Inland Empire: Spanish-language television network Telemundo apparently doesn’t have the cojones to fire Mirthala Salinas. So instead it will force her to quit. The one-time anchor, who was suspended without pay for two months in August for reporting on Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa while having an affair with him, will return to the station. As a reporter. In Riverside. This all but guarantees she’ll say adios to the station before her contract expires in December.

Harvey Keitel Is A Small Fish: This has to be news to the acclaimed actor. But according to Living Vicariously columnist William Lobdell, who spent the day as a paparazzo, if Keitel were a fish, “I’d have to throw him back.” Next week, Lobdell will spend the day as an aged actor whose life work is reduced to a bad analogy and until he’s tossed aside like a skinny minnow.

Cuomo “Pokes” Facebook: New York Atty. Gen. Andrew Cuomo is investigating Facebook’s safety claims. He’s just mad, because nobody has written on his wall.