71-Year-Old Ransom Note Expert Expert On Ransom Note Experts

If Snakes On A Plane can inspire insurance companies to issue press releases to highlight their insurance coverage in the event of planes filled with snakes, then the media’s swarming coverage of the JonBenet arrest can certainly inspire a wacky 71-year-old ransom note expert to e-mail us explaining why other ransom note experts suck:

—–Original Message—–
From: Not-Yet-Retired Ron
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2006 1:13 AM
To: fishbowlny
Subject: THAT ransom note!!!

Howdy Folks!

Will you please spread the word that reporters are barking up the wrong hydrant with regard to these so-called “Ransom Note Experts.” I am Dr. Ron, the author of “HELP! I’M BEING HELD A PRISONER IN A RANSOM NOTE FACTORY!” and, at age 71, the world’s foremost purveyor of Custom Ransom Notes to fit the occasion! If you don’t believe me (surely, you jest!!).

Seriously, Charles, I have reason to sense that this thing is about to bust open. Both William F. Buckley and Phyllis Diller are quite high in their praise of the book. I’ll happily send a copy if you’d like. But please do give the site a look. PS — the second book, due out in October, is titled (hopefully for chuckles): SECOND NOTICE!!

Thanks and Best Wishes,
Ron Pataky
Chief Ransom Note Specialist

EARLIER:

Snakes On A Plane Provides Motherf*cking Awkward Marketing Opportunity

Who Would Play JonBenet ‘Killer’ In TV Movie? Happiness‘ Dylan Baker, Perhaps?

JonBenet Case ‘Solved!’ Then Unsolved By Daily News

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