Writes Hilton on his site:

I am ready to announce that earlier this month I was blessed with the birth of my first child, a beautiful and healthy baby boy – with lots of hair on his tiny head!

My family is overjoyed at this newest and most cherished addition.

Hilton told the LA Times a few years ago he wanted to have a child by the age of 35. Today’s announcement made no mention of his son’s surrogate mother or if he plans to raise the child alone.

Photo: Perezhilton.com

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Maude Garrett (pictured), who broke through Down Under in 2005 via the national talent search Fresh Meat and has hosted various programs on Nickelodeon Australia as well as the Channel 9 reality TV program The Pursuit, is moving to LA for the new gig. Per the Optus MCM Media Group announcement:

The self-confessed pop-culture brainiac and video game fanatic will be moving to Los Angeles and she couldn’t be more excited about it. “It’s my dream job!” Maude says. “‘I’m able to completely indulge in my love of pop culture, from music to movies and gossip! Moving to LA to attend premieres, interview the biggest celebrities and talk about my obsession with video games…. somebody pinch me!”

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One big difference between Harold’s Rapture and Al’s ‘Pocalypse is the fact that in the latter case, children under five will not be admitted. From the show’s promotional blurb:

Weird Al’s first full-length studio album in nearly five years debuted at No. 9 on the U.S. album charts, marking the highest-charting album of his storied career. Alpocalypse features the much-talked-about Lady Gaga parody “Perform This Way” as well as parodies of hits by Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, T.I. and B.o.B featuring Bruno Mars. Al and his long-time bandmates were aided and abetted in the recording studio by guest appearances from Taylor Hanson and The Doors’ Ray Manzarek.

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“When we started the blog from scratch, the idea of hitting a million monthly page views seemed outrageous,” D’Zurilla tells FishbowlLA via email, “until we did it the first full month out of the gate (thanks, Tiger Woods and Adam Lambert). One of the coolest things about our August numbers and what they represent is that our readers came for a variety of stories across the board, rather than spiking on some huge scandal that broke on a holiday weekend.”

D’Zurilla, who shares the Ministry page with fellow blogger Matt Donnelly, references one of his recent items as an example of the fringe benefits that come with increased traffic. “I was the first person to hunt down and interview the Old Spice Guy, Isaiah Mustafa, in February 2010. Back then, it took eight days before anyone found the story and picked it up–even counting our LAT compadres.”

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Hollywood, however, is a different story. Patrick has already started his own clothing company, and just recently landed a modeling agent. And then there are the starlets:

“I just saw Tallulah over winter break,” he says, referring to the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. “I was at their house in Sun Valley.” Although he just reunited with an ex, Patrick cockily refers to his tweet-mates Kendall Jenner and Selena Gomez as “girls for the future.”

“My eye, though,” he adds, “is set on Miley.”

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Billy Ray places much of the blame on Hannah Montana, the Disney TV show in which he and Miley both starred. He tells to GQ, “I’ll tell you right now—the damn show destroyed my family.” When asked if he wishes Hannah Montana had never happened, he replys:

I hate to say it, but yes, I do. Yeah. I’d take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just be everybody okay, safe and sound and happy and normal, would have been fantastic. Heck, yeah. I’d erase it all in a second if I could.

The full article is available on the GQ website.

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After Keely recorded a twangy ode to the Steelers, “Drive for 7,” dad went to work, posting links on various Steelers-related web pages and blasting out a press release, even though the video at press time is at a modest 12,500 views:

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So…how’s that whole nice working out?

So far the results seem mixed. The site’s been pretty bland today. But Hilton just couldn’t resist taking a dig at one of his favorite targets: Miley Cyrus.

The headline above is in reference to a video Hilton posted of the singer Ke$ha, entitled “Ke$ha getting served a buffet of dicks,” which shows the starlet drunk and asking a bunch of cameramen to whip out their respective junk for her inspection. Hmmm, comparing 17-year-old Cyrus with a drunk 23-year-old adult trying to get a peak at some wiener…

Just a hint Perez. If you’re really looking to become less of a bully, 17-year-old girls are probably the ones you should lay off of first.

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You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus‘s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Read the entire list written by Allan Uthman & Ian Murphy
with contributions from John Dolan, Eileen Jones and Alexander Zaitchik here.

