Lindsay Lohan’s rehab romance, Riley Giles , might have thought twice before confiding to the world that Lohan’s an “addictive personality”:

Riley revealed how Lindsay used orgasm after orgasm as a potent substitute for the huge chemical hits she was used to while partying.

Sooner or later, she’ll probably figure out that a vibrator never talks to the tabloids.

Spring Street By Way Of Fleet Street: Crime writer Richard Winton will chat live with readers today at 1 p.m. about Lindsay Lohan’s sweat and all things criminal. Winton, a lovable conspiracy theorist with a British accent is likely to amuse and delight. Think of it as a discussion about celebrity justice with a kooky male Mary Poppins.

And In The Next Bit Of Unlikely News: Geeks at Comic-Con will be elbowing each other’s light sabers tonight trying to get into the screening of snipets of … Beowulf. We keep sipping our coffee wondering if we woke up in the same world we fell asleep in last night.

OK. It’s Officially An Alternate Dimension: Giant squid have invaded California and are eating up all of our fish sticks. That’s it. We’re going back to bed.