Style guru Paul Wharton never ceases to amaze. Tonight he’s hosting a holiday window unveiling at Macy’s Metro Center that will feature Destiny’s Child’s  Michelle Williams, teen pop star Jasmine Villegas (formerly romantically linked to Justin Bieber), former Redskins running back Clinton Portis, and Track and Field medalist LaShawn Merritt. Santa will also be on hand.

The event starts… continued…

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On Thursday, we began rolling out the results of our Summer Superlatives and today, you get to meet the rest of the winners. Thanks for voting.

Today’s results kicks off with the Best Dressed category. This cage match was between Politico’s Ken Vogel and Kate Nocerra, WaPo’s Jonathan Capehart, RCP’s Erin McPike, and CNN’s Kate Balduan. This contest wasn’t even close. While we had a feeling Capehart would be the clear winner, he was a very distant second to Kate Balduan! Congrats, Kate. Your prize is a $1 gift card to Fashion Bug!

Moving right along, we asked you to name Washington’s Best Writer. Your choices were The Weekly Standard’s Matt Labash, The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza, NJ’s Major Garrett, NYT’s Mark Leibovich, Ashley Parker and Maureen Dowd, WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty, HuffPost’s Eliot Nelson, and Washingtonian’s Luke Mullins. This one was a close one to call. It was a two-man race between Garrett and Labash, but in the end, Major Garrett came through and was voted the winner. It should be noted that today is Garrett’s birthday.

Which Washington journo is Most In Need of a Salad? We asked you to choose between Politico’s Jonathan Allen and Jonathan Martin, Slate‘s Dave Weigel, HuffPost’s Peter Cherukuri and Jason Linkins, FNC’s Bob Beckel and Bret Baier, and author and former TWTer Rich Miniter. This was another category where it wasn’t even close. The FNC team of Bob Beckel and Bret Baier were the heavy favorites and waddled walked their way to an easy victory.

Next up, we had the category that saw more votes than any other, Sexiest. Your sultry selections were AP‘s Steve Peoples, Atlantic Publisher Justin Smith, Washingtonian‘s Kate Bennett, Real Housewives of D.C.’s sassy stylist Paul Wharton, CNN’s Brianna Keilar, NBC4′s Doug Kammerer and Maynard Institute’s Richard Prince. The winner by a slim, sexy (and consenting) majority was Brianna Keilar.

On the other side of the coin, we have Who is Most In Need of a Makeover? Your choices were CQ Roll Call (the entire publication), The Daily Caller’s Matthew Boyle, TWT’s Stephen Dinan, Publicist Wendy Gordon, DCRTV’s Dave Hughes and Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher. Once again, this was a two-man race between Christopher and Boyle. While Christopher just looks generally disheveled, the overall train wreck that is Matthew Boyle was voted the winner. Congrats, Matt. We hear that Paul Wharton may be available to help turn you into a beautiful swan.

Last, but certainly not least, is the Best On-Air Personality. The heavy-hitters on this list were ABC’s Jake Tapper, The Daily Caller’s Tucker Carlson, MSNBC’s Chuck Todd, CBS’s Bob Schieffer and Nancy Cordes, HuffPost‘s Sam Stein, and WaPo’s Nia-Malika Henderson. At the end of the day, the experience of Schieffer couldn’t keep up with your winner, Jake Tapper!

Congratulations to all of our winners.

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But, I was wrong.

Wharton is helping to promote CrimePush Security, a new app for iPhone and Android that describes itself as “a revolutionary crime reporting and public safety application unveiled a number of new features designed to keep citizens and students safe.” With a name like “CrimePush”, it sounds like the least fun sexual position ever created.

How does it work? The app allows the smartphone user to report crimes directly to law enforcement officials with the touch of a button. If you see someone trying to break into a car, just use CrimePush. If you see someone holding up a gas station, just use CrimePush. If you see someone wearing suspenders AND a belt, don’t use CrimePush. They don’t handle crimes of fashion. You’ll need Wharton for that.

