Fox News weather lady lets herself eat pie and whatever else she wants

“If it’s your birthday, nothing you eat should have calories. A rule made up by me just now…after eating too much pie.” — Janice Dean, senior meteorologist for Fox News. (Guess all those rotten rumors about FNC controlling what females wear on air and how they look are completely unfounded.)

Question to never ponder: “Does anyone actually like spearmint or do we all just tolerate it?” — Mediaite editor Noah Rothman.

And something to contemplate deeply: “Is Potsie from Happy Days on Twitter? Be cool if he would follow me.” — Breitbart News‘ John Nolte.

Reporter wants to be on Homeland

“I want to be on Homeland. Sorry I’m not sorry.” — Politico‘s Juana Summers, who links to this casting call for extras for guess which show?

Ouch!

“Does her Match.com profile mention her jail time for obstructing justice and lying to government investigators?” — CNN’s Jake Tapper on Martha Stewart and Match prospects.

Journo wants free booze

“But really, if you’re in DC and you don’t go to the BuzzfeedBrews events, why? Great interview, fun times, FREE BOOZE” — Daily Beast Contributor Justin Green.

Stress on the job

“This no coffee combined with my round the clock day has me this close to clawing the drywall.” — Javonni Brustow, Washington editor of TheDCPundit.

He said what?  

“Whoa whoa whoa. We’re not done yet Brian. While we’re talking, I got a few Q’s for you.” — Breitbart’s Matthew Boyle to former NRSC spokesman Brian Walsh, who now has his own consulting firm. In the course of a lengthy late-night argument involving the Tea Party, Walsh asked Boyle, “Honestly just asking aloud if you’re playing reporter or pundit on this one my friend? The line is very blurry.” Boyle replied, “You’re really going to ask me that? Hmmm. It’s pretty obviously reporter.”

AnonymASS Tipsters of the Week: “Gee, you got to say “poop” again in your latest post. Someone ought to do a monthly count on your fascination with a word most stopped giggling about at 12.” And this: “Crappy Poop Stories Return to Fishbowl” And this: “Also at Allbritton brunch: Laura McGann, Anna Palmer, Jen Epstein, Rachel Smolkin. Don’t forget the women!”

D.C. women shall wear beige pumps

“Beige pumps are like some kind of uniform here.” — BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 5:56 a.m.

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“Dear Florida: For the sake of our mental health, please remain a swing state. Sincerely, political reporters everywhere.” — NPR White House Correspondent Ari Shapiro.

“I particularly want to apologize to Chris Matthews.  (Laughter.)  Four years ago, I gave him a thrill up his leg — (laughter) — this time around I gave him a stroke.  (Laughter.)” — President Obama at last night’s Alfred E. Smith dinner at the Waldorf Towers in Manhattan.

Sometimes journos speak in sounds

HufPost‘s Eilot Nelson: “ughhhhhhhhh”

BuzzFeed’s John Stanton: “Nuh na na na”

National Journal Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier: “!!!!!!!”

Daily Kos‘s Markos Moulitsas: “Ha ha ha ha ha! #Yankees”

Stirring the Pot

“Breitbart News will publish piece on ‘not optimal.’ Hope Dave Weigel doesn’t say something bad about us in JournOlist 2: Electric Boogaloo.” — Breitbart.com‘s John Nolte.

See more Morning Chatter and find out what’s getting Slate‘s Dave Weigel‘s goat and what has National Journal‘s Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier yearning for happier times… Also, see who is running FishbowlDC’s Fan Club this week! continued…

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A RELAXED ROLAND: “Somebody’s tuckered out.” — Video journo Liz Glover with accompanying photograph of CNN Contributor and TV ONE’s Roland Martin.

“I’m already all shook up. In anticipation. Brand new tissue box: check.” — author Terry McMillan during the speeches last night.

A little too gushing?

“Biden is one of the best liked people in politics — on both sides. And he has earned that affection. #CNN” — CNN’s David Gergen. At a time when CNN is trying to paint MSNBC as too in love with Democrats, this was a peculiar thing to say.

