SyFy, the Polish slang for “syphilis,” American slang for “virgin,” has an ’80s teen pop face-off in the works:

Syfy has cast 1980s pop-star rivals Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in one of the network’s signature Saturday night original movies.

The network promises an epic battle between the former teen pop stars, who will co-star in “Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.”

Gibson will play a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.

In the script, the pair brawl at a party, then take matters outside into the swamp.

Both singers previously have been cast in Syfy originals but never have appeared together.

And now they’ve added Micky Dolenz, the Ringo Starr of the Monkees.

The moral of the story is Justin Beiber should invest his money wisely.