Reading WaPo‘s “The UnReliable Source’s” writeup from Wednesday night’s Jack Abramoff book party at The Daily Caller‘s Tucker Carlson‘s house is about all you need to read to understand why gossip at the town’s supposed premier Washington paper is about as exciting as flushing the toilet.

For one thing, they ask a question in the headline that they don’t really answer: “Who shows up for that?” If you read WaPo‘s writeup only you’d think it was Tucker, his wife, Susie, Abramoff, Exec. Director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics Melanie Sloan and a slew of unnamed Daily Caller staffers. What their names are The UnReliable Source has no idea. But worse than that — this is what constitutes gossip?

More importantly, today’s The Unreliable Source breaks down who Bradley Cooper has dated. He’s hot and heavy on their minds since he won People‘s Sexiest Man Alive. No relation to Washington — but to hell with that concept.