Wish you were in France? (Us neither). But just in case you want to keep up, here’s a list of local pubs who have sent bloggers over for a vie en film:

The Hollywood Reporter: Steven Zeitchik is live blogging Cannes.

Los Angeles Times: Kenneth Turan brings his cranky old man schtick to France. We bet the French eat it up.

Los Angeles Times: And Sheigh Crabtree is there, too.

Perez Hilton: No, he’s not really there. But that’s never stopped him.

Variety: Anne Thompson gets all the good gigs.

Our Favorite Line of the Day: Courtesy of Elizabeth Snead, who reported on the Hep A scare at Ashton Kutcher’s birthday party (or was it his bar mitzvah?). She writes: “All together now, ‘Happy hepatitis to you, happy hepatitis to you!’”

Handicapping The Oscars: Sheigh Crabtree puts together a lovely picture book to show how in this year of upsets (the Giants steal the Super Bowl! Herbie Hancock sweeps the Grammys! A beagle won Westminister!), anything could happen on Sunday. No, that won’t help you with your office pool, but there are a bunch of pics of George Clooney in there, so we’re not complaining.

Hollywood Hands Gilbert Cates An Oscar: The LAT heaps loving praise on Gilbert Cates, the producer of the Oscars, who is working, like, super hard right now.

PETA Scores Dita: The latest in the long line of foxes conscripted by PETA, burlesque “artist” Dita Von Teese will teach you about spaying and neutering your pets in a way that Bob Barker never could.

Milla Jovovich Is Pregnant: And not at all interested in talking about it. Bully for Sheigh Crabtree. She managed to turn four obviously hard-fought quotes into a whole story. She’d have had better luck hanging out with Samantha Harris & Co.

Halo Vs. Spider-Man: Wanna read a really long story about the difference between the revenue generated by video games versus blockbuster movies? Be our guest.

You’ll Find Him In Da Club, But Not In Da Studio: It’s all silly, promotional nonsense, but 5o Cent said that if his album, Curtis, did not outsell Kanye West’s record, Graduation, he’d quit putting out solo records. And it looks as though he’s going to have to face his bluff. We hear a similar bet played a roll in Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s resignation. Which sucks, cuz Abe’s got mad skillz.

The World Loses A Musician: Keyboardist Joe Zawinul died on Tuesday in Vienna. He was 75. Don Heckman does a nice obit, reviewing the highlights of his life — not the least of which involved marrying a former Playboy Bunny.

LAT Scooped: Pity poor Sheigh Crabtree who had the unenviable task late last night (her piece posted on the LAT Web site at 11:14 p.m.) of following a NYT story announcing Jon Stewart would host the Oscars. Aren’t the Oscars L.A.’s turf? How’d they get beat?