New Yorkers really shouldn’t be allowed to cover the Oscars. Maybe it’s something in that water that calcifies vital showbiz synapses. Or maybe they should drive more.
David Carr, the NYT’s Carpetbagger, proves without a shadow of a doubt that he’s all wrong for his job.
Alan Arkin was the name they announced when it came time to open the envelope for best supporting actor, leaving Eddie Murphy with a frozen smile and Mr. Arkin with a significant bit of recognition for a lifetime of work. It was the night’s first surprise, and it sent a pronounced ripple through the press room. The Bagger, btw, never saw it coming.
We’ll bet that’s not all he never saw coming. Equally feeble is another NYT writer:
Archives: February 2007
8:36 p.m.: We like Ellen’s red velvet tux, but we’re pretty sure Randy Quaid gave those shiny white shoes to Chevy Chase’s character in National Lampoon’s Vacation.(Fuggers)
Abigail Breslin/Jaden Smith
Someone just emailed me that these two look like the Class of 2015 for drug rehab.
Shadow Puppets or Interpretive Dance
9:25 p.m.:AND THEN THEY RUIN THE MOMENT WITH MORE INTERPRETIVE DANCE. (Fuggers)
I was more interested in the extended version of the Wes Anderson American Express commercial than I was the dance troupe that can somersault into penguins. And that’s only partly because I don’t trust them behind that scrim. (Vanity Fair)
8:01: Ennio Morricone is speaking Italian. And Clint Eastwood is translating. This is proving less than a stellar and riveting combination. (Ray Richmond)
It’s That Guy!
8:50pm: Don LaFontaine appears and we all shout, “It’s the movie trailer announcer guy! From the Geico commercials!” (TrailerSpy)
8:35: Will Smith is obviously coloring his head stubble gray for added gravitas. (Defamer)
6:48: Why is Jack Nicholson’s head shaved? Britney Spears empathy? (Hollywood Elsewhere)
6:32: I think it only fair that Randy Newman be asked to share some of his hair with James Taylor. (Ray Richmond)
8:48:56 PM: Phil Hoffman looks homeless. (Film.com)
Is it us, or did Naomi Watts look slightly frightened of Robert Downey Jr. after his joke about being a big drug addict in the ’90s? (NYPost)
11:45: Another. Montage. At least it’s the death reel. And this may seem crass, but doesn’t it feel like Jack Palance dies again every year? The games montage editors play. (Best Week Ever)
Blow-By-Blows Kinda Blow: We are puzzled by the pervasiveness of online minute-by-minute accounts of awards shows. Is it really important to note that at “5:35 p.m. — The nominees stand up in the auditorium, a record 177 artists and craftsman, applauding themselves and one another”? We don’t think so. But, if you’re into that kind of thing (you sick little fetishist, you), then you’ll love this.
You Always Remember Your First Time: A surprising number of Oscar virgins were deflowered: Martin Scorsese, Helen Mirren, Forest Whitaker, Jennifer Hudson, Alan Arkin … and, of course, Al Gore.
On A Related Note: American Idol producers are being given the reigns of next September’s Emmys show to make sure it doesn’t, you know, suck.
Ryan Seacrest has a hard job — at least, he makes it look really hard. Here are our favorite Ryan Seacrest Red Carpet moments:
Moment One: Ryan Seacrest interviewing Maggie Gyllenhaal
RS: “So, what are you doing here?”
MG: “I’m presenting.”
RS: “So you’ve done three movies with your brother, right?”
Moment Two: Ryan Seacrest flashing his Calvin Kleins
It really added a level of class and sophisication to the Red Carpet coverage.
Moment Three: Ryan Seacrest interviewing Al Gore
RS: So who would play you in the Al Gore movie?
AG: Oh, I don’t know. William Hung?
Gold Derby’s Tom O’Neil, who’ll also be live-blogging tonight, tries to refute the Spoilers posted on Deadline Hollywood. He’s got Steve Pond commenting on the said spoilers. And naturally, Deadline Hollywood comes back strong, writing:
I’m told some of these alterations were made over this weekend because of my spoilers, and some because the changes weren’t popular.
Pond replies to the reply. Cut it out, you two!
FBLA does the math–and does it again.
DH vs. GD: The Scoreboard
DH: 1, This first secret is big. Huge. Gigantic. It’s that Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola, and George Lucas…
GD: No mention
Spoiler! DH 1, GD 0
DH: 2. I can reveal another secret which the Academy is keeping–that Tom Cruise will be presenting the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award to ex-Paramount mogul Sherry Lansing.
GD: that was reported by Slate a day or two before.
Unspoiler! DH 1, GD 1
DH: 3. Here’s another spoiler: Oscar telecast producer Laura Ziskin and Dreamgirls director Bill Condon have planned that each of the Dreamgirls — Beyonce, Jennifer Hudson, and Anika Noni Rose–will sing each others’ songs from the movie.
GD: All I can really say is that the number is very collaborative.
GD: The ‘Dreamgirls’ songs have not changed. They were pre-recorded several days ago, all with the same arrangements that will be used tonight. There was never anything changed in reaction to any of her reports.
Spoiler! DH 2, GD 1
Un-Spoiler! DH 1, GD 2
DH: 4. Here’s another secret: I’m told that there’s a big change in the order that the awards will be presented.
GD: It is true that one of the supporting awards will not be handed out in the first third of the show, which is the usual…
GD:I have the copies of every daily show breakdown starting from Monday of this week and the awards never moved.
Spoiler! DH 3, GD 1
Un-Spoiler! DH 1, GD 3
FBLA will not be live-blogging the Oscars. Hell, we aren’t sure we’re even watching. We might be doing good works among the poor.
You want live-blogging? Try these:
The Fug Girls
David Spade, yes David Spade.
Beleaguered fashion flacks are more on edge than usual this Oscar season, and it’s not just because of the usual last minute shenanigans that go on in the race to dress the short list of A-listers at Sunday’s event. The ubiquitous television spots — everything from what tooth whitening process the stars are using to be camera-ready at the Kodak Theatre to the tried and true “shopping for a dress” segment with a nominee — have been strangely absent from virtually all of the celebrity-focused news shows that have been breathlessly covering all things Oscar for years. The concurrent freak shows surrounding “Bald Britney” and Anna Nicole Smith‘s death and subsequent legal wrangling have commandeered virtually all the air time that would ordinarily be devoted to those puffy Oscar “style” pieces that fashionistas spend all year angling to get.
Roman Genn went to the Barack Obama fundraising shindig, but couldn’t get past the velvet rope. But, thanks to his magic pen, Pajamas Media readers got to live vicariously.
It’s a cross between the Westminster Dog Show and your high school prom, but for whatever reason, we all go ga-ga over the Oscars.
Here’s a roundup of this week’s Oscars coverage:
The Envelope put out an Oscars preview issue that included too much Elizabeth Snead… which is to say any at all.
Deadline Hollywood Daily reports that “Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola, and George Lucas together will be presenting the Best Director award this too-long telecast.”
People magazine gives us the ghosts of Ugly Oscar Dresses past.
The media’s excitement over the 79th Academy Awards is boiling over. Few media events — the Super Bowl and, to a lesser extent, presidential election — are covered with this much eager (overkill?) anticipation. Here’s a selected primer: