Quotes of the Day

The Hill’s Editor-at-Large on the mend

“Docs told I have switch to shuffleboard and quit trying to be another Roger Federer. Sending me home today with strict instructions to quit chasing cat downstairs and wife upstairs.” — The Hill‘s Editor-at-Large Al Eisele who has been in the ICU this week with a blood clot after taking a spill on the tennis court. Eisele is still in the hospital, but is out of the ICU. He’s receiving emails on his new iPad at alesiele@thehill.com.

Whoa! Manners on Cable News? 

“You and I don’t see the world with the same set of eyes.” — California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsome quietly and politely to Brian Brown, President of the National Organization for Marriage, during an appearance on CNN’s “The Lead” Tuesday. The topic: gay marriage. Newsome was for it; loudmouthed porky Brown was opposed.

On HuffPost coming out of closet

“Once we learned that @HuffPostGay is gay, we began to look at the issue in a different light,” — HuffPost Washington Bureau Chief Ryan Grim in reaction to our post on HuffPost‘s rainbow avatar that debuted Tuesday.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 8:49 a.m.

Reporter detects brain farts in columnist’s views

“Wow. Shithead ‘legendary’ newspaperman proposes taxing email to subsidize Post Office.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie on the magazine’s Matt Welch‘s story on George Skelton, a California political writer who has worked for LAT since 1974. He has done stints in both Sacramento and Washington. Skelton said he’d allow about 100 private emails a month tax free. Beyond that, taxable.

An excerpt from Welch’s story:

“How about you leave me alone, George Skelton, by not taking my money in the name of keeping open money-losing post offices?

Read the whole column for such columnar brain-fartery as “I’d allow everyone a certain number of untaxed, private emails a month — 100, maybe 200. After that, each message would cost one cent, up to a certain size.” Hat tip to Michael C. Moynihan.”

Rather Unusual Question to Ponder: “Is it wrong to secretly record an ex’s rant so you can remember what he gets like when he goes zero to sixty out of nowhere? #covertactivity.” — MetroWeekly Founder and Editor-in-Chief Randy Shulman.

Meet Lisa De Pasquale, former CPAC director and blogger for Breitbart News and Townhall.

De Pasquale began her career in media at 14 years old as the “Teen Movie Critic,” a feature in the Tallahassee Democrat in her hometown of Tallahassee, Fla. Coincidentally, she’s a Republican and made her way to the conservative side of the field after attending a journalism conference in D.C. at 16.

Since then, De Pasquale has traveled with conservative author Ann Coulter (though it was on 9/11 and their planes were grounded), walked through a casino with rocker Ted Nugent and loaned conservative columnist Michelle Malkin her mascara.

She currently lives in Northern Virginia and alerts us that though she’s a board member of the gay Republican group GOProud, she’s also “straight, single and ready to mingle/participate in flirty banter in exchange for drinks and dessert. ”

Now the questions…

If you were a carbonated beverage, which would you be? One of the odd-ball ones like bacon soda or the turkey and stuffing soda they sell at Thanksgiving. You’re repulsed, but also a little curious.

How often do you Google yourself? Whenever I’m trying to find an article I wrote so I can plagiarize myself for a new article.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to an editor/boss (or vice versa)? I was told I would get fired if a memo I wrote got out. He was right.

Have you ever goofed up on air? What happened? I don’t know if counts as a goof, but before a political radio interview my then-boyfriend dared me to say “nipple” during the interview. I did AND it was in context.

Who is your favorite working journalist and why? Jake Tapper. He’s thoughtful, engages with people on Twitter and has a cute dog.

Do you have a favorite word? Schadenfreude

Who are you named after and what are people’s general reaction to your name? I was named “Lisa” because Elvis died the year I was born and his daughter’s name was very popular at the time. I get more reaction from my last name though, which means “of Easter” in Italian. Calling attendance on the first day of school always went something like this: Adams, Brown, Cooper, … Lisa…, Davis.

Who would you rather have dinner with – NBC’s Brian Williams, CNN’s Roland Martin, ABC’s Sherri Shepherd or Fox News’ Megyn Kelly? Tell us why. Megyn Kelly because there’s a greater probability that cute guys will come to our table.

