate interview with [Stephanie] Cutter, whom I’ve known for years, going back to when she was John Kerry’s spokeswoman. ‘How are you?’ I asked. ‘Are we on the record?’ she replied. — NYT Magazine’s Mark Leibovich in a first person account of covering presidential campaigns and the joylessness of the current campaign season. Read the full story and see the frighteningly ugly graphics of the candidates here.

STOP THE PRESSES! Weigel gets rubdown in HuffPost Oasis

“OH outside HuffPost Oasis: ‘Somebody spilled coconut water all over my shoe!’” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel, who quickly added, “Not to mock the HuffPost Oasis. I partook of a free massage there.” Not surprisingly, an obviously mature follower asked, “Geez dude, right there in the open? Was there a happy ending?”

Cheap motels here we come! Is David Corn here?

“A cheap motel in Charlotte…just how I want to spend my holiday weekend. Welcome to the DNC!” — Co-founder and Exec. Director of GOProud Jimmy LaSalvia. (Mother Jones Washington Bureau Chief David Corn stayed at what he dubbed Motel Hell — a.k.a. Days in Busch Gardens, Fla. — until he could stand it no more and shacked up in a downtown condo belonging to a fellow writer who offered him better accommodations on Twitter during the GOP Convention in Tampa. Pictured here: Corn with Victoria White in her living room.

Points for effort? “Dead 460-word lede that took me five hours to write just cut down to 100 words that I could have written in 30 mins. Much better, but geez.” — WaPo Book World Editor Ron Charles.

Exploding pens! The epidemic continues…

“Anyone know what makes pens decide to leak? I’ve had three go rogue on the inside of my purse in the last two days. Ink everywhere.” — WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty. Last week PBS’s Gwen Ifill dealt with an exploding pen just before going on air.

AMAZING FEATS: Harwood’s garage door opener works

“Frontiers of technology: turns out that garage door opener, even after having been slathered w/cheese grits (don’t ask) still gets job done” — CNBC and NYT‘s John Harwood.

WTF? Breitbart.com reporter prematurely accuses media of racism

“MSM did absurd strip club stories at RNC. So if they don’t do same at DNC…why?!? Racist MSM have smthng against ethnic DNC strippers?” — In an act of absolute stellar reporting, Breitbart.com‘s Tony Lee, formerly of Human Events, accuses “MSM” of racist reporting at the Democratic National Convention before it even begins. WWBD? Not this.

Cab complaint in Charlotte

“Advice to all in #Charlotte: Avoid the Orange Cab company. An hour late for pickup. Told four times cab was ‘five minutes’ away.” — The Weekly Standard Senior Writer Stephen Hayes.

Journo laments latest fashion trends

“So glad to see that this year’s dominant style will be high waists and short skirts, two things which look just darling on a 6’2 woman.” — The Atlantic‘s Megan McArdle.

Old School Baier Vomit

“Heading to see my wife and kids- hopping a plane back to dc and then coming back sunday-haven’t see the boys in 10 days-need a day w the fam.” — FNC’s Bret Baier. He adds, “I am loving life this morning – these guys woke me up at 630a.” And there you have his adorable sons — both with trademark Bret Baier wavy chestnut hair — in perfectly matched outfits.

Cool guy talk

“Guys, it’s Twitter. It’s happening. It’s not going to change. Ride the wave, brah.” — Politico‘s Dylan Byers getting his Twitter on.

And speaking of cool, a reporter goes Eastwooding at the vet

“Keeping myself occupied waiting at the vet on a rainy Sunday night #eastwooding” — Politico‘s Dan Berman.

Boingo hot spot anyone?

“The two most evil, rancid, hateful words in the English language for work travelers: Boingo Hotspot” — Politico‘s Ben White. And from the Dept. of Bragiculture, White (a FishbowlDC fave but we have to rip on him for this) retweets a follower complimenting him: “Your tweets have been so… compelling & educative for me.” He replies, “So kind! My pleasure.”

Modern Dating: Journo accidentally asks out flight attendant

“Flight attendant just moved to DC,doesn’t know anyone. Wanted to say we could go out as friends; may have accidentally asked her out. Awkward.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

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