Humblebrag: Rosario grabbed my Snickers!

“Hey! @rosariodawson just grabbed my last Snickers. What a great way to end the great @ABC/ @YahooNews convention coverage.” — ABC News Producer and Digital Journalist David Meyers.

The Team Player

“Partisan people on both sides seem to not like when their side gets fact-checked, but love when the other side does. CNN fact-checks both.” — CNN Piers Morgan Tonight staffer Steve Krakauer.

Do they think he stinks?

“Street vendors selling Obama air fresheners. I kid you not.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

The Speeches. Kerry. Biden. Obama.

Sen. John Kerry

“Punditry correction: predicted that Senator Kerry would flop. Was wrong.” — BuzzFeed‘s Michael Hastings.

“ROCKY IV DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE A PARTISAN PUNCH LINE. SHAME ON YOU” — a uncharacteristically dramatic HuffPost‘s Sam Stein.

“John Kerry’s speech was so good, this entire arena is fired up, ready to go avenge Apollo Creed’s death.” — NJ “The Hotline” Polling Editor Steve Shepard.

Veep Joe Biden

“There is literally no heaven.” — NY Daily News’ Josh Greenman.

“It’s about healing. And putting a bullet between the bastard’s eyes.” — David Frum.

“I think Joe Biden looks FAB in his infomercial. I also like his voice. See, I said something nice!” — Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham.

“My Dad is live-blogging Biden’s speech to me via text… Never should’ve gotten him that iPhone.” — Yahoo! News‘s Chris Moody.

“Joe Biden loves him some ‘literally’. Literally. #dnc2012″ — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

“Joe Biden is off to a really personable start with all the kiddos. snff snff” — HuffPost‘s Christina Wilkie.

President Obama

“Obama not just criticizing GOP. He is mocking them, again and again.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

“I’m not only the Hair Club president, I’m also a client.” — WaPo‘s Felicia Sonmez.

“Time for Biden to rush out shirtless in pirate garb swallowing a torch of fire.” –  TV pundit, blogger, author Craig Crawford.

“I am bored to death. #figuratively” — Reason magazine’s Nick Gillespie.

“Crowd definitely not as jazzed either. Better than in Tampa, though, where the noise died within about 30 seconds of Romney’s speech ending.” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

“Is it just me, or are the applause lines falling much flatter than I presume he intended?” — Townhall‘s Kate Hicks.

“If This doesn’t pick up soon, the obituaries are going to start flowing. I give it 10 more mins before the impression is locked.” — Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman.

“Four more beers.” Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

“Obama says he’s mindful of his own failings. I wish we could hear his honest discussion of what he could have done better.” — NYT‘s Jodi Kantor.

On another note…“Joe Biden’s daughter’s dress is AWESOME. #notapoliticalstatement” — Politico producer Leigh Munsil.

And what’s a night without a little media bashing? “Even MSNBC is looking disappointed tonight. Though they are trying to cover it up. But you can see the heartache in their eyes.” — Breitbart.com editor Jon Nolte.

The Sea Has Finally Parted

“Psst, journos: conventions are OVER. Sleep cometh soon! #DNC2012 #GOP2012 — WaPo manager of social media & engagement Natalie Jennings.

 Journo gets emotional about FLOTUS’s seating

“Not sure if I find it heartening or depressing that Michelle Obama appears to be sitting on the same hard plastic chairs the press is.” – LAT political writer Matea Gold.

A shout-out for the FGOTUS

“I love the first grandma, Mrs. Robinson seems so dope.” — Myles Miller, a political reporter.

Reporters get props from questionable character

“Wow. There is a legit meth head wandering around the press filing room thanking reporters for their work. #dnc2012″ — Business Insider political reporter Grace Wyler.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“I am on Twitter silence until POTUS speaks at 10ish. I gotta get some stuff done so I can watch and hear his every word.” — Essence and theGrio‘s Sophia Nelson.

Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

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Journo Love

“@NorahODonnell Norah! You are a rock star LOVED working with YOU! Killer blue eyes, nice & best of all SMART.. See you at the next thing.” — CBS’s Gayle King to Chief White House Correspondent Norah O’Donnell.

Cabbie wants to take journo to whore house

“Man, that cabbie was really making the hard sell on taking me to a brothel. Just trying to get a G-rated dinner, my man.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman in Reno.

Convo Between Two Journos

“Finding Holmes’s Joker-colored hair really disconcerting.” — WaPo‘s Aaron Blake. Slate‘s Dave Weigel corrects him, saying, “Not Joker-colored! Joker’s hair is green.” Thanks Weigel!

Actor Adrian Grenier: “You want my vote @BarackObama? Start talking about climate change. Want to heal the economy? Talk jobs of the future.”

Important Question to Ponder: “Do the waitresses in Boston’s North End call everybody ‘hon’ or am I special?” — NYT‘s Mark Leibovich.

Dear Paterno Family…

“Dear Paterno family, please stop issuing panicky, nutty statements.” — HuffPost‘s Jason Cherkis.

Chris Hayes has an inflated sense of self-worth?

“A little perspective would inform Hayes’ inflated sense of self-worth, particularly when he attempts to demean the notable careers of others.” — Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman emoting about a TPM story on MSNBC’s Chris Hayes in which Hayes praised MSNBC (of course) and slammed FNC Prez Roger Ailes as unseasoned. As we remarked on Twitter Monday, watch out Noah. Your colleague Tommy Christopher (chairman of The I Love Chris Hayes Foundation) may have your head for this.

Be glad you’re not this man’s ex-boss

“Police: Man Stopped For Speeding Was Going To Kill Former Employer.” — WUSA9. See here.

Used to?

“I used to get squeamish at the sight of blood.” — Sam Husseini of the Institute for Public Accuracy and writer for dcstakeout.com.

Journo hate mail

“Mr. W. Blitzer is the most annoying of all T.V. presenters. He mostly likes to talk about himself. reminding us at nauseum how many presidents and other important persons he has interviewed. It is getting so boring that my husband and I are watching the BBC. — FBDC commenter Ursula Huggins-Whitney. Ouch, Urusula.

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What do you think of the name Stark Raving Meghan for her new web series? And while we’re at it, what do you think of her knocking Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart this week?

I don’t hate myself, so I didn’t watch Stark Raving Meghan, and I never will. There’s only so many times I can hear “’n stuff” and “like, totally” before I vomit, and I don’t want to vomit that many times in 5 minutes. As for her swipes at Breitbart and Malkin, I think Mediaite did a good job of pointing out what a hypocritical weenie she is. I’m talking about Noah Rothman‘s piece, not what the alleged Tommy Christopher wrote. He behaved like a bigger boob than the mounds upon which Meghan’s chin rests when she’s got her “thinkin’ cap” on.

What do you think about CNN’s Wolf Blitzer leveling The Donald? Were you surprised he had it in him?

Every once in a while Wolf reverts back to being a real journalist. It’s not often, he’s not due again till October, but when he does he reminds viewers why they used to know who he was. It causes flashbacks to the first Gulf War and Wolf reporting from the Pentagon with the latest book on whatever point he was trying to make on the shelf over his shoulder.

Imagine you’re The Daily Caller‘s Michelle Fields and she’s sitting in the hair and makeup chair at Fox News. What do you think she asks them to do in terms of primping and preening?

Answering this caused my head to hurt. I bet that no matter what they do, she has them do it from the side or back so as to not obstruct her view of the mirror. And she probably touches up their work when they’re done. I suspect her last move in the mirror is to do that thing chicks do because they think it makes their boobs look bigger. You know, that thing where they lift them up and smash them together. There has to be a name for that…and a few billion fetish websites.

Is John Edwards one lucky bastard or what?

You misspelled sleazebag. It makes sense that he’d get off, that’s what got him in the mess in the first place. Sure, they could retry him on the charges the jury was hung on, but what’s the point? It’s only a matter of time before he has his own show on Current TV, and given the humiliation of being associated with Current TV, that should be punishment enough.