The Earth’s human population is dying out and you must save it. You will spend a romantic evening with either WaPo’s George Will, NYT’s Thomas Friedman or any Fox News anchor. Who will it be? (None is not an option.) Read more

Quotes of the Day — State of the Union-Fugitive Edition

SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” – Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

“Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

• “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.

• “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.

• “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

• “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.

• “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.

• “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… Read more

Early this morning around 2 a.m. The Daily Caller posted their bombshell video of two Dominican hookers alleging to have had sex with U.S. Sen. Bob Menendez (D-N.J.). Nothing like a Washington sex scandal to follow up a deadly hurricane. The whole thing was majorly hyped by Drudge around midnight, with Washington and New York journalists fighting to stay awake to see it. Reason magazine’s Nick Gillespie wrote, “Exit Q: is it worth staying up to see if The Daily Caller‘s big scoop is about Bob Menendez booty calls w prostitutes?” Some got fed up and hit the hay. And Instapundit snapped, “Good night Daily Caller. I stayed up until midnight, but your story didn’t appear. Sleep is more important. Next time less tease, please.” Others stayed up and tweeted about it well into the wee hours of the morning.

The senator has denied all charges as false.

Still, here we offer five reasons why you should bother watching the video in which a translator questions the prostitutes:

1. Breasts. Have you ever seen an interview where jiggling breasts were the focal point of a supposedly serious interview? It’s so ridiculous that it borders on fantastic, complete with a fat, white balloon type image sort of covering the woman’s face. For comical purposes, the only improvement we can see is if they’d distorted and disguised the woman’s voices.

2. The translator’s English is amazing. And by amazing we mean that we love translators who can speak Spanglish and pronounce English words with thick Spanish accents. It makes the interviews that much more powerful. (“She was prrrromised $500 and was only given one hundrrred.”) He’s so good even El Bloombito (New York Mayor Bloomberg’s Twitter alias) might get jealous. If there is a God, SNL will spoof this.

See our remaining reasons and watch the video…

Read more

Despite being fired, unemployed and absent from the FNC airwaves for the last two months, Michelle Fields is included in Details magazine’s “Next Wave of Political Pundits.” The list was published online yesterday.

There’s little reason to doubt that once Fields is once again gainfully employed that she’ll be back on FNC and it’s quite possible she has a bright future there. But Details has her listed as a “Guest Commentator” when she hasn’t been seen on the network since she was let go from The Daily Caller in August.

Fields appears to spend her time these days tweeting and updating her personal blog.

Others who made Details‘ list seemed to make more sense apart from a certain senator’s daughter… Read more

Quotes of the Day: The V.P. Debate Edition

“Biden is better than Viagra for senior citizens #vpdebate” — ABC’s “The View” and Current TV’s Joy Behar.

Praise for Martha!

“Martha Raddatz already won this debate.” — lawyer and CNN Contributor Rachel Sklar.

“Can we have Martha do the debates at Hofstra and Boca, too?” — New York magazine’s John Heilemann.

“Hold Ryan’s feet to the fire Martha! That’s right!” — D.C. Councilman and former Mayor Marion Barry.

“Asking Martha Raddatz to moderate my Thanksgiving dinner.” — JRC’s Ryan Beckwith.

“Have we mentioned in the past 3 minutes what a great #VPdebate Martha Raddatz is running? Yep.” — Mother Jones.

“Martha Raddatz is doing a great job. Substantive and also maintaining control.” — NBC’s David Gregory.

“Holy smokes does @MarthaRaddatz know her facts or what?” — Photographer Lauren Burke.

Down with Martha!

It seems like whenever @PaulRyanVP is getting on a roll, Martha ‘Obama attended my wedding’ Raddatz cuts him off.” — The Daily Caller‘s Matthew Boyle, who added, “Martha ‘Obama attended my wedding’ Raddatz shouldn’t be allowed to moderate any more debates in future. She’s failed.”

“THE MARTHA AND JOE TAGTEAM INTERRUPTING RYAN.” — Conservative blogger Robert Stacy McCain.

“I’m sorry, after tonight I cannot support the Lehrer-Raddatz ticket.” — National Review‘s Jim Geraghty.

A compliment and an insult for Martha

“The thing about @MarthaRaddatz is she’s a reporter, not an anchor.” — Slate‘s Farhad Manjoo.

