R-E-S-P-E-C-T: “On a certain street in Cambridge, MA. (And yes, I respected their wishes.)” — CNN’s Jake Tapper.

Chelsea Handler says WHCD is a sure thing

“It’s very easy to get invited to that thing, by the way.” — E! late night talk show host Chelsea Handler on her show last night of the WHCD. She has attended the dinner in previous years.

Women pooping at work

“How did I miss this groundbreaking piece on the last great obstacle facing woman at work: finding a place to poop.” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein, who links to The Daily Beast story. Tim Miller, executive director of the America Rising PAC, responds, “Isn’t it easier for women to poop on the sly? Unlike men they don’t have to deal with the shame of choosing stall over urinal.” And HuffPost‘s Jon Ward tells them both, “Just stop.”

Convo Between Two Journos

Today we have Reuters’ Jack Shafer and Reuters Op-ed Editor James Ledbetter. Clearly these two don’t believe in walking down the hallway to talk to each other.

Ledbetter: “You’re awfully ornery for a guy with no column ideas.”

Shafer: “Rejecting yr bad ideas does not equal having no ideas.”

Ledbetter: “And yet you have presented none.”

The Observer

“Whoever this homeless lady is talkin to she is PISSED at them. Too bad they’re not on the bus to hear her mutterings.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

Birthday shoutouts to…Sam Youngman, formerly of Reuters, and Daily Caller TV reporter Jeff Poor, whose birthday was yesterday.

Politico Playbook publish time: 8:19 a.m.

A fellow’s ‘stupid’ assumption

“I stupidly assume when someone gets assigned a beat to write about they have some knowledge of it. obviously not.” — Media Matters fellow Oliver Willis, who wasn’t done quite yet. He added: “Re: my complaining about media writers. A lot of political reporters don’t understand politics either. Saw it in 2012 campaign writing.”

Jonah Goldberg: The Stylist

“Hey @greggutfeld you need collar stays.” — NationalReviewOnline‘s Jonah Goldberg to Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Political reporter  Sam Youngman has left his job at Reuters or parted ways with the company (however you want to put it). No word on where he’ll land next, but we’re sure it’ll be something interesting.

“Goodbyes are always weird,” Youngman told FishbowlDC this afternoon. “Some awesome, hard-working folks in that newsroom. But I’m excited to be a little more me. So for now, second star to the right and straight on ’til morning.”

Youngman left his job as a White House Correspondent for The Hill in November of 2011 to go to work as a campaign reporter for Reuters.

Folks, Friday was my last day with Reuters. Aside from a lot of golf, not sure what’s next. But I’ll keep y’all posted

— Sam Youngman (@samyoungman) April 29, 2013

He soon added guidance:

Goodness. I’m touched by all the kind words. Save some of it for my birthday tomorrow.

— Sam Youngman (@samyoungman) April 29, 2013

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Today, it’s Reuters‘ Sam Youngman. Youngman makes no bones about his allegiance to the Wildcats of the University of Kentucky. While their basketball team typically dominates, they had a bit of a rough year. Their best player from last season, Anthony Davis, now plays for the New Orleans Hornets in the NBA. So, when Marty asks Youngman what he thought of Louisville winning the National Championship, Sam bristled. He tweeted, “Marty, you trolling me, buddy? I thought it proved there is some weird deal where God and Satan alternate who will win each year.” Once that door is open with Marty, there is no closing it. He will continue to pepper you with questions, as Youngman found out.

Let’s talk hoops. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS: “Rush Limbaugh with a porn-stache will save your Tuesday afternoon.” — BuzzFeed’s Bennie Johnson. 

Weinermania

This morning at 5 a.m. the NYT Magazine’s big blockbuster story on ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner and wife Huma Abedin broke. Read it here.

“Just spitballing here but why not Weiner v McConnell? Don’t let this opp pass you by DSCC.” — Executive Director of America Rising PAC Tim Miller, former aide to presidential hopeful Jon Huntsman and GOP flak.

