There was probably no stranger election panelist intro on Tuesday than the one given by Ora TV’s Larry King for comedian Jon Lovitz. The rejuvenated talk show host explained that he had just watched, the night before, a crazy Kevin Costner-Elvis movie, 3000 Miles to Graceland, that features his guest getting killed.

Lovitz started out by revisiting, in very articulate fashion, the reasons for his recent (and now-infamous) “anti-Obama” rant about one-percenters supposedly not paying their fair share of taxes. The actor emphasized that in addition to a 35% federal tax rate, he is subject to a lowered but still-there capital gains tax on any stock-market reinvestment earnings.

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Even though Yifat Oren (pictured) prefers not to be referred to as a “celebrity wedding planner,” that moniker has stuck because of her A-list clientele. Today, in what appears to be her first and only blog entry on the HuffingtonPost, she criticizes the constant media frenzy that surrounds major Hollywood nuptials.

Oren feels that today’s constant coverage of celebrities chips away at the self-worth of the audience-at-large. She also recalls that while working the Kevin Costner wedding in Aspen, Colorado, she was astounded when she finally caught sight of a hillside filled with photographers wielding telephoto lenses:

I thought to myself, what is it these people are trying to capture? What story are they trying to tell? Having witnessed celebrity nuptials several times since that day, I can attest to the following; there is no special story, celebrity weddings are like all other weddings, they have snafus, annoying family members, bouquets that need to be fixed, toasts you could have lived a lifetime without. It’s a wedding, that’s it, no more nor less. If you are still vested in fairytales, may I suggest the Brothers Grimm, they were my favorite.

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The first performing arts job that came Pen Densham‘s way involved riding atop a live alligator at age four for a short film made by his British parents. Lo these many years and Hollywood projects later, the USC adjunct professor has chosen to refer back to those beginnings for the title of his January 2011 screenwriting how-to book Riding the Alligator: Strategies for a Career in Screenplay Writing (And Not Getting Eaten).

The 63-year-old writer-producer has two Oscar nominations to his credit, for Best Short Subject (Live Action) in 1973 and Best Documentary Short Subject in 1980. On the TV and feature film side, his best known credits are the 1991 Kevin Costner film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and the sci-fi anthology remake series The Outer Limits.

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We couldn’t help but wonder about a revival of the Kobe-Shaq rivalry after learning of Kobe Bryant‘s new two-year endorsement deal with Turkish Airlines. Just last week, the GM of that country’s Besiktas team was telling website Hoopnotes.com that Shaquille O’Neal had indicated an interest in following Allen Iverson over next year.

For the moment, Kobe is treading in the footsteps of coach Phil Jackson, who during one of his famous summers of pondering whether or not to return as Lakers coach, trekked across the country. That’s one up on No. 24; despite a flowery quote about Turkey in the release, he tells CNBC he’s never traveled to the country.

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We already spent all our Waterworld quips on the video of the oil-water separator that Kevin Costner‘s scientist brother offered to clean up the Gulf. So we’ll move on to saying that working with BP is like dancing with wolves in a field of dreams…

Meh. Really not funny without the Waterworld reference.

Times-Picayune reports:

BP has decided that a $24 million oil-water separator promoted by actor Kevin Costner could be useful in its response to the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, WWL-TV reports.

Previously on FBLA:

When we think of an epic disaster of monumental proportions, Kevin Costner is on the list. So this is a nice fit, huh? Way to use our celebrities! Use one “natural” resource to clean up a giant marine-life murdering blob of tar and gas headed for the Atlantic.

Listen up celeb bloggers!

You don’t have to be bitchy like the self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media” Perez Hilton to get bold-faced names to read your random fan musings on news, pop culture or celebrity life. Just ask Evan Kessler.

He’s the celeb-friendy brain behind “If I Blog It They Will Come,” a blogspot devoted to Kevin Costner, and more specifically, aimed at getting the Oscar-winning actor to read his site and send in a pic of himself doing exactly that.

Kessler, who calls himself a “genuine fan,” can claim mission accomplished thanks to countless posts about the star and his work. Not only did he get one pic but he received three of Costner cozied up to his computer reading all the great things about his resume.

It may have started out as a “goofy venture” but Kessler can now set his sights on other celebs. But not before offering Costner his very own “If I Blog It They Will Come” t-shirt in return.

- CHRIS GARDNER