Debate fallout: Top Thoughts 

“Crossfire: VEEP edition.” — NYT‘s Nick Confessore.

“Old guys acting like a jerk ain’t cool. Think Romney’s jeans-wearing is also silly, for what it’s worth.” — Washington Examiner‘s Paul Bedard.

“Biden translation: I’ve been boys with Bibi since you were in diapers little buddy.” — CBS’s Kaylee Hartung.

“Biden is noticeably more loose. More folksy. Ryan has been solid..and his little interjection just now showed some life.” — NationalReviewOnline‘s Robert Costa.

“There is a real hair-product gap between the Obama-Biden and Romney-Ryan tickets.” — The New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza.

“Biden is seriously annoying. Shut up dude.” — The Daily Caller‘s Paul Conner.

“Biden basically uncorking every line liberals wanted Obama to use.” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

“Fair to say Biden is speaking with details and Ryan in broad platitudes. Reflects their backgrounds on this subject matter.” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein.

“This is better than Jerry Springer!” — Reason magazine’s Peter Suderman.

“I think Biden thinks he had his Lloyd Bentsen ‘you’re no Jack Kennedy’ moment with his “you’re kennedy now?” line. He didn’t.” — NationalReviewOnline‘s Jonah Goldberg.

“It is frightening right now how much Joe Biden reminds me of my dad (also from Scranton)” — NYT‘s Ashley Parker.

“Amazing Ryan is keeping his cool. I’m not onstage and Biden is starting to piss me off.” — The Atlantic‘s Molly Ball.

“Biden is going full-Biden tonight.” — RealClearPolitics reporter Scott Conroy.

“Seriously, Biden is just schooling young Ryan…fun to watch tho” — Media Matters‘ Eric Boehlert.

“What’s weird: Biden a little too loose, Ryan a little too tight.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

“Biden fueled up for debate last few days on M&Ms, animal crackers & Gatorade. Sugar high appeared to kick in around 8:59 ET”  — West Wing Report‘s Paul Brandus.

“You have to admit, Biden is on fire.” — UVA Political Science Prof Larry Sabato.

“The Biden smile. its like a thousand snarky hate daggers” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“I think they tightened @JoeBiden’s hair plugs a little too much tonight.” — TownHall‘s Derek Hunter.

“Biden has mastered the art of answering the subject (and not the question), which is very effective in debates.” — The Week.com‘s Marc Ambinder.

“I’m 47 and not rich. I’m going to need Social Security, fuckers.” — WashingtonStakeOut.com  blogger Sam Husseini, who is also Comm. Director for the Institute for Public Accuracy.

“This debate is terrible. It is not a matter of who wins. It is a matter of this is just the kind of politics people hate.” — GOP Pollster Dick Morris.

“How this debate differs from fish: It takes three days for a fish to start stinking.” — Reason magazine’s Nick Gillespie.

And now, Chris Cillizza for the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

“The pumpkin spice latte is the Raul Ibanez of coffee drinks. It’s not always around but when it is, it’s very, very good.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Photo Credit: A parade of compliments poured in for the above Reuters photograph of Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. 

Quotes of the Day – The Debate Edition

“Is Jim Lehrer sleeping zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?” – GOP Consultant Roger Stone.

“Is that Jim Lehrer’s heart rate monitor on the bottom of the CNN screen?” — Comedian Chris Rock parody account. He also commented on the first lady’s attire, saying, “Michelle Obama is wearing sleeves. This is serious.”

Advice for Lehrer: “I think Jim Lehrer just needs to start randomly yelling “get off my lawn” when he wants to move to the next topic.” — CNN Contributor and RedState‘s Erick Erickson.

And another thing…“Jim Lehrer looks confused, almost fearful. And pale. Awfully pale.” — Bloomberglp’s Dir. of Social Media Jared Keller. And another thing…“Q: Did Jim Lehrer ask to be made up to look like Burgess Meredith?” — Author Eric Metaxas. And another thing…“We’re deep enough into this to say that Jim Lehrer is blowing this as a moderator.” — MetroWeekly‘s Co-Publisher Sean Bugg.

