We are endlessly fascinated with celebrity gossip sites — not because we care one lick about Antonella Barba, but because we’re in awe of how many words go into crafting the meringue-like confections of each individual blog post.

Take, for instance, TMZ.com’s recent posting about Justin Long. Basically, a reporter saw Long walk his dog down Robertson Blvd. yesterday. That’s it. Guy walks his dog. End of story.

But in TMZ’s capable hands, the “story” stretched to 83 words — including three puns and four pop culture references.

LAT, take note, we’ve seen the future of journalism. And it has you rolling over and playing dead.