In honor of this weekend’s intersection of “45 & Stinking” (Lakers) with “50 & Counting” (Stones), we’ve compiled a very special song list. This one’s a little different than the one Mick jumped through Saturday night, but for die-hard Lakers fans, it’s the only one that makes sense:

“Sad Sad Sad”
“The Worst”
“Stop Breaking Down”
“Shattered”
“Out of Tears”
“Rock and a Hard Place”
“Doom and Gloom”
“Dear Doctor”
“Biggest Mistake”
“It’s All Over Now”

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It was such a perfect way to close out the first Lakers match since the death of team owner Dr. Jerry Buss that on today’s edition of Mason & Ireland, colleague Mark Willard wondered if Ireland had prepared the line beforehand or come up with it on the spot. “Neither,” the broadcaster honestly replied.

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Then again, it’s not really a fair fight. Kind of like when the Lakers square off against the Thunder, Grizzlies or any other median-age-advantaged Western Conference rivals.

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It doesn’t matter if the Lakers lose to the Clippers tonight, just like it didn’t matter that they lost to the Mavericks and the Trail Blazers. Far beyond the first week of the 2012-13 regular season, they’re going to make the playoffs. And by that time, the team will be just fine.

Panic of this preposterous sort is what drives sports talk radio ratings. And so, if you have been listening – as we have – to ESPN 710 and KLAC 570, you are hereby forgiven for assuming the Lakers are 0-81 going into tonight rather than 0-2.

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Notice who’s missing from this cover?

Get used to seeing less of Kobe Bryant and more of the Los Angeles Lakers’ two newest stars in Steve Nash and Dwight Howard.

Nash and Howard are on the cover of the Sports Illustrated NBA preview issue, which hits newsstands on Wednesday.

In the issue, Howard tells Lee Jenkins about the first time he had an alcoholic beverage:

On the night of Aug. 10, when Howard was dealt to the Lakers, he went to dinner at Mastro’s in Beverly Hills, and a large group of strangers invited him to their private room. “They said, ‘Dwight, we want to welcome you to L.A. and make a toast to you and your new journey here,’ ” Howard recalls. “I told them, ‘Thank you, but I don’t drink, I’ve never had a drink before.’ And then I thought about it, and I was like, You know what, I think this deserves a drink.” He clinked glasses and lifted one to his lips.

That is likely the first of many toasts in honor of Howard if the Lakers can bring home another NBA championship.

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Allaccess.com is the first to confirm the news. Given VBJ’s loyal fan base, there will likely be more article and Facebook comments like these:

Jerry: I think they did push him out… Pat’s shtick of being impatient with Vic every day was Pat’s true feelings about Vic.

rusticgroovy: It’s only been a couple of days and I really miss Vic. I love Pat (& tolerate Steve) but the Loose Cannons are not the same. Missing you, Vic!

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Monday marked media day for a majority of the teams in the NBA, including the Los Angeles Lakers.

The team’s two biggest offseason acquisitions, Steve Nash and Dwight Howard, officially donned the gold jerseys for the first time at the team’s training facility in El Segundo.

And in case you’re wondering who’s the alpha male on the court with all the new additions, it’s still Kobe.

“I think this is Kobe’s team,” Nash told ESPNLA.com. “For the media’s perspective, this is Kobe’s team. But anyone who’s ever played on a basketball team, it’s also our team. The team needs to share in that responsibility. Kobe can’t do everything. He’s going to be great at what he’s great at, and the rest of us got to pick up the pieces that get to us. This is undoubtedly Kobe’s team. He’s been here his whole career. He’s won championships. And he’s the best player on the team. We got to be there for him every day, so it’s essentially our team as well.”

Sorry, Dwight.

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SbB has learned Chris Broussard & Jon Barry won’t returm to ESPN’s NBA studio. Added to show: @sportsguy33 & Stan Van Gundy

— SPORTSbyBROOKS (@SPORTSbyBROOKS) September 11, 2012

In the latest sign that Bill Simmons is the most powerful man at ESPN, the columnist and man behind Grantland will reportedly join ESPN’s NBA studio show this season.

Simmons and former Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy would replace Chris Broussard and Jon Barry, according to Sports By Brooks.

However, ESPN couldn’t confirm the report when contacted on Tuesday by FishbowlLA.

“We are in the process of considering all assignments for both returning and potential new commentator roles. As we’ve said before, Stan is someone we’d be interested in exploring,” said ESPN spokesman Ben Cafardo. “For Bill,  same applies, we’re exploring the best ways to utilize all of our talent, including Bill, this NBA season.”

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Turns out coach got a little contorted upon being told by general manager Mitch Kupchak that against all odds, even if it turns out to be only for a year, the Lakers obtained Howard without having to give up Pau Gasol:

“I got a little excited. I tried to jump up and down, but my mind was telling me to do something that my body wouldn’t allow me to do. I almost pulled my hamstring sitting down. I don’t know if that’s ever happened to anybody, but I was so excited that my leg tensed up. I almost tore my hamstring. So I got up slowly and gave him and Jim Buss a hug.”

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The idea is to piggyback a local business or product onto a major celebrity who has yet to make a direct connection to the operation. Today, we give the office of Beverly Hills eye doctor Dr. Rajesh Khanna full points for the way they have fashioned such a dispatch around LA’s biggest new star. This is really about as legit as a “press releech” gets:

As Dwight Howard gears up for the NBA season, the Khanna Institute knows that enhanced vision could help him perform at his best possible ability. Dr. Khanna has seen first-hand the dramatic influence and positive outcomes of laser eye surgery. Athletes such as USA water polo player Ryan Bailey, an Olympic gold medalist, had his vision virtually transformed in the hands of Dr. Khanna. Through his experience and expertise, Dr. Khanna is positive that he can improve Dwight’s clarity of vision and quality of life.

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Ben Bolch of the Los Angeles Times has already declared the Lakers the 2013 NBA champions:

Go ahead and mark it down, with a Sharpie: The Lakers will make it back to the Finals in 2013. And they will win it.

Listen, I get why folks are excited. But we’re talking about the 2013 NBA Finals in August when we don’t know the health status of Howard and how he will fit in with Kobe Bryant, who isn’t exactly the ideal teammate.

But I guess this is what happens when we don’t have a football team to focus on in the fall.

Welcome to Los Angeles, Dwight. And no pressure next season or anything like that to win.

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On the other hand, it’s strange that the website has nothing up on the front page at press time (other than a throwaway poll question) about the bad-karma LeBron James tweet heard around the NBA. Also, we’re not sure why the photo slides across the board do not include the names of article authors.

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