“Weiner Wants Back In The Game- why can’t disgraced politicians find a different job?” — tennis star Martina Navratilova.

“Long read, but Weiner’s diagnosis of himself regarding his behavior could apply to many elected officials.” — NBC’s Chuck Todd.

“Will Weiner Rise Again?” — Drudge.

“Why is Weiner not wearing shoes and socks in NYT picture? Cmon man!” — Politico‘s Ben White.

Autocorrect War Stories

“Autocorrect: When ‘free cone day’ turned into ‘free clone day.’ Where do I sign??” — National Journal‘s Brian Fung.

“My spell-checker just suggested I replace ‘Coburn’ with ‘corncob.’ Not doing it, but you have to wonder.” — Daily Mail U.S. Political Editor David Martosko in regard to Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.).

WTF Central

“It’s weird how by typing these few words I can ruin your whole day: La la la la la, la la, these little lies. La la la la la, la la, these.” — Slate and NYT‘s Farhad Manjoo.

Bald dudes: Don’t let this happen to you

“Fuck I really should have put some suntan lotion in my bald spot #soooooburned.” — Mike Elk.

ABC’s Stephanopoulos plugs wife’s TV appearance

“Proud hubby time: Check out Ali on The View today.” — ABC GMA and “This Week” host George Stephanopoulos.

Something to look forward to?

“@KevinWGlass Remind me to schedule a beatdown for your ass when I’m in DC in May” — Jazz Shaw, weekend editor at Hot Air in reference to Townhall Managing Editor Kevin Glass.

Important question to consider and an interesting open invitation… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Sequester ruins FOB’s son’s summer plans

“DoD just cancelled a summer intern program my son was going to apply to. #sequester. …And my friend’s son was just told his Capitol Hill internship would now be unpaid.” — Steve Rattner, MSNBC “Morning Joe” Contributor and former head of Obama Auto Task Force.

Journo smells pot outside the office

“Group of couriers congregating outside my office smell strongly of weed. It’s Monday afternoon guys. Save some for the weekend.” — The Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

A Metro rider did what?

“Delays on Red Line b/c a rider threw two suitcases onto the tracks.” — Washington Examiner Transportation Reporter Liz Essley.

Best Washington reaction to a national story

“This reminds me: if you left your penis in the 3rd floor men’s room@thewatergate this afternoon, pls call Lee Mayer.” — The Atlantic magazine Editor Scott Stossel in reaction to this story in HuffPost Business about an Orlando man who got his penis chopped off at work.

D–king around with JD

“When you put dishes on which you’ve eaten eggs in the dishwasher it makes the lot smell like wet dog when the cycle is done. #newsyoucanuse” — CBS Political Director John Dickerson.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 8:10 a.m.

Thayer admits he’s a “Twitter Virgin”

“I’ve spent a few years as a journo, but am a Twitter virgin. Forgive me in advance #mucked up.” — Freelancer Nate Thayer, who freaked out on The Atlantic when they asked him to write for free and for the great exposure. Follow him, by the way, at

Reporter envisions a Rome where Snoop Lion is Pope

“If the white smoke just keeps pouring out of there, we will know to congratulate Pope Snoop Lion I” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

Blogger Confessional

“Appreciate: readers offering corrections. Don’t appreciate: people being assholes about it.” — Dave Brown, Contributor to Yahoo! Sports‘ Big League Stew.

Congratulations to Jason Roe for…his political consulting firm, REVOLVIS,  opening a new San Diego office in the heart of the Gaslamp District, just 2 blocks from City Hall. In addition to San Diego, REVOLVIS has offices in Sacramento, Seattle, and Washington, D.C.

They met in a bar…

In this week’s “Hill Navigator,” Roll Call‘s advice column, they address the topic of finding love across the aisle. In one instance, a woman meets a “handsome man” at a Capitol Hill bar, but later learns he works for a member she hates. The advice? Hey, many of us have worked for horrible people: “I think the term for these kinds of experiences is character building.” Read the full column here.

