Comedian Ricky Gervais is calling it quits from the Golden Globes.

No, seriously. For real this time.

Gervais wrote on his blog that he wouldn’t be persuaded to host the award show for a fourth time:

“It was by far my favourite of the three hosting stints. I’ve told my agent to never let me be persuaded to do it again though. It’s like a parachute jump. You can only really enjoy it in retrospect when you realize you didn’t die and it was quite an amazing thing to do.

The crowd were great this year too. I think they finally worked out that my gags only seemed rude and nasty but were actually not too scary at all. Or they were just drunker. Either way, it was fun but I’m glad to say I’m off to New York to chill out a bit.”

Thanks for all the laughs and awkward moments, Ricky.

Despite saying he shouldn’t do a second encore, English comedian Ricky Gervais will host the 69th Golden Globes Awards on Jan. 15, 2012.

Gervais was voted as host for a third consecutive year by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association after meeting with NBC senior vice president Doug Vaughn.

“Just told Billy Crystal he’d better not use any of my holocaust or pedophile material at The Oscars,” Gervais tweeted Wednesday afternoon.

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Speaking with Piers Morgan on CNN Thursday night, Ricky Gervais made it clear he doesn’t see anything wrong with his performance at the Golden Globes. “Like I’m going to go out there and not talk about the issues in their industry!” he exclaimed.

Gervais also expressed confidence that the celebrity attendees of the ceremony have a sense of humor about his jabs. On mega-star Johnny Depp, Gervais mused:

Do you really think he hasn’t seen the press about The Tourist? Do you really think he’s hurt that I didn’t like The Tourist?

Gervais went on to say that he’s sorry if anyone was offended… but he’s not sorry for anything he said.

Robert Downey Jr. may not have appreciated the caustic humor of Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais, but Twitter tells us that he’s got a plethora of defenders in the industry.

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Or as Finke herself puts it, “Live-Snarking.” Starting at 5 pm, she’ll be verbally bitch-slapping the Golden Globes in real time on her Deadline Hollywood blog.

Finke isn’t exactly a fan of the Globes, as she notes on her blog:

This is a completely meaningless awards show from a scandal-riddled organization on a network desperate for ratings. Not only have journalists like myself for years been attacking the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for its exclusionary membership policies and too-cosy relationship with studios and networks, but an Oscar-winning documentary director (Vikram Jayanti in his 2004 film The Golden Globes: Hollywood’s Dirty Little Secret) has called the group a bunch of “freeloaders” who know more about hors d’oeuvres than auteurs and select winners based on “who kisses butt best”.

This oughta be good…

SAG members won’t cross picket lines for the Golden Globes, no matter how big the goodie bags.

Why don’t the Gawker writers join the WGA? Then they can all threaten to go fi-core.

RIP, Ed LaDou. Too bad his obit didn’t mention how he got screwed over by California Pizza Kitchen. Pizza Therapy has an interview.

Lower your BMI and fight off zombies in 2008!

2008 trend watch: Sleevefaces

Reality show watch: Why Would Satan Want You?

(photo by Patrick Cates)

The WGA won’t issue a waiver for the Golden Globes, causing much gnashing of crooked, stained teeth at the Hollywood Foreign Press offices. The Guild has also denied the Academy from using clips from films and past Oscars during this year’s shows, which should make the AMPTP tremble, because there’s no way a Debbie Allen dance number can replace the clip montage of the dead.

Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien will be back on their respective shows starting January 2, without writers or monologues. Luckily, Jay has enough money to hand out cash to audience members and Conan has been taking mime lessons.

Jimmy Kimmel is coming back, too.

Nickel Counting and Nickel Counting.

NBC will recycle two USA Network series, Monk and Psych. New episodes of both series will air first on USA in January then repeat on Sunday nights in March on NBC.

What a week!
Sundance kicks off. The Golden Globes was nearly kicks-free.
Art Buchwald kicks it.

All of which has left us so exhausted, we plan on becoming one with our couch this weekend. If you care to join us, Korbi from E! online tells us what TiVo’d nuggets we should veg out to.

See ya Monday.

Radio Station Axes DJs After Woman’s Death: John Geary, vice president and general manager of Entercom/Sacramento fired three Sacto morning DJs and seven other KDND-FM employees after a woman died in a “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” water drinking contest. That’s probably the right call (though it won’t get them out of a lawsuit); can you imagine the HR paperwork on that? “Reason for termination: Um… well, see, there was this contest, right? And, um…”

Were They High When They Made the Seating Arrangements? The Golden Globes party planners very nearly sat LAPD Chief William “tough-on-medical-marijuana” Bratton at a table with the cast of Weeds. Another interesting tidbit in the story: Despite the presence of the chief (or maybe because of it) someone made off with 80 gift bags valued at $450 each.

Another Duttons Bites the Dust? Not exactly. But the flagship Brentwood store — and really one of the best bookstores in L.A. — might move or get a much-dreaded facelift if its landlord has his way.