You can learn about the many new features and where to find the app at www.crimepush.com. In the meantime, Wharton, without even being asked, assures us, “Yes, I am getting a skintight Superman costume and a fresh blow out.”

We would expect nothing less.

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Yesha’s first few tweets of the day seem to focus on semen. If that bothers you, then read no further, because we are about to submerge ourselves in baby batter. Yesha tweets, “I swear women need to stop swallowing all willy nilly & for recreation…got men out here expecting it from other women like it’s a given.”

Wait. Where the hell are all the women who are “swallowing all willy nilly”??? Is that REALLY a rampant problem? Yesha continues, “My best guy friend from hs….apparently told me that it’s expected from anyone he dates.” It’s EXPECTED???  We hate to go all Penthouse Forum here, but if you find someone who loves sack sauce THAT much, you may have just found marriage material.

Callahan isn’t done shooting her load quite yet. She tweets, “I posted the article abt the semen cupcake on fb…here’s Carla’s sister ‘where can I get one of those?’ Grosd.” A semen cupcake? We must have missed that recipe on the latest episode of Paul Wharton’s TV show.

Editor’s note: Stay tuned for more episodes of “What’s Yesha Tweeting?” In the meantime, Peter is gargling with Purel.

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After getting his workout in, Paul heads to the wilds of Virginia for a wine tasting. If there is a common thread that ties together each episode, it’s Paul’s love of booze. Hardly a move gets made without him looking for an excuse to crack open a bottle. The owner of Paradise Springs Winery barely gets the phrase “wine tastings” out of his mouth before Paul perks up and demands a tasting for himself. The nice man tries to educate Paul on the complexities of their wine and Wharton LITERALLY points the bottom of the glass at the ceiling and drains the glass of wine. And he doesn’t stop. There are several scenes of Paul draining glass after glass after glass. As he drinks, his catchphrase is “Down the hatchie.” After about five or six glasses of wine, Paul is clearly drunk. He’s snapping his fingers and dancing and telling people he loves them. While we like Paul, he is a cheap date.

Now that he’s all liquored up, it’s time for food. Paul takes the party to Rogue 24, the restaurant from Chef R.J. Cooper. Paul is sitting in the bar area sucking down even more booze when Cooper meets him and tries to teach him about some of his molecular gastronomy creations in his specially designed kitchen. They spend some time assembling a dish featuring a foam of champagne, squid ink crackers and sea urchins. Shockingly, the name of the dish isn’t sea urchins with squid ink and champagne foam. It’s called “The Ocean Floor Looking Out from the Beach in Santa Barbara.” (There is no way that I could make up some bullshit like that and expect you to believe it.) Noteworthy: Paul is sipping a cocktail this whole time. We are drunk just watching him.

Luckily, the next stop is to get some help at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting a bar! He drops into The Passenger to enjoy a “drink or three.” Paul says he loves to get his “cocktail on.” He gets a drink with lime juice, whiskey and soda called “The Rickey.” It sounds delicious. Paul inhales and immediately moves on to another drink called “The Love Letters” made with rum and ginger beer. Paul declares this to be “his drink.” And then it’s on to ANOTHER drink. It’s a lavender punch made with gin. We are almost certain that we can SEE Paul’s breath on the TV screen.

Of all the “Paul Wharton Style” episodes… continued…

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After Paul gets his look right, he ventures off to sit down with another one of the ladies from “The Real Housewives of Bullshit County” or whatever the show is called. This time, it was Alex McCord, who was recently booted off the show.

Out of the blue, Wharton asks McCord to cook for him. The two of them then float into the kitchen to make a shrimp and veggie stir fry. The highlight of the show, HANDS DOWN, was the moment when McCord tosses some veggies into the hot oil. Some oils splashes and Wharton shrieked and covered his beautiful hair the way a soldier in the trenches of WWII cover their heads. We’ve seen Olympic sprinters who move slower than Paul trying to protect those locks.