8 Words We Never Thought We’d See: “The Bachelor is on HuffPost Live right now.”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Writer dude raves about House chicken tenders

“Dude, House side chicken tenders crush Senate side any day. and more choice of dipping sauces.” — HuffPost‘s Jon Ward.

The Snowstorm That Wasn’t.

“DC such a train wreck of dysfunction even snow wants no part of it.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

“The Post should replace their weather gang with a drunken nearsighted lemur.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“DC meteorologists – the Karl Roves of weather prediction. #snowquester” — Rep. Cory Gardner (R-Colo.).

“As a friendly DC flack told me today, ‘this town could use a blizzard.’” — CNN’s Jim Acosta.

“Well in case the world gets snowed in tomorrow—which it won’t—I’m glad I had the foresight to buy myself fresh hydrangeas.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner.

“This is incredibly fucking dumb. I can’t believe how freaked out DC is about this “snowstorm” #MassholeTweets” — BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray who links to this story from Politico on the House’s plan to gavel out Wednesday afternoon.

Premature prediction: “As of tomorrow, DC will only be a faint memory, an echo of forgotten power buried under a shroud of white death.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I’d be more impressed with this snowstorm, which has already shut down the government, if the snow would actually stick to the ground.” — The Atlantic‘s Jeffrey Goldberg.

“The people in my feed acting smug about the awfulness of the term ‘snowquester’ are becoming FAR more annoying than the term ‘snowquester.’” — Ben Harris, Rockville-based communications professional.

“Washington deals with snow about as well as it deals with everything else.” — Reason‘s Peter Suderman.

Late-night Bad Girls Club

MSNBC’s Touré: “Now that the Menendez story has blown up in a very embarrassing way, no one ever need take the Daily Caller seriously. Not that anyone did.”

Daily Caller‘s Jeff Poor: “Dear @Toure: You should put the J.Crew catalog down and catch up on the latest on the Daily Caller-Menendez story before popping off. Thx.”

(“Popping off” is a phrase often heard on “Bad Girls Club,” as noted by trusted Bad Girls Club expert and FBDC writer Eddie Scarry.)

Journo wasn’t allowed to lunch with Lanny Davis

“Lanny Davis once invited me out to lunch after I wrote a critical piece on him but my editor wouldn’t let me go.” — InTheseTimes labor journo Mike Elk at the Lanny Davis book party last night at The Hamilton.

Vietor picks on Stephanopoulos

After ABC “This Week” and GMA host George Stephanopoulos welcomed former White House aide Tommy Vietor to Twitter this morning, Vietor replied, “Thanks! We’d like to know when you sleep since you host every show on ABC except Dancing with the Stars (next season??)”

Gawker finds a terrible, fruity headline.

The Traveler

“Flying to Winnipeg this snowy morning” — conservative writer David Frum.

Have you been Marty’d? See Marty’s reaction to our profile on him and watch WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten make fun of the humblebrag… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

From the Dept. of Bragiculture…

“WE BEAT GAWKER BY 25 MIN ON BANGS STORY!” — WaPo‘s Reliable Source on finally getting a story within spitting distance of another gossip outlet. The item concerned first lady Michelle Obama’s new hairstyle, which involves bangs.

The Media Observer

“Favorite line from inaug committee warning abt Metro: ‘You will have to stand in close proximity to several thousand people’” — NYT‘s Washington Deputy Bureau Chief Carl Hulse.

Editor wants Christian Mingle to leave him alone

“Dear Christian Mingle, stop sending me emails.” — Eboné Bell, Managing Editor of Tagg magazine, Hip Hop Cardio Instructor, & Founder of Capital Queer Prom.

Oprah’s masterful interview skills

“Oprah rules. She is REALLY good at this. Just a master interviewer.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza. Also: “Lance is the least sympathetic apologizer possible. I feel ZERO empathy with him.”

“Oprah is a hell of a good interviewer.”– CNN’s Jeffrey Toobin.

“This is as much am exercise in journalism as confession. The packages Oprahs guys are dropping in help people who are new to the story.” — NYT‘s David Carr.