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FBLA sat down with Jordan Osher, Chief Executive Officer of the site Meet The Famous for a little Q and A:

FBLA: So how do you think our pictures of Helen Thomas would fly on your site?

JO: If there’s an exclusive, never before seen photo of Helen with a great story that people want to read about, I think there would be a following. Unlike all the other celebrity blogs and entertainment sites, MeetTheFamous.com is the only one that allows everyone to post and share their celebrity photos and stories with the world (and get paid for it!)

FBLA: Isn’t Miley Cyrus awesome?

JO:I think her enormous success speaks for itself. How many people can accomplish what she has accomplished before the age of 18, let alone in their entire lifetimes? We have seen a lot of Miley Cyrus postings on our site and the overall consensus is that she is really cool to her fans and awesome to see live in concert.

FBLA:Where do you think we’d get the better photos – AA meetings or methadone clinics?

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Most Miley Cyrus fans would die for a chance to meet the “Hannah Montana” star, but when your dad has just been elected President of the United States, you have a little extra pull. Eat your heart out, Rush Limbaugh.

Billy Ray Cyrus told Access Hollywood that “Hannah” might get a visit from future first daughters Malia and Sasha Obama.

“They probably will. The invitation is there,” Miley’s dad said. “The ‘Hannah Montana’ film comes out in April. Maybe something might happen around then. Maybe not. I don’t know… I have got to keep a secret.”

Miley Cyrus said she didn’t know if the offer had been extended yet to the White House’s new resident “Hannah Montana” fans.

“I think that would be really cool and if anything, have them visit the set,” Cyrus noted. “They could see what we do and we could hear about what they do.”

But what kind of storyline does Cyrus envision for the girls if they do appear on her show?

“They are kind of like me before I started my own career. You are kind of put in it because their dad and because of my dad… so I would want it to be normal and they could come hang out on the set with normal girls. I think that would be fun for them,” she explained.

As the Obama daughters get ready for a life in a much larger spotlight, Cyrus offered some advice on how to handle the attention when one of your parents is a superstar in their own right.

“I think, more than anything, it would be to find your own identity,” Cyrus said. “Something that makes you stand out where you can be like, ‘This is Miley and she does this.’ I think that is a cool way to be if you can have your identity away from your parents, away from a friend or brother or sister.”

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To inspire the masses, MySpace and PayPal have enlisted a coterie of young things: Hayden Panettiere, The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Hilary Duff and Vanessa Hudgens.

All these stars have installed the widgets on their pages — and are helping to promote a contest that includes weekly prizes and $20,000 in cash.

So now you don’t have to feel completely dirty about perusing the pages of underage stars.

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1. Miley Cyrus set to announce new favorite color.

2. Rob Lowe‘s nanny breaks off romance with Christian Bale‘s bodyguard’s cousin’s best friend.

3. Kobe confident he can lead Olympic tam to Lakers-style offensive and defensive collapse.

4. Obama – boxers, briefs, or free-range?

5. Exclusive: Britney takes cuts in Slurpee line at Malibu 7-Eleven.

6. Iran launches nuclear missile at Israel.

Making fun of LAT owners is one thing. Making fun of its readers… now that’s funny!

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Miley Cyrus’ Tongue Is Worth More Than Your Car: Pap agencies are prepared to pay upward of $150,000 for a shot of Miley Cyrus‘ “first kiss,” which we’re assuming means first public kiss. Disturbing piece, but we have one question for Rachel Abramowitz: Why all this talk of Miley’s wholesomeness without ever mentioning the green bra debacle?

French Dip: Elizabeth Snead serves up some foreign dish today with a look at the Nice-Matin, the hometown paper of Cannes, France, which gave out some snarky awards to America’s best imports (e.g. Mike Tyson got the “Absurd Award” for simply being Mike Tyson). Ah, the French.

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Side Show Freaks: Carla Hall turns her attention to Pellicano’s co-defendants “the disgraced cop, the one-time Las Vegas businessman, the former phone company technician and the computer whiz.” It’s a fun read, we highly recommend.

Even More Ado About Nothing: Miley Cyrus’ green bra has sparked controversy. Kinda. Not really. But, shhh, don’t tell the LAT that (Sorry, Dawn).

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