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Let’s recap, shall we?

Thursday May 24, 2012: Meghan appears on MSNBC’s Al Sharpton‘s program and maligns both conservative commentator Michelle Malkin and the late Andrew Breitbart. She says they “exacerbate people’s fears.” Breitbart is dead, but don’t let that detract from the importance of her point.

That same day, Mediaite‘s sharp-tongued Frances Martel writes a recap of the program, specifically pointing to the inappropriateness of McCain conjuring up the deceased Breitbart at a time like this.

Friday May 25, 2012: Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman, labeled as the site’s resident conservative, insists McCain is no victim. Rothman details all the Republicans McCain has publicly slashed: Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren for bringing Lindsay Lohan to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich, wife, Callista, and another GOP hopeful Rick Santorum to name a few.

Mediaite’s Frances Martel and Noah Rothman

At this point Mediaite‘s resident liberal and White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher takes to Twitter to defend Meghan, calling Noah’s piece “garbage.” Abrams chimes in, “Is it sadistic that I kind of love that @mediaite’s @tommyxtopher is taking on @mediaite’s @noah_c_rothman on twitter?” (Coming up: Abrams will report on his own apparently hilarious tweet.)

Saturday May 26, 2012: This was a big day. Meghan publishes a column in the Beast at 4:45 a.m. entitled “Cut it out Internet Bullies!” in which she emotes about the Republican Party treating her “like a freak.” The column was in response to her appearance on Sharpton’s show and details the many piercing insults she received which included “fat pig” and a suggestion that she kill herself with a cocktail of pills and booze.

By far the grandest part of the day arrives at 7:29 p.m. because that’s when Abrams of Dan Abrams’ Mediaite (oh, please don’t get mad at me for writing that!) decided to get all up in McCain’s well-moisturized face and tell her what’s what. Abrams, also well moisturized, was irate that McCain dared to refer to Mediaite as “Dan Abrams’ Mediaite” in her “Bullies” column. Whoa! How insulting. He insists anyone who’s anyone knows he doesn’t do jack for the site on a daily basis. In fact, his uninvolvement is palpable: “It’s well known that I do not edit the site,” he wrote, explaining that it’s insulting to his writers on his site to suggest as much. To exact revenge for her daring to give him ownership of his own site (that he owns), he said he purposely demeaned her by calling her “John McCain’s daughter Meghan.” Daughter of a Senator. Former Presidential hopeful. Tortured Vietnam vet. The horror. With Memorial Day coming up, this was, to say the least, touching. Abrams also provided a roundup of what happened so people reading this saga for the 5000th time could understand what was happening.

Monday May 28, 2012: By no means was the long weekend over. On Monday night at 7:26 p.m. we were treated to yet another roundup from Christopher, who challenged his boss, — um, Abrams? — by once again defending McCain. Headline: “McCain is not a ‘bully’ who ‘looks for fights.’” He also touches on Breitbart and declares that he’s 100 percent certain that if he was alive he would not have responded to McCain by calling her a “fat, clueless, whore.” We’re 100 percent certain Breitbart would’ve liked that line. Christopher’s piece takes on fairytale tones as he declares the young maiden McCain a “beautiful young woman” and calls that a “fact.” If nothing else in all this is clear, it’s this: Christopher will defend McCain to his dying day. Think sword fights and armor. Cannons. Buckets of PETA blood. Whatever it takes. Christopher, who likes to personalize his pieces, remarked that McCain’s body issues strike personal chords within him.  He doesn’t say what — and yes, are we dying to know, does it remind him of his once gangrene-laden liver? — but he says it’s especially personal to him.

“What makes this especially personal for me, though, and one of the reasons I’ve admired Meg since long before we became friends, is that the kind of attacks that Meg has had to endure also promote ideas about body image that are tangibly harmful to girls and young women. Meg’s defiance in the face of these assaults strikes a blow for them, and the example she sets is more valuable than any 10 cable news talking heads.”

And this concludes Mediaite‘s Memorial Day 2012. Now how about those trust exercises?

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