The Word Police

“Obama uses the term ‘ironically’ to mean unfortunately. It drives me crazy when people do that.” — TWT Opinion Writer Emily Miller.

The Observer

“Journalists posting screengrabs of their TV hits is this election’s worst development.” – Politico‘s Patrick Gavin.

Ragging on the Prez

• “Not to pile on, but there is no overstating how irritated Obama looks and sounds tonight. Not a good look for him.” — National Journal “The Hotline Senior Editor Tim Alberta.

• “Pres Obama has really a developed a penchant for talking ….. at considerable length.” — NYT Deputy Washington Bureau Chief Carl Hulse.

• “Obama says it is never mind.. Obama is lost, all he can he do is lie.” — WaPo‘s right-wing blogger Jennifer Rubin.

• “Slowly the left is starting to acknowledge that Obama is losing this debate.” — WaPo‘s Aaron Blake.

• “Obama has many talents as a politician, but debating is not one of them.” — The New Yorker staff writer David Grann.

• “Romney more lively, O has case of slowskis – yet much of debate a ref on Mitt’s econ plan.” — Politico‘s Jonathan Martin.

• “Obama needs some of Romney’s 5-Hour Energy.” — National Journal Deputy Editor James Oliphant.

• “Obama’s use of a boring accent is a pander to boring people.” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

• “Visuals matter. Mute your TV and what do you see? Smiling Romney and peeved, smirking Obama” — National Journal Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier.

Question to Ponder: “Why is Obama looking down so much?” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Something else to Ponder: “Ok, I promise I’m listening and not just focusing on the flag pins, but what is that mark on Romney’s pin?” — Washingtonian‘s Fashion Editor Kate Bennett.

Journo prefers Honey Boo Boo

“Obama, Romney, for your sakes, I hope Honey Boo Boo isn’t on. Because this is getting pretty wonky.” — National Journal’s Elahe Izadi.

A compliment for Romney from the left: “Romney’s been natural and unusually funny in this debate. It’s a very strong performance.” — WaPo‘s left-wing wonk writer Ezra Klein.

Debate Downers

“I’m not picturing the senior citizens of Boca West understanding this debate so far.” — The Atlantic‘s Jeffrey Goldberg.

“We need to minimize the maximifications of the absolute level of mumbojumbery. Or else, fiscal cliff up the ying yang!” — Reason magazine’s Nick Gillespie.

Ivanka is proud of her dad

“Wow! How many times are the candidates going to mention my father this debate?!? What an honor!” — Ivanka Trump.

What, no bathroom breaks?

“Sometimes I wish I had a catheter.” — Elizabeth Lauten, a.k.a. DCGOPGirl, who reported for CNN during the summer conventions. She added, “Seriously, they ought to have one bathroom break in the middle or something. It’s otherwise inhumane.” (Elizabeth, your catheter for the next debate is in the mail.) 

From the Dept. of Bragiculture 

“Finally hit the big time: Just got an interview request from a Danish high school paper. Some of you will be lucky to say you knew me when.” — The Daily Caller‘s Taylor Bigler.

Quotes of the Day

“It’s so hard to talk these days.” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren in reaction to V.P. Joe Biden‘s “gaffe” yesterday.

“He’s gotta recognize that he’s gonna be double teamed. Jim Lehrer is part of the cultural left so Mitt is going to have to communicate past Lehrer and past Obama to reach the American people.” — Fmr. Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich on FNC last night.

Not enough black journos on air tonight?

“@rolandsmartin we need a black room twitter debate team tonight since none of us will be on AIR–get some #WashingtonWatch peeps together.” — Preacher Sophia Nelson of theGrio.com, Essence and USA Today.

In the category of bright ideas…

“Today, I think I’ll work on a column giving Mitt Romney some advice because I want people to know how smart I am.” — DoubleThink‘s J.P. Freire.

Journo in-fighting between two guys named Alex

Salon‘s Alex Pareene: “I hope TheDC doesn’t uncover shocking video of me saying soda instead of pop on east coast.” The Daily Caller‘s Alex Pappas replied, “Don’t worry, no one cares about you.”

Speaking of that video…

• “Impressive in dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks category: Hannity calling non-news Obama ’07 Hampton video ‘a bombshell abt to be dropped’ on WH race” — CNBC and NYT‘s John Harwood.