“I’m not feeling Lance but I’m loving Oprah. She is a first class interviewer.” — Washingtonian Publisher Cathy Merrill Williams.

“I love Oprahshe just goes straight in! #BOOM” — Essence and theGrio columnist Sophia Nelson.

The Best of… on Oprah & Lance

“Oprah tells crowd to look under their chairs where they discover rotten vegetables to throw at Lance. That interview I would watch.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

“Every asshole should get to do an interview with Oprah.” — New York Daily News‘ Josh Greenman.

“Mike Wallace would have filleted Lance Armstrong like a fish.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

(Fake Oprah Question): “Did you ever have sex with a dead wizard’s body for magical powers?” “Yes” — The Guardian and Salon freelancer Jim Newell during the “yes or no” only portion of the interview.

“For the judging media, remember the ‘culture’ that allows for enhancements that help your job (whisky, Adderoll, whisky).” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

“I read his book, I supported LiveStrong- so awful to watch him tonight – he seems mostly sorry he got caught!” — NBC4′s  Doreen Gentzler.

“So Lance’s drug use was real and Manti’s gf was fake. Got it.” — USA Today’s Jackie Kucinich.

“I feel like this is a public therapy session.” — CNN AC360′s Devna Shuka.

“If I’ve learned anything from this Lance Armstrong interview, it’s he’s a high school girl. Stab you in the back without breaking a sweat.” — Social Media Editor for NBC Washington Cheryl Thompson.

“If Lance Armstrong cared about ratings, he would have done interview on 60 Min. Not a cable network nobody watches.” — Alex Conant, U.S. GOP Sen. Marco Rubio‘s press secretary.

“You did not just make a fat joke to Oprah.” — Lizzie O’Leary, whose Twitter bio says simply, “apsiring Hildy Johnson.”

“When does Oprah roll out the wagon of fat?” — ClearChannel‘s Colby Hall. Also: “First clue that I am not on one of my regular viewing channels: seeing ads referencing transvaginal mesh.”

“Fun continuity game: watch water levels in Lance & Oprah water glasses for edit jumping. Straws are an odd touch, too.” — Politico‘s Steve Friess.

Daily Caller reporter takes nasty swipe at CNN’s Piers Morgan...

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Startling Monday headline

“Woman killed by Orange Line train” — story by the Washington Examiner‘s transportation reporter  Kytja Weir.  Read here. Weir reported that a woman jumped in front of an Orange Line train at 11:29 a.m. Monday at the Ballston Metro stop and died.

Speaking of orange…GOP Consultant Roger Stone had a few choice words for CNN’s Roland Martin for rooting for Texas AM aggies: “Roland Martin Dumbfuck–your avi photos shows you wearing ORANGE.”

NYT‘s Leibovich’s book release on the horizon

“Leibo book on DC, This Town, is avail for pre-order (ships 4/23)” — GOP Conulstant Matt Mackowiack. Purchase NYT‘s Mark Leibovich‘s much anticipated Washington culture book here. The book can also be purchased at Amazon for $17.71 for the hardcover or the kindle version for $14.99.  At the Barnes & Noble website, the book also costs $17.71, marked down $from $27.95. At Penguin.com, the hardcover costs $27.95.

Important Q to Ponder: “Is Downtown Abbey the thing with Honey Boo Boo?” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman. And this: “How I feel about Twitter during Downton Abbey = how my non-sports fan friends must feel about Twitter during playoffs.” — Politico‘s Juana Summers.

Anonymous wisdom to FishbowlDC: “Come on, Twitter fights with [Breitbart.com's] Matthew Boyle are like drunkenly walking into a light pole, and then getting pissed off at it for being in your way. Totally fun, but do you really want to give the light pole any relevance?”

Convo Between Two Journos

This morning’s conversation is between The Atlantic‘s Molly Ball and The Atlantic Associate Editor covering business and politics Matt O’Brien.

Molly Ball: “The American people are a bunch of lily-livered wusses who can’t handle a little bit of legislative hardball.” She links to this story on GallupPolitics which says that 77 percent of Americans believe that Washington politics is harmful to the U.S.

