We took it as a joke (and a bad one, at that) when John McCain tried to compare Obama to Paris Hilton, et al. But it turns out Barack Obama‘s presidential win is not only historic for breaking racial barriers and exciting a whole generation of new voters. It’s historic for how — and whom — covered it.

Us Weekly treats the Obamas like the Jolie-Pitts, complete with baby photos and sartorial critiques. Could you imagine an Us Weekly cover featuring John Kerry and Teresa Heinz?

Even Red Carpet Fashion Awards got into the act, going out on a limb to predict the First Lady’s dress designer. (Narciso Rodriguez. Turns out they got it right.)

We’re glad to see the tabs as excited as the rest of the country about this historic day, but we hope this new trend in celeb reporting doesn’t last. It’s one thing to hear what Obama’s family had to say on election night, it’ll be another if they start asking the First Family to weigh in on the latest exploits of Britney Spears.

Michael Hastings, noted for using his personal experiences on assignment for material, has penned a piece for GQ titled,”Hack: Confessions of a Presidential Campaign Reporter“.

Objectivity is a fallacy. In campaign reporting more than any other kind of press coverage, reporters aren’t just covering a story, they’re a part of it – influencing outcomes, setting expectations, framing candidates – and despite what they tell themselves, it’s impossible to both be a part of the action and report on it objectively. In some cases, you genuinely like the candidate you’re covering and you root for him, because over the long haul you come to see him as a human being. For a long time, this was John McCain’s ace in the hole with the press, whom he referred to as “my base.” Reporters rode along with him, and he joked with them, and that went a long way toward shaping the tone of their coverage. (Last January a group of reporters asked McCain’s staff to make McCain campaign press T-shirts for them.) And because your success is linked to the candidate’s, you want to be with a winner, because that’s the story that makes the paper or the magazine or gets you on TV.

He also compares following presidential campaigns to watching hotel porn. Why is this significant for us? Well, because every time we mention porn our numbers spike. It used to be Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. But now it’s just porn. Porn. Heh.

Republicans are in a pickle. Gee…this is fun to watch.

WaPo reports:

Staging a convention during a major natural disaster would be a public relations challenge for either political party. But GOP officials say the burden could be especially heavy for their party, whose reputation was tarred by the Bush administration’s bungling of Katrina and its aftermath in 2005.

A hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico could also cast unwelcome attention on the offshore oil rigs that McCain has championed as a solution to rising gasoline prices — they are now being evacuated in the face of the coming storm.

Fiasco. Tee hee.

Seriously? After chasing Britney Spears‘ vagina, they’re taking a break from celebrities and are going after that other historically glamorous population: democratic delegates.

– Via LAist

Paps Feel The Pinch: Bad economic times are hitting everyone. Even the guys who follow Britney Spears around: “The prices that photos fetch are often overstated, but … an exclusive photo of Spears today would only bring a 10th of what it did during her most erratic times.” Soon paps will start sounding like laid off coal miners. Hot, angry, Brazilian coal miners.

It’s What The Kids Want: Dawn Chmielewski reports that ESPN will launch an online network dedicated to action sports — surfing, skateboarding and the like — to expand their fan base beyond, you know, your dad.

Late-Bird Special: Rachel Abramowitz notices that many of today’s blockbuster’s stars are over 40. That’s such an astute observation… that most entertainment journalists made it, like, a year ago.

Mad Men, Getting Madder: Scott Collins adds to the uproar by TV critics and boob tube junkies who continuously berate us for not watching Mad Men. They all say we’re missing something… but riddle us this, Collins: If the show is so great, why isn’t it on HBO?

Britney Gives It Up: The 1 1/2-year court battle is over and Kevin Federline gets sole custody of the kids, with Britney Spears allowed visitation rights and one sleepover a week. The decision puts an end to the nasty court case … but not to our profound feelings of pity for the woman.

