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When in Rome…

TIPS FROM THE POOL, INTO THE DEEP END

Yahoo! News‘ Chief Washington Correspondent Olivier Knox is taking full advantage of his time in Rome with V.P. Joe Biden and his entourage to witness Pope Francesco’s installation. Calling the voyage the “Popey Changey Tour,” on Twitter he promised, “I’ll try to make the pool reports entertaining.”

And so far, he has.

The Best Of…

From a Sunday White House Pool Report:

“He shook hands and/or saluted his greeters and then it was off in a when-in-Rome-drive-as-the-Romans-do (what, you thought I wouldn’t use that cliché?) motorcade. We were in a separate staff motorcade that zoomed through Roman streets, while police cars and motorcycles held off Roman traffic.”

From a Sunday Pool Report at 8:42 a.m.:

“Your pooler will be referring to himself as your pooler with only a hint of self-consciousness.”

From a Monday Pool Report at 5:53 a.m.:

“The Corriere della Sera newspaper doesn’t mention the VP on page one — Italy’s political turmoil, Europe’s financial difficulties, and the Pope (known here as Francesco) get most of the space. Your pooler’s Italian would need an upgrade to be merely rusty, but page 11 has a graph showing 11.7 percent unemployment and 38.7 percent youth unemployment. …President Obama shares a page 17 piece with Miss Israel (her photo — she’s in a red dress — is much larger than his) to set up his trip to the Middle East.

“Your pooler will take this opportunity to thank his colleagues for the outpouring of advice and suggestions and responds thusly: No, he will no ask anyone at the Vatican ‘what about your gaffes?’ Yes, if the opportunity presents itself, he will ask about the moral trade-offs inherent in austerity policies. No, he will not write his installation mass pool report in the style of the Gilligan’s island theme (‘a three-hour mass! A three-hour mass!’) …No, he won’t be doing this sort of riff when there is actual news.”

From a Monday Pool Report at 6:39 a.m.:

“The VP…will attend the mass and take part in the receiving line. Your pooler is advised that the line is closed press but that Vatican TV might show some of it.”

 

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