Matt O’Brien: “That’s underplaying how destructive it is to hold the debt ceiling hostage.”

Molly Ball: “Aww, so worried about your pwecious widdle economy. Adorable.”

A beloved journalist dies and an insult for TIME‘s Mark Halperin unfolds… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Bus driver caught reading while driving

“Metrobus driver caught driving bus while reading newspaper.” — ABC7. The original video appeared on the classy-named Unsuck DC Metro. Read more here. Horribly, maybe this is proof that print isn’t going out of style. But more importantly, which NEWSPAPER was it?!

Scribe brings mom to WH Xmas party

“Was so proud to take my mom to the White House Christmas party tonight. About 50 more of ‘em should make up for all the trouble I caused.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman earlier this week.

Febreze makes a sudden, inexplicable comeback

“The person who invented Febreze is a genius.” — MetroWeekly‘s Randy Shulman.

COS will dedicate special 3,000th tweet to deceased mother

“66 tweets to go to 3,000. I hope to make the 3000th on Dec 28 a tribute to my mother who passed away Dec 28 2006. Got any ideas? Thanks all.”  — Jim Sciutto, Chief of Staff to U.S. Emb. Bejing (and the Dept. of WTF?).

Monkeys on meth: How do they behave?

“Brief conversation with a US senator just now re monkeys on meth. Conclusion: They act crazy.” — Todd Zwillich, Washington correspondent for The Takeaway from Public Radio International.

Reporter wants to gorge on chocolate

“I love advent calendars. Is it too late to start one? I could just eat all the chocolate up to today in a day.” — The Hill’s Alexandra Jaffe.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

See who made the FishbowlDC Fan Club Board… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Writer questions Facebook friend advice

“OK, Facebook, I’ll bite: WHY do you think Tipper Gore and I should be friends (or, you know, ‘friends’)?” — Former Yahoo! News’ Deputy Editor and author Chris Lehman.

TV reporter has potentially psycho cleaning lady 

“Ok, my cleaning lady is GASLIGHTING ME! tell her not to do laundry. come home … SHE”S DOING LAUNDRY… with a big smile on her face.” — ABC7 reporter Stephen Tschida.

From the Dept. of Bragiculture…

“I think I may be the only tweeter that intersperses tweets about poop apps and the UN recognizing Palestine. I’m diverse that way.” — Kathleen McKinley, Houston Chronicle political blogger.

Wrap your head around this strange anonymous tip: “Too bad the editor isn’t named Buzz instead of Ben.   Then it could be called FeedBuzz.”

WTOP caller gets the axe

“Unhinged person. Not taking them.” — WTOP’s Debbie Feinstein regarding a caller who wanted to question Dr. Drew Pinksy about how gay people created HIV-AIDS in their Thursday morning “Ask Dr. Drew” segment.

Real HuffPost headline: “What’s the sweetest thing your child has said to you since the divorce? Share your story!” Good times HuffPost!

Obama/Romney lunch aftermath

“Romney and Obama had lunch together today. And you thought your Thanksgiving meal was awkward.” — Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert.

“I just assume these meetings between a potus and the man who ran to defeat him are extremely vulgar and profanity-laced.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman.

Convo Between Two Journos

Today’s conversation is between HuffPost’s Elise Foley and TNR’s Julia Loffe.

Loffe: “Does ANYONE speak on the record in Washington?”

Foley: “I request anonymity to speak freely, but no.”

Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

See who made our FishbowlDC Fan Club Board this week…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Naturally, Twitter had a field day. Reuters‘ Sam Youngman was thoroughly impressed with the tire salesman. He tweeted, “I have finally decided on my vote for Time’s Man of the Year: The Costco employee who tried to upsell Biden some tires.”

Plenty of others weighed in…. continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Not sure what it says that a photo of me bloated with a pillow under my shirt is my most-liked Instagram photo ever.” — Catherine Andrews, Director of Digital Content at Home Front Communications and former Editorial Director at Washingtonian.