America’s Next Top Video Blogger? We’ve stated it here before: We don’t watch American Idol, but we religiously read Rabbi Richard Rushfield‘s sermons about AI, so we’re happy to report that the good rabbi has added some video to his blogs. The clips are short (and some feature a little too much footage of feet), but if you’re into AI, this will enhance the experience. If you’re not into AI, just read the text. It’s as riveting as ever.

Favorite LAT paragraph of the Day: In a story about 75 students arrested in a San Diego State University undercover drug bust: “One alleged dealer was just a month away from receiving a master’s degree in homeland security and had worked with the campus police as a security officer, officials said. Another student, who was arrested on suspicion of possession of cocaine and two guns, was a criminal justice major, officials said.”

Dreamy-Works? We’re not entirely certain, but we think Patrick Goldstein just likened David Geffen to a thoroughbred.

Is Britney-Mania Dying Down? The AP reports the scene surrounding Britney Spears’ courthouse arrival this morning as surprisingly subdued and sparsely attended.

Freelance entertainment journalist/author/funny woman Joal Ryan has started up a shiny new blog dedicated to a very niche media obsession that has served her well over the years: former child stars. Scoff if you want to, but her blog posts are more addictive than Doritos (and we’re going to guess, better for you, too). Ryan tells FBLA a bit about the philosophy behind Former Child Star Central.

1. What inspired this? The day Dana Plato got arrested for holding up a video store in Las Vegas. I don’t know, something changed. Honestly, this began as a goof, and ended up as my niche because people really care about what happens to the people they grew up with, whether the people be former classmates or former child stars.

I originally intended to have fun with the subject, and I still do. But since former child stars are far too easy to make fun of, I find it’s more interesting to actually think through the stories.

And, by the way, I’ve since visited the locale where Plato pulled her botched heist. Reality checks always spoil the fun because there’s nothing funny about imagining someone reaching the end of their rope in the desert. In a strip mall.

2. What do you do to research this stuff? I’m a very good Googler. Also, I’m very fortunate to have a readership that’s kind enough to pass along tidbits every now and then.

3. Who are your top three favorite former childhood stars?
The three quintessential former child stars are: Gary Coleman; Gary Coleman; and, Gary Coleman.

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Digging Up The Dirt: Charles Ornstein discovers the identity of the UCLA Medical Center employee who is said to have snooped the private medical records of 60 celebs, including Paris Hilton and Maria Shriver. Lawanda J. Jackson, a low-ranking administrative specialist who resigned in July, told Ornstein she didn’t sell the info: “It was just me being nosy.”

Mike Ovitz To Take The Stand, Avoid Awkward Encounter: Michael Ovitz is set to take the stand in the Anthony Pellicano case. Ovitz is said to have hired the private eye to snoop on former LAT reporter Anita Busch and former NYT reporter Bernard Weinraub. Favorite paragraph:

After Ovitz leaves the stand, depending on how quickly he gets to the elevators, he could bump into his alleged adversaries, Busch and Weinraub, who are expected to testify as well. However, the FBI agents who escort witnesses in and out of the federal courtroom are pretty good at timing. Like a psychotherapist who allows patients to enter one door and exit another to prevent unwanted encounters, an agent sometimes waits for one witness to disappear into the elevator before signaling to another agent down the hall to bring on the next witness.

Rabbi Rushfield’s Opening Line: Rabbi Richard Rushfield begins his account of Idol Gives Back with the line: “It is said that every generation gets the telethons they deserve.” Richard, we’re falling in love.

Oops! The L.A. Times is retracting the erroneous Tupac story from its website because it “relied heavily on information that The Times no longer believes to be credible.” Um… shouldn’t they have done that back on March 17?

Oops! Remember when UCLA said that employees’ snooping into Britney Spears’ and Farah Fawcett’s medical records was an anomaly? Not so much. So far, the snoop is said to have checked out the records of 32 celebrities. Maybe it’s just us, but we don’t want to know that much about stars’ urinary tract infections.

Oops! United Talent Agency lost “a trio of partners representing some of the best-known comedy actors and filmmakers in Hollywood” to Endeavor over the weekend. It’s gonna be an awkward at the Grill today.