New York Times show business correspondent Michael Cieply has some fun with the first few paragraphs of his look at the current retro remake craze in Tinseltown. With Footloose and Dirty Dancing to the left, and Schwarzenegger action flicks and a Robocop reboot to the right, here’s how he cleverly frames it all:

Hollywood is sloshing in its Hot Tub Time Machine with a cluster of projects that recall an era when hair was big, heroes had biceps and the stars who are returning to the limelight were a lot younger.

Billy Crystal’s return as the Oscars host, it turns out, was just a warm-up act. For the first time in a decade, Mr. Crystal, 64, is a leading man. He plays opposite Bette Midler, 66, as Artie Decker, a grandpa who takes charge of his daughter’s three children in Parental Guidance, set for release by 20th Century Fox in November.

And… in case you hadn’t yet heard, one of Cieply’s interviewees tips Hollywood’s current attempts to reunite a certain 68-year-old SNL alum with the narrative of an on-screen road trip vacation. Seriously.