Home for the Holidays

“Nothing like grandpa showing his tooth abscess to everyone one of us before dinner.” — Politico Pro web producer Caitlin Emma.

“Mom is regaling the guests w her theory that Bobby Kennedy had Marilyn killed w a poisoned enema to not leave marks. Kill me now.” — Publicist and former ABC “This Week” producer Courtney Cohen.

“Just realized I am stress eating chips & queso as my parents are grilling me about GOP options for 2016. Dinner has taken a nasty turn.” — House Maj. Whip Spokeswoman Erica Elliott. And on Thanksgiving: “When I announced I was going to take a shower to try and exfoliate this spray tan, my family literally cheered. Apparently it’s that bad.”

“I accidentally stumbled into a birds-and-bees conversation with my nephew, which led to me saying, ‘No, it’s not called a ‘virginia.’” — MetroWeekly Co-Publisher Sean Bugg.

“Ugh. Had I watched this Kentucky game in my apartment instead of my mom’s home, there’d be holes in the walls.” — Reuters’ Sam Youngman.

“Thanksgiving at the Ericksons involves 6 dozen eggs, 21 lbs of butter, and now 9 lbs of bacon. 4 cakes, 5 pies, 20 lbs of turkey, & 17 ppl.” — CNN Contributor and RedState’s Erick Erickson.

“Yumm. Here is my obligatory turkey photo.” — Politico’s Ginger Gibson. 

Hagman gave NPR director’s Nana a Texas twang

“Claudine, our director, sez her Egyptian grandmother learned English by watching Dallas. She now has a Texas accent. RIP Larry Hagman.” — NPR’s Scott Simon.

Journos get emotional around Thanksgiving

• “My uncle, God rest his soul, made squirrel and rabbit jerky for us as kids. Miss his smart aleck remarks about other fam during holidays.” — Breitbart.com and CNN Contributor (well, if that’s what they’re calling never appearing these days) Dana Loesch.

• “iPad photo app creators, thank you for hours of family fun. #sincerely” — ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper.

• “Just watched “Love Actually” for the 147th time. Still tear up at the end.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

• “A special thank you to our service men and women for their service and sacrifice. We are thankful for you all. #thanksgiving” — NBC “MTP” Host David Gregory (Just what the troops were waiting for, a shout-out from Gregory.)

• “My uncle just got a call from the hospital and they may have found a kidney donor! So happy for@veerichie‘s daddy! All my love to Toronto!” — ABC7 reporter Jummy Olabanji.

• “I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m thankful Caribou is open this morning.” — NBC Washington’s Matt Glassman.

• “The crash of Jesse Jackson Jr. Is a tragic end to a career that once seemed to have no limit. Very sad for him, his family & constituents.” — President Obama‘s top campaign advisor David Axelrod.

A WH Correspondent gets into holiday spirit

“Vaguely wish the White House had named the turkeys ‘Congress’ and ‘Syphilis’ and then crowdsourced which one gets pardoned.” — Yahoo! News’ White House Correspondent Olivier Knox.

And BuzzFeed‘s Kaczynski gets all grateful and neighborly…

“Yes neighbor loudly playing his bass while families in my apartment building sit down together for dinner, you are an asshole.” — BuzzFeed‘s Andrew Kaczynski on Thanksgiving just before 3 p.m.

Paul Wharton misses chance to stuff himself

“Y did I refuse to take a plate of Thanksgiving Food from my cousin’s house?! Now I want turkey and stuffing & all I have is Salad! WTF!?” — Real Housewives of D.C. Stylist Paul Wharton.

Baier Vomit

“Good morning! Happy Black Friday. Are you shopping today? My wife, Amy, says she might try – I’ll be with our boys far away from the mall!” — FNC’s Bret Baier.

Ambien Adventures

“If you take Ambien and forget to stop and go to sleep, it actually makes you stay more awake. Kinda crazy, eh? 730A & I’m still up.” — Elizabeth Lauten (a.k.a. DCGOPGirl and CNN iReporter) on the day after Thanksgiving.

Important Q to Ponder: “Possibly stupid cooking question: Can I use whiskey bourbon (Crown) in a savory recipe that calls for bourbon?” — Conservative writer and blogger Lisa De Pasquale.

One Bureau Chief has stroke of good luck and another warns journos about sobriety checkpoint…

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

IMMATURE, NUTS: “Bison bacon burger, two cheeses, salad of kale, olive, roasted peppers, Shiraz, walnut #ketchup. …I didn’t follow the recipe. Used walnut pieces mostly not unshelled immature nuts. Still great; cant wait for next year’s crop.” — Editor of Cato Unbound‘s Jason Kuznicki.

Monkey business in Church

Reuters’ Sam Youngman: “I don’t mean to speak out of school, but @jonward11 was talking during church.” WaPo‘s Jennifer Rubin:  “tattle tale.” National Journal Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier: “To God perhaps?”

Incest Desk

“I’m no killjoy, but traveling press playing football w/Romney staff? Unseemly.” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak. WSJ‘s Elizabeth Williamson agreed, saying, “So wrong.”

Uh Oh.

“Just took 9 aspirin. If that doesn’t work there’s a loaded 9MM under the bed.” — Breitbart.com‘s John Nolte.

Traveling journo

“Today in euphemisms: Just got a call from Southwest Airlines telling me my 4:15 p.m. flight has been ‘updated’ to 5:05 p.m.” — WaPo‘s Felicia Sonmez.

And Dana’s just glad they didn’t inspect her vagina…

“Thanks, Indy TSA for allowing my oldest and I to use the metal detector, not scanner, and for not grabbing my ladybits!” — CNN Contributor and Breitbart.com’s Dana Loesch. For a refresher on what happened to her at the airport last week, read here.

Eavesdropping at the barber shop

“TAKE NO PRISONERS: Having a blast listening to the back and forth on the election this morning at the barber shop.” — Jamie Dupree, Cox Radio.

 Shocking: Righty journo down on Obama

“Obama campaign is acting like it was back in June when it had a very bad month — snark, hyperbole, and light on big ideas.” — CNN Contributor and RedState.com‘s Erick Erickson.

Find out which journos had a case of pumpkin fever this weekend and who drank seriously expired Nyquil? Also….find out which one of us was blocked by conservative journo John Podhoretz.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“The tweeties. What are they called? They were blowing up today.” — Actress Rosie Perez on MSNBC’s “Rachel Maddow Show” last night in reference to Twitter.

Oh no he didn’t.

“For the record, Candy pronounces her last name wrong.” — TIME‘s Michael Crowley referring to CNN’s Candy Crowley, moderator of tonight’s presidential debate.

Speaking of Candy…

“Modern campaigns are endless exercises in caution and cowardice. This Candy episode is only the latest example. Toughen up, folks.” — Reuters’ Sam Youngman. In other Youngman news...”With 22 days to go, I need a haircut, some clean clothes and a Keith Richards-style blood change. It don’t get no funner though.”

The Observer

“You know what I think is really screwed up? The number of people commenting on a reporter’s physical appearance. Learn some manners.” — DoubleThink‘s J.P. Freire, disgusted after reading negative comments about Candy Crowley’s weight online. He told FishbowlDC, “Saw a few tweets about it that were so upsetting — and from men too. One thing I’ll never get is some men’s willingness to offer commentary on a woman’s physical appearance as though (a) they’re qualified judges given their own defects (b) they have any taste to brag about (c) they think all a woman has to offer is her looks and (d) anyone would care after such statements. Anyway I was just being indignant.”

Perks: “Nutella giveaway at the Metro. Breakfast of champions” — The Atlantic‘s Brian Fung.

Wisdom is…

“Even the most contrite confession is incomplete without penance, reparation. Our political class needs to learn that — both parties.” — Washington Examiner‘s David Freddoso.

Recipe for a five car pileup

“Surreal. I’m driving and just heard the @washtimes radio ad about me for the first time.” — TWT Senior Op-ed writer Emily Miller.

