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This Week In Pool Reports

Tourists complicate a presidential car ride, POTUS speaks out on Libby, FLOTUS looks “hip” and Maine experiences a Russian invasion.

  • “POTUS’s little pre-4th afternoon jaunt to Beltsville was significantly complicated by holiday beachgoers and — we were told — a traffic accident. The trip to Beltsville ended up taking about an hour and 10 minutes, compared to 30-35 minutes on typical weekends. It was literally a crawl for the first half hour or so. For the return trip police held traffic off the parkway at least momentarily, significantly speeding our progress.” — John D. McKinnon, Wall Street Journal

  • “He took two questions, both on Libby. In response to the first, he declined to rule out a complete pardon for Libby at a later time. ‘As to the future I rule nothing in and nothing out,’ he said. But he also reiterated that he thought Libby’s non-prison punishments should stand. He described the commutation of prison sentence as a ‘very difficult decision.’ He reiterated that Libby’s punishment was ‘severe.’ He said he took into consideration Libby’s background and service to his country.” — McKinnon

  • “Fresh from his face-to-face with leader-for-life Hugo Chavez — in which the Russian president nodded grinningly as the Venezuelan president told him ‘the empire must understand that it cannot dominate the world’ — Vladimir Putin today came to the empire to visit its soon-to-depart, lame-duck president at dad’s place. And the former KGB man with the see-through soul was all smiles, presenting bouquets of flowers to first lady Laura Bush and former first lady Barbara Bush, double kissing Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and heading out (without your pool) for a boat ride with the Most Powerful Man in the World — and his dad.” — Joseph Curl, Washington Times

  • “As the pool milled about near the flag pole (whipping in the wind, four flags: U.S., presidential seal, Texas, Maine), Barbara appeared at the door of the main residence, stepping out to chat with a few people gathered at the circular driveway, including Deputy Chief of Staff Joe Hagin. At about 5:30, Rice and FLOTUS came out another door, walked down a driveway, and
    posed for pictures with Barbara (Hagin the shooter). FLOTUS was wearing a quite hip Hoodie, Condi, an orange sweater and white slacks.” — Curl

  • “Last: The little squire of Kennebunkport has gone Cyrillic — everywhere, signs are written in Russian (including the Clam Shack, with it’s 1-lb. ‘cahabny 43 onapa’ (lobster 43 roll) at $15.50 — a bargain for Russians with phonies Franklins). Stuck in the roll: A U.S. and Russian flag on toothpicks. On Saturday, a trio of Russian press poolers (wearing their official badges) shot everything — a pair of black bikers parked by Dock Square (‘Look, Boris, black people! In Maine!); the village’s lone horse-and-buggy carriage (‘Well, the last superpower is still horse-powered, hmm?’) and even took a picture of your pooler eating a cahabny roll, which
    he expects landed well in the motherland.” — Curl

  • “As the press walked out, the pool passed a sign that said: ‘CAUTION: PRESIDENT ON SEGWAY — SLOW DOWN.’” — Curl

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