SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” – Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

“Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

• “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.

• “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.

• “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

• “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.

• “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.

• “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… continued…

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Campaign trail transport: the golf buggy

“Oh my. Have arrived for Gingrich rally at The Villages. It’s a retirement town, main mode of transport: the golf buggy.” — The Times of London‘s Nico Hines with the accompanying photograph.

Ron Paul doesn’t want granny naked at airport

“It’s a bureaucratic monster…prodding and probing without permission. They trap us into it. There’s no way you can travel if you don’t do it. When you look at some of these pictures of probing groin areas and breast areas and old women having to take their clothes off, it doesn’t make us safe, it undermines our liberties. That is totally unacceptable in my viewpoint.” — GOP Presidential hopeful Ron Paul to CNN’s Candy Crowley Sunday.

Journo spots dusty child at museum

“Dear @airandspace museum, please vacuum under Skylab. A 3-yr-old got covered in dust crawling underneath.” — The Guardian‘s Richard Anderson.

Scribe inundated by Jon Ward

“Every time my phone blinks with new email, I momentarily think it’s a person before discovering again that it’s just a new @jonward11 story.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner in reference to HuffPost‘s Jon Ward.

Goofy humor

“Gingrich says insinuating he isn’t a true conservative is ‘goofy’ – breaking: Goofy asks Gingrich to apologize #disneyjokesbcweareinorlando.” — USA Today‘s Jackie Kucinich.

Hazy has spoken.

“Every time there is an allegation of rape or sexual assault in the press, I am further convinced that the media has no idea how handle it.” — D.C. -turned N.Y. Boybander and MSNBC host Chris Hayes.

Campaign reporter promises to glitter bomb himself

“Some people call you pornbots. I call you my base #nearing5000followers.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman. And then: “Just passed 5K. Gonna glitter bomb myself. Thanks much, y’all. We’re just getting started.”

From the Road

“There don’t seem to be any chick fil a’s on the Florida Turnpike. #dashedlunchplans” — The New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza, who later appeared to be lost when he wrote, “May have taken a wrong turn.” The accompanying picture had the big sparkling sign that read: Disney World. (The aforementioned quote is dedicated to CNN’s Matt Dornic.)

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Hitchens.

“Had pleasure of meeting Christopher Hitchens at a dinner party. He told great stories, holding the fullest glass of wine I’ve ever seen.” — NPR’s Ben Bergman, a producer for “Morning Edition” in Los Angeles.

“Hitchens, someone I greatly admired, then no longer admired, had the honor to argue w/, bitterly. All said, he lived a very big life. RIP.” — TPM Editor-in-Chief Josh Marshall.

“It’s selfish, but always dreamed of one day being the kind of person about whom Hitchens would say, ‘That guy’s all right.’” — Former White House speechwriter Jon Lovett.

“Hitch is dead. Glad I’m at a bar. I think he’d be glad his fans are at a bar.” — WCP‘s Ben Freed.

***

Regrets.

“My fat ass is wishing I still had leftovers from Matchbox… Another time I suppose.” Washington Business Journal designer Timothy Wong.

What long, boring story does Washingtonian suggest that you read on your commute home? “A #longread for your commute home: As Dulles hits 50, it’s time to look back.” See the story here.

Journo Hate Mail

“Apparently Fishbowl would rather @MichelleFields wear a burqa when reporting. Appalling post.” — The esteemed Jenny Rogers from the esteemed TBD. Read here. And yes, all clothing worn on TV generally must meet Peter Ogburn‘s standards. Jenny wrote Ogburn on Twitter, saying, “Her retweeting a compliment isn’t nearly as weird as your post was. You’re just not going to win this one.” Did someone say winning? Fields retweeted some 46 compliments about herself after a recent appearance on FNC’s “Red Eye.” Idiocy isn’t required in everyday journalism, Jenny.

From the GOP Presidential Debate…

“Ron Paul probably has no clue what the Gchat noise is from.” — NJ‘s Ethan Klapper.

“Bachmann’s eyelashes? Used to be Ron Paul’s eyebrows. #iowadebate.” — NY Mag’s John Heilemann.

“When candidates go over time, should have Gilbert Gottfried yell ‘Just shut up. Please’. I mean, he can’t be busy right? #iowadebate.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza, who scarfed down Oreos while watching last night’s debate.

“Michele Bachmann needs to fire her make-up person.” …”Lighting on Megyn Kelly is horrible.” — The Daily Caller‘s Michelle Fields, an obvious beauty expert.

“Perry just mentioned ‘getting it on’ with President Obama. Uhhh, awkward. #iowadebate.” — The Hill‘s Howiella Kurtz (a.k.a. Judy Kurtz).

“Brett Baier: And a topic that has not be raised in any of the debates so far: bestiality.” — The Daily Caller‘s Jamie Weinstein in a reference from a White House briefing Thursday in which ABC’s Jake Tapper complained about not being called on in the proper order.  Weinstein was inspired by Baier’s pre-commercial tease. He said when they come back they’d have a question yet to be brought up at any of the debates.

“Is Newt a just bit more condescending to women? Or is he an equal opportunities patroniser?” — Times of London reporter Nico Hines.

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Politico‘s Kasie Hunt is famous!

Last night she graced “The Daily Show” in a segment in which Senior Political Correspondent John Oliver grilled her about former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin‘s bus tour. Oliver was in New Hampshire late last week where many journalists, including Hunt, were covering Palin.

Politico brass may not be ecstatic that Hunt was referred to as the “lamestream media,” but this is “The Daily Show,” so we think this will slide. Oliver yammered on about the bus, mixing in double entendre about how spacious Palin’s bus was. “Are we still talking about the bus?” he asked a few times. Then he shifted to Hunt and the other journalists:”Of course the lamestream media didn’t appreciate this opportunity of a lifetime,” Oliver said. Pan to Hunt: “It’s been frustrating following her,” she told him. “There’s no addresses, there’s no itinerary, there’s no information.”

The Times of London‘s D.C. reporter Nico Hines described Palin’s contemptuous attitude toward journalists. “She’s throwing us little, little tiny crumbs,” Hines said with an English accent.

Oliver’s attentions turned to the Portsmouth Herald reporter Joey Cresta. “At the very least you’ve interviewed this bus’s biggest superfan,” Oliver said, needling him. “Interview me about the bus!” So Cresta asked, “Well what do you think about the bus?” Oliver replied, “I f–king love the bus! Question two.”

Silence.

“Are you kidding me?” an irate Oliver asked. “Is that it?” Cresta rallied: “Okay, how many psi’s are in the tires of this bus?” Oliver immediately went after him. “See? That’s just the kind of gotcha journalism that you lamestream media have become famous for.”

Oliver whacked Cresta over the head repeatedly with rolled up paper throughout his interview. Hunt, meanwhile, avoided the comedian’s abuse.

Note to Readers: There’s a challenge that didn’t make the cut. We’re looking into it.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.