• “If Obama haters think I’m going to expend a ton of energy on this issue, they are nuts. This amounts to nothing.” — CNN Contributor and Washington Watch host Roland Martin.

• “Oh lawd.. someone send me a link to TEH VIDEEOOHH!!” — Michelle Ray, Social Media Director at Conservative Daily News. It’s here.

• “Why are liberals so shocked that Fox News, Drudge, and Tucker Carlson practice racist demagoguery? Like being shocked sky is blue.” — David Zirin, Sports Editor at The Nation.

And Breitbart.com editor blesses Drudge, rips MSM

“Squirm, corrupt media, squirm! #GodBlessDrudge” — Breitbart.com’s John Nolte.

Mitt Romney’s Lunch: The Nasty Aftermath

“Can someone please interview the Chipotle worker? I can’t stop giggling. I want to know everything about him.” — National Journal’s Elahe Izadi.

“Romney’s Chipotle order: burrito bowl, pork, rice, black beans, guac, salsa (per pool report)” — HuffPost’s Amanda Terkel.

Important Q to Ponder: “Seriously, why the fuck are people tweeting Romney’s lunch? Who gives a shit?” — Daily Kos’ Markos Moulitsas.

“Per pool, Romney is having Chipotle for lunch. He and Sen. Portman both had pork burrito bowls with guacamole.” — The Atlantic‘s Molly Ball.

Depression is…

“Sort of depressing to drive around KC and see a liquor store named after Harry Truman.” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

Optimism is…“We’re ALL gonna lose in Nov no matter who wins!” — Reason mag’s Nick Gillespie.

The Observer

“Oh good. HuffPost Live will also be live-streaming debates. This brings the total number of news outlets covering the debates to everyone.” — TVNewser‘s Alex Weprin.

Pet Peeves

“People who break embargoes, that’s that shit I don’t like.” — Wired‘s Spencer Ackerman.

Necessary Tweet of the Day

“Fuck man I totally feel for a free Southwest Airline ticket voucher spambot thing on facebook fuck fuck fuck.” — InTheseTimes labor journo Mike Elk.

Convo Between Two Journos: MEOW

The Daily Caller‘s TV reporter Jeff Poor writes, “Question: Why is @BuzzFeed working so hard to get to the smoking gun in this video? You guys can’t wait until 9 pm? Go have dinner… Relax.” To which Politico‘s Shermanator (Jake Sherman) replies, “Yep, you mustve. when someone says publicly they have something that will make news, if u dont chase it, u should find a new job.”

ABC’s Walter involuntary spams followers

“Hello Tweeps. I am not DMing you about some sort of “bad stuff” written about you. It’s spam/hacking.” — ABC’s Amy Walter.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

Quotes of the Day

A RELAXED ROLAND: “Somebody’s tuckered out.” — Video journo Liz Glover with accompanying photograph of CNN Contributor and TV ONE’s Roland Martin.

“I’m already all shook up. In anticipation. Brand new tissue box: check.” — author Terry McMillan during the speeches last night.

A little too gushing?

“Biden is one of the best liked people in politics — on both sides. And he has earned that affection. #CNN” — CNN’s David Gergen. At a time when CNN is trying to paint MSNBC as too in love with Democrats, this was a peculiar thing to say.

Humblebrag: Rosario grabbed my Snickers!

“Hey! @rosariodawson just grabbed my last Snickers. What a great way to end the great @ABC/ @YahooNews convention coverage.” — ABC News Producer and Digital Journalist David Meyers.

The Team Player

“Partisan people on both sides seem to not like when their side gets fact-checked, but love when the other side does. CNN fact-checks both.” — CNN Piers Morgan Tonight staffer Steve Krakauer.

Do they think he stinks?

“Street vendors selling Obama air fresheners. I kid you not.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

The Speeches. Kerry. Biden. Obama.

Sen. John Kerry

“Punditry correction: predicted that Senator Kerry would flop. Was wrong.” — BuzzFeed‘s Michael Hastings.

“ROCKY IV DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE A PARTISAN PUNCH LINE. SHAME ON YOU” — a uncharacteristically dramatic HuffPost‘s Sam Stein.