Wharton then moves on to Ryan Serhant, who is the host of Million Dollar Listing. (I don’t know who he is, either.) They are viewing a penthouse apartment in NYC that is going on the market for $8 million. Paul recoils and says he can’t afford it. “Do you know how many makeovers I would have to do for 8 million dollars?! A LOTTA ugly women.” continued…

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Cut to the evening of the party where Paul says, ”I was right on time..  If my party started two hours late.” It looked to be an exciting time and everyone was having fun. And then Paul’s “best friend”, Omaraso Manigault, from “The Apprentice,” showed up. We’re sure the cameras missed the eye rolls of party-goers when they saw one of TV’s greatest villains walk into the room. It was hard to tell who was wearing more makeup: Paul or Omarosa. (But, I can tell you who wore it better – Wharton Whins.)

All-in-all, the party seemed like a success. Mini-banana cream pies were passed around the party because it’s his favorite dessert. It’s not terribly surprising that a dessert featuring bananas and cream is favored by one of Washington’s more flamboyant entertainers. Partiers were entertained by 10 flat-screen televisions with the face of Paul Wharton on each one.

After a commercial break, we meet Paul in New York City where he sits down with ABC “The View’s” Sherri Shepherd. Paul talks to her about how she remains starstruck by Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg. Shepherd is a big bore. More importantly, any second that the camera is off Wharton, we start to hate the show. Wharton is the high-octane jet fuel that rockets the program forward. Keep the camera on Wharton.

While Paul is on his NYC getaway, he drops by Sadie’s Kitchen, a restaurant run by friends. Paul heard they make the best mac and cheese on the East Coast, so Paul wants a taste. The next scene is Paul pounding on the table shouting for Grandma and mac and cheese. We’ve heard of acid flashbacks, but never mac flashbacks. Wharton is served two versions of mac and cheese that declares that it might be the best he’s ever had. He then bellows, “MAC AND CHEESE FOREVER!!!!” as the show comes to a close.

We are being 100 percent un-ironic when we say that “Paul Wharton Style” is one of the most entertaining shows on TV. You should be watching this. If we had one criticism of the show this week, it’s that we didn’t get enough Paul. It was way too much of boring Sherri Shepherd. Any moment that Paul isn’t on the screen, we start getting itchy and anxious for his return.

A piece of unsolicited advice? Keep the Paul in Paul Wharton Style.

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First impressions – This Paul Wharton lady is kind of hot. Whoever her stylist is should be commended.

Second impressions – Betsy is now telling me that Paul Wharton is a man and this just got weird.

Moving on to the production, the show struggles to hide its lo-fi production qualities. The first 10 minutes is practically a commercial for the Turnberry Towers, which is the setting for Wharton’s gabfest. He enters his suite and is met by the “Glam Squad” that teases his tresses and preps him to meet his guests, which are some of the members of the Real Housewives cast. And that’s where he loses me. This MENSA meeting gaggle of goons gather around to to gab about quantum physics, the duality of man and sustainable farming. Just kidding. They talk about hair and makeup. One of the Housewives reveals that she is in the middle of a divorce. The amount of alcohol consumed over the course of the show is slightly concerning. As they nibble on the world’s tiniest plates of food, Wharton declares that his diet is this simple. “I eat like a 5-year-old!” There’s no real explanation of that statement, so we can only assume that he eats fistfuls of goldfish and chocolate cookies and drops 70 percent of his food on the floor. That must explain his slender physique.

We reached out to Wharton to get his impression on the first show. He told FBDC, “Loved it! I would’ve liked to have gotten more personal and candid, they are classy ladies and I respect them. F’n chivalry ”

Considering our low, non-existent expectations, we were blown away by the energy of Wharton. The man is an whirlwind of guffaws and feathered hair. Combine that with the train wreck aspect of the whole production and we may have an instant classic on our hands.