Journo speaks of computer like it’s human

“There’s something so poignant about my laptop installing updates as I’m about to get rid of it. The poor thing has no idea.” — The Atlantic‘s Molly Ball.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

While at the Democratic convention, Roll Call HOH‘s Neda Semani live-tweeted former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist‘s speech. The governor suddenly became a very high ranking figure. “It kept correcting Crist to ‘Christ,’ which I didn’t realize until after,” Semani told FBDC.

Politico‘s Ben White has had his own issues with spelling software. “Not for nothing but my spell check wants to change ‘Stephanopoulos’ to ‘postmenopausal,’” he tweeted last month.

Jen Bendery at HuffPost has also felt the sting of auto correct. “I usually catch auto-correct mistakes before hitting send,” she said, “but one thing that is super annoying (and happens all the time) is when I hurriedly write ‘seriously’ and ‘aerioauky’ fills in.” Bendery said she wasn’t sure if aerioauky is a word. (We’ve consulted an American dictionary and confirmed it is not.)

And on and on it goes. Below is a compilation (undoubtedly an incomplete one) of the trials and tribulations journalists have had with auto correct:

Slate‘s Dave Weigel told us no matter how many times he types in his “favorite phrase,” his phone always adjusts it to say “I don’t give a shot.”

Last year WaPo‘s Tim Craig sent out a tweet that was supposed to be about D.C. compensating fire department workers. It ended in a much messier tweet (emphasis ours): “Also, couldn’t argument be made 24 hours shits would be cheaper for city,” Craig wrote. “Big fires last hours, so more OT would be paid if 12 hour shifts?”

Over the weekend, Fox News’ White House Correspondent Ed Henry tweeted, “Adventures in Auto-correct: ‘We made a pistol at Shake Shack’ — um ‘pit stop’!”

Last month Reuter‘s Sam Youngman tweeted, “Today’s traveling tune: ‘Home Sweet Home’ by Mötley Crüe.” The dots above the “o” and “u” are called umlauts. AP‘s Henry Jackson tweeted at Youngman that he was “impressed” by them.. “Not me. Auto correct knows how to party,” said Youngman. Jackson replied, “I always suspected auto correct had a hard-rock streak in him/her.”

Goodie two shoes Tim Wong, who works on WaPo‘s mobile design team, said he proofreads his messages and hasn’t had any auto correct mishaps. “I learned to never depend on spell check in J-school,” he said. Wong added, however, that auto correct is “probably one of the cardinal enemies of the Twitter hashtag.”

SiriusXM/P.O.T.U.S Radio’s Julie Mason has also faced down the curse of the correction function. “I constantly ask others to ‘wait a sex,’” she said. “I had a colleague once whose byline, via auto correct, became ‘John Maggot.’”

And in a pool report last month, Yahoo! News‘ Oliver Knox noted that David Plouffe‘s last name “generates all manner of oddball auto correct suggestions.” In the Firefox web browser, suggested replacements for “plouffe” are “souffle” and “pouffe.”

Freelance video journalist Markette Smith told us she “always” has problems with auto correct. In the past she sent texts meant for her husband to her boss twice. Thankfully it was “nothing too damaging.”

Avid conservative tweeter Kevin Eder wrote last month, “I don’t even know why I bother tweeting from my phone. It never, ever ends well. #typos #errors #fail”

BuzzFeed‘s Andrew Kaczynski tweeted in September that he “often get[s] in trouble” typing “it’s” verses “its” thanks to auto correct.

Our favorite comes from WaPo‘s Erik Wemple. He experienced a particularly awkward screw-up while corresponding with an executive at Allbritton Communications (his employer at the time). The executive had asked Wemple to do something. “I was happy to comply with the request and was in a rush, so I wrote ‘NP.’ That is, short for “no problem.” But auto-correct rendered it as ‘NO,’” Wemple said. Needless to say, he had to smooth things over.

On the other hand, there’s the ever cautious ABC 7 daytime anchor Steve Chenevey. To avoid mishaps, he has done what many may eventually do — he turned off his work phone’s auto-correct feature. Safe and sound.

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