“John Kerry’s speech was so good, this entire arena is fired up, ready to go avenge Apollo Creed’s death.” — NJ “The Hotline” Polling Editor Steve Shepard.

Veep Joe Biden

“There is literally no heaven.” — NY Daily News’ Josh Greenman.

“It’s about healing. And putting a bullet between the bastard’s eyes.” — David Frum.

“I think Joe Biden looks FAB in his infomercial. I also like his voice. See, I said something nice!” — Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham.

“My Dad is live-blogging Biden’s speech to me via text… Never should’ve gotten him that iPhone.” — Yahoo! News‘s Chris Moody.

“Joe Biden loves him some ‘literally’. Literally. #dnc2012″ — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

“Joe Biden is off to a really personable start with all the kiddos. snff snff” — HuffPost‘s Christina Wilkie.

President Obama

“Obama not just criticizing GOP. He is mocking them, again and again.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

“I’m not only the Hair Club president, I’m also a client.” — WaPo‘s Felicia Sonmez.

“Time for Biden to rush out shirtless in pirate garb swallowing a torch of fire.” –  TV pundit, blogger, author Craig Crawford.

“I am bored to death. #figuratively” — Reason magazine’s Nick Gillespie.

“Crowd definitely not as jazzed either. Better than in Tampa, though, where the noise died within about 30 seconds of Romney’s speech ending.” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

“Is it just me, or are the applause lines falling much flatter than I presume he intended?” — Townhall‘s Kate Hicks.

“If This doesn’t pick up soon, the obituaries are going to start flowing. I give it 10 more mins before the impression is locked.” — Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman.

“Four more beers.” Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

“Obama says he’s mindful of his own failings. I wish we could hear his honest discussion of what he could have done better.” — NYT‘s Jodi Kantor.

On another note…“Joe Biden’s daughter’s dress is AWESOME. #notapoliticalstatement” — Politico producer Leigh Munsil.

And what’s a night without a little media bashing? “Even MSNBC is looking disappointed tonight. Though they are trying to cover it up. But you can see the heartache in their eyes.” — Breitbart.com editor Jon Nolte.

The Sea Has Finally Parted

“Psst, journos: conventions are OVER. Sleep cometh soon! #DNC2012 #GOP2012 — WaPo manager of social media & engagement Natalie Jennings.

 Journo gets emotional about FLOTUS’s seating

“Not sure if I find it heartening or depressing that Michelle Obama appears to be sitting on the same hard plastic chairs the press is.” – LAT political writer Matea Gold.

A shout-out for the FGOTUS

“I love the first grandma, Mrs. Robinson seems so dope.” — Myles Miller, a political reporter.

Reporters get props from questionable character

“Wow. There is a legit meth head wandering around the press filing room thanking reporters for their work. #dnc2012″ — Business Insider political reporter Grace Wyler.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“I am on Twitter silence until POTUS speaks at 10ish. I gotta get some stuff done so I can watch and hear his every word.” — Essence and theGrio‘s Sophia Nelson.

Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

How do conservatives survive a stint on HBO’s “Real Time” with Bill Maher? First, they spell his name right.

An email circulating the story today reads, “How conservatives survive a stint on Bill Mahrer [sic].” No offense, TWT — spelling gaffes happen to the best and worst of us.

The meat of the story by Patrick Hruby is insightful. They provide a “Real Time” Survival Guide for conservatives who choose to go on the show. The gist of it: Prepare your ass off or be prepared to be embarrassed. Those quoted in the story include Reason‘s Nick Gillespie, former Rep. Rick Lazio (R-N.Y.), GBTV’s Amy Holmes, and Americans for Tax Reform President Grover Norquist.

TWT goes relatively easy Maher. They essentially write that he’s a polite potty mouth with a large staff who knows the issues.

A quote from Lazio points to a sentimental side of Maher not usually displayed on TV:

“I wouldn’t keep doing the show if people were talking over me and not letting me express my point of view,” Mr. Lazio said. “Bill doesn’t do that. The last time I was on, he came up to me afterward and said, ‘I know it’s very difficult for you and people who are more conservative to come on the show, and I just want you to know I do appreciate and respect the fact that you were willing to do this.’ Now, I don’t need to hear that. But it’s nice.”