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EIC Karen Sommer Shalett and Publisher Peter Abrahams

The top floor and roof of PNC Place were transformed into a uber-chic lounge last Thursday evening for the fifth anniversary of DC magazine.  Guests such as big-deal businessman and Washington Kastles owner Mark Ein, reality stars Rich and Mary Amons and several folks from the Obama Administration joined DC EIC Karen Sommer Shalett and Publisher Peter Abrahams for scenic views, hip tunes, culinary treats by Ridgewells  and a variety of wet bars (FishbowlDC remembers the Jack Daniels and Kettle One bars but everything beyond that is kind of a blur). 

On hand to celebrate were the new owners of the mag’s parent company, Modern Luxury.  Representing Dickey Publishing and Cumulus Broadcasting (the second largest broadcaster in the country) were the company’s president, Michael Dickey and Beth Weitzman, the organization’s Vice President of Editorial.   Media-types spotted include Real Housewives of DC’s Paul Wharton, Politico’s Kiki Ryan, CBS’s Christine Delargy, Tim Burger, Kelly DiNardo and Rosen Group VP Zachary Hooper. 

DC contributor and author Kelly DiNardo and Christina Sevilla

* Photo of the DC team after the jump.

continued…

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Droves of journalists swarmed National Harbor last night for the media preview of Cirque du Soleil’s traveling spectacle, “Ovo.” Reporters from nearly every Washington news outlet were in attendance to indulge in complimentary pop, popcorn and one of the finest Cirque performances this blogger has ever seen.

Under the grand chapiteau FishbowlDC spotted WaPo’s Vicky Hallet, Michael O’Sullivan and Nelson Pressley, WTOP’s Richard Day, Washington Life’s John Arundel and Michael Clements, Fox 5′s Steve Chenevey (who was also spotted at Lady Gaga on Tuesday), WBJ’s Missy Frederick, Washingtonian’s Sophie Gilbert, CBS Radio’s Guy Lambert, Hot 99.5′s Samy K (also at Gaga on Tues), HuffPo’s Stephanie Green, CNN’s Padma Rama, Pamela’s Punch’s Pamela Sorensen, TBD’s Maura Judkis and the Examiner’s Nikki Schwab.

And these days you can’t shake a stick without hitting a few reality stars. Last night our stick hit Blonde Charity Mafia’s Katherine Kennedy, as well as Real Housewives of DC stars Lynda Erkiletian, Paul Wharton and Ebong Eka (all sans camera).

Cirque’s Ovo runs at National Harbor until October 24, 2010. It truly is a wonderful show and in my humble opinion, a much more robust experience than seeing a performance in Vegas. It’s worth every penny and the pilgrimage to PG County.

For more info and tickets, click here.

Another photo of the show after the jump.

continued…

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DJ Lady Bunny crankin’ the tunes.

Publisher Peter Abrahams modeling a chair.

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“What’s important is the access we have…like the private events at people’s homes that Politico Click and other bloggers are not going to get into – or maybe it’s just too high end for them,” he said.

That said, Clements says the show is a “pilot” the publication hopes to make weekly come spring. “We’re having fun with it. Nothing too serious. Well, I mean, for example, we run some pictures of the Salahis, so we did a quick 30 seconds. We just ran the photos. We didn’t ask if it’s a security breach, did they crash or didn’t they crash. Just here are the photos, enjoy type of thing.”

Hosts will air segments with socialite Pamela Sorenson on best dressed and Paul Wharton on fashion events. There won’t, however, be in-studio sit-down interviews.

Clements thinks that can be a big bore. “I’m not really a fan of the sit-down interview,” he said. “I think it slows it down. Our model is really E!, the Ryan Seacrest kind of show.”

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If there was any doubt that Michaele Salahi & Mary Barth are part of the Real Housewives phenom, there shouldn’t be now. The two will be co-hosting a birthday bash with Omarosa for TV fashion guru/host Paul Wharton tonight. Notice the “notice” at the bottom of the invite:

The event will be filmed for national television broadcast.

Wharton hung with Salahi at the Fall Polo Classic last month when FishbowlDC first spotted her avec camera crew. Seems like PW may have a role in this reality gig too.

Amy A and Roxy R at Reliable Source